


share with me the sun (you forget sometimes it's yours)

by vaguenessarda



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lena Luthor, Bottom Lena Luthor, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kara Danvers Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs Therapy, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Oral Sex, Pansexual Kara Danvers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Smut, Strap-Ons, Top Kara Danvers, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 102,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25641619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaguenessarda/pseuds/vaguenessarda
Summary: Picks up right after 05x19.Lena felt a surge of warmth at having Kara’s hand in hers once again. She had missed the softness of the hero’s gaze, and having it directed her way after such a long period of self-isolation was enough to reignite a small spark of hope inside her. Maybe things were not totally lost after all. Their relationship, their fight against Lex and Leviathan—it all felt manageable now that she and Kara had tackled the ugly bulk of their near-fatal spat. Though there were a million things still left to be said, Lena felt more resolved than ever to take down her abusive, narcissistic, maniac of a half-brother. One thing had become abundantly clear during this ordeal: She would have to be the one to fight for her own soul, no matter how often the pull of darkness drew her in.Or, if I wrote Season 6.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 262
Kudos: 956





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, I've got this whole fic already plotted out and about 1/3 already written. I'll be updating regularly. 
> 
> Here's a playlist I made for your listening pleasure:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=vv9eA-qKQDmBehwEjU3mJA

_“Let’s go take my brother down."_

~ ~ ~

Lena felt a surge of warmth at having Kara’s hand in hers once again. She had missed the softness of the hero’s gaze, and having it directed her way after such a long period of self-isolation was enough to reignite a small spark of hope inside her. Maybe things were not totally lost after all. Their relationship, their fight against Lex and Leviathan—it all felt manageable now that she and Kara had tackled the ugly bulk of their near-fatal spat. Though there were a million things still left to be said, Lena felt more resolved than ever to take down her abusive, narcissistic, maniac of a half-brother. One thing had become abundantly clear during this ordeal: She would have to be the one to fight for her own soul, no matter how often the pull of darkness drew her in. More importantly, she was strong enough to resist that pull, despite her “genetic predisposition.” (Or she had been, at least, on this occasion). If only there was time for her to express the depth of her turmoil to Kara, to make her truly understand how close she had come to completely losing herself. How she was terrified of it happening again. It would have to wait until after they saved the world, once more.

Kara had just opened her mouth to break the tension and offer up some semblance of a starting point when Alex came bursting in. She looked battled-worn and disoriented, eyes darting between Lena and Kara and a desolate Andrea Rojas sat near the newly-reunited pair of Eve and her mother.

“Brainy’s in trouble. J’onn, M’gann and Dreamer have gone to Leviathan’s ship to save him… It has something to do with a bottle?” Alex blurted out as she approached. “I’m guessing the Hope Speech went well? Kelly is working on recalling the VR lenses from Obsidian, but that’ll likely take longer than we need.”

She looked quizzically at Kara and Lena, obviously noting for the first time since stepping into the lab that the two were lacking the edgy glares and standoffish postures that had come to characterise their limited interactions. “So…what’s the plan?” she asked expectantly.

Lena looked to Kara to take the lead. Despite their brief moment of unity earlier, there was no doubt in her mind that the elder Danvers would not be warm to the idea of the Luthor taking charge. She _had_ trapped her sister in the Fortress of Solitude using trace amounts of Kryptonite after all. Lena cringed internally at the memory of her not-so-distant past actions and realised that Kara was waiting patiently for her to speak—an interesting departure from her typical “punch things first, ask questions later” approach. Huh. She took a breath and began.

“Lex is working with Leviathan.”

“We know this already,” Alex interrupted. Kara gave her sister a sharp look, implicitly silencing her. The blonde turned back toward Lena, urging her to continue. 

“I went through some of his files after I left him. He clearly doesn’t see me as a threat at this point. After all, he’s successfully manipulated me into working with him once again.” Lena closed her eyes in frustration. Her self-pity wasn’t helping right now. Clearing her throat, she continued. “They have technology that renders the user immortal; he means to adapt it for his own use.” At this, both Kara and Alex gaped in horror. “I’m guessing he wouldn’t mind taking out Supergirl while he’s at it. He’s gained Leviathan’s trust and he doesn’t care how many humans—or aliens—he has to hurt to get what he wants.”

“So Lex was helping Leviathan trap everyone inside the VR in exchange for immortality?” Kara exclaimed. She was pacing now. The hero was visibly agitated upon learning the extent of Lex’s meddling in the post-Crisis reality. 

“What’s his next move?” Alex directed her question at Lena. “You know him better than anyone. There must be another way for him to carry out their plan. That egomaniac won’t just give up on the chance of becoming immortal.”

Lena resented the implication that she was so in tune with Lex that she could predict his movements but had to admit that there was some truth to it. Revealing that her mind worked along the same pathways as Lex’s would do nothing to endear her to Alex, but all of humanity was at stake. She’d deal with the wary glances and negative assumptions about her character later. She’d been doing it her entire life. It was second nature at this point.

“The likeliest scenario is that he will try to use the underlying technology from my abandoned Non Nocere project.” It wasn’t easy to admit that her grandest invention, one meant to make the world safer and better for all, was about to be used for the ultimate evil. “If he can amplify its reach and readjust its protocol from ‘do no harm’ to total mind control, he could, in theory, force victims within a certain radius to obey his will. He could have them re-enter the virtual void and stay there forever.” _Or as long as Leviathan needs them to_.

A year ago, Lena would have sought out Kara’s eyes for comfort. The one person who always believed in her, who defended her and who simply _knew_ she was on the side of good. Now, with a chasm left between them, bridged only by a flimsy thread of apologies, Lena couldn’t bring herself to witness the disappointment she knew she would find there, on _Supergirl_ ’s face. She looked to Alex instead, already anticipating distrust and anger, bracing herself for the onslaught. She could handle Alex hating her. It was more difficult with Kara, the alien embodiment of compassion and sunshine.

Alex looked tired, but her face remained impassive. “What can we do to stop it? There must be _something_.” Lena recognised that Alex’s efforts to remain calm were borne out of the crucial role the Luthor had to play if they were to succeed, not of any newfound concern for her carefully masked feelings.

Uncomfortable with the situation, but eager to move on, Lena replied quickly, “There are certain safeguards of course. I didn’t just leave it there, open to his nefarious purposes. They should hold him off for a few hours at least, but he’ll disable them eventually. He _is_ a genius.”

Alex closed her eyes and nodded solemnly. She crouched forward, leaning heavily on the nearest work desk, head hung low in contemplation.

“And what about the reach of the device? Leviathan won’t be satisfied if only National City is brainwashed. Kelly’s archivist friend Pete found that their actions have always had an international impact throughout history,” Alex supplied, with increasing intensity. The reminder that they had a severely limited amount of time to pull this off was starting to take its toll.

Lena looked at Kara now, unsure of what her reaction would be. She had been unusually quiet during the exchange, giving Lena time to explain, as she had back at the loft. Kara’s mouth was set in grim determination, understanding colouring the ocean of her eyes. Their gazes met and Lena knew they had the same thought. “Myriad,” they said in unison.

~ ~ ~

Kara had sped off and returned in the time it took for Alex to emit a heavy sigh and for Lena to relive the memories of her many experiences with Myriad. Her mind automatically began running through the avenues at her disposal for tampering with the Kryptonian device. She could see Lex using a trans-matter portal to breach the Fortress and stealing the all-powerful box. Now, how could she get close enough to interfere with it? To stop him?

“It’s gone.” Kara had reappeared, unsuccessfully hiding her troubled thoughts. Lena would have given anything to be able to smooth out the crinkled frown decorating the Kryptonian’s face, or to ease the worry churning underneath it.

“Any chance the DEO tech that stopped Myriad last time survived the building collapse?” Kara asked half-heartedly, not expecting a positive response. Lena greatly appreciated her phrasing. They all remembered vividly that the last time Myriad imposed a threat on society was when it was in her own misguided hands.

“Nope,” Alex replied unhelpfully, looking up just as the previously absent Superfriends made their way into the lab.

Brainy looked worse for wear, but Lena supposed that the way Nia was guiding him into the room with a gentle hand was responsible for his overall tranquility despite having just escaped death. It seemed that facing extinction and surviving by the skin of his teeth had the effect of softening the Coluan. Maybe the couple stood a chance. The quarterly assassination attempts on her life could have had the same effect, Lena mused, if only she hadn’t shoved her errant emotions into infamous “boxes.” _Or if Kara hadn’t lied_. She shut down that train of thought as soon as it materialised. She was fucked up before Kara and she would likely continue to be even if they forced the shards of their broken relationship back together. 

“Brainy! Are you okay? What happened? Alex, check him over!” Kara rushed over and hugged her friend, who received the affection with his distinctive awkwardness.

 _Of course, while I’m over here thinking of my own shitty life Kara’s only concern is for Brainy_. Kara’s display of emotion jolted Lena into collecting the spare medical equipment she kept around in case of emergency. She brought it to Alex, who had sat Brainy down and was examining him for any lasting injury. Brainy twitched uncomfortably but consented to the basic tests Alex could perform.

“Agent Dox, why exactly were you onboard that ship? And what can you tell us about Lex’s involvement with Leviathan?” J’onn questioned with his deep and calming voice.

Brainy took a breath in and began to confess a year’s worth of secrets. “I had ventured to Leviathan’s ship in order to foil Lex’s plot. I have been working closely with him in order to ascertain his true motives and to prevent him from prevailing in his quest for immortality. He purported to be allowing Leviathan to defeat Supergirl before he stopped their reprehensible plan of rendering Earth’s population into automatons...I could not allow any more harm to come to my friends.”

Brainy paused in his speech as Alex drew blood from his arm. “I succeeded in capturing Leviathan, but Lex predicted my actions. He has possession of the bottle where they are being held and there is a 98.97% chance that he will unleash them from captivity within the next 12 hours. Without Leviathan’s cooperation he has no access to their immortality technology.” He looked on pensively and gratefully accepted the bottle of water Lena proffered to him. “The ship’s defence mechanism is what nearly killed me. Anyone who wishes to breach the inner chambers of the ship requires a small pin-like device for protection.”

The room was eerily silent given the number of people crammed inside. J’onn and M’gann were exchanging glances—clearly communicating telepathically.

Lena had never fully believed J’onn when he denied using his abilities without consent, but maybe if he _had_ read her mind it could have saved her some heartbreak. Was he able to discern that Lena’s actions had always been well-intentioned? That her modus operandi was to distance herself from her twisted adoptive family? Could he sense her deepest fears and insecurities? Or perhaps he could read her psyche on an even deeper level, and was aware of a lurking evil waiting to surface?

Her ruminations were cut short as Nia shot up in her seat next to Brainy with a gasp. Lena hadn’t noticed her nodding off. It was a wonder that Dreamer managed to get _any_ work done at CatCo, given her extreme narcolepsy.

“Lex is on Leviathan’s ship,” she gasped. “He’s playing around with some box? I have no idea where the immortal demons are, he doesn’t seem to have the bottle with him, Brainy.” Nia’s recitation of her dream came out in a breathless mess, but it was coherent enough to jumpstart the group into action.

“Where is the ship located?” Kara asked in an authoritative voice, looking at Brainy. “I need to stop Lex before he can get through Lena’s safeguards. We can figure out Leviathan later.”

“It’s hovering about 20 km above the centre of National City. Not far off from here, actually.” Brainy replied. “But Supergirl, you realise they have amassed all of the DEO’s Kryptonite stores aboard the ship, no doubt anticipating that you would appear. I would advise against rushing into—”

“Lena made me an anti-Kryptonite suit. The sooner we stop Lex, the smaller the chances are that he can unleash Leviathan.” The hero had fetched and donned the suit while speaking and looked like she was about to take off, J’onn and M’gann primed to follow her for backup.

“Wait Supergirl.” Lena grabbed Kara’s arm, and the blonde paused, looking back. “This is Lex. He knows you. He’ll be expecting this… I don’t trust it.”

She struggled to get her thoughts across to the hero, fearing that she would dart off before Lena could convey the danger that lay before her. Lillian would surely have admonished her for such an unrefined expression. She lacked her typical poise and confidence, an unfortunate side effect of having fallen back into Lex’s special brand of emotional torture.

Just as she opened her mouth to propose an alternate course of action, her adoptive mother appeared on the large screen at the back of the lab, as if summoned by Lena’s own grim thoughts. The group clambered over to see the projection, though it was rather unnecessary given the booming volume of Lillian’s voice.

“Hello Supergirl and… _others_. Your little stunt in the VR just now was quite _cute_ but you would be sorely mistaken to assume that a little speech about hope and pain could stop literal gods.” At this, Lillian narrowed her eyes and the floor below them shook from an unknown force. “You may be wondering why you’re feeling so…unsteady. I’ve let Leviathan out of their playpen and they are _not_ pleased. I wouldn’t bother trying to stop them from destroying the city. As I’m sure you’ve figured out, Lex will soon have eliminated the need for all of the amenities it provides.”

The earth was trembling steadily now, tables and chairs tipping over, ceiling tiles crashing to the ground. Eve and her mother had rejoined the team, and the commotion seemed to have shocked Andrea out of her funk.

Lillian placed a device in her ear and closed off her speech. “Lena, I know you’re upset that your little pet project didn’t pan out, but look on the bright side. Your brother is going to transform it into something _truly_ remarkable. I’m extending an invitation for you to come collect an earpiece to protect you from mind control. It would be a shame to lose a mind as advanced as yours; you could be such an asset to the society we plan to rebuild.”

The screen went black. Lena felt, rather than saw, everyone eyeing her just as the ground gave a terrifying lurch.

“We need to get out of this building.” J’onn bellowed in a commanding voice. “M’gann, Dreamer, Brainy, Alex, you come with me. We need to stop Leviathan from causing too much damage. I can sense them just outside; Lillian must have given them our location. Supergirl, you know what to do.” J’onn spared a glance at Lena as he moved toward the door, but quickly refocused on rallying his team for the fight against immortals.

Inhaling deeply, Lena mustered her last shred of strength following the abrupt dismissal by the people she once called friends. “Supergirl! I’m going with you. I’m the only one who can alter Non Nocere and I can disable it while you deal with Lex.” _And I don’t want you to go up there alone_. “Plus, you should have _some_ kind of backup just in the case the suit malfunctions. We can figure out how to deactivate the ship’s forcefield once we get there.”

Kara did not look convinced. Eve took that opportunity to approach. “Andrea and I can work on a software update for the VR lenses that counteracts the glitch Leviathan installed, just in case you can’t stop Lex in time. I’ve already contacted Kelly. We’re meeting with her at Obsidian. And I agree with Lena. In my experience, it’s best not to face Lex alone.”

Lena had never felt so grateful for Miss Teschmacher’s presence, which was probably saying something, though she couldn’t be sure. It was hard to keep track of which version of Eve had or hadn’t betrayed her. 

Lena knew an emotional appeal would likely work better (or at least more quickly) on Kara than Eve’s logic, so she turned to the blonde in one, last-ditch effort.

“Supergirl, I know you don’t fully trust me right now, and you have every right not to. I’ve done… horrible things…things that were meant to hurt you, personally. But I can’t change that now. I just know that I have to do everything I can to make it better, to help stop my brother, and to keep you safe. The world needs you, and I could never forgive myself if you got hurt because I wasn’t brave enough to fight with you.” She willed herself not to close her eyes and collapse into herself. She held her stare, gazing into Kara’s eyes to try to prove her sincerity.

“Lena,” Kara was searching her face, but it didn’t feel like an inquisition. “I trust you. You’ve proven so many times that you’re on my side. Yeah, you got a little lost there for a bit, but…” She trailed off, seemingly trying to decide for herself where their relationship stood. The tremors were getting more violent. They needed to evacuate the building, and soon. If Alex were here, she’d be warning her sister of her tendency to be too forgiving, Lena was sure of it.

“She risked her life for you today.” Andrea supplied, eyes sad. “Leviathan was blackmailing me into killing you… I…I brought a Kryptonite dagger while you were in the VR. Lena convinced me to stop, but she was ready to die.” _Or I simply knew that you’d never do it_ , Lena thought, unhelpfully.

Kara looked shocked and extremely uneasy at this revelation. The tiled floor began to crumble beneath them, heavy equipment falling and shattering. Eve grabbed Andrea and her mother and darted toward the exit.

“I don’t need you to die for me to prove that you’re good, Lena.” Kara whispered, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that they were about to be buried on the bottom floor of LuthorCorp. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’ve always fought for what you thought was right.” She sighed, making her decision. “I could really use your help stopping Lex. I didn’t want you to have to deal with him, after everything, but me trying to protect you doesn’t seem to work…You handle the tech, I’ll do the punching. Okay?” Her eyes were shining with something Lena couldn’t identify.

“Sounds good Supergirl.” Though Eve and Andrea were gone, she didn’t feel comfortable calling her Kara in the suit. Not when she hadn’t been able to say the name aloud—in any context—for months, as if uttering it would conjure something she had been trying to bury for years. A disconcerting amount of dust and rubble was now falling on their heads. “Now, can you get us out of here? I’d hate to die in this building.”

Supergirl donned her anti-Kryptonite helmet, and bent slightly to scoop her up. Before Lena could catalogue the effects of being in Kara’s arms again after so long, the hero had rocketed them out of the building and into an upward trajectory, heading straight for the massive ship looming above.


	2. ii.

It was surprisingly easy for them to break into Leviathan’s ship. Lena’s engineering background proved itself useful once again and she quickly located a weak point on the exterior. Her eyes widened as Kara plunged her fist through the hidden side door and peeled it away like loose wallpaper, still holding Lena securely in one arm. _Well then._

Once aboard, they followed a narrow hallway to what looked like a lobby, fashioned with an elevator and a control panel next to two large double doors.

“I guess we could have just taken the lift.” Lena joked, trying to draw Kara’s attention away from the wobbliness in her legs. She still hated flying, and during their ascent she had made the mistake of looking down at their comrades in battle.

Three terrifying immortal beings were wreaking havoc on the city, leaving craters in the streets and toppled buildings in their wake. Hopefully the non-combatant Superfriends and the city’s law enforcement were evacuating the area. She secretly willed for LuthorCorp to be the next skyscraper to fall. All of her most important experiments were locked away in the basement anyway, safe from destruction.

Kara’s face was hidden by the anti-Kryptonite suit, but her head was on a swivel. She was likely using her x-ray vision to try to locate Lex. Lena missed Kara Danvers’ chattiness. Supergirl was always more economical with her words, focused on whatever mission was at hand.

Just then, Lena’s brother appeared, staying a few feet inside the frame of the twin doors, without a hint of surprise on his face. She noted that he was sporting the tiny pin Brainy had described. The room behind him glowed an eerie shade of green. She sensed Kara shudder—whether from seeing her nemesis’ face or from the sickening Kryptonite hue that seeped out into the lobby area, she couldn’t be sure.

“Nice of you to join me, sis. I see you’ve brought your super pet, though I think I much prefer the other suit. And no, I don’t mean the mini skirt.” Lex eyed Kara with disdain, unwilling to let the Kryptonian out of his sight. Lena rolled her eyes. She saw Kara twitching, eager to arrest her brother, but he was too deep inside the chamber, protected by Leviathan’s forcefield.

“Having some trouble getting my tech to work for you? I can take a look at it if you ask nicely.” Lena knew it was a risk to goad him, but she had to play her part if Lex was going to let her anywhere near Myriad.

Lex drawled on, “And why exactly should I give you another chance, Lena? I know you’re somewhat taken by the happy-go-lucky ‘hope, help, and compassion for all’ bullshit that your girlfriend likes to spew, and now you show up here after pitching a fit back at the prison? Why would I let you anywhere near Non Nocere?”

It was now or never. Lena had surreptitiously withdrawn an nth metal blade from her jacket during Lex’s speech. She slashed to her right, _hard_ , and felt the material of Kara’s suit give way. The Kryptonian’s knees buckled and she collapsed onto the floor with a surprised shout. The amount of Kryptonite on board was so substantial that even the minor breach in her armour brought on waves of hurt. Lena stashed the knife.

“Because. I’m done with pretending everything is fine. That this _world_ is fine. I’m a Luthor, and you _know_ I can help with Non Nocere, but more importantly, you’re going to need someone to help you get rid of Leviathan when this is all over.” She stood defiantly, chin up, refusing to glance downward in Kara’s direction.

Lex was laughing, delighted by the turn of events. “Well done Lena. I knew you’d come crawling back to me, just in time to be useful. Drag the alien inside so she can watch us save the world from itself. Take this.” He held out a pin identical to the one on his lapel and Lena accepted it readily, using all her willpower to stop her hand from trembling. She fastened the pin firmly to one of her belt loops. She could hear Kara contorting her body and groaning through gritted teeth. She winced at the sound once Lex had turned his back, and tried to refocus on her goal.

She caught one of Kara’s flailing wrists and then the other, and pulled her slowly into the chamber, which she now realised was the control room of the ship. Lex closed off the room and delivered a hard kick to Kara’s head, knocking her helmet off on his way back to the device stationed on the centre console. Lena quickly averted her eyes, the sight of glowing green veins and tear-streaked cheeks already etched behind her eyelids. The back wall of the room was hidden by stacks of Kryptonite piled high to the ceiling, and, judging by Kara’s increasingly agitated movements, she was not immune to Leviathan’s safeguards. 

Lena made to approach Myriad and get to work on adjusting the Non Nocere protocol when Lex grabbed her roughly by the arm. “You didn’t think I would just allow you to walk in here and run the show, did you? Don’t be so naïve, Lena.” He was shaking his head with an implied “tsk tsk,” like he was berating a child for grabbing one too many cookies.

“I _knew_ the Kryptonian abomination would try to stop me—hence the Kryptonite—and I _knew_ you would find your way back to me like a kicked puppy. Always so eager to prove yourself. But I can’t just let you waltz in here without proof of your loyalty, Lena. I know you have the potential to be brilliant and you’re _usually_ rational. But your time with goldilocks has made you soft in ways Luthors aren’t meant to be.”

He was hovering in the space behind her as he baited her. Lena forced herself to maintain her cool demeanour. She knew better than to interrupt him while he was pontificating. There was nothing Lex enjoyed more than hearing himself talk about outsmarting everyone—about outsmarting _her_ , in particular. She would have to earn any scrap of praise and confidence he threw her way, just as it had been for their entire relationship.

In the corner of the room, Kara was gasping. It was unclear whether she was aware of what was being said.

“Why did the two of you come here together? Hm? Did you finally kiss and make up? Because I know you Lena, and never in your life have you forgiven a betrayal. Especially not one where _feelings_ were involved.” He smirked, pleased with his assessment, smug at having reduced her so concisely. “Show me that you’re truly done with _that_.” He pointed at Kara’s writhing form. “I want you to hurt her in the way only you can. Tell her _your_ secret, the one you’d rather torture yourself with than reveal. After all, it won’t matter what she knows when she’s dead.”

 _Fuck_. “Fine.” Lena spat out the word like it tasted terrible in her mouth. She approached Kara with arms crossed. Looking at the wall just above her incapacitated friend, she spoke, keeping the emotion out of her voice. “I watched my mother drown when I was four years old. That was the first time I stood by and did nothing as someone I was supposed to love got hurt.” Kara’s eyes fluttered to hers in acknowledgement, but she seemed unable to respond through the pain.

“Not that! Do you take me for an absolute moron?” Lex looked furious. He was standing much closer than Lena had originally thought and she jumped at his outburst. He was gesticulating wildly, pointing his finger like a weapon at Kara. “We all know you can do better. Tell her why you’re here. Tell her why you can barely stand to look at her, why her lie is what finally showed you what I’ve been trying to tell you for years: Kryptonians can’t be trusted. Go on, show me you’ve learned from your idiocy.”

Lena felt sick. At Lex’s rant and at his implications. She knew she would not be given another chance to gain his trust on this matter, and they were running out of time. She crouched down and looked directly into Kara’s face. She had pushed herself up into a half-seated position, like she was trying to stand. Her head lolled weakly against the wall.

She had to convince Lex of her confession, and in order to do that, she knew she’d have to convince Kara. She took a deep breath in and began speaking words she had never intended to say.

“I never thought I would let anyone into my life again. Not after so many lies, and betrayals. And when you forced your way in with all your smiles, and lunches, and game nights, and _warmth_ , I tried everything to keep myself from falling into another trap. Because I knew, _I knew_ , you’d eventually abandon me. And you did. You lied, Supergirl. What’s worse is the sheer hypocrisy of it all. You’re supposed to be this symbol of light and compassion. But it seems your compassion only extends so far. When I needed you _most_ , you came to my balcony and all but told me I was the villain in this story. Do you know how it feels to have the _one_ person who knows you in this world tell you they’ve given up on you? You were everything to me. And you left me with nothing.”

Lena’s eyes were watering. She hadn’t wanted to get into all of this. She had meant to open the door a crack, not to throw it wide open for Kara to see the utter disarray inside. But once she had started, she couldn’t stop the rushing tide of truth. The hero’s eyes were wide and she was trembling. Lena let her unshed tears build up, intentionally blurring her vision so she wouldn’t have to see the blonde’s sorrowful expression.

“If the Paragon of Hope, the sunniest being on this damn planet—in the fucking _universe_ —can’t see the light in me then I might as well embrace the dark. All anyone sees is another evil Luthor. I’m tired of trying to be anything else. I flew too close to the sun and I got burned. I refuse to make that mistake twice.”

She swiped at the few stray tears that had escaped down her cheeks, rising from her kneeling position. Kara’s pained, beautiful, Kryptonite-laden face would have to be filed away into the box in her subconscious labelled “Waking Nightmares.” Kara’s expression was desperate, but mostly unreadable—contorted with excruciating hurt. Lena estimated that the Kryptonite, in conjunction with the ship’s defences, left Kara with less than 30 minutes before her body would succumb to the agony. Less than 15 before her mind compensated for it and drove her mad.

She turned toward Lex, who started slow clapping. _Arrogant ass_. He swept his arm open in a welcoming gesture and Lena approached the gadget that had helped cause her so much heartbreak.

“Increase the radius of the q-waves and change the protocol on Non Nocere. We need _total_ mind control if we want to get these pitiful fools into the VR for Leviathan.” Lex instructed her calmly, as if he was teaching a child to play chess. “If you do well, I _might_ even consider allowing you immortality.”

Lena said nothing. Her throat wasn’t cooperating. She opted to smirk in response, a Luthor standard that was acceptable in just about any situation. Internally she sighed. _This better work._

~ ~ ~

As she worked on lowering Non Nocere’s safeguards and re-programming both it and Myriad, Lena kept watch of Lex out of the corner of her eye. He had approached Kara, who was curled into the foetal position facing the wall and sobbing great heaving breaths of pain. He was taunting her, discussing the fates of her loved ones in the new “utopia” he had planned. Lena thought she heard him mention her name, at which point Kara let out a frustrated growl. Her heart was racing as she finished her modifications. If all went well, her brother’s hubris would finally be his downfall.

Lex’s genius allowed him to predict others’ actions, to strategize and plan for a future so far removed from actuality that to ponder its consequences would render a human of average intelligence mad. He excelled at logic games and was inhibited by neither emotional attachment nor sentimentality. To Lex, her admission to Kara was akin to Romeo declaring his love for Juliet, despite Lena never having come close to uttering the words. (She wasn’t even sure if she was capable of doing so). To Lex, her personal connections—to her dead mother, to her stuffed bear from childhood, to her _friends_ —were silly distractions that made her less of a genius, less capable, less _Luthor_. To Lex, these weaknesses in her character made her entirely predictable and susceptible to ills that would never befall an impenetrable force such as himself. She was _less than_ , and he took every opportunity to remind her of that fact. And to try to extinguish those instincts from her being.

The one thing he could never comprehend was love—familial or otherwise. An egomaniac of his stature was likely incapable of it, Lena supposed, unless one counted his shameless obsession with Superman as a form of love (which she didn’t). She wasn’t totally convinced that _she_ understood the concept either. She’d have to investigate further, provided that her plan was successful and they didn’t all die.

“It’s ready.” The adjustments had taken her approximately seven minutes. Kara’s breath hitched as Lex left her and made his way over to the centre console.

“About time. We won’t need earpieces to protect against the q-waves this time, this ship has its advantages. It pays to befriend immortal tech gods.” Lex grinned and unsubtly shuffled Lena away from the device. He didn’t bother to conceal the glee he felt at being on the cusp of mind controlling the world. “Soon enough, we’ll have the world’s population trapped in VR and we’ll be immortal gods. Don’t worry Lena, I have a backup plan for if _and when_ Leviathan don’t hold up their end of the bargain.”

Lex flicked on the device. Immediately, he clutched his oversized head in agony and crumpled to the floor. Lena kept her eyes on her brother as pain coursed through her skull, an instant migraine. It felt like a jackhammer was working away behind her eyes, like the smallest force applied to her forehead would send her to her grave.

“WHAT THE FUCK LENA?!?! What did you do?? Increase the frequency to _kill_ everyone?” Lex screamed.

He was crouched in a pained imitation of child’s pose. Lena scrambled over to him as quickly as she could, given her own extreme discomfort, and ripped off the pin attached to his impeccable suit. The effect was immediate. Lex howled and flopped onto his back, staring at his sister with wide, perplexed eyes.

“Not quite.” She replied through gritted teeth. It was a struggle to keep both eyes open. The ship’s dim lighting and Lex’s shouting were not helping the throbbing in her temples.

“I increased the frequency, but we’ll be the only ones dying.” She held up her left hand, revealing her bloody palm from where she had sliced it open. “It’s set to target Luthor DNA. And rather than mind control, I ramped up the q-waves to vibrate at a frequency that will slowly destroy our brain cells.” She didn’t bother to mention that his death would be much quicker than her own given that she stole his only defence against the ship.

“ _Lena—_ ” Kara was gasping, trying to get her attention. The Kryptonian was staring with bleary blue eyes at the wall of Kryptonite, which was now vibrating at an alarming rate. Bricks of the green material were clinking together and falling in a disorganized heap, inching steadily closer to the otherwise impervious alien aboard. If she didn’t halt Myriad’s waves, the Kryptonite would explode, and she estimated that the sheer volume of it would result in mass radiation poisoning for large swathes of the population below. A blast of that magnitude would also kill Kara instantly.

She had planned to drag Kara out of the room, where she would be weak but strong enough to move, once the device had been activated. Lena hoped Kara would forgive her a few extra moments of suffering as she dealt with the imminent threat she had caused.

Seeing no other option, she struggled to stand against the suddenly insurmountable weight of her head, gripping the edges of the control desk to right herself. It hurt to look down, so she kept her eyes fixed on Myriad. Despite her name being Luthor, murdering Supergirl _and_ all of National City was _not_ on her agenda. _The press will have a field day with this if I fail._

Incapable of moving from his supine position, Lex let out a choked groan. His nose was bleeding, Lena noticed, and his eyes were rolling back into his splitting head. She shuddered as a particularly harsh jolt zipped across her occipital lobe. She reached out blindly toward the machine that was actively killing the room’s occupants, and flicked the switch on her third attempt. Her migraine subsided as rapidly as it had come on and she was left with a lingering headache, no worse than the ones brought on by day-to-day aggravations. Or the weather.

Lex, it appeared, had had no such luck. He was slowly coming to, but as Lena examined him from a safe distance, she calculated that the intensity of the vibrations (made exponentially worse by Leviathan’s own safeguards) had resulted in significant brain damage to her brother. This theory was confirmed as he jumped to a standing position—aggravating his already sensitive cranium. He took half a second to collect himself, shaking his head as if to rid himself of the affliction, looked at Lena and then at Kara, and then darted out of the chamber and into the elevator. It would have been comical if not for the ever-present threat of impending doom.

 _He’s an idiot_. There was nothing waiting for him down below, save for Kara’s allies, who would surely arrest him on sight. It seemed Lena had rid her brother of his one superpower—his intellect. _Let’s see him plot his way out of this reality with an average brain_.

Now migraine-free, she was able to discern the jingling of the instable Kryptonite, which had, unfortunately, not lessened when the device had been deactivated. It was going to explode, she surmised, and judging by the pulsing green ingots, it would be very soon. She had to get Kara clear of the ship and then get the ship clear of Earth. _Okay, I’ve successfully operated vessels from 1,000 years in the future, I can learn how to fly this piece of trash._

She rushed over to the corner where Kara was shaking, seemingly in time with Lena’s pulse. Their eyes connected, and Lena brushed a strand of sweat-dampened hair away from her forehead. “Let’s get you safe, away from the Kryptonite. I’ll deal with the ship, don’t worry.”

Lena attempted a comforting smile, trying to display a confidence she did not possess for Kara’s sake. She grasped the Kryptonian under the arms and dragged her out of the chamber, where she regained enough strength to express her displeasure at Lena’s plan.

“Lena…you can’t…stay…” Her words came in fits and starts, as her hands clawed at the parts of Lena’s jacket that she could reach. “You’ll die.”

Lena had brought her to the elevator, which was opening now less than a second after she had pushed its sole button. Kara was resisting, though with her extreme exhaustion and the Kryptonite still within range, Lena had no trouble overpowering her for once. She all but pushed the blonde inside.

“The Kryptonite will explode and kill you and disperse over everyone down below. There isn’t time. They need you to finish off Leviathan. I can handle this, I promise. It’s right that it’s me, after everything my brother did…that I did…” She knew this was the right thing to do. It was almost poetic, really. The world needed Supergirl more than it needed a Luthor. She just hoped Kara would understand.

Kara had been holding the elevator doors open with her leg, but Lena forced it inside. Kara had tears streaming down her face.

“Lena, I knew you were good. Even when you cut my suit open. Even when you told me you’d never forgive me. I knew it because I know _you_. You can’t do this! We’ll find another way!” She was yelling now, thrashing her de-powered limbs. “Lena—!”

But she didn’t hear the rest of Kara’s impassioned plea. Lena pressed the button, sending the Kryptonian back down to Earth, where she’d be fully restored by the sun. Kara had so much waiting for her down below. Her sister, her adoptive mother, her friends, her co-workers, the many people who needed her saving. Lena had only one person in her life, and she had just sent her away. It was time she took responsibility for her actions. She had spent too long darkening Kara’s doorstep, with her moral ambiguity and her inability to reciprocate even an iota of the kindness sent her way by the Kryptonian. It was ironic, really, that the alien sent to Earth at age 13 was more in-touch with human emotions than Lena, who had been raised by monsters, yes, but who was brought up amongst humans nonetheless.

These thoughts passed through her mind for the umpteenth time in the seconds it took Kara to descend to Earth. The well-trod territory was like a security blanket at this point. All that was left was for her to sail the cursed ship as far from Earth as possible. She should have just enough time. Resolute, she re-entered the control chamber.


	3. iii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folx, thanks for all the kind words and kudos on the first two chapters. I hope you enjoy what's to come.

The elevator ride back down to Earth felt like an eternity. Kara felt weak and disoriented. The Kryptonite was now too far out of range to affect her, but she felt rattled. The rapid sequence of events that had just unfolded in front of her had left her mind spinning and her heart aching. She _had_ to stop Lena from sacrificing herself. Kara was sick of always having to make the choice between someone she loved and the planet she had vowed to protect. The injustice of it all roiled at her. Though Lena Luthor was one of the wealthiest people on the planet, she was continually being forced to pay a higher price than could be considered fair. Kara would simply have to fly back up there, drag Lena off of Leviathan’s ship, and push the vessel into space—all before it detonated. No problem.

The doors opened after less than a minute of travel time and Kara rushed out onto the street, where she stumbled upon her sister, an injured Brainy, Kate Kane, and Lex Luthor in reinforced handcuffs next to what appeared to be a DEO medical van. Lex had clearly proven to be an easy capture. Alex was fretting over a wound on Brainy’s shoulder as the rest of the Superfriends battled Leviathan. The Flash had joined the team and was zipping around, removing civilians from the war-torn vicinity. Kate was monitoring Lex. Kara figured that Batwoman’s gadgets were likely ineffective against immortal technology gods.

Kara took in the rejuvenating effects of the sun’s setting rays with a sigh. _This is the longest day of my life_. A few moments to recharge and then she could take off toward the ship. Alex spotted her sister, just as she was discarding the damaged anti-Kryptonite suit into a suspiciously intact garbage receptacle.

“Kara! What happened? Where’s Lena?” Alex shouted from her position at the open van, wrapping Brainy’s arm.

Kara approached them, itching to get back in the air. “The ship is filled with Kryptonite; it’s going to explode any minute now.” She took a breath. Her voice was frantic, unsteady. “She’s going to try to fly it into space. I have to go back up to save her.” She realised Alex would interpret her harried speech as rashness, but the thought of losing Lena was impinging on her practiced Supergirl persona.

“What?! Kara, if you go up there you’ll die. And so will the rest of us. This… It’s the only way.” Alex looked upset but resigned to the path Lena had plotted. “I don’t like this either, she’s my friend too. But…she knew the risks going in.”

Alex placed a hand on Kara’s shoulder but the blonde shook it off, furious. She crossed her arms and looked up at the point in the sky where Lena was about to make the ultimate sacrifice. A few more seconds and she would jump off.

“There is a….3.4% chance of success in this endeavour, Supergirl. I would advise against interfering with Miss Luthor’s solution.” Brainy added slowly. Kara wanted to punch him in his dumb green face.

Turning back to her sister, she decided she didn’t have time to convince them. She knew what was right. “Alex, I’m not letting her die. I can do this,” she urged, setting her jaw. 

There was a loud crash as one of Leviathan’s number threw a bus into a glass storefront across the street, just as M’gann delivered what would be a devastating uppercut to any mortal being.

“Kara, this makes no logical sense. It’s the same as when Mon-El had to leave, okay? You have to think of the big picture—” Alex was pleading now.

“IT’S LENA, ALEX.” Kara’s eyes were wide and her fists clenched, trying to make her sister understand what she was unable to put into words. “It’s Lena. She can’t die.” Shaking her head, she spared one last look at her sister’s beseeching eyes. “I love you.” She turned, crouched down, and took off into the air at full speed, both arms outstretched in front of her.

Alex turned to Brainy and Kate, a stunned expression on her face. She was visibly shaken by the unprecedented interaction. “What the fuck is going on? I can’t believe she’s going to risk everything…This…This makes no sense.” She sat down in the van, staring at the ground in disbelief.

Brainy was reworking the calculations in his mind, trying to ascertain the odds of them surviving the forthcoming Kryptonite exposure. Kate was looking into the sky at the location where Kara was last visible, stoic as ever but grimly understanding what Alex was missing. 

“Well,” Lex chimed in, unsolicited, “it doesn’t take a _genius_ to figure it out.”

~ ~ ~

Lena was brilliant. She had earned two doctorate degrees at MIT by the age of 23 (biochemical engineering and aeronautics). She had taken over as CEO of one of the highest-ranking Fortune 500 companies at 24. She was fluent in six languages (English, French, Mandarin, Russian, Spanish, and Irish). She had an IQ well over 200 (though she found the scale to be supremely flawed), and she had defeated her brother (a grandmaster) at a game of chess when she was just four years old. She could now say she had bested him twice in her lifetime—something she was proud of, to be sure. But she would not view herself as having reached her full potential until she was successful at flying this _fucking_ spaceship filled with unstable Kryptonite out of Earth’s orbit.

She had already spent far too long (two minutes, 23 seconds) figuring out the ship’s strange and simultaneously futuristic and archaic controls. She was now reprogramming the target coordinates and slowly manoeuvring the hulking vessel to face the sun. It would explode long before it reached the star and provide a nice, green fireworks display for the unsuspecting civilians back on Earth. A St. Patrick’s Day celebration, just two months too late.

The ship was now moving along its designated path. She felt a sense of peace and solemnity wash over her. She tuned out the rattling Kryptonite behind her and thought of Kara, and how she had travelled to Earth from Krypton so many years ago. Was it frightening for her? Lonely? How long did it take for her to adjust to Earth’s customs? How did she find herself with the Danvers family? These were questions she had never known to ask. That she was never given the opportunity to inquire about. Lena felt slighted. She had been cheated out of an entire facet of Kara’s life. Her feelings felt like a farce. What did she really know about her? She knew that Kara’s favourite meal was pizza and potstickers. That she always fiddled with her glasses when she was nervous. That she hated kale and loved old-timey musicals Lena had never heard of. That she was the kindest, humblest, most forgiving person she had ever met. She regretted not being able to learn about the missing details that made up the person she had revealed the most of herself to.

Lena was staring out the vast window that spanned the width of the control room, looking out at the void into which she was about to fling herself, when a blur of red and blue splayed itself across the pane.

Lena was panic-stricken. Kara wasn’t meant to come back for her. This wasn’t part of her plan. The frenzied hero was yelling something through the glass separating them, but the sound wasn’t reaching her ears. She stared on, dumbstruck, at the Kryptonian who she had assumed would play her part and allow the Luthor to take the Kryptonite-heavy ship onto the next leg of its journey. Lena swallowed the lump rising in her throat, knowing that Kara had not given up on her this time—had maybe never truly given up on her. She didn’t know what to do with this information. It was unparalleled in her life, this level of dedication. Rather than basking in the glow Kara’s loyalty provided, Lena felt only a crippling wave of fear for the hero’s safety.

Kara was punching at the window now. One, two, three hits and the barrier between them was shattered. Lena was thrust toward the opening in the glass from the force of the vacuum, and Kara reached in to pull her out and into strong arms.

“Okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you. Hold on tight.” Supergirl hooked Lena’s arms around her neck and she clung onto her front like a bewildered koala. As Kara floated them downward, she chanced a look back at the ship that was carrying on with the course she had set. Supergirl’s interference had delayed its progress by several seconds. She feared it would explode before it had breached the ozone, which would provide a protective layer against the unavoidable rain of Kryptonite.

“Supergirl, you need to push the ship into space, it’s about to explode!” Lena shouted over the wind whipping around them. She was trying to gather her hair with one hand to keep it out of Kara’s line of sight. _Why did I choose today of all days to forgo the bun!?_ Her bloodied hand stayed strong in its hold on the clasp of Supergirl’s suit where cape met shoulder.

Kara brought them to hover under the ship. Acting quickly, she raised both arms above her head and exerted all the force in her body to thrust it upward into its pre-set trajectory. The strength of Kara’s push helped the vessel up, up, and away from Earth. It burst seconds later, just outside the ozone layer. The sheer intensity of the detonation sent a pulsing wave of air toward the floating pair, followed closely by a deafening boom. The surge caused Lena to lose her tenuous grip on Kara, who was looking up at the wreck of Leviathan’s ship, fragments of which were falling harmlessly.

Lena plunged toward the Earth, tumbling midair. The sun was harsh on her tired retinas, as it set slowly over the shifting horizon. The last blinking rays taunted her, signalling a pathetic fallacy she was too exhausted to unpack. She shut her eyes. There was no point in calculating how much time she had before impact. She had already outlasted her previous estimates of survival and the fall was making her dizzy.

Kara caught her. Lena didn’t know why she was still surprised by this, but she was. She felt Supergirl’s arms give a bit to cushion the catch as she was gathered into a bridal carry. There was plenty of leeway between her and the ground; the hero had easily caught up, with gravity and a renewed sense of hope on her side. Lena kept her eyes shut as the hero lowered them smoothly and slowly to the ground. 

Lena wasn’t sure if she was capable of supporting herself on her own two feet at this point. She had faced near-certain death three times in the past half hour alone, and the emotional toll was enough to make her want to curl up into a ball and stay that way indefinitely. Luckily, Kara seemed to sense her shakiness and unhurriedly walked her over to the DEO van. They were halfway there before Lena opened her eyes, though her grip around Kara’s neck had not loosened since their landing. She looked into Kara’s face and was prepared to tell her off. To list the reasons why she shouldn’t have come to her rescue. But, as if sensing her gaze, Kara looked down to meet Lena’s eyes with her own. Her expression made Lena stop short.

“Thank you, Kara.” Lena whispered as she was lowered into the back of the open van. She uttered the name with reverence, as if she had just discovered the missing fragment of a 1,000-piece jigsaw she had abandoned years ago.

Batwoman was nearby, helping Kelly, who was wielding Guardian’s shield above her head to protect from falling debris. They were shuttling stragglers out of an otherwise deserted deli. Lex, Lena noted, was sat with his arms and legs tied in the second row of the van. He had a crude, makeshift gag in his mouth. _Still an annoying prick even without his genius then._

Kara said nothing, but was looking at Lena with watery eyes. She had cupped her face in her hands and looked like she was about to sob from relief. The hero let one hand trail down her arm to her injured palm. She gently cradled the hand with both of her own, staring at the wound. Lena could tell she was trying to gather her thoughts.

“Alex will fix you up once we finish off Leviathan.” Kara finally said. “Just stay here, please? No more trying to martyr yourself, okay?” Her voice was watery as she laughed at her own non-joke. “This is the part I know how to handle.” Kara looked behind her at the battle that was still ongoing. Brainy and Alex had rejoined the fight, but Leviathan had evidently proven too powerful for the former to recapture thus far. Kara turned back to Lena, gave her a reassuring smile followed by a longer-than-normal kiss on the forehead, before speeding off to join the fray.

The spot where Kara’s lips had been tingled pleasantly, and warmth trickled down her body like she had just been bestowed a magical balm for her nerves. She felt tingly but mostly numb, like she hadn’t just cheated death three times, like she herself was unreal. 

Kelly and Batwoman strolled back toward the van, bearing coffees from the deli, and offered Lena a cup.

“We saw you two touch down. Thought this might give you a boost.” Batwoman said with her eyes on the fight. Lena hadn’t noticed she was shivering until she sipped the scalding drink.

Kelly offered a warm smile, and draped a blanket over her shoulders. “Almost there. With Supergirl in the fight it should be over quick.”

Kelly was trying not to look directly at the battle, she noticed, but couldn’t help periodically dragging her eyes over the general area where Alex was crouched behind an upended vehicle, firing shots off occasionally with a sleek weapon Lena didn’t recognise. She shifted her own eyes to Supergirl, who had just landed an impressive kick to the jaw of one of Leviathan’s combatants, dismounting in an elegant back flip. At least the primary recipient of _her_ worry was literally indestructible. She couldn’t fathom the anxiety Kelly was feeling, and felt the sudden need to grasp the other woman’s hand in solidarity. And so she did, surprising herself—and Kelly—with the action. 

The sun had fully set now and the night was pitch black. The lampposts and surrounding buildings had all been taken out by the conflict. Only Dreamer’s blue coils of psychic energy, Kara’s sporadic beams of heat vision, the orange trails left by the Flash’s kinetic motion, and the telekinetic powers of Leviathan’s cronies were left to illuminate the struggle. It looked like what Lena imagined video games looked like, with bursts of bright colours and standard noises of physical exertion. Though she couldn’t be sure. She was never allowed to play them as a child.

Craning her neck to scan the area, Lena noticed LuthorCorp had been all but razed to the ground. She smiled to herself, _how fitting_.

It was Kelly who first saw Alex limping toward them, and who rushed out to help her girlfriend to the medical van. The two embraced once Alex was sat safely next to Lena, and she turned her head to give them a modicum of privacy.

“It’s just a sprained ankle, but I’m useless out there now.” Alex admitted. Lena then felt an arm drape across her shoulders. Alex pulled her into an awkward side hug that was nonetheless a welcome gesture.

“You’re kind of crazy Luthor, you know that? How are you doing?” The elder Danvers was looking her up and down, grabbing behind them for a medical bag upon seeing the gash on her palm. “That was some pretty heroic stuff up there. How does it feel to have officially taken out the prickliest thorn in your side?” She flicked her head toward Lex, who was watching the battle, mum with childlike fascination.

Lena watched as Alex cleaned her wound and wrapped it with gauze. She could have done this herself, she realised, but her mind had gone blank at Kara’s instructions to stay put and wait for Alex’s care. She must have been more shocked by recent events than she had previously thought. Slightly uncomfortable with the admiration stemming from Alex’s tone, she deflected. “Kara’s the one who did the saving…And don’t forget, there’s still one Luthor left unaccounted for…She wears pastels now, though, so I doubt she’ll pose a major threat.”

Alex looked at her blankly, before breaking into a grin. “Was that a joke?” She chuckled as Kelly helped her to elevate her swollen ankle. “I’m serious though Lena, I’m proud of you. We’d all be dead a thousand times over if we didn’t have you on our side.” And Lena could tell by the look on her face that Alex was being sincere, extending an olive branch of sorts. She nodded in gratitude, struggling to keep her lip from quavering at the unexpected display of kindness.

Kelly rejoined them and perched herself next to Alex. The couple’s hands were clasped, and the trio resumed their vigil. Batwoman was pacing around the area, clearly frustrated by her inability to help in the fight that had now been dragging on for hours.

“Where is Superman?” Lena asked suddenly, his absence having just occurred to her as Supergirl executed a powerful clap, knocking the gods off their feet.

“He’s off-world.” Alex replied tersely. She made a mental note to ask Kara about the animosity she sensed in her sister’s voice at the mention of her cousin.

Lena turned back to the fight just in time to witness J’onn and M’gann rally one of the assailants who was disoriented after the clap. Dreamer had her psychic coils wrapped around a second, and Supergirl was fist fighting Rama Khan. The two had seemingly foregone their other powers in favour of simply pummelling each other. The woman Lena knew as Gemma was off to the side, supervising the rest of Leviathan, and visibly weak.

“Since Brainy doesn’t have access to the ship’s technology anymore, he needs them to be fully exhausted before he can force them back into the bottle.” Alex explained, shrugging. “It’s all a bit over my head, but I trust him.”

Supergirl had Rama Khan tangled in her cape now. She pulled it toward her at the same time as she landed a mighty jab with the opposite hand. The coordinated move produced an overwhelming blow, stunning the immortal into temporary submission. “Now, Brainy!” Supergirl yelled, her foot an anchor on Rama Khan’s heaving chest.

There was a blinding flash of white light and then it was over. Lena had blinked and the immortal demons that had haunted their planet since before Crisis had vanished, squeezed into a glass bottle.

The Superfriends were traipsing wearily over to the DEO van, eyeing it as an unspoken rallying point. Brainy had the bottle clutched in his elbow in a secure football hold. His other arm was wrapped around Nia’s shoulders. The Martians arrived first. J’onn hugged Alex from her seated position, smiling at her, and then, surprisingly, offered an even bigger smile to Lena. Behind them all was the person Lena ached to see most. Kara was surveying the damage left behind and had stopped to thank Batwoman for her assistance. The two had shaken hands and kept them clasped as they spoke. Lena felt an uncomfortable twinge at the sight.

Appearing as if out of nowhere, William, the reporter Eve had shot, jogged over to the group, his bloodied shirt now covering a hasty bandage over the bullet wound. He looked exhilarated. “William Dey, I’m a reporter with CatCo.” He took a moment to gather his breath. “I’ve been following this story for ages with Kara Danvers. I would love it if I could get a quote from any of you. This piece aims to expose Leviathan and Lex Luthor.”

He turned to Lena, just now recognizing her amidst the superheroes in tights. “Miss Luthor! It would be an honour to get your perspective on the matter, and I would love to hear about the role you played in taking down your brother.”

Lena had no patience to deal with William Dey at the moment. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained. She had to draw on her reserves to mount her usual edge as a shield against this interloper.

“Unfortunately, Mr. …Dey, was it? I only give interviews to Miss Danvers. Everyone at CatCo knows that.” She replied curtly. “In fact, Kara was just here gathering quotes for her own piece. I suggest you hold off on writing until you see what she has planned. From the sounds of it, she’ll likely have another Pulitzer coming her way.”

Her tone brokered no room for argument. But she gave the reporter some credit, he took his dismissal well and left the group after a quick “thank you.” His lingering glances at Supergirl did not go unnoticed.

And what, exactly, were Supergirl and Batwoman discussing that could be taking so long? Lena felt irrational jealousy. She had no insight into their relationship. She had no right to Kara’s time. And yet she wanted to be near the Kryptonian and she wanted it now. As if sensing her need, Kara left the other woman and approached Lena, who was now standing amongst the celebrating heroes. She was getting clapped on the back and congratulated like they were a football squad that had just won the homecoming game. Someone had found a bottle of champagne in one of the empty restaurants lining the street. It was, frankly, all too much.

“Hey.” Kara said softly, as Lena startled slightly at the sound of the cork being popped. The blonde placed a placating hand on her lower back, guiding her to move closer.

The hero was inspecting her hand with a tenderness that belied the vicious strength with which Lena had just watched her dispatch of a literal immortal god. But Kara had always been gentle with her. She had never squeezed her too hard during a hug, or crushed her hand when she grabbed it in fear during movie night (on the rare occasion that she allowed Lena to choose a “scary” film). Kara Danvers had always been strong for her too, in ways that Supergirl hadn’t. She’d provided a shoulder to cry on, an understanding ear for Lena’s many complaints about her cruel mother and murderous brother, a hot lunch for when she forgot to feed herself. She was always just _there_. _Until she wasn’t_.

She couldn’t deal with this right now, not when Kara was staring at her, seeing through her as if with x-ray vision, which, Lena knew now, was something she could actually do. She stopped denying herself what she craved and buried her face in Kara’s neck, wrapping her arms around the slightly taller woman. Kara reciprocated immediately, stroking a hand up and down Lena’s spine, and she felt safe for the first time in months. She had missed _this_ , most of all. 

After a few moments, she was horrified to realise that she was crying, the tears wetting the ends of the Kryptonian’s somehow-still-flawless-hair and neck. And so, Lena did the only thing she knew how to do to counteract a moment of extreme vulnerability: She ruined it. “Your boyfriend was here looking for you.” She rasped, wincing at her own stupidity.

“Hmm?” Kara’s voice sounded dazed, like she had actually left Earth’s atmosphere along with Leviathan’s ship.

“William. He was here. I told him not to write anything, that you’d be covering any story here.” They hadn’t moved from their position in each other’s arms, but Lena furrowed her brow more deeply as she spoke. Her lips were grazing Kara’s skin with each word and she was ultra-aware of their dryness. Why was she talking, anyway? None of this mattered right now.

“Oh. That’s good, I guess. It’ll be so satisfying to expose Lex. William’s… not my boyfriend though…We went on one date. I barely remember it to be honest. I think I beat him at pool?”

“Oh. Okay.” Lena nodded, dumbly. Pulling back to stare at Kara’s face, she noted the hero looked a bit puzzled by the line of inquiry but amused nonetheless. Distantly, she heard the others talking about meeting up at some place called The Tower and bidding adieu to Flash and Batwoman, who probably had their own fires to put out. She’d have to learn their true identities from Kara later. She felt foolish using their “hero” names, even if only internally.

“C’mon. We all need to rest. We can talk more later.” And Kara reached down to grasp Lena’s uninjured hand in her own, leading her back toward their friends, who were packing up the van and looking at the pair with undisguised interest.

_Our friends_. Lena noticed belatedly that she had recategorized the group in her mind. These people, who months ago she had struck out against and viciously disowned, were willing to accept her into their fold once again, it seemed. She looked back up at Kara, who was grinning at her sister and Kelly as they parted from a chaste kiss. She wondered briefly why the Danvers sisters weren’t sharing one of the patented hugs that she had so often witnessed and envied. Her hand must have gone lax at her moment of insecurity, because Kara gave it a squeeze, pairing the gesture with a dazzling smile, like a sommelière expertly complementing dinner with a fine wine.

For the thousandth time that day her eyes misted over, acknowledging that the two weren’t hugging due to Kara’s unwillingness to let go of her hand. She looked up at Kara’s face, which was barely visible in the dark of night, and felt at ease. Whatever secrets Kara had left to reveal, she’d look forward to unravelling over time. For now, she just wanted to sleep.


	4. iv.

Lena had drifted off on the flight over. It was well past midnight and, knowing her sleeping habits, she likely hadn’t gotten any rest in at least 36 hours. Kara carefully laid her down on the cot J’onn kept in one of the tiny rooms just off of the main area of The Tower, and draped her cape over her fatigued friend. She tucked an errant strand of silky hair behind a bestudded ear before quietly leaving the spartan space, leaving the door ajar to allow some light in case Lena awoke and was disoriented.

She ducked into the small changeroom that Alex had petitioned for and exchanged her supersuit for her comfiest yoga pants, a black hoodie, and trainers. Tying her hair into low ponytail, she followed the corridor to rejoin J’onn, M’gann, Alex, and Kelly, who were debriefing. From what Kara could hear, “debriefing” entailed reliving their finest moments in the fight, pondering Leviathan’s fate, and making wagers on the length of Lex Luthor’s inevitable sentence. Because the gang was now fully disconnected from the government, there were no pesky reports to fill out or post-op protocols to perform. They had simply relinquished Lex to the NCPD and made their way back to J’onn’s for what would become a new tradition: Debrief & Drinks.

Nia and Brainy had left for Nia’s apartment shortly after arriving, citing a much-needed conversation about the state of their relationship. Kara couldn’t blame them, really. She would be having a similar discussion right now if it weren’t for the fact that Lena had been fully wiped out by her day’s worth of valiant acts.

Kara was still in disbelief over the lengths Lena had gone to in an effort to save the world, to save _her_. It made her question her own value as a hero. It made her sick with worry about her sense of self-worth, about her apparent readiness to die. Most of all, it made her heart thump with pride and her chest ache with a yearning to show Lena just how much her words and actions meant to her, how much _she_ meant to her. 

Kara was ready to march up to Alex, to James, to anyone who had doubted the youngest Luthor’s motives, and reward their years-long skepticism with a wholly warranted “I told you so!” But she didn’t have to. Lena’s actions spoke for themselves. No matter. Kara would be her personal cheerleader anyway. She no longer had the skirt, but she would make sure Lena felt her support. She feared the younger woman needed it more than she let on.

“And here’s the woman of the hour! Or, well, one of them.” Alex had somehow already managed to crush two beers and was now sipping at her standard scotch. Kelly was looking on fondly with a classy glass of red.

She smiled, bashful. “Slow down, Alex! We won as a team and we should celebrate as a team!” The group was settled around a sizable table and Kara took a seat across from her sister and Kelly, next to M’gann, who slid a colourful cocktail in front of her.

“It’s Tamaranean tequila, orange liqueur and a splash of lime. I think humans call it a ‘margarita’? It’s a bit sweet for my tastes, but I think you’ll love it.”

Kara took a sip and was delighted. She didn’t care for the majority of the alcohol she had tried on Earth, but this was sugary and delicious. “Thanks, M’gann. And thanks for all your help with, well, everything. Will you be staying long this time?” J’onn’s attention was piqued at her question, his head tilting toward the pair.

Kara hoped the White Martian would consider staying on Earth, if only so J’onn could have someone from his home planet to commiserate with. Kara understood all too well the isolation that came from being one of the last surviving members of a dead world. Sometimes it felt like she truly _was_ the last, what with Kal-El off-world so often and the tiny population of Argo so distant and unworried by Earth’s plights.

M’gann seemed to be reluctant to answer, but eventually she replied. “I’ll be around for a bit to help rebuild the city, but sadly I can’t stay. Mars is still undergoing many changes, and, as one of the faces of the unity movement, it would be irresponsible of me to leave indefinitely. Besides, I promised I’d be back once the threat here was gone.”

J’onn looked on with quiet admiration as M’gann spoke. Kara knew he understood and appreciated her sense of honour and duty. She just wished things were different.

“Well, then we had better celebrate together while we can.” J’onn spoke reassuringly, and raised his glass. The group all leaned in to clink their various concoctions together over the centre of the table.

They chatted idly over a stack of pizzas for another hour or so before M’gann excused herself. She had promised Al she would stop by the alien bar in the morning. Kelly was yawning widely, but opted to rest against her girlfriend’s shoulder rather than take off. It was clear Alex wanted to stay; Kara had noticed her looking her way with apprehension. There was something on her mind.

“So…what’s bothering you?” Kara asked pointedly, eager to get whatever _this_ was over with.

“What you did today…that was unbelievably stupid, Kara. Even for you.” Alex was looking straight at her, suddenly sober despite having downed a second scotch. Kelly looked uncomfortable, but had her hand resting on Alex’s forearm in support. J’onn’s eyes were flitting back and forth between the two sisters from his seat at the head of the table.

“Excuse me? What I did was help save the world.” She didn’t understand where this was coming from. Why couldn’t Alex just be happy that no one had gotten seriously injured? That Lex was going behind bars and wouldn’t be able to weasel his way out? That Lena was back where she belonged, on their side?

“You knowingly put your life at risk, and in doing so, you put the entire city at risk.” Alex was angry but had tears in her eyes, and Kara had trouble meeting her gaze. “I had to watch my sister _voluntarily_ fly herself into a Kryptonite bomb. It was like you didn’t even consider the consequences.”

“Of course I considered them, Alex.” Kara offered softly. “I knew what would happen if I failed and what would happen if I succeeded. I just…I couldn’t not _try_. I tried picturing a world where I just let her die and I don’t think I’d be able to…I couldn’t…”

She trailed off, grimacing at her own ineloquence. Sometimes in moments of extreme emotion her English failed her. But she was the only person fluent in Kryptonese on Earth, so she’d have to make do. Seeking comfort, she honed in on Lena’s steady, resting heartbeat. She didn’t die. She was alive and breathing in the next room. Because Kara saved her. That’s all that mattered.

“I think that was the most selfish thing you’ve ever done.” The look on Alex’s face was similar to the one she had worn when she had first interacted with Supergirl after having her memory wiped: Uncomprehending, wary, disappointed. “You gambled with all of our lives, Kara.” Her voice was wavering, and Kelly gripped her arm more tightly. Kara wished the therapist would jump in and help mediate this sudden conflict. But it seemed Kelly was willing to let it go on a bit longer.

Kara was silent. She couldn’t explain her actions, and having Alex lay out the reality of her choices was a painful wake up call.

“Just…” Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Just promise me you won’t do that again. The world needs Supergirl. And I need my sister.”

A tear had escaped down Alex’s cheek as she spoke. As she impatiently wiped it away, Kara reached across the table to grasp her available hand.

“I’ll do better Alex. I just… I can’t explain why, but… I just know that if Lena had died, I wouldn’t be Supergirl anymore. I…I don’t even know how I would go on being your sister. It wouldn’t be the same. _I_ wouldn’t be the same.”

Alex’s eyebrows were quirked in a way that reminded Kara of when she was on the brink of figuring out how to take down a particularly nasty alien.

“You’re stronger than you think, Kara. Remember how you handled things after you sent Mon-El away? It took a while, but you got back to yourself eventually.”

“I wish you would stop comparing them, Alex.” Kara couldn’t believe she had to explain this. She was starting to lose her patience. “I knew I could survive without him, and sending him away was the right thing to do. Lena deserves to _live_ , and to be _happy_ for once!” She could feel herself getting emotional but she pushed on. “I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything in my power to make that happen.”

Alex’s eyes had gradually widened throughout her short speech. Kara took that as a sign that something she had said had finally gotten through to her. Something about the juxtaposition of her best friend and her ex-boyfriend nagged at her, but she would settle for Alex dropping the subject.

“I think that’s enough talk for tonight.” Kelly stood up, making the call for the entire group. “I’ll get us a Lyft, babe. I don’t think we should take the bike with your ankle.”

“Was that 50 minutes already?” Kara joked, weakly. She didn’t want to leave things with her sister on such an uncertain note, but she _was_ exhausted.

“If you’ve been going to secret therapy, you need a new shrink Kara, because you’re still a mess.” Alex sniped, shrugging on her jacket. Though she knew her sister was aiming for levity, Kara’s mood dipped at her words.

“Bring it in before you all leave me.” J’onn had moved to the door and was waiting with his arms outstretched. Kara and Alex clambered into a group hug with their father figure, and Kelly joined in belatedly, slotting her shoulder underneath Alex’s arm. Kara had closed her eyes, and missed the knowing look J’onn shared with Alex.

As the quartet disentangled themselves, Alex stumbled and knocked over a coat rack by the entry. The resulting noise was minimal, but the ensuing curses by the redhead, who was feeling the effects of exhaustion, alcohol and a throbbing ankle, were loud. Kara noticed Lena’s heartbeat pick up from the other room. She hadn’t even realised she was subconsciously listening for it, the rhythmic pulse providing a soothing soundtrack to the uncomfortable conversation. 

Kelly wrangled Alex out the door, throwing an apologetic glance at J’onn. “You staying here tonight, Kara?” She didn’t know why, but there was a hint of a smirk on Kelly’s lips.

“Yeah, yeah.” She replied distractedly, itching to get to Lena. “I’m too tired to fly. I think I’ll just crash on the other cot next to Lena, if that’s okay J’onn?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be sure to make extra pancakes for breakfast. I know you eat like every meal is a bottomless breadsticks situation.” J’onn grinned.

“I’m actually banned from every Olive Garden in California,” she admitted sheepishly, one arm scratching at the back of her neck. “So much for being family! It’s a good thing I have you guys.” Kara gave him a toothy smile, feeling lighter at the mention of food and at the knowledge that she wouldn’t have to fight a deadly foe tomorrow…probably.

She bid her friends good night, threw some water on her face, brushed her teeth with the spare toothbrush J’onn had rustled up, and crept quietly into Lena’s room.

The younger woman had turned on the lamp on the makeshift bedside table next to her. She was sitting up on the cot, clutching Supergirl’s cape like a security blanket. The deep red material threatened to swallow her whole. Her hair was the most unkempt Kara had ever seen it. Her makeup was smudged to all hell. It hadn’t stood a chance against the onslaught of tears, sleep, and, currently, Lena’s own hands, which were rubbing at unfocused eyes.

Kara shut the door behind herself, and Lena looked up, finally noticing her. Their eyes met, Lena somehow softening even further in her presence, and Kara took in the complexity of the brunette’s green-blue-grey irises shining against the smoky black ring around them. She looked like a clever, adorable, tiny raccoon.

_Oh._

A nerve ending fired somewhere in her brain and something righted itself. She suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe. She had been imagining spending hours untangling the knots in Lena’s hair and now the night’s events made sense. Their every interaction since their first meeting was replaying in her mind as if drawn out in a flip book. She wanted to pause the movie, to contemplate, but the images were rushing forward to a conclusion that seemed unavoidable—predictable, even.

_Oh. Wow._

When she still hadn’t moved from her position at the door, Lena gave her a tentative smile, eyes searching, questioning. She inhaled shakily and approached slowly. She hadn’t prepared for _this_ conversation. Her blood was pumping loudly in her ears.

 _I’m in love with Lena_.

_I’m in love with Lena, and I have been for a while._

_I’ve been in love with Lena for a while, and_ no one thought to tell me?!

~ ~ ~

Kara’s staring had started to make her uncomfortable. She was nearing now, walking as if approaching a wild animal. This was the first time she had seen Kara dressed in regular clothes but _sans_ glasses. _The perks of knowing Supergirl’s secret identity_. She wondered, not for the first time, what Kara was like back on Krypton, when she hadn’t had to hide any part of herself. Where she could just _be_.

“What’s your name?” Lena asked before she could stop herself. It was her first opportunity to do so since discovering Kara was Supergirl. Or, at least, her first opportunity that wasn’t clouded by heartbreak and rage.

Kara looked confused as she sat down on the cot next to her. “Lena? It’s me, Kara. Did you hit your head?” Concern was etched across the Kryptonian’s features as she smoothed some of Lena’s hair away from her forehead.

“I meant what’s your _real_ name? The name you went by on Krypton.” She was blushing now at her question, all too aware that the alien beside her could easily detect the heat rushing to her cheeks, even in the dim lighting. _Oh god, what else is she aware of_?

Despite that mortifying thought, Lena found herself leaning into Kara’s touch. She had always curled toward her, like a sunflower trying to soak up as much light as possible.

“Oh, thank Rao.” _Rao??_ “I’m still Kara. Kara Zor-El.” She was speaking softly, matching her volume to the weak lighting in the space.

“That’s a beautiful name.” She wanted to ask Kara to hold her, but she didn’t know how. Over the course of their friendship the blonde usually just did it, especially when Lena was feeling sad, or shy, or self-pitying, or tired. But were they even friends now? She didn’t want to make things more awkward than they already were.

“So, Miss Luthor, how does it feel to be National City’s biggest hero?” Kara was holding out her fist like a tape recorder, giving Lena a goofy smile, eyes twinkling. “Would it be alright if I asked you a few questions? I’m working on an article about your brother’s demise and having such a credible and _beautiful_ inside source such as yourself would _really_ go a long way.” She was batting her lashes exaggeratedly and tilting her head, getting into Lena’s space. _She’s such a dork._

“Well, if I’m calling you Kara.” She smirked and let her eyes drift down to Kara’s lips, mimicking her flirtation. This felt like familiar territory and she found herself relaxing into their usual banter.

“Lena it is.” Kara was showing off her widest grin, the one that was so big it turned her eyes into crescent moons and forced her nose to crunch up—the one Lena had internally dubbed her “scrunchy smile.” Her favourite smile. 

She was relieved that Kara had picked up on the thread, recalling their very first interview, but she didn’t know where to go from here. Did Kara even hear her confession on Leviathan’s ship? Did she understand what was left unsaid? Maybe this was her way of suggesting they try to start over and do a soft reboot of their friendship? The thought made her cringe, but she’d settle for Kara as a friend. That was better than no Kara at all. She decided to go with honesty.

“I’m no hero, Kara. Everything I accomplished today simply evened the score. This was the least I could do to atone for my family’s actions, for _my_ actions. You know better than anyone what I’m capable of. And besides, no one wants to see a Luthor as the hero of your story.” She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice and failed. 

Lena had assumed Kara would take her statement as a matter of fact. But the Kryptonian was frowning and she didn’t like it. She had inadvertently decimated the joke-y atmosphere in one fell swoop.

“Lena, you’re not responsible for your family’s actions. What Lex does shouldn’t be a reflection on you.” She was shaking her head slightly, debating something, it seemed. “I’m sorry I made you doubt that, but I truly believe it. And there’s no ‘score.’ At least, I’m not keeping score. You saved me and everyone else today, and that…that was truly heroic.”

“Kara, if you knew all the awful things I’ve thought and done you wouldn’t be looking at me like a saviour, you’d be having me committed.”

“We’ve all had terrible thoughts. Done bad things. All that matters is what you do today, and going forward. You woke up this morning, uh, _yesterday_ morning and made the choice to do good. You made the choice to forgive me. You _are_ a hero Lena Luthor. It’s just a fact.”

Kara was grasping her hands and stubbornly refusing to hear what Lena was trying to tell her. She had to warn this pure-hearted Kryptonian who, for some reason, was unable to see the poison leaking out of Lena’s soul. Sure, she did the right thing today, but she didn’t trust herself to keep her streak alive. She wasn’t like Supergirl. She didn’t just _know_ , intuitively, the right thing to do in any given situation. She struggled constantly. She had lucked out when she befriended Kara, but apparently kindness and compassion didn’t just get absorbed through proximity.

“You don’t understand, Kara. I…I was performing tests with the Harun-El, human trials. His name was Adam…I knew the risk was high, but I carried on anyway. I thought what I was doing was for the good of humanity, but instead of curing cancer I…I killed a man. And what kind of _hero_ murders their own brother? I know he’s a monster, Kara, but he’s also the only person who showed me any sympathy as a child. The fact that I could just turn around and shoot him proves that I’m just not…good. Supergirl would _never_ take someone’s life, not when an alternative exists. And don’t get me started on everything I did to _you_ …at the Fortress…lying to you…”

Kara let her ramble but she didn’t seem to be taking in what Lena was revealing. She’d listed her worst deeds. Short of tattooing a hazard label on her own forehead, she was at a loss for what to say to convince Kara that, given the overwhelming pile of growing evidence, she was decidedly _not_ worth the endorsement she was so intent on offering her.

“Did you ever hear about the time I was exposed to Red Kryptonite?” Lena was taken aback by the non sequitur. She shook her head, ready to hear a previously concealed anecdote from Kara’s life.

“It’s a form of Kryptonite that removes all inhibitions. It made my deepest, darkest thoughts come out without my consent. I said truly awful things to my sister. I still don’t know how she forgave me. It also made me violent. I hurt so many people, Lena. I even threw Cat Grant off the roof of CatCo.”

Lena was shocked. She didn’t know what to say, so she squeezed Kara’s hands; the memory was clearly still raw.

“The things I said and did, I couldn’t blame it all on the Red K. It came from inside me, a part that I had buried deep. Those things I had actively chosen to ignore, to keep at bay, the Red K made me reveal them, to act on them. But they’re still there. I just choose to be better than them. When I’m Supergirl, I have to really look inside to figure out what’s right. And, luckily, I have great friends who help me with that. Because if I make even one mistake, it could mean ending someone’s world. I’ve messed up more times than I can count, but I have to go back out and keep trying, because people need me.”

“You were essentially under the influence of mind-altering drugs, Kara. I did all my evilest deeds totally sober and clear-minded. Sure, I reacted to your secret with all the grace of a jilted lover, but my overactive emotions are no excuse. I’m sorry you went through that. But it’s just not the same. I’m not worth it.” She appreciated Kara’s efforts to relate to her, but her internal struggles only made her more attractive and noble. Conversely, Lena’s own demons made her damaged and unstable. She wished she had the Kryptonian’s resilience.

Kara was looking at her with sad eyes. “You really don’t see how amazing you are, do you? I don’t know how to convince you that you’re worth it, Lena, but I _will_ prove it to you eventually. I meant it when I said I’d always fight for you.” At that, Kara wrapped her up in her arms and pressed her nose into tangled hair. It was jarring, for Lena, to be on the receiving end of such undeserved kindness. It had been too long since she’d been among friends, and Kara’s friendship was like normal friendship made _super_. 

Though their chat had put her on edge, she felt immediately sleepy once she was in Kara’s embrace. The Kryptonian radiated warmth out of her pores and the restrained strength of her arms was extremely comforting. Kara had adjusted the two of them so her back was against the wall and Lena was bracketed by her bent legs, an ear to her heart.

“Kara.” Lena was whispering now, afraid to break the spell and cause the blonde to vacate her cot in favour of the one across the room.

“Yeah?” The word was breathed across her cheek, and Lena shivered at the pleasant sensation of closeness. Kara’s hold tightened by just a fraction.

“No more secrets. Can we agree to just be totally honest from now on?” She tilted her head up from its position on Kara’s chest to peer into her eyes.

Kara nodded. “I would love that. Lena, I hope you know that the Supergirl thing…It was the only thing I’ve ever kept from you. I know it’s a big secret—a huge secret, actually—and it’ll take a while to fill you in on everything I’ve-”

Lena turned in Kara’s arms and cut her off with a finger to her lips. “I’ve already forgiven you for that, darling. We don’t need to do an autopsy. But I _would_ love to hear about Krypton, when you’re ready, and when we’re not both about to pass out from sheer exhaustion.” Kara pressed a kiss to the finger that lingered at her mouth, and tilted their bodies sideways until they fell together onto the cot, face to face on the pillow.

Lena wasn’t sure how long they stayed awake, staring at each other in the dim light of the crappy bedside lamp. Her eyes, despite their soreness, were greedily drinking in as much of Kara’s face as they could. She wasn’t sure when she’d get the opportunity to be this close, at this angle, again. She felt like she was staring directly into the sun. 


	5. v.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! We're finally wrapping up the mess the show left us with in this chapter and moving forward. 
> 
> I've decided to highlight some songs from the playlist I made so have a listen if you're feeling it.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dRTWY9t5GU 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=eO58ExFgRBKleG3YvOYcDg

They both slept in, waking around eleven to the aroma of pancakes and bacon. The pleasant smell woke Kara first. The ensuing rumbling coming from the Kryptonian’s stomach is what woke Lena, who was trying to untangle her legs from the blonde’s. The pair had drifted together in the night, but Lena was spared the embarrassment of having to explain the placement of her hand over her bedmate’s stomach by Kara springing up at the promise of food.

“Yes! J’onn is the _best_ cook! C’mon Lena, let’s eat!”

Lena cleared her throat. She appreciated Kara’s enthusiasm but she _really_ needed a moment to collect herself, and maybe change her clothes and brush her hair.

“Is there anywhere I can freshen up a bit first, Kara? I’ve been wearing this outfit for…far too long.” She could feel where her bra was digging into her spine and her jeans felt more restrictive than usual. Without the post-apocalyptic haze, she was extremely uncomfortable and slightly dismayed at having Kara see her in such a state of disarray.

“Oh! Of course! Sorry, Lena.” The alien looked slightly abashed at her momentary lapse in understanding of human needs. “The bathroom’s just down the hall. And I can lend you some of the spare clothes I keep here.” She supersped off and came back with an armful of supplies, including a pair of trackpants and a well-worn raglan.

Lena gratefully accepted the pile, and locked herself in the bathroom for a cleansing shower. She didn’t spend too long, not wanting the food to get cold, but it took quite a few minutes and a healthy glob of conditioner to even attempt to tackle the knots in her hair. She ceded victory in the end, opting for a messy bun, and emerged from the now-steamy bathroom feeling refreshed and starved.

She padded into the kitchen, following the potent smell of bacon, and found Kara preparing what must have been her third plate of pancakes. Lena noticed a dish had been set aside for her, filled mostly with fruit, alongside several slices of bacon and five pancakes.

“Thank you, J’onn, for preparing all this. It looks fantastic.” She slid in across from the Martian at the table, as Kara took the seat next to her. “Kara, you know I won’t be able to eat all this.” 

“You need extra fuel today, Lena, to compensate for all the calories you burned saving the world!” Kara poked her playfully in the side with her fork before stabbing a hunk of pancake and shovelling it into her mouth.

J’onn smiled at the pair before finishing the last of his breakfast. “Kara _was_ waiting for you to arrive before she started but I turned to fetch the butter and somehow she had already downed nine pancakes.”

“Right. And how many pancakes _does_ it take to fuel a Kryptonian?” Lena asked teasingly, turning slightly to witness Kara devouring her meal.

Kara’s metabolism had been somewhat of a mystery to her ever since the first time the reporter had brought Big Belly Burger over for lunch. They had scarfed down a burger each and split the fries, but the CEO had spotted the receipt after Kara had left and wondered what’d happened to the other 4/5 of the order.

“Are you asking for future reference?” Kara winked at her. “Because it depends on how much energy I expend the night before.”

Lena nearly choked on the grape she was eating. Thankfully, J’onn had moved to the sink where he was doing the washing up and she hoped that the sound of the running water was enough to mask Kara’s brazen comment.

“Good to know.” She replied, rolling up the long sleeves of Kara’s shirt before they got soaked in syrup.

She was unaccustomed to Kara upping the ante on their flirtation. During the course of their friendship they had maintained a safe G-rating in this realm of discourse. On the few occasions where Lena _had_ taken her own comments further, Kara had been either oblivious to her intentions or uninterested and staying quiet to spare Lena’s feelings. This new, audacious Kara seemed to be a by-product of their conversation late last night. If this is what a fully honest and open Kara was like, Lena was thrilled at her sleep-deprived self for having made the suggestion.

“I thought I’d head to CatCo and crank out this article today. The world needs to know about Lex and Leviathan as soon as possible. Then maybe we can get back to some kind of normalcy around here.” Kara said, chewing carefully. 

“Don’t stories like this usually take months of research and fact-checking?”

“Superspeed helps. And I’ve already got all the research accumulated. I just need some quotes. Good thing I know everyone who was directly involved. It tends to happen when I’m writing about aliens.” Kara reached over to re-roll a sleeve that had fallen loose. “Sorry, I forgot how short you are.”

“Hey, I’m only slightly shorter than you _Supergirl_ , and besides, that’s what heels are for.” She finished off the last dregs of her coffee and saw Kara looking at her expectantly.

“I know you probably want to get to work sorting everything out with LuthorCorp, but I was hoping you’d come with me. I _do_ need you as a source and it always helps to bounce ideas off someone when I’m writing.”

It’d been a while since she’d been played by the Danvers puppy dog eyes and pout combination, but Lena found it hadn’t lost its force.

“Fine. I’ll meet you there, though. I’d like to head home for a bit first.” Spending so much uninterrupted time together after so long apart was addictive. And Lena was worried that the longer she was with Kara, the worse it would be once the Kryptonian snapped out of this post-victory honeymoon period and re-established some distance between them.

“Sounds good.” The reporter replied cheerfully, but Lena felt eyes following her as she cleaned her dish and took off for her apartment.

~ ~ ~

After a quick outfit change, it took an hour or so for Lena to deal with her lawyers and the other board members of LuthorCorp. She would be (re)instated as CEO and primary shareholder of the company following Lex’s arrest. The logistics of the change in management and the many, many changes she’d be implementing would take weeks to coordinate and execute. She was already feeling a tension headache at the prospect. Her last call before heading to CatCo was to her assistant, Jess, one of the few employees at this iteration of the company whom she trusted. She instructed Jess to dole out funds as necessary to aid in the city’s rebuilding process. Lena provided the names of a few organizations that focused their attention on vulnerable groups that would be disproportionately affected by the upheaval. Jess knew without being told to make all of the donations anonymously. 

Her driver dropped her off a few blocks away from CatCo—the surrounding streets were too torn up to navigate safely—and she stopped in at Noonan’s to grab a black coffee for herself and the sugary atrocity that Kara usually drank.

The CatCo offices were quiet, the stillness a consequence of the demolished infrastructure and of the fact that it was a Saturday. _How ironic that CatCo survived the fight. This office is usually the first to see damage._

Kara was typing away at her desk, her fingers a blur flitting across the keyboard. Lena tried and failed to keep her mind off the possibilities inherent in such power and dexterity. Noticing her arrival, Kara perked up and flashed a wide smile as Lena sat down across from her.

“Hey! Thanks for the coffee.” Kara quickly lowered her glasses and zapped the two cups with her heat vision. “I know you like your drinks to be boiling hot and the five minute walk from Noonan’s means a 2.2° decrease in temperature on an average day.”

Lena arched an eyebrow at Kara’s precision. “Thank you. How is the article coming? Anything I can help with?”

“It’s going well. I’ve already contacted Andrea to hear her side of things. Apparently she had absolutely no clue that Gemma was involved with Leviathan. But she and Kelly were really detailed in their explanations of how catastrophic Obsidian’s VR could have been if used for a prolonged period of time.”

“I can help decode some of the technical aspects of the program, if you’d like? I know you’re more accustomed to writing about alien rights, not technology gods.”

“Oh! Thank you! Um, Brainy sent over the schematics of Leviathan’s ship. He was able to decrypt most of their files. Could you start with that? I’ve…well, I’ve got a handle on the science stuff. On Krypton, we were quite advanced in this area, actually.” Kara was flushed now, biting her lip, clearly unsure of how Lena would interpret the news that she was not the only one gifted in science. “I was set to be the youngest member of the Science Guild before…before I came to Earth.”

“Kara, that’s brilliant.” She replied warmly, and she meant it. There was no point in dwelling over the missed opportunities to bond over experiments. She just wanted to know more. “You _will_ have to make this up to me though. You could’ve been helping me this whole time. Imagine having an indestructible lab assistant!”

“Ha! Yeah, I’d love to help you in the lab.” Kara was playing with her glasses, suddenly shy. “Back on Krypton I wasn’t indestructible, you know. That’s actually how I got this scar… lab experiment gone wrong.” She was gesturing vaguely at her forehead, at the scar Lena knew should have been a dead giveaway that her best friend and Supergirl were one and the same. “When I was little, like five years old, my dad used to let me help him in the lab. He turned his back for one second and I spilled the chemicals we were working with. The explosion knocked me off the stool I was standing on and I smacked my head on the desk.”

The image of a tiny Kara wearing oversized lab goggles made Lena nostalgic on Kara’s behalf. It saddened her to think that there weren’t any photos to commemorate this time. There were likely no vestiges at all of Kara’s life before Earth, given that Krypton had literally blown up. She felt a deep sadness, knowing that this was something she rarely got to share. A strong sense of connection to the Kryptonian made itself known to Lena in that moment; she had also lost her entire world when she was young, with no traces left to speak of.

“I’m really glad we can talk about this now. It must be so difficult, knowing that this whole world existed, but not having anyone to share it with.”

Kara was smiling softly, staring into her drained coffee cup. “It’s been hard, you know, having to keep this entire part of my life from you…Because, well, I want to share everything with you, Lena.” She looked into Lena’s eyes as she spoke, and the directness made her fidget in her seat.

Kara must have sensed her discomfort because instead of continuing on that line of thought, she cleared a space on her desk for Lena’s laptop and wrote down the Wi-Fi password. The two worked in silent companionship for hours.

~ ~ ~

The reporter had moved on to the research Pete had finally been able to access on Leviathan by the time Lena had finished with Brainy’s files on their ship and immortality technology. Peering at Kara’s screen, she noted several eye-witness accounts in the report, including a detailed description of the events from Supergirl’s point of view.

It seemed, rather than explaining the events of Crisis to the world (which J’onn had made clear would be disastrously complicated and dangerous), Kara was delving into the evidence they had gathered pre-Crisis, using Lex’s journals and writings on Kryptonians as evidence of his lifelong quest for world domination and his hatred of aliens.

“Is it ethical to continually cite yourself?” She meant it mostly as a joke, but she was genuinely curious as to how Kara would respond. After all, she was literally a symbol of honesty and justice. Lena had thought her morals to be infallible.

“Yeah…not really. I haven’t figured out a way around it though. I mean, I could have Nia interview me or something? But in the end it would just work out to the same article.” If there was one thing Lena understood, it was a grey area. She nodded in acknowledgement but didn’t push the issue further. 

She sent Kara her findings and her version of events, dating back to Lex’s proposition that they work together. The Kryptonian was rapidly integrating the relevant information into her piece as the pair was interrupted by a knock at the door to Kara’s office.

Lena rose to get the door and found herself face to face with her distraught adoptive mother. It was disarming, seeing Lillian Luthor at CatCo.

“Lena! Thank god. I didn’t know what happened to you. I’ve been to your apartment, LuthorCorp, which has seen better days…”

“I’m fine, mother.” She replied stiffly. “Why didn’t you try _calling_ if you were so concerned? I’d have thought you’d be more upset that your golden boy is behind bars once again.” Even though their interactions post-Crisis had been limited, Lena could tell that this Lillian was still rather unpleasant.

“Lena, I know our relationship has been… _fraught_ , but you must know that I would never tolerate Lex’s actions. He was going too far. I was trying to keep you safe, at least, so that we could figure out a way to stop him. It seems you and Supergirl were successful in that regard.” She looked behind her at Kara, who had come to stand just behind her in a show of support.

“Mrs. Luthor, would you like to provide a comment on your son’s actions? Were you helping in his plot with Leviathan? We know you released them from captivity and that you had access to an anti-mind control device.” Kara was in full journalist mode, tearing into Lillian with a one-tracked fervor. If the older woman was offended by the line of questioning, she didn’t show it.

“Lex gave me no choice but to comply. Lena, you know how he gets. I had to play along or else he would have no qualms about forcing me into god knows what. The same goes for you.” Lillian was looking imploringly at the pair. 

“Why should we believe you, mother? You’ve always condoned and even encouraged Lex’s experiments…his beliefs. Why is this time any different? Just because you won’t be able to crawl back to him for protection now that he’s not a genius anymore?”

The look on Lillian’s face was one of pure shock. “You’ve…you’ve actually rid him of his genius? Lena…” She prepared herself for an angry outburst, a tirade about how she had ruined the family’s greatest asset and how she was an ungrateful brat who had come into their home only to destroy it. Instead, Lillian reached out and grasped her arm, halfway between a handshake and a reassuring hold. “You’ve finally bested him for good. Well done Lena.” Lillian seemed impressed, if not slightly envious at Lena’s triumph.

Lena felt her jaw drop slightly at this reaction.

Lillian continued on speaking as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb by simply behaving like a normal human. “Now that he isn’t actively working against you, maybe you’ll have time to actually _complete_ one of your innovations for once. More importantly, LuthorCorp is in ruin. You’d best figure out how to save it and quickly.” She was nodding as she spoke. Seeing the stunned expressions on the faces in front of her, she took on an exasperated tone. “Oh don’t look so surprised! I _do_ love you, I’m your mother. Really, Lena. Your constant need for affection and affirmation is pathetic and exhausting. I expect an update on the company by the end of the week. Good luck with your article Miss Danvers.” 

She gave a curt nod to Kara, turned abruptly on her heel, and left the office.

 _What the fuck was that?_ Lena knew better than to accept Lillian’s words at face value, but she was slightly mollified in that her mother was not as evil as she once feared. If she could recognise that Lex had gone too far, there might be hope for her yet.

“It figures that the second time _ever_ that Lillian admits that she loves me it still somehow revolves around Lex. You’d think she was hiding a disgusting secret, not her own maternal instinct.”

Lena made to resume her work at the desk, mulling over this new development in her rocky relationship with her mother, when Kara blocked her path. She had missed the anxious look the blonde had taken on during Lillian’s diatribe. Kara seemed to be warring with herself. She was wringing her hands and shifting awkwardly on her feet.

“Lena. I have to tell you something. I…there’s one more secret I have to share with you.”

She felt all the air leave her lungs. _How can she be doing this again?_ It had taken a herculean effort for Lena to forgive her the first time. And now she was about to reveal yet another thing she had kept hidden?

The incredulity and anger must have shown on Lena’s face, because Kara was quick to amend her statement. “No, wait, Lena. It’s not…I only _just_ realised…I didn’t know this was something I had to tell you until last night. I swear. I wanted to tell you then, actually, but I needed time to process… I…” She took in a deep breath. “I think…maybe part of the reason it took me so long to tell you I was Supergirl is that I was keeping this other secret from myself. On some level I knew if I told you I was Supergirl, I’d have to come clean about everything.”

Kara had taken Lena’s hands in her own as she stammered through her speech. She was extremely confused by what the Kryptonian was saying, but some part of her felt a flicker of hope and an even greater wave of fear.

“Kara…”

“But I knew, after everything that happened yesterday and…this whole year. I’ve been miserable without you. And the thought of you on that ship, all alone…I knew I couldn’t just leave you there.”

She knew Kara could hear her heart hammering away in her chest, but she was powerless to slow it. “I assumed that Brainy ran the odds and that they were favourable…that you knew you’d have time…”

“The odds…were not great, Lena. I…Alex is still angry with me about it, to be honest.”

She nodded as though she understood, but the truth was that she couldn’t explain Kara’s behaviour. It was illogical.

“Lena…The reason I couldn’t let you die…It wasn’t just that you’re my best friend, or that I felt some duty to rescue you…It’s more than that. It’s _always_ been more than that.” Kara took a pause to gather herself. “The truth is…that I’m in lo—”

“Don’t.” Lena had squeezed her eyes shut. Her hands were clenched tight in Kara’s. She couldn’t look at her earnest, open face. It was too much. It wasn’t fair, how she could express herself with such _ease_ after a mere _day_ of contemplation, when Lena had tortured herself with her feelings for this dorky reporter for _four bloody years_. She still didn’t understand them. How _dare_ Kara have such clarity.

When she finally took in the Kryptonian’s expression, the pain she saw in her eyes rivalled what she had seen on Leviathan’s ship. Of course, Lena’s deepest fantasy was coming true. And not only was she too terrified to enjoy it, she was actively spoiling it.

“Oh…I…I’m sorry. I just thought…everything you said on the ship and…everything.” Kara was rapidly blinking away the tears in her eyes. “I just wanted you to know. We said no more secrets.”

Lena rushed to explain, to fix things before she broke them permanently. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. I just…I…It caught me off guard. You…you didn’t misread things. I’ve been trying to figure this out for a while now too.”

Kara was staring deeply into her eyes, questioning. One hand had come up to frame her face, the other was moving around Lena’s waist to her back. “Can I show you instead?” She spoke softly, with a confidence that seemed to bloom as soon as her feelings were affirmed. Her watery eyes evidence of the depth of her emotion.

Lena couldn’t speak just then so she nodded, taking a much-needed breath just before Kara tilted her head down and joined their lips.

Finally, _mercifully_ , the worried thoughts wreaking havoc on her mind came to a screeching halt. Kara’s lips were soft and took full advantage of Lena’s amenable demeanour. She licked into her mouth like they’d been doing this for years. Like she was a resident of Lena’s soul, not a first-time visitor. Their movements were unhurried, languid. She tasted like vanilla macchiato, maple syrup, and pure sunshine, and for once Lena didn’t shy away from the sweetness. Any uncertainty she had been feeling prior to this contact was erased by the absolute assuredness of Kara’s kiss. A strong thumb was stroking against her jawline, urging her to open herself even more for the welcome invasion.

They stayed like that, swaying in the middle of the office, for an indeterminate amount of time. Kara pulled away periodically to nip and suck at Lena’s lower lip, taking a soothing pass with her tongue before resuming her act of devouring Lena whole. She couldn’t remember a time she had felt so blissfully unworried.

Lena was starting to gasp from want of oxygen, feeling like every breath in her body had been drawn from Kara herself. The Kryptonian picked up on the needed change of pace and contented herself with a few lingering pecks at Lena’s swollen lips. Lena felt herself leaning in for more, gripping tightly at the taller woman’s shoulders to keep her in close orbit. Kara lifted her gently and placed her on the edge of the desk, staying close between her parted knees.

Kara rested her forehead against Lena’s with a sigh for one brief moment of contentment. She then resumed, trailing a blazing path across Lena’s jaw toward her ear, mouthing wetly, when they were suddenly jolted from their newly-formed bubble by another knock at the door.

The pair parted, looking dazedly toward the source of the second interruption of the afternoon. William Dey pried open the door, peering inside. He was turning out to be a right pain in the ass.

“I just thought I’d swing by and get some work done, I didn’t know if you’d be here, Kara.” William had the decency to look embarrassed at his intrusion, no doubt noting their close proximity. But Lena currently lacked the compassion to handle him with civility. Thankfully, she had just been entwined with the most ebullient being on this Earth.

“That’s okay! We were just…finishing up.” She glanced awkwardly back at Lena as she distanced herself slightly more. Lena hopped off her perch on the edge of the desk and smoothed her blouse of non-existent wrinkles.

“I’m going to send this article in for review. We should be able to get it out in time for the next issue.” Kara subtly ushered William out of her office and over to the bullpen and his own desk. Lena marvelled at how she simultaneously distracted with a bright smile and strong-armed the man, guiding him away from the precariousness of what they had just created together.

Her mind was still slightly numb as she tidied up Kara’s desk, sorting through ruffled documents and packing up her own laptop and notepad. There was part of her that couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. She took the reprieve to collect herself as she tried to process the life-altering event that had just occurred.

“Sorry about that.” Kara was back, looking adorably eager, rolling on the balls of her feet with hands clasped behind her back.

Not knowing how to broach the topic of their newfound intimacy, Lena deflected quickly with a jab of humour.

“I thought you had superhearing, Supergirl? How come you didn’t detect Mr. Dey’s presence before he was in your office, hm? Distracted?” She approached Kara slowly, as if by gravitational pull, and looked up at her with a teasing smirk. She bit her lip to prevent her face from expressing whatever convoluted combination of delight and discomfiture she was feeling.

“Well Miss Luthor, I’ll have you know that my hearing was focused in on the pretty sounds you were making. I didn’t want to miss any of it.” How like Kara to respond to open flirtation with candor and somehow make it sexy. Lena blushed profusely at her words. Had she been making noises? She wasn’t usually very vocal. So much for taking control of the situation.

She found herself lightly pinned against Kara’s desk, muscled arms encircling her frame. The mood was decidedly less languorous than their previous encounter.

“So, is this really happening?” Kara looked nervous now. She was leaving room for Lena to escape, to renege on her admission the day prior. But she found she didn’t need, or want, to flee. It felt good to be trapped in Kara’s embrace. And even if she had the energy to resist (which she didn’t), the reasons for her inner struggle were quickly slipping from her mind and into the ether. She would have to be brave, and honest, as per their agreement.

Swallowing her lingering doubts, Lena spoke her truth to Kara’s chest, where she knew the House of El family crest was hidden beneath her soft sweater. “I want this. _Have_ wanted this. Let’s just…take things slow and see where it goes.” She tilted her face up toward Kara’s in invitation and, as always, the blonde took her cue, pressing their lips together firmly in a promise of more to come.


	6. vi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LuthorCorp, dinner, and a movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this long ass chapter! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQpKtnLUduE
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=uaNiaK6JS36U568uShXLTg

Weeks had gone by in a blur since the defeat of Leviathan, and most of Lena’s time had been spent attempting to reconfigure LuthorCorp and its subsidiaries. Due to Lex’s arrest and pending trial, Lena had acquired his shares as per the company bylaws stating that any involvement in criminal activity would forfeit a director’s rights under the documents of incorporation. She was now the majority shareholder by a long shot. Though her status facilitated the implementation of her alterations, it didn’t prevent other board members from informing her of their extreme displeasure on a near-daily basis, or from accusing her of shirking her fiduciary duties.

It was a nightmare, trying to sort out who owned what post-Crisis, and her days had largely comprised hours-long phone calls with investors, with lawyers, and, strangely enough, with Lillian, who loved barking orders at her from afar in the guise of corporate advice.

Rather than carefully weeding out all the “bad apples” left over from Lex’s reign, Lena had opted for a total overhaul of the operation. She hired and fired employees based on her own personal knowledge of their skills and allegiance, coupled with an extensive vetting process powered by a program Brainy was spearheading for her. She had also formed a small and unbiased decision-making panel of trusted directors to weigh in on the procedure. The process was slow, but the newly appointed CEO was keen to do things above board, and this was a more attainable goal than ever, what with Lex behind bars and Lillian owning minimal shares.

During the shifting of assets, Lena had gone ahead and purchased controlling shares of Obsidian North, following a long conversation with Andrea. Her former friend was shaken by the decades-long blackmail and its recent culmination, and was in need of some assistance so she could spend more time with her father. In their discussions, Lena had refrained from revealing that her true motivations in acquiring the tech company were, firstly, to tighten up its ethics review board (because it had become painfully clear to the Luthor that the entire Leviathan fiasco ought to have been nipped in the bud at phase 1 of the VR experimentation), and secondly, to regain control of CatCo. She knew that Kara had been miserable writing puff pieces for Andrea (in fact, she had counted on it as part of her revenge), but she was more than ready to allow her the chance to stretch her capable journalistic muscles.

The move to buy Obsidian had not been a popular one. Lena had been forced to demand a vote by ballot at the last stilted shareholders meeting, allowing her to vote with the full force of each of her newly acquired shares. She would be flexing her own muscles when it came to righting the course of CatCo’s publication, veering away from Andrea’s revenue-driven fashion faux-pas listicles and steering for a finer balance between hard-hitting journalism and subtle-yet-effective advertorials. Marketing was everything, and, being a Millennial herself, Lena knew that her generation had a sharp eye for corporate bullshit and would sprint in the opposite direction of a transparent moneygrab.

Kara’s article on Lex, Leviathan, and the world almost ending had dropped today along with CatCo’s Summer issue. The 26-page spread was airtight, thoroughly fact-checked and sourced, and made Lena beam with pride. This would help to put her brother away for good, but it seemed the company she had worked so hard to resurrect pre-Crisis would be taking another significant branding hit.

She thumbed through the glossy pages of the magazine and tried to stop herself from cringing whenever she read over Kara’s laudatory descriptions of her actions. She heard the reporter’s melodic voice in her head as she read, the words lilting off the pages like a siren song meant to lure her to a demise by a falsely saint-like self-image. She wondered how the public would react to the lesser Luthor taking down the one they had come to idolise.

She let out an audible sigh and, after standing for a quick stretch break, sat back down at her impromptu desk in the basement lab of LuthorCorp—the only facet of the building left intact. She had been going stir crazy in her home office and had relocated for a change of pace, though equipment was still strewn about after the Rama Khan-induced earthquake. The mess was driving her to distraction. The rest of the physical building wouldn’t be fully erected for another several months, though the city as a whole was faring much better due to generous donations and to a helping hand from Supergirl, J’onn, and M’gann.

Lena had been stubbornly avoiding her phone since 9 a.m. The current onslaught of Twitter mentions had begun after @GottaBeKD tweeted out a link to the online version of her article, tagging @TheLenaLuthor in the process.

She wondered idly if Kara had texted her yet today. Since their _moment_ in Kara’s office, their communication had been limited, and relegated to mostly text messages. Lena had been using the revamping of her billion-dollar company as the main excuse for her aloofness, but mostly she had felt the need to take a step back and assert some control over the situation. Now that the thrill of the post-Crisis crisis was over and done with, she felt more equipped to analyse their relationship with an objective eye. She craved the Kryptonian’s affection, but didn’t feel comfortable reciprocating the slew of red and blue heart emojis that lined her closing texts. Not yet, anyway. Kara, for her part, had been ignoring Lena’s distance, and popped in for the occasional lunch, stealing a few chaste kisses before leaping off into the city for her Supergirl duties. 

The chaos that followed Leviathan’s wreckage had just begun to dissipate. The city had seen a sharp uptick in the number of petty crimes, looters, and errant alien threats, and Kara had been occupied during all hours of the day and night trying to tamp down those taking advantage of the disorder. That, coupled with the rushed printing of her revelatory piece on Lex, had left the pair (couple?) with little to no time alone together.

Given her ambivalence on the matter, Lena didn’t know how to feel when the woman who had taken up all of the available real estate in her mind strolled into the basement lab wielding a relatively healthy (for her) lunch order from Noonan’s.

“Hey.” Kara placed a Greek salad in front of her, bending slightly to drop a tender kiss to the crown of her head as she did, before taking a seat in the nearest chair. “How’s everything going today? Did that angry investor call back?” She was already munching away at her own hefty meal of grilled chicken sandwiches (four, to be exact) and fries (lots of fries) before Lena could even clock the casualness of her spontaneous lunch drop-in. “Did you get a chance to look at the finished article? I think it turned out really well. You’re trending on Twitter right now.”

Though Kara clearly mentioned this proudly, to buoy the brunette’s spirits, she felt a prickle of anxiety at the knowledge that she was being _seen_ online, in any context. She relayed the positive instead.

“The article is brilliant, Kara. I’ve always said you had a way with words.” She smiled encouragingly and hoped her genuine admiration for the reporter shone through. She knew she could come across as cold, but Kara had always been adept at reading between the lines of her restrictive Luthor conditioning. “As for the company…I’d really appreciate a break from thinking about it, actually. I’m not winning any allies with the shift to corporate social responsibility, but they’ll just have to deal with my Doddian economic views…”

Kara looked adorably bemused, but latched onto the chance to provide a pleasant distraction for the CEO. “I know you’re still busy with all the ‘boardroom’ stuff and that you’re not really doing any experiments right now, but I thought I could help you clean up the lab today. It would probably make this a much nicer space to work in.”

Somehow the Kryptonian had already finished her meal and had placed a large warm hand on Lena’s thigh, just below the hem of her pencil skirt. Kara’s considerateness touched her deeply, and the physical embodiment of it on her knee was a lovely reminder that she actually gave a fuck about her. 

Lena felt herself acquiescing with a nod, as heat radiated up her leg from Kara’s palm. She had found the alien to be quite tactile _before_ , back when they were “just friends.” It had taken the touch-starved Luthor many months to adjust to the physical affection at the start of their friendship. She was still in the phase of adapting to this new level, her eager heart thumping loudly as if egged on by Kara’s apparent ease.

She made to put away the remaining half of her salad so as not to take up too much of Kara’s time—time which could be spent helping the city—but she was halted with a squeeze to the thigh. 

“I didn’t mean to rush you—finish your food. I’m not needed anywhere right now.” Kara frowned. “I haven’t seen you for more than half an hour at a time in weeks,” she added, looking sincerely displeased by their lack of face time. Lena felt a tug of guilt.

The last they had spent any considerable time together she had spilled her darkest secrets with humiliating inelegance and then made out with the reporter in public like a teenager visiting her girlfriend at a summer job. But it wasn’t fair to Kara to stick to such a glacial pace just to preserve her own sense of dignity. She’d have to learn to reign in her bubbling emotions when Kara was around. After all, she had to retain _some_ power if she was actually going to date the strongest woman in the universe. It was just so much harder now that she had admitted to feeling anything at all.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Kara. I’ve just been absolutely swamped with work. I know it’s been the same for you.” She moved her hand down to grasp the one still at her thigh. “I’m really glad you’re here. Why don’t I show you some of the equipment I’ve been working with?”

Once Lena was finished with her salad and the giant chocolate chip cookie Kara had brought her for dessert (“It’s not a complete meal without dessert, Lena!”), the pair began the painstaking task of sorting the scattered devices and heavy technology around the spacious underground lab. Both were aware of the fact that Kara could easily have finished the task within minutes with her speed, but relished the opportunity to discuss something they both loved.

Lena explained several improvements that she envisioned for various tools, as well as her hypotheses for future medical trials. Kara listened with rapt attention as she lifted the heaviest equipment, assessing each piece for damage. She offered her opinions when prompted, but didn’t proclaim to have all the answers when Lena confessed a gap in her own knowledge (though she suspected that the Kryptonian might have them). In turn, Kara shared the cultural relevance of science on her lost planet and painted a vision of several technological advancements of which she admittedly felt the absence. These tidbits made Lena’s eyes widen and she felt her mind reeling at the possibilities. She was inspired by Kara’s recollections, and now had several new projects in mind. It exhilarated her.

It took nearly two hours for the space to be properly organized. Lena heard her laptop pinging with several incoming emails from across the room. She had felt herself relax as the discussion had shifted easily to Quantum Field Theory, biomechanics, gene therapy—a stark contrast to the emotionally charged stare-offs that she and Kara had shared over the past year. It felt freeing and natural to speak to Kara like this, like they were finally on the same level, with no animosity. Equals.

But she knew they weren’t really. One of them was a near-goddess with superstrength, a bottomless well of positivity, and two rows of perfect white teeth. The other was a Luthor who could barely admit to _herself_ that she’d like very much to see said goddess naked. She simply did not know how to proceed. Not without a full understanding of where they stood. But she’d rather transfer all of her LuthorCorp shares to Lillian than ask Kara about any of this. She would figure out the solution quietly on her own, like she did with every problem, and then present it to Kara when she was good and ready. She was never one to ask for help and she wasn’t about to start now—not when the question she needed help with was ‘How do I tell my Kryptonian girlfriend (if that’s even what she is) what she means to me without giving away so much as to allow her to totally destroy me?’ 

Lena directed a mental eyeroll at herself as she leaned over her desk and skimmed the subject lines of several angry emails, as well as one from Jess titled ‘Basement Office: Yea or Nay?’ She must have been making audible groans of frustration because Kara’s hand was suddenly massaging up and down her back, peeking over her shoulder to see the cause of her distress.

She rubbed at her temples and leaned into the solid body behind her, accepting the sweet kiss that was placed on her forehead.

“Hey, I was thinking…do you want to come over for dinner tonight? And maybe watch a movie, like old times?” She couldn’t see Kara’s face, but Lena detected a hint of nervousness in her voice.

 _Old times_. _If only we had been this candid during the ‘old times’ we could have avoided all the bullshit._ “I would love to, darling, but I don’t know if I can get away at a reasonable hour for dinner.” She sighed deeply and closed her laptop, turning to rest her head on Kara’s shoulder in consolation.

The taller woman grasped her chin and tilted her face up toward her own. “Please, Lena. I know you’ve been working ‘til midnight almost every day. I…I fly by your apartment to check and your light is always on.” She looked like she wanted to say more but thought better of it. Lena knew the feeling.

Despite her extreme trepidation she _did_ want this to work. She’d never made concessions for partners before, but Kara would have to be an exception. She _was_ exceptional, after all. She could do dinner and a movie. They used to all the time. No big deal. _God Lena, why do you have to make everything so fucking difficult?_

“Okay. Okay. Maybe I can take one night off. Things are settling a bit, and I’ve got most of the R&D department staffed and ready to go. How about I come ‘round yours for…seven?” Was that the time normal people ate dinner at?

Apparently, she had made the right call. Kara looked so happy that Lena wanted to make more mundane promises to her, anything to keep her eyes bright and pointed in her direction.

The blonde brushed her forehead, nose, and lips with her own in quick succession, diving in for seconds on her lips and lingering for one soft moment. Her smile had imprinted itself on Lena’s face when she pulled back.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then. And don’t bring anything!” She grabbed the take-out containers and sped out of the underground space. Lena shook her head as she sat back down and prepared herself for the blitz that awaited her.

Instead of re-opening her laptop, she checked her phone for the first time since that morning, her curiosity eating away at her. Scrolling through her Twitter notifications, she found Kara’s original tweet and registered the actual title of the article for the first time, breath catching in her throat.

@GottaBeKD: “Checkmate: @TheLenaLuthor outwits brother Lex and Leviathan, saves Earth (and Supergirl) from total mind control, without pawn sacrifice” 

~ ~ ~

Lena was proud of herself for leaving LuthorCorp with enough time to stop in at home to change out of her work armour and grab two bottles of wine (one red and one white—Kara didn’t say what they were eating). She arrived at Kara’s loft at a prompt 6:55 p.m. She had made sure to don her comfiest outfit, which was coincidentally Kara’s old National City University sweater and her favourite jeans. Movie night meant cuddling, and she wanted to be prepared for whatever that entailed now that they were…whatever they were.

She rapped at the door loudly though Kara had probably heard her approach, she realised belatedly. She heard clinking and clanging pots and pans and an exasperated sigh, and then Kara was greeting her at the door with a bright, if not harried, smile.

“Come on in! Oh Lena, you didn’t have to bring anything.” Kara took the bottles from her arms and Lena got a glimpse of the kitchen area as she accepted a peck on the cheek. 

“Kara, are you actually _cooking_?” This was new.

The Kryptonian normally ordered their usual stacks of pizza and potstickers for movie nights. In fact, the most adventurous culinary move she’d seen Kara attempt was to place the potstickers directly _on_ the pizza. The disaster on the kitchen island was unexpected. Kara was scurrying around in a yellow apron that read “Hot stuff comin’ through,” attending to whatever was about to burn on the stove.

“Yep! I’ve got it don’t worry! Sit down, relax.” Kara did not, in fact, “have it.” Lena felt a childhood memory being activated by the aromas wafting over to her seat at the island and recognized what was about to happen. Kara held a bottle of Jameson aloft over the pan that currently housed browned lobster in a bath of butter. Lena snatched the bottle away just in time to take over the flambé.

“Christ, Kara. You’re attempting a Dublin Lawyer? You don’t even cook! Step back.” She didn’t know why she warned the blonde away. She was fireproof.

Lena carefully poured the whiskey into the pan, setting fire to the mélange. The flames quickly died down and Kara handed her the remaining pre-prepared ingredients. Cream, lemon juice, mustard, salt and pepper were mixed in, and the duo worked together to re-shell the lobsters and finish them off in the oven.

Once plated beside a bed of rice and a mixed salad, Lena had to admit the meal looked delicious. She hated salmon, but loved seafood in general. Her mother had never catered to “kids’ tastes” and fed her every delectable dish that she prepared for herself. It had been 23 years since she’d tasted this particular recipe, and she’s never had it with whiskey in.

It felt ridiculous to eat lobster on the couch, so Lena took the liberty of seating herself at the dining table. Kara poured them each a glass of Chardonnay and sat down across from her, forgetting to remove her apron.

“Do you usually wear a bib to dinner?” Lena couldn’t help teasing her as she sipped her wine. A blushing Kara was one of her favourites. Though she supposed that phrase lost its potency when she considered just how many versions of Kara were her so-called favourite.

“Oops! Thanks Lena.” She gracefully shed the garment and the CEO took note of her outfit. She wore a tight-fitting black button down, tucked into a nice pair of light wash jeans. Kara had let her hair down, glasses off. She looked lovely.

As the two started to dig in, Lena finally took stock of her surroundings. She was feasting on a sophisticated homemade dish—a dish she had mentioned maybe once to Kara _years_ ago as being one of the few recollections she had of her mother. Across from her, Kara was dressed in casual and yet not movie-night-casual attire that was classy without outdoing the setting. Between them, Kara had placed a subtle candle that was casting flickering shadows across her relaxed face, gazing at Lena with pure contentment.

“Kara…is this…a date?” She felt like an idiot, a student who had completely misunderstood the assignment.

Kara’s responding blush was confirmation enough, but she nodded shyly anyway. “Is the food okay? I wanted to make something special for you, but if it’s awful we can just order in. I don’t mind. You know I don’t cook very often but I wanted to at least _try_ to—”

“Kara, it’s fantastic, thank you. I can’t believe you remembered this recipe… I just… I heard ‘movie night’ and I assumed you meant, well…our _usual_ movie night.” She was flustered. Kara had clearly put a lot of thought and effort into this. “I would have worn something a bit less…comfortable, had I realised.”

“Are you kidding? You always look beautiful, Lena. I love when you’re cozy around me. It makes me feel warm.” Kara was so painfully earnest sometimes that it made Lena feel vulnerable on her behalf.

“Well, thank you. I’ll be sure to dress more appropriately next time.”

“Next time?” Kara’s grin was providing more light than the candle at this point. Lena snorted into her wine glass, but the move had no bite when paired with the soft smile she reserved for Kara.

“I know I work a lot, but I’m not diametrically opposed to romance you know. I’m trying.” She scooped a forkful of salad into her mouth to stop herself from saying more. Kara didn’t need to hear about how much of a challenge it was for her to enjoy dating like a regular human being. “Actually, I wanted to ask you about something…it’s about work.”

“Yes?” Kara was refilling their glasses. She had already finished off her alien-sized portion of lobster, and was picking unenthusiastically at her salad.

“Well, I don’t fancy keeping the name LuthorCorp for the company. I know it doesn’t carry quite the same negative stigma as it did before Crisis, but it _is_ still an unwanted reminder of Lex and his evil.”

“If you’re planning another re-naming, I’d rather you skip the outdoor ceremony…Supergirl will be there if you have one but…It’s a risk I’d rather not take.”

“That’s the thing. I don’t know what to rename it _to_. L-Corp just feels…wrong somehow. Like I’m carrying out the same actions, trapped in a loop. I want this to be a fresh start. A clean break from before.” She wasn’t explaining herself properly and she knew it, but there was a chance Kara would know what she meant anyway. She was the person closest to being fluent in _Lena_. 

Kara looked contemplative. She’d drained another glass of wine instead of finishing the leafy greens on her plate. Lena was reminded that the alcohol had no effect on the Kryptonian, and she regretted having imbibed as much as she had. The drink went down smoothly and helped ease the precariousness she felt at being in Kara’s presence. She felt relatively sober, but definitely more loose-lipped than she’d prefer. It was nerve-wracking, knowing that the woman in front of her could read her so well, could track the pace of her heartbeat.

“Do you have to change it right away? Or do we have time to come up with ideas? It’ll be weird to call it something other than L-Corp, but I see where you’re coming from. It’s hard having to start again on a path you’ve already taken. Even if it’s not totally the same.”

“We have time. At least until the building is up and I have to stick a label on it. And I’ll be sure to give the scoop to my favourite CatCo reporter, rather than announcing it on a stage and serving myself up on a silver platter for Lex’s ever-loyal followers.”

Kara reached across the table and took her hand. “I’d be honoured to break the news when we have it.”

“I meant Nia, but okay.” She squeezed the hand in hers and was delighted by the ensuing peal of laughter.

“I guess it’s not the best idea to have me breaking all your news anyway…You’re technically my boss again and it’s a conflict of interest, especially now that we’re…umm.”

Kara disembarked clumsily from her statement and Lena wanted to swoop in and help her but didn’t know which word to suggest. “Girlfriends” felt juvenile, but “together” sounded more stable than she felt. Kara was still flailing awkwardly as Lena rose and relocated to drape herself across her lap, stilling her with a firm kiss. She wasn’t ready to delve into the details of their status just yet so she’d have to pacify Kara with her lips. 

She pressed her forehead down into the blonde’s. “Don’t worry darling, I’ll sort it out with HR. No one is going to accuse you of sleeping your way up the ladder.” The woman under her sucked in a sharp breath and pulled her closer.

“Umm…Are we…So it’s okay if people know?” Kara pressed a kiss to her throat before looking up into her eyes. “I know you said you wanted to see how things went… I haven’t told anyone. It seemed like you wanted it to be private.”

The image of Kara’s steadfastly faithful friends grilling her at game night flashed through her mind and caused a pang in her gut. She wasn’t ready to waltz in and cavalierly rejoin the group. And she _certainly_ wasn’t prepared to do so as Kara’s…whatever she was. She’d be flayed alive, and Alex would surely employ cold, hard logic to convince her sister to see reason and leave the Luthor before she could get too attached. She was grateful that Kara had been perceptive enough to know that she wasn’t ready to be public just yet. She felt safe when they were alone together. But not really at any other time.

“I do. At least for now. Is that alright?” She held Kara’s face in her hands, hoping to be met with honesty. She didn’t want to start their new relationship off with resentment, not when their previous attempt at one was contaminated with it.

“Of course, Lena. I said I wanted you to be comfortable and I meant it. And I wouldn’t mind having some more time with just us…” One hand had sneaked up, under the NCU sweater, her thumb stroking maddeningly at Lena’s side. The other steadying hand was warm on her lower back. 

Lena chuckled lowly and reunited their lips. The kiss quickly grew more heated than the previous dozen ever had. She took Kara’s tongue into her mouth and sucked, drawing a low moan—a sound she’d never heard her make before. She redoubled her efforts, tilting her head to gain more access, and tangled her fingers in the golden locks she’d been admiring all night under candlelight.

Kara was responding enthusiastically, allowing her hand to inch up and around to her back, smoothing over the skin under her bra strap. She pressed forward slightly and Lena inadvertently nudged Kara’s empty plate, knocking a fork and a few leaves of kale to the floor with a clatter. The pair pulled apart and looked to the floor in unison.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lena noticed Kara biting her lip against what was definitely a terrible kale joke at her expense. She turned quickly, taking the offending lip between her own teeth and nipping playfully.

“Don’t. Say. A. Word,” she cautioned, punctuating each word with a tap to Kara’s nose and adopting her most threatening boardroom face.

Kara was failing spectacularly at containing her smile, so Lena ploughed on, standing to clear the table. “Okay Chef Zor-El, let’s clean up and you can tell me which film you’re subjecting me to tonight.”

“Hey! I only screen the best that cinema has to offer,” she protested with fake outrage, gathering their plates and utensils.

Lena arched an eyebrow as they filled the dishwasher. “So why is it that I’ve seen the Lindsay Lohan _Parent Trap_ no fewer than _seven times_ in this apartment, but I still haven’t seen _Citizen Kane_ —the supposed ‘greatest American film?’ Some of us would like to expand our cinematic horizons.” She knew she was setting Kara up for a quote, she just couldn’t be sure which one was coming.

“Well see, that’s the difference between us. _I have class and you don’t_.” Kara’s English accent was actually quite good, Lena noted. Still, she scoffed at the oft-recited line.

“Not that I don’t appreciate Natasha Richardson, but I think we’re overdue for a classic.” She brought her glass and the remaining wine over to the coffee table and sat in her usual nook on the sofa.

“ _The Parent Trap_ _is_ a classic, Lena.” Kara was shaking her head in admonishment, and sat down right next to her, their thighs touching. “But if you insist!”

The scroll through Netflix took a few minutes, but they decided on _City Lights_. Kara loved Charlie Chaplin’s antics and being able to crack jokes over silent films. Lena had been the one to point it out, saying it would help with her classic film education, but secretly she just thought the plot sounded romantic.

They settled in with a blanket and Kara’s arm across the back of the couch. It was easy for Lena to lean in and soak up Kara’s warmth after a long day (and weeks) at work. The Tramp’s charm and the safety provided by the ritual of movie night made her forget, briefly, that anything had shifted between them. She was utterly relaxed. Maybe that was why she didn’t see it coming when Kara finally worked up the courage to question her in the last stretch of the film. They were nearly at the part in the movie where the Tramp visits the flower girl after her vision is cured.

Kara was still watching the screen intently when she began. “I know you’ve been working a lot but it seems like there’s something else going on…I’ve barely seen you. Before you knew I was Supergirl you always had time for long lunches and game nights.”

Kara turned toward her now, and Lena tensed at the serious look on her face. Kara must have detected the imperceptible edge to her shoulders, because she carried on worriedly. “Lena, if you’re having doubts, or second thoughts, please tell me. Just because I said I love-”

Lena had pitched herself forward with purpose, cutting off Kara’s second attempt at a declaration with a hard kiss. Pulling away, she delicately placed her empty wine glass next to the bottle, collecting herself, and turned back to face the blonde. 

“Kara, just because I didn’t realise this was a date doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to be one. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted this. It’s just new. That’s all.” She had looped her arms around Kara’s neck and was pulling her face down toward her. “I think I get where the movie is heading…maybe we can skip the rest,” she whispered the last bit of her speech against soft lips.

She was not disappointed as Kara gently lowered them so she was lying back against the couch cushions. She joined her after a moment’s hesitation, slotting herself between Lena’s thighs and kissing her sweetly.

“So how do you think the movie ends?” Kara asked between kisses. It took a moment for her brain to respond; Kara was thwarting her attempts to deepen the kiss, teasing with quick nips and pulls. Lena let her frustration be known with a sharp tug to Kara’s hair, though the impervious Kryptonian responded only by closing her eyes and humming in assent.

She sighed in slight exasperation. “It seems clear that the flower girl will reject him once she sees he’s not a millionaire. He _did_ mislead her…” She watched herself be terribly cynical as if from afar and wondered again how someone as positive as Kara could possibly have the patience to put up with her pessimism.

Kara smiled down at her, ready to prove her wrong. “Actually, she figures out it’s him and it’s implied that they’ll get together. Wouldn’t be much of a romantic comedy if they didn’t…”

With that, Kara seemed to decide that the conversation was over because she was ducking back down and resuming their kiss with a passion.

Lena was burning up, what with the wine, the sweater, and the woman grinding subtly into her. She let out a moan as Kara licked at her neck, sucking lightly on her pulse point. Her pristine ponytail was coming loose, and Kara reached up to pull it out as she reconnected their mouths. Hands were wandering now. Lena was struggling to unbutton Kara’s top and nimble fingers were skimming her ribcage, exploring under her sweater.

“I was wondering where my old school sweater got to.” Kara breathed into her mouth.

She let out a shuddered whimper as one of Kara’s fingers brushed the underside of her breast and forced herself to pull away from the hot mouth above her to reply. “I still can’t believe I wore this on our first date.” She had half of Kara’s shirt undone and was glad to see a blue bra peeking out, no undershirt.

“You’re cute when you’re comfortable.” Lena couldn’t comprehend how Kara was so coherent as she rolled her hips firmly down into hers, the friction sending jolts straight to her clit.

Her voice was raspy and low by the time she could respond, and she spoke directly into Kara’s ear. “I’d feel more comfortable if you took it off.”

Kara’s eyes darkened instantly and Lena was pleased with the reaction. Though she had initiated the kiss with the intention of distracting Kara from painful matters, she found she didn’t want to wait any longer to explore this side of their relationship. She’d waited four years. Four years of unrequited daydreams and nighttime sessions. She was through waiting. And, judging by the slickness she felt between her legs, her body agreed.

She looked up at the TV one final time and saw as the Tramp’s face shifted from painful uncertainty to utter joy. She’d deal with her shortcomings later, for now she just wanted to enjoy whatever Kara had to give her. 

~ ~ ~

Kara was elated with how well the evening was going. It was strange how something as routine as movie night was being transformed into something more between them. She had always craved intimacy with Lena, but she had never dared to let her mind drift to this place. Now that they were here, she couldn’t imagine turning back. She wanted to experience everything with this woman.

She stared at Lena’s beautiful face below her. Her pale features were flushed from activity and three glasses of wine, and Kara swallowed hard as the brunette bit her lip, lifting her arms in invitation.

She carefully pulled the sweater up and over Lena’s head, tossing it aside, and sucked in a breath at the expanse of skin suddenly available to her. She didn’t know where to begin.

“Lena…” She didn’t know what she was saying, just that she was in awe. She allowed her hands to graze Lena’s ribs before tangling one in her mussed hair and kissing the red lips below her. Lena had finally managed to undo the last button on her shirt and was trailing cool hands across the planes of her stomach. The nails of one hand scratched lightly below her navel, and Kara groaned, biting at Lena’s lower lip.

“I want this off.” Lena ordered, tugging at the garment hanging off her shoulders. But Kara was loath to leave the warm embrace of Lena’s arms long enough to remove it. She ignored the plea in favour of stamping wet kisses across the sharp collarbones beneath her. She licked a path down the valley between Lena’s breasts to her belly and was unreasonably irritated by the barrier presented by her black bra as she moved back up. She huffed her aggravation into Lena’s neck and contented herself by exploring one lace-covered breast with her right hand. She cupped her gently and tugged at the hardened nipple through the fabric as Lena lovingly combed her digits through blonde locks.

“Here, this would be better.” Lena sat up and unclasped her bra, smoothly removing the bane of Kara’s existence and dropping it to the floor.

It took a moment for Kara to process what she was seeing. Distantly, she heard Lena give a full, unrestrained laugh at the alien’s dumbfounded expression. Lena had always been a generous laugher. Not that she laughed often. But when she did it was with her entire face and from her belly. It was Kara’s favourite sound, and she hoped to give it some competition for that title tonight.

“I knew you liked my tits from the number of times I’ve caught you staring, but the slack-jawed, slobbering look is a bit much, darling.” Kara had no response for the accurate summation and continued to stare dumbly. 

Still chuckling, Lena caressed her jaw and pressed herself into Kara so they were chest-to-chest. Clever teeth tugged at her earlobe, and Kara’s brain nearly short-circuited when Lena spoke again. “Take me to bed, Kara.”

And so she did. Grasping the thighs that were currently wrapped around her torso, she stood up and walked them to her room as Lena sucked at a spot beneath her jaw, driving her wild.

She deposited her precious cargo softly so she could lie back on the many pillows littering her bed. She wasted no time and very nearly pounced back onto Lena, kissing her with renewed vigour. A squeak from the woman below her made her pull back swiftly, fearing that she had miscalculated her strength. But one look into Lena’s stormy eyes told her that her panic was unfounded.

They worked together to shed their remaining clothing—Kara using superspeed to rid herself of her restrictive attire—and the Kryptonian found herself uncharacteristically breathless at the sight laid out before her.

She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that she had a naked Lena Luthor in her bed, stretched out below her with half-lidded eyes. So she leaned down and wrapped her lips around a taut nipple instead.

~ ~ ~

Kara was driving her mad. Absolutely mad. Her stunned reaction earlier had given her a good laugh, but it had become clear as long minutes passed that Kara’s fascination with her breasts was no laughing matter. In fact, Lena would seriously consider a moratorium on that area of her body if it were not for the ecstasy the torturous attention was giving her.

Kara was alternating between her breasts, nipping, sucking, and massaging, engrossed with the near-constant stream of pleasure-filled sounds coming from the brunette. Lena, for her part, had given up trying to subdue the whining emanating from her throat after the first mewl had escaped her clutches.

“Kara…Kara…” She panted and gripped the blonde’s hair tightly, trying to convey her need elsewhere. It was unsurprisingly difficult to move a Kryptonian when she didn’t want to be moved. Lena tried to rub up against the strong thigh holding her open, seeking some relief from this torment.

Just as the wherewithal to simply _ask_ Kara to touch her clit dawned on her, the woman now nuzzling between her breasts paused, look her directly in the eye, and breathed out onto her left nipple with what must have been a small exhalation of freeze breath. Lena shivered at the new sensation and it was repeated on her right breast. What she wasn’t prepared for was the warm, wet heat of Kara’s mouth as it returned to bathe the stiff peaks in a soothing gesture.

She felt like an ice cream cone being dipped in hot chocolate sauce. A gush of wetness pooled between her legs, accompanying the feeling, and she sighed a breathy sigh.

“Kara…Please, Kara. I need…” She tried again to redirect Kara’s attention southward, and it seemed she was finally ready to comply as she lifted herself back up for a sloppy kiss (her tongue was still slightly cool in Lena’s mouth). Kara gave one final tweak of her well-loved nipples as she departed, peppering a trail of open-mouthed, suctioned kisses down, down, down.

Suddenly she was _there_ , spreading Lena’s legs farther apart with unwavering hands. Kara took her time, laying kisses along her inner thighs like she was working her way slowly to the main course of a meal. Lena had never known Kara to pace herself with food. But this was different. A different Kara altogether. One with patience, perceptiveness, and skill.

The blonde met her eyes from between her knees and asked a question Lena never thought she’d hear from her sweet, sweet Kara in this context. “Can I taste?” 

Lena’s mind was too fuzzy for her to slow her response time, nodding jerkily before Kara had even finished her request. The first broad swipe of her tongue felt like a reward for her alacrity. She was breathing deeply as the woman between her legs licked through her folds, savouring her taste as if enjoying a fine feast. Kara was taking her time, circling her dripping entrance with the tip of her agile tongue and alternating the movement with teasing flicks and kisses at her swollen clit.

She reached down blindly, unwilling to look anywhere but into deep blue-black eyes, and grasped Kara’s hand at her thigh, pulling it to her side. She squeezed tightly, unafraid of hurting the indestructible woman below her. The connection provided a sturdier anchor than the mouth currently connected to her cunt.

Lena didn’t even try to stifle her plaintive moans each time the talented tongue abandoned the spot where she needed it most. Kara was building her up so, so slowly. Her voice was rising in pitch and volume, in time with the steady rise and fall of the rhythm being set. Kara heeded her sounds and dedicated her attention where it was wanted—but not enough to send her over. 

Just when she thought she couldn’t take another teasing trill, Kara moved closer, tossing a leg over a broad shoulder and drawing her clit into her mouth, sucking hard with a moan that vibrated through her core. She let out an embarrassingly loud cry at the shift in intensity, but she was thankfully too preoccupied by the pulse of Kara’s mouth thrumming through her to register it. Her release was coming quickly now, her peak approaching at an exponential rate that she would later attribute to an evening of flirting and a half decade of pining. Lena felt Kara’s fingers ghost over her entrance, and on the third draw over her sensitive bud she was pushed over the brink, coming hard with a keening wail.

Kara lapped lazily over her as she came down, avoiding direct contact with her most sensitive parts, before rejoining her at the head of the bed with a tender kiss. Lena barely had the chance to catch her breath before Kara was seeking permission to dive back in.

“I want to be inside you.” Kara was cupping her gently now, pressing into her with the base of her palm as two fingers bookended and plucked at her lower lips. She was piercing her with a look Lena had never seen Kara give anyone—a demandingly wild stare. Who was she to deny the goddess above her? She’d let her do whatever she pleased so long as she didn’t stop making her feel like this. Unencumbered. Unquestionably _good_. 

She managed to breathe out a tiny “Yes, please,” and Kara entered her steadily with two fingers, maintaining eye contact as Lena adjusted to the fullness of her unexpectedly thick digits.

“You okay?” Kara’s voice was rough. Lena had one hand on the wrist joining her to the Kryptonian and another on the flexed shoulder keeping her hovering above. 

“Yes. Yes. More Kara. Please…please…more.” She was too incoherent to explain herself. The fact that she was finally with Kara like this made her dizzy. Kara was _inside_ _her_ , branding the incredible stretch of her fingers into her inner walls. 

Kara leaned herself further into Lena and spoke lovingly as she started pumping slowly. “Shhh baby, you don’t have to beg. I’ll give you what you need.” After a few tentative, exploratory strokes, Kara sped up into a brisk pace, curling her fingers to match the urgent roll of Lena’s hips.

“You look so pretty like this Lena.”

She was very close, having barely come down from her first high, and Kara’s words had her clenching down hard in reaction. Kara wasted no time in a adding a third finger as she must have sensed Lena’s impending climax. She grasped Lena with her available hand and easily lifted erratic hips onto her lap, the new angle allowing her to drive just that much deeper. Lena felt every new centimetre being thrust toward the centre of her being. Her knees were splayed wantonly apart and she felt her throat unleashing high-pitched exaltations with each dragging pass Kara took. One of her hands was thrown up to grasp the pillow beneath her and the other clutched at soft sheets as she tried to hold on to the feelings Kara was drawing from her.

If the first time was deliciously measured and unhurried, the second was comparatively frantic. Kara was staring down at her with wide eyes, panting as if she was the one getting fucked by a superpowered being. The soundtrack of their combined heavy breathing and the litany of vocalisations from Lena was not enough to fully cover the wet sounds of Kara’s hard thrusts into her open body. Lena would hear it in her ears every time she thought of this night. That, and the words Kara spoke so wonderfully to her. 

“So good. You’re doing so good.” She whispered to her like she was sharing a secret and Lena felt it wash over her hotly, causing her to buck arrhythmically into Kara’s strong thrusting hand, spreading herself impossibly wider. Kara’s pupils were dilated, trying to take in the full picture of Lena below her. Her eyes were flitting between Lena’s gasping face, her heaving chest, and the sight of her own fingers disappearing into tight heat.

“Come for me, baby. Let go. I’ve got you.” She felt the pads of Kara’s fingers press insistently against her fluttering front wall with each subsequent stroke and the palm of her hand come up to brush against her clit. That was more than enough, and she quickly came undone again with a now-silent scream, thighs quivering badly. Kara guided her through and down from her high, pumping slowly into her spasming walls before withdrawing completely. Lena moaned at the loss, strands of her arousal clinging to the fingers that had just been inside her.

Through her post-orgasm haze, she watched as those same fingers moved to Kara’s own clit, circling at what must have been an inhuman pace. It didn’t take long, and after a few jerky movements and delectably tensed abs, Kara stilled with a quiet whimper and collapsed on top of her recovering form. They breathed together for a few surreal moments, Kara’s head pillowed on her chest, their hands finding each other through the tangle of limbs. Lena’s knees were still divided, cradling the woman above her. She would need to stretch later. 

Eventually, Kara shifted to the side, pulling Lena in for a deep, probing kiss. She could taste herself faintly on her tongue. Without prompting, Kara gripped her hips and massaged soothingly down into her thighs. 

“Wow. That was…just…wow,” Kara stuttered out, eyes darting across Lena’s blissed out visage. She should have felt proud at rendering the loquacious reporter nearly speechless, but she was too preoccupied with the fully-bared body before her to care about words for the moment.

“I wholeheartedly agree.” Her voice was about an octave deeper than usual and gravelly, like a woman parched in the middle of an arid desert, seeking oasis. She found that she _was_ quite thirsty, but it wasn’t water she was currently seeking.

She propped herself over Kara’s serene face and allowed her fingers to fan out across her sternum, the Kryptonian’s heart still beating madly beneath her palm. Kara had closed her eyes at the action, but they quickly flew open as Lena brushed lightly over her breast and began tracing the faint outline of her abdominals, heading at a lazy pace toward her most sensitive area.

Lena had just reached the neat thatch of blonde hair below her hipline, when Kara gripped her wrist to halt the motion. Lena was taken aback and immediately chastened. Did Kara not like to be touched? Had she violated some sacrosanct Kryptonian code about fucking? She wasn’t operating at full capacity after two mind-shattering orgasms, but she could have sworn the woman below her _wanted_ her. In fact, all of her preceding actions heavily implied it.

Kara must have recognised the panic on Lena’s face for what it was and quickly moved to supress the spiral before it got out of hand.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m good, Lena. It was so easy for me…you’re so, so beautiful when you…” It was strange to see Kara blush about merely saying the word “come” when she had been so articulately filthy as she had brought her there. Twice. “You were perfect. And, I don’t really…It’s hard for me to control my strength when I’m…you know. I don’t want to hurt you. I couldn’t stand it if I hurt you.”

“Oh.” This was an upsetting turn of events. “Are you sure, Kara? I can go slow or, I don’t know, touch you in a particular way?” She knew the disappointment was evident in her voice, but if Kara shared the sentiment, she didn’t let her face betray the emotion. She moved her hand to the relatively safe space just under Kara’s breasts. She’d almost forgotten for a second that Kara wasn’t human, that she was anything other than just _Kara_. It had all felt natural. More natural than it’d ever been for her, if she was honest with herself.

“I can’t risk it, Lena. You’re too important.” Kara pulled her back down so they were facing each other on the pillows once more. A hand was stroking her face as if trying to contain the whirring of her brain, which was currently going into overdrive.

She was not at all pleased with the development, but she was assuaged slightly by Kara’s obvious concern for her well-being above her own. She’d simply have to add this _project_ to her list of things to research. She _would_ be having her way with Kara, even if she had to engineer the means to do so herself.

Resolving to figure out Operation Fuck Kara later, she curled herself into the taller woman, one arm drifting down her rippling back muscles to squeeze a firm ass cheek. Kara squeaked in surprise and pulled back to look into her face with an amused quirk of her lips.

“This isn’t the last you’ll be hearing from me on this matter,” Lena warned with a mock severe tone.

“Hmm,” Kara replied sleepily, eyelids looking like they weighed a ton. Lena wanted to stare at her soft, dozy face forever. The two shared a light-hearted kiss before separating for some semblance of a nighttime routine.

They took turns in the bathroom, readying themselves for their first night together as a couple. The term seemed more appropriate to Lena, now that they had been so intimately joined. It would be slightly hypocritical of her to play coy at a mere label when she’d willingly opened herself up to a much more _invasive_ practice.

Kara offered her an oversized sleep shirt, having donned a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top herself, and, before she could worry over their sleeping arrangements, Lena found herself slotted intuitively in Kara’s arms, her back to the older woman’s front.

“Sweet dreams, Lena.”

She felt Kara press a lingering kiss to the back of her neck, nosing into her hair before quickly nodding off. In her mind, she replayed the evening in detail as she coasted into a state of half-consciousness, hoping that this new step in their relationship would help to quell the self-doubt that still plagued her.


	7. vii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some much needed discussions & putting out fires all over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, I hope you enjoy the latest chapter. Lots of angst but, really, what else would you expect from Lena Luthor?
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJthA4l8S5U
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=f0OrdIKITvSbASn92J7PBg

She couldn’t sleep. Kara had drifted off hours ago and it was now 2:46 a.m. Lena was staring at the ceiling, body exhausted, mind buzzing. The night had gone swimmingly. They had laughed, indulged in domesticity, had _amazing_ sex. Lena had been gazing at the glow-in-the-dark stars on Kara’s ceiling (which, she noted, had been sticky-tacked into the shape of the Corvus constellation) for hours, trying to ascertain what, exactly, was bothering her. Aside from the usual, that is.

She knew that she ought to be overjoyed by the progress in their relationship. Progress she had longed for over the course of their friendship. But she couldn’t abate the nagging apprehension at the back of her mind. The voice (that sounded not unlike Lillian) told her not to get too comfortable, that this had, so far, been _too easy_. This time last year, she had been left heartbroken at Kara’s betrayal, she’d committed fratricide, and she had begun to warp and twist into some version of herself she had sworn she’d never become. A decent meal and a couple of orgasms wasn’t going to reset her system back to Good Lena—the one Kara Danvers thought existed.

A siren blared distantly in the city below them. The arm that was thrown across her stomach began to twitch and Kara’s breathing shifted, becoming shallower. “Lena? Are you okay?” Kara was groggy and concerned, noticing Lena’s wide-awake stare. She was at a loss. She didn’t know the answer to that question.

“I’m fine Kara, go back to sleep.”

Kara was staring at her drowsily. Ignoring her request.

“Lena. What’s wrong?”

At Lena’s continued silence, she asked more forcefully. “You’ve been dodging my questions for weeks. Now it’s the middle of the night and I want to know what you’re thinking.”

She couldn’t tell Kara what she was thinking because she didn’t know how to verbalise her uncertainty. She responded to the question with an uncharacteristic literalness instead.

“I was just thinking…it’s interesting that you chose a constellation named for the raven…Did you know a group of ravens is called a ‘treachery’ or an ‘unkindness’? Seems strange to display an ill omen in your bedroom.”

Kara was visibly struggling to keep up with Lena’s response from her state of sleepiness. She was blinking slowly, adjusting to the darkness. Lena’s eyes stayed glued to the ceiling.

Kara spoke quietly, sensing Lena’s rigidity, as if afraid of the answer to her next question. “Lena what’s going on?” When Lena didn’t reply, Kara let out a small sigh. “I just…I wish we could go back to being _normal_ again. I thought…I want things to be like how they were before between us.”

“What? You want to be friends? Just friends?” Lena snapped, deliberately misinterpreting her words.

Kara rushed to correct herself. “No, _no_. That’s not what I meant. I meant just… _easy_. I want things to be easy. Like they used to be.”

Lena laughed silently to herself. She’d most often been described as difficult, not “easy.” She took on a sarcastic tone, one of the defence mechanisms in her arsenal that she despised most, and decided to lean in to being difficult. “Really? I’d say things have been fairly easy so far. After all, I did just spread my legs for you and let you fuck me to completion _twice_ on the first date.”

The picture of Kara’s face in that moment would have been most at home in a dictionary next to the word “scandalized.” Lena thought her reaction was a bit rich, considering her role in the night’s activities. The duality of Kara never ceased to amaze her.

Kara’s use of the word “normal” to describe their past relationship had triggered something inside Lena. When Kara took too long to respond, she felt a switch flip and she sat up, ramrod straight in bed, glaring down at the bewildered Kryptonian now clumsily mirroring her posture.

“We can’t just go back to the way things were, Kara. And they were never _normal_ , by the way. Unless you think _normal_ is lying to your best friend for _years_ about your secret identity as a superhero.” Her words were heated, dripping with disdain, and she felt herself quickly losing her cool. She hated herself for picking at the scabbing wound, but she was helpless against her own instinct. The fear that their slow healing was somehow already infected usurped her acceptance of the new status quo. “I may have forgiven you, but it still _hurts_. I was devastated by what you did.”

She was tearing up now and was foolishly grateful for the lack of lighting until she remembered that she was in bed with Supergirl. Her subconscious was still clinging to Kara Danvers’ ruse, refusing to see the two halves of Kara Zor-El as one being. It had served her well thus far in their reconciliation, but the fissures in her image of Kara were beginning to show themselves.

Before Kara could respond, Lena barrelled on. She had opened Pandora’s box and she was going to let everything out, all the chaos brewing inside her, even if it killed her. “And don’t pretend like you don’t still harbour any ill will towards me. I used _Kryptonite_ on you for fuck’s sake.”

She was openly crying now, partly in regret at her irrevocable, irredeemable past actions and partly at the shame of exposing herself to Kara in this way. “I don’t even understand why you still want to be _friends_ , let alone…” She waved a hand between them and sniffed wetly. “It’s just hard to believe, after everything I did to you, is all. I know we saved the world together, but maybe we just got caught up in the moment. Is it…is it even worth going through it all again?” She really wished she had a tissue.

Kara was silent for a long time as Lena tried to reel in a gasping sob. She wiped her tears with the end of the long t-shirt Kara had given her. It smelled like Kara when she brought it to her face. For once, the scent was less reassuring than it was suffocating.

“We were best friends for years and now you- you want to what? Just throw it all away?” Kara was absolutely shocked. Like she’d never even viewed a clean break as an option. Like she’d never had someone ripped from her life while they were still living.

“No. _Kara Danvers_ was my best friend. But you’re not _just_ Kara Danvers, are you? You’re this whole other person and you _hid_ that from me.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. She heard herself steer them into the groove of the familiar argument. She closed her eyes and willed herself to veer away from that path. “We’ve already discussed this. Many times. And I’ve forgiven you Kara, truly, I have.”

“You say it was for my protection, but what you still don’t realise is that I never needed your protection. Not from physical threats. There’s an assassination attempt on me four times a year.” She laughed derisively. “I can develop technology to protect my body from harm. I can outsmart any supervillain—I just defeated the greatest genius in the universe. What I can’t protect myself from is someone who I revealed _all_ of myself to, someone who took my biggest weakness—my fear of betrayal—and exploited it. Someone who _broke my heart_.” She took a breath, already accepting Kara’s inevitably painful response. “And now you want to just _carry on_ with our relationship as if that didn’t happen.”

Kara’s eyes were watering and Lena had to resist the urge to grab her hand. When she finally responded, it was in a small, broken voice that couldn’t be further from Supergirl’s. “I just can’t- I can’t imagine a world where you’re not in my life. And even if that’s just as friends-”

“I don’t want to be friends, Kara.” She looked straight ahead, declining to clarify. Her throat was sore from trying to explain herself. She’d been doing it nonstop for her entire life. Forced to explain her motives, her actions, her place in the Luthor household. To explain why she deserved to be allowed to live without scrutiny. She’d never had to explain herself to Kara before tonight. Not since she’d nixed the alien detection device, choosing Kara’s side. She was exhausted. Alone.

“I’ve been depressed and so lonely this year without you. Lena-” She had reached out to grasp Lena’s hand, but the Luthor withdrew in anger before she could finish her thought.

“ _You’ve_ been lonely?! You have your sister. You have your mother, your friends— _our_ friends, which you conveniently got in the ‘divorce.’ And what was I left with? An insane brother and a flimsy science experiment that didn’t even work. You want to tell me about loneliness? The L in L-Corp might as well _stand_ for ‘lonely.’ I’m a Luthor. I’ve never had anyone.” She was shaking her head now, her anger turning into resignation. “I should have known. Three years of being spoiled by your attention only to have it ripped away for a year of emptiness.” 

When she chanced a look back at Kara, she saw an expression she’d never seen directed her way. The tears were still building up in her eyes, but her brows were set in a furrow that she’d only seen Supergirl wear. Kara was _angry_. She spoke with unnerving calm, containing the bulk of her emotion behind her teeth.

“You don’t get to tell me about loneliness, Lena. You’re not the only one who’s been lonely. You want to know about the part of my life that you missed? Well, when Krypton blew up—after I watched my _home_ be destroyed—my pod flew off course and I was stuck in the Phantom Zone where time didn’t pass for 24 years. For 24 years I was stuck in a state of being half awake, half asleep, not knowing where I was or whether I’d get out. And when I finally made it to Earth, the only living relative I had—the only person I knew in the _world_ —didn’t even want me. He gave me to the Danvers, who were very welcoming, but they weren’t my family. Not at first. And I was _so_ alone. It took me a few days to learn English, but even once I could communicate with them, I was so different. Too alien. Alex never wanted a sister. Especially not one who embarrassed her at school because she couldn’t fit in.”

Kara was crying now too, and Lena’s heart was wrenching at having been the one to dredge up these painful memories. She regretted putting the tear tracks on Kara’s cheeks, but she was greedily eating up the new scraps of information about her youth. 

“I was the freak who needed a note to get out of P.E. because I popped too many basketballs. I pretended to get answers wrong in math and science because my test scores would’ve been suspicious. You want to tell me about loneliness? Try hiding in plain sight for your entire life.”

She wiped the tears from her face and, at last, joined their hands, re-establishing a physical connection. “Lena, you say you didn’t really know me, but you know me better than anyone. I never had to pretend to be anything other than myself with you. You had no expectations. You just saw Kara. Everyone else knew or found out about Supergirl, and with that comes a whole set of baggage. You didn’t know I could fly, but you knew more important things…And now you’re telling me that, not only do I not understand you, but that you don’t even think our friendship or _whatever it is_ , is worth saving? I thought…after everything we’d been through, after everything you’ve accomplished…I guess I just didn’t think you’d give up so easily. You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”

The last bit was said with a sad smile, and for once Lena didn’t feel slighted at being cast in that light. Before she could try to cultivate a response, Kara was continuing on with her gut-wrenching speech.

“We said we’d be honest with each other, but every time I look at you, I see you hiding things behind your eyes. You’re not saying everything you’re thinking. And I’m trying to give you space, but I’m worried about you. And I want to know everything about you, Lena. _Everything_. But it doesn’t feel like you want me to.” 

Lena swallowed hard. Her mouth was dry as she tried to speak. She should have known that Kara’s abilities extended beyond those given to her by the yellow sun. She was extremely perceptive and tuned in to her every carefully-masked emotion, it seemed.

“Maybe…Maybe it’s just not right. Maybe we missed our chance. Even if it’s what we both want, it might not be worth it.” It sounded feeble to her own ears, but she felt that she had to mount at least one more defence, to give Kara one more out.

Kara was pleading now, tears still falling. “I just want you to be happy, Lena. You deserve to be happy. And…and _I_ really want to be happy. You make me happy. We can take it at whatever pace you want. Is it- is this because we’re moving too fast?” 

“Everything is moving too fast _and_ too slow.” She gripped the hands in hers and forced herself to continue. “Kara, I’ve wanted you for years, since before I knew you were Supergirl. So forgive me if it takes a bit longer for my mind to catch up to where my body’s at.”

Kara nodded, worriedly. “Do you…do you regret last night?”

Lena looked up at Kara, taking in the woman who had lost her entire world and survived many times over. Who had difficulty fitting in and who struggled to feel at home. Maybe this woman was just as broken as her, if not more so. Kara was fidgeting, not meeting her eyes. This was perhaps the most vulnerable Lena had ever seen her. Lena softened, ever attuned to Kara’s mood and empathetically reflecting it in her own.

She spoke in a whisper. “No. I don’t regret it. I don’t think I could ever regret being close to you.” _Even if it means it hurts sometimes_. She felt a heavy weight lift with the realisation. The way forward was clear, now that she had accepted the terms of their relationship. The benefits outweighed the costs. It was as simple as that. Her business mind had made sense of things for her.

Kara took Lena’s admission as an invitation to finally say what she’d been trying to say for weeks. What she’d been subliminally communicating for years. “I love you, Lena.” And she said it with such conviction that Lena couldn’t even try to deny it, even to herself. They met in the middle of the bed with a tentative kiss. It was mostly just a slotting of lips together. They fell into place effortlessly. When they pulled back, Kara drew Lena into her lap for an all-encompassing hug.

Lena felt a swooping sensation in her stomach. She had expelled as much of her inner poison as she could. Nevertheless, Kara persisted in loving her. The being holding her tightly in her arms had so much goodness and love to give. The fact that she so willingly doled it out to an undeserving soul such as herself was much more a reflection of Kara’s unwavering magnanimity and utter _light_ than it was of any quality she possessed. Maybe she was now selfishly ready to begin embracing it.

She tickled the fine hairs on Kara’s arms and, with a self-deprecating chuckle, relayed her observation. “Honestly, the fact that you see anything in me worth loving is testament to how absolutely incredible you are. You always see the best in people.” She had meant it as a compliment, but Kara’s stillness indicated that her comment was received with something other than bashful acceptance.

For once, Kara abandoned the direct approach and circled back to the topic Lena had begun the early morning with. Readjusting them so they were lying down, Lena’s head on her chest, Kara spoke softly. “Krypton used to orbit the red dwarf planet LHS 2520. It was in the constellation of Corvus. That’s why I’ve got it on the ceiling. It helps me have some perspective. And it helps me remember where I come from.” She was stroking Lena’s hair as she spoke, and Lena found herself being lulled by the soothing gesture and by the rhythm of Kara’s soft voice.

“You might view ravens as negative symbols, but I think they get a bad rap. They have a prickly exterior, but they’re confident and inquisitive creatures. Everybody knows that they’re intelligent, but they’re also really playful. They like to make toys, and they tease other animals. They’re also empathetic, which is hard to prove in non-human animals. They’ll console their friends after they lose in a fight.”

Lena was almost asleep now, but Kara tilted her chin up to speak the last of her soliloquy to her face. “It is _so_ easy to love you, Lena. And it’s not because I’m some kind of saint. It’s because you’re the best person I know. It was so easy to fall in love with you that I didn’t even realise I’d done it.”

Lena was crying again, but they weren’t sad, frustrated tears, like before. She was crying because Kara had shown her that she’d seen her, _really_ seen her. She’d glimpsed her self-loathing, her difficulty in accepting love, her reluctance to trust again, but she was still holding her and telling her that she loved her—all of her bullshit included. When others saw an evil Luthor who was beyond saving, Kara deked around her hard exterior and looked directly at her.

In the past, the heat of Kara’s gaze would have made Lena want to scurry into a dark corner and hide out until she gave up and looked elsewhere. But now, with Kara staring into her watery eyes with pure affection, being the subject of scrutiny wasn’t like being needled under a microscope. It was like she had been plucked off a cluttered shelf, dusted off, and polished—her fine imperfections on display, celebrated by a meticulous curator. Kara’s inner circle comprised some of the finest individuals that humans and aliens had to offer. And Kara had handpicked _her_ to be by her side. To say she was overwhelmed would be an understatement.

Kara absorbed her tears with her lips, leaving lingering kisses on her cheeks. She whispered once more, just as Lena was about to finally doze off. “I love you, Lena.”

She couldn’t be sure, but Lena thought her mouth had moved of its own accord, settling into a smile.

~ ~ ~

Lena awoke to an empty bed that was still slightly warm. Kara must have gotten up not too long ago. She appreciated the time alone to mull over everything that had happened last night. She actually felt okay for once. Kara now knew everything she needed to know about how Lena felt about their relationship. And she still said that she loved her. That was going to take some getting used to.

Chilled without the walking heat source that was Kara, Lena crawled back into the NCU sweater and wandered out into the living area after freshening up in the bathroom. Kara had collected their haphazardly strewn clothing and folded Lena’s items neatly on the chair in her room. The Kryptonian was absent from the apartment. Before Lena could fully experience the lurch at being ditched after such an intimate evening, Kara came flying in through the balcony, carrying a thermal bag.

“Morning Lena! Sorry, I thought I’d be back before you woke up. I was only gone 14 minutes.” She placed her bounty on the counter and supersped into regular clothes before greeting Lena with a quick kiss.

Kara had procured her favourites: coffee éclairs from Paris, cappuccino from Milan, scones from Dublin. She was laying out the treats on the island for Lena, who came up behind her and wrapped her arms around the blonde. She didn’t want Kara to see her pleased blush. It was one thing for Kara to fetch her foods from around the world when they were just friends, but now the gesture felt crushingly romantic. Her Luthor indoctrination reared its ugly head, urging her usual defence of accepting a gift as if it was expected and owed to her. That type of attitude was useful when closing a business deal, but not ideal for interpersonal relationships. She stopped herself from thanking Kara too profusely, pendulum swinging too far in the opposite direction. Finally, she opted to simply acknowledge the gesture with gratitude and vowed to put an end to her overthinking Kara’s every move.

“Kara, this is lovely.” She was speaking into the back of her neck. “I hope you know you don’t have to do this. I don’t need a cosmopolitan smorgasbord for every meal.”

Kara turned around in her arms and hugged her tightly. “I know baby, but it doesn’t take me that long, and you don’t get to have your favourite foods that often. It’s a nice treat.”

Lena’s blush darkened another couple of shades at the pet name. It was one thing for Kara to say it while they were in the throes of passion, in a dark bedroom, alone, but hearing it out in broad daylight would take some practice. 

Unfortunately, Kara misread her reaction and backpedalled. “Oh, sorry. I don’t have to call you that if you don’t like it, Lena.” It seemed Kara’s confidence from last night didn’t fully carry over to the morning.

“No. Um… I like it.” She mumbled. She loathed her timidity in that moment, but she found she actually _wanted_ Kara to know. Though it was extraordinarily embarrassing for her to admit to enjoying such a _stupid_ pet name, she did want Kara to keep using it. The confession was also aided by the fact that she suspected Kara knew this anyway, especially after last night.

“What was that?” Kara asked innocently, but Lena didn’t fall for it. She knew who she was talking to. 

“I know you heard me Supergirl. Don’t make me say it again.” She shoved off from the solid body before her and took up her usual seat at the island, diving into an éclair.

Kara joined her a moment later and began indulging in her share of pastries, telling Lena about how she’d gotten to Café Rue Serret just in time to grab enough éclairs (17—two for Lena, 15 for herself) before they ran out. Lena gathered that the shop owners both appreciated and dreaded their visits from Supergirl. She left a string of unsatisfied customers in her wake, but countered their disgruntlement with the flash of a bright smile and a photo op.

They were laughing, sitting close together at the island and tasting the sweet remnants of the éclairs on each other’s lips when Alex Danvers suddenly barged through her sister’s door without ceremony. 

“Okay Kara, enough’s enough, we need to- Oh shit!” Alex’s jaw had dropped as the door shut behind her. Lena and Kara were frozen on the spot, the three of them in a stare-off that lasted a few beats before Lena grabbed one of her precious treats and held it up as a peace offering. “Scone?”

Kara grasped her available hand in reassurance, but before she could speak a word to her sister, her head tilted to the side and determination overtook her features. Lena recognized the action as Kara listening to an emergency off in the distance. A brief flash of childishness made her want to cling to Kara and force her to deal with the emergency _here_ , but she quashed it down. The problem seemed serious, judging by Kara’s expression, and she was more than capable of conversing with Alex on her own.

“Go on, Supergirl. We’ll be here when you get back.” She forced herself to ignore the still-gaping elder Danvers and delivered a parting kiss to Kara’s cheek.

She blinked and the hero was wearing her supersuit. Kara shared a tense look with her sister before flying out into the city.

Alex let out an exasperated sigh, joining Lena at the island. She perused the brunette’s outfit (or lack thereof) and arched a sardonic brow. “I thought you went to MIT?”

~ ~ ~

Kara heard her sister’s comment as she sped out of her loft and toward the raging fire that was currently terrorizing an apartment complex across town. She hated leaving Lena to explain everything on her own, but people needed her. She heard the worried wails of a mother separated from her son, paramedics shouting as they tried to revive an elderly man who had inhaled too much smoke, the whimpers of a little girl who was trapped in her bedroom. She owed all of these individuals her time and attention. What kind of person would she be if she heard all of this life-altering despair and did nothing to stop it? Especially since she was an intruder on this planet. An intruder gifted with powers that could help spare them.

She landed outside the blazing building and, taking direction from the firefighters on the scene, she flew inside. She used her x-ray vision to locate those who needed saving and to judge the best point of entry in order to cause as little structural damage as possible. She operated under a sensory overload. She heard deafening sirens approaching. She felt flames licking at her fireproof suit. She smelled the sickening stench of burnt hair. She burst through walls to reach her targets and deposited them safely on the damp grass outside, repeating her quest again and again. She would keep going back in until everyone was safe. She was moving on autopilot, her mind clear. She couldn’t stop to worry over the fate of each rescuee or of those she was too late to save. Doing so would only distract her, making her too emotional to complete the task at hand.

She used her freeze breath to facilitate her progress, subduing the fires inside. It would be too late to save the building from collapse, given the extent of the damage. Once everyone was clear of the building, she helped the firefighters take out the rest of the blaze. She shook hands with the fire chief (a no-nonsense woman who reminded Kara of Colonel Haley) and flew skyward to hover over the city, checking for anything she may have missed, for other emergencies or crimes that she could resolve while she was out.

Supergirl had been extremely busy over the past few weeks, but the crime rate was slowing to a pace that was near-manageable for law enforcement. Kara had been taking on extra missions, small things that didn’t really require her attention. She had been matching Lena’s long hours. If they were both preoccupied, then there was no reason to worry that the Luthor might be avoiding her. She closed her eyes and listened harder, honing in on Lena’s heartbeat, which was healthy, but quicker than usual. Thank god she had decided to broach the subject. They were in a much better place now.

The other reason for her overcompensation was Alex. She hadn’t had a proper conversation with her sister since she had accused Kara of acting selfishly in saving Lena. They had teamed up while fighting crime occasionally and had shared a few awkward meals under Kelly’s supervision, but hadn’t discussed that night.

Her hands were shaking. She’d first noticed the trembling after a recent rescue. An attempted suicide. A woman had jumped off a bridge. It was the first time she hadn’t been thanked by a survivor. After she had dropped the woman off at the hospital, she had thought back to a discussion she’d had with Lena about her experiments with the Harun-El. About the spider in the bathtub and whether it should be saved, drowned or left alone. The mission had left her feeling uncomfortable. Unfulfilled. Itchy. She didn’t bring it up with Lena. Somehow, she knew what the brunette would say.

After another moment of solitude, she headed directly back to her apartment, hoping Lena and her sister were playing nice. She already felt at ease knowing she would soon be in Lena’s presence. The gradual repair of their relationship had been Kara’s only source of comfort recently. It felt good to be rebuilding into something new and sturdy, and it was satisfying to see actual progress on that front.

Her time away had only lasted half an hour, but she felt shattered. Like she’d been unceasingly putting out fires for years.

~ ~ ~

“I thought you went to MIT?”

Lena swallowed. Alex wasn’t an idiot. She could put two and two together. Lena was half naked in Kara’s apartment in the early morning, wearing her alma mater’s sweater, and drinking a cappuccino out of a cup with cursive Italian writing. Finally, and most incriminatingly, she had seen them kissing.

“We’ve been keeping it quiet while we figure things out, but Kara and I are together.”

“And how long has this been going on?” Alex didn’t seem surprised in the slightest. She had adopted the unshakable voice she used to question suspects, and Lena understood now how effective it could be.

“Since…the day after we defeated Leviathan.” Kara had said she’d kept things to herself but Lena had assumed that excluded her sister. She sensed a slight sadness in Alex’s eyes at the revelation that it’d been nearly a month and Kara hadn’t said anything to her.

“And how long has it _really_ been going on? For you?” She squirmed as Alex pulled no punches. She had a hard glint in her eye.

Lena lifted her chin and replied directly. She wouldn’t be shamed for her feelings, if that’s what Alex was trying to do. “Since Supergirl saved me from Lillian, after I’d been falsely imprisoned. She swooped in and said ‘Kara Danvers believes in you’ with her perfect hair and face and…I’d never had anyone believe in me like that before.”

Alex nodded, as if this confirmed her theory for the case. “So that’s about when you filled her entire office with flowers, right?”

“Don’t pretend like you’ve known this whole time, Alex. You had barely even realised your own sexuality at that point.” 

“No. I didn’t clue in to your feelings until recently, actually, when I was made aware of Kara’s. She risked her life and the lives of the entire city to save you. I knew that wasn’t just _friendship_.” She took a bite out of a scone, her face lighting up in pleasant surprise, nodding slightly in Lena’s direction, in deference to her tastes. “Also, she never shuts up about you. Like, ever.”

“I-”

“Seriously. It’s been four years and she’s never so much as allowed someone to _think_ a negative thought about you, Luthor. It was basically censorship. _1984_ , Thought Police-type shit.” She was munching on her scone and sipping Kara’s abandoned cappuccino. She was clearly building to something. Lena wished she would get to the point. Ironically, Alex’s casualness about the revelation was putting her on edge. 

“So…”

“So here’s the thing. I know my sister is basically invincible, but…you have to promise me you won’t hurt her. And I don’t mean with Kryptonite, Lena.” Alex had finished her scone and was looking at Lena beseechingly. “She’s been through hell and she’s had shitty relationships. I know _we_ haven’t always seen eye-to-eye, but I think you two could actually make it work. As long as you don’t fuck it up, that is. And, if you do, know that I _will_ kick your ass.”

Lena quirked her lips as she sipped the remains of her cappuccino. “I’d like to see you try, Danvers.” Placing her cup down, she faced Alex head on. “The last thing I want is to hurt her any more than I already have. I’m shit at relationships, but so far she’s been good enough for the both of us.” Hearing how that sounded she added, “I’m doing my best. Really.”

“Good. Now that I’ve done my sisterly duties…” She stepped off her stool and yanked Lena into a brief hug. It was so fleeting that Lena would have thought she’d imagined it were it not for the awkwardness that lingered between them when Alex pulled back.

“Alex Danvers gives hugs?”

“She does. If they’re deserved. And you looked like you needed one.” She was rifling through the bag, searching for more scones. Lena pushed her plate forward with the remaining half of hers.

“Wow. And here I thought you were actually going to kill me for sleeping with your sister.”

“Hey. I still might.” But the comment had no heat. She had already consumed the volunteered scone. “But you’re kinda like a sister to me too, you know. A freakishly smart, moody, pale sister with a slight Irish accent. I’ve taken in weirder strays though.” Alex shrugged like she hadn’t just revived a piece of Lena’s heart that had died long ago, when she realised Lex would never be the brother she needed. That’d been 20 years ago.

Lena’s eyes had teared up slightly, but they both ignored it, and Alex carried on. “And, you know. If Kara hurts _you_ , I’ll kick _her_ ass. I know, I know, indestructible Girl of Steel. Whatever. I grew up with her, I know her weak spots.” Was this what a sibling relationship was meant to be like? Unconditional promises of love intermingled with vague threats of violence? She supposed it must be. At any rate, this was much better than Lex’s version: Explicit threats of violence and conditional favours. No love to speak of. 

Alex must have sensed the emotion rising in Lena because she was quick to cut the tension, commenting on her makeup-free complexion. “So…your face just…looks like that? Your brows they just…” She shook her head and drained Kara’s cappuccino. “You can kindly fuck off, Luthor.”

Lena laughed at her morose expression. “Oh please. Like you’ve had _any_ difficulty in pulling only the hottest women.” She rose to toss her empty cup into the recycling bin and heard Alex chuckling behind her.

Just then, Kara reappeared, smelling of smoke and looking like she’d just been dragged through hell. She muttered “shower” and sped off into the bathroom. Lena and Alex exchanged a worried glance, but they didn’t have time to dissect her behaviour, as the Kryptonian was re-emerging in a record 40 seconds. Lena was wildly envious of her expediency. 

She rejoined them at the island, where Lena was still standing, looking totally refreshed and bubbly as ever. Kara was looking between the two, clearly trying to assess the content of their discussion. She leaned in to give Lena a tender kiss before shovelling the last éclair into her face. Her mouth was still cool and tasted like freeze breath. Lena shivered at the memory of the last time she’d used it. 

“Was just a fire. Everyone’s safe. Got back as soon as I could.” Kara said while chewing behind her hand. Lena noticed Alex’s silence as she watched Kara eat and decided it was best she take her leave and let the Danvers sisters hash it out.

She squeezed Kara’s arm and ducked behind the curtain of her room to pull on her jeans and grab her purse. Kara was looking questioningly at her upon her return.

“I think I should let you two talk. Thank you again for breakfast, darling. Call me later?” She tucked Kara’s damp hair behind her ear and placed her lips at her temple, breathing in the fresh smell of her shampoo.

“Yep! Bye. I love you! I mean…” Kara reached up to fiddle with glasses she wasn’t wearing. It seemed Alex’s presence was quite disconcerting for her. “I’ll call you.” She finished meekly, accepting a peck on the head. 

Lena glared at Alex, who looked thoroughly unimpressed by her sister’s behaviour. Just as she was opening the door to leave, Alex shouted after her.

“Double date. You two, and me and Kelly. Tomorrow night at my place. Clear your schedule Luthor and bring some of your fancy wine!” Lena nodded, giving her a mock salute and amending her gesture to blow a kiss toward Kara once Alex had turned back to face the blonde.

She whispered back to the Kryptonian from the other side of her front door, knowing she’d hear her. “Alex loves you. She’s fine with us. Relax, and let me know how it goes later.” 

~ ~ ~

“So you’ve been dating Lena Luthor for three weeks and I have to find out by walking in on you the morning after you’ve clearly fucked?”

Kara winced at her sister’s directness. She was tired, starving, and already missing Lena, and now she had to deal with an interrogation from a former DEO agent. Just great.

“I guess _technically_ it’s been three weeks, but we only really solidified things last night.”

“Is that some kind of euphemism for sex?” Kara really hated Alex’s crudeness sometimes.

“What? No! I mean…we _did_ have sex. And it was…wow.” At Alex’s impatient eye roll she rushed to complete her thought. “We sorted out our feelings. I told her I love her. We’re going to actually do this.” She couldn’t contain her glee at the reminder that Lena Luthor was her _girlfriend_.

Alex pretended to gag. “You sure move fast. You know, considering I didn’t even know you _liked_ women. Now you’ve gone and fallen in love and ‘ _solidified things_ ’ with your girlfriend. Congratulations.” 

Ah. It was clear now that Alex wasn’t just upset about being kept in the dark for the three weeks since Leviathan. She was hurt on a much deeper level.

She distracted herself with the empty scone bags in front of her while responding. “I’ve…I’ve always been pansexual. On Krypton, things were different…”

“And it never occurred to you to mention this to me? Not even when I was struggling with my own shit? Not even when I _came out_ to you?!” Alex snatched the bags from her grasp and crumpled them into a brown paper ball.

“I didn’t want to make that about me. It was about you and _your_ self-discovery.” 

“That’s pretty weak, Kara. It would have helped me _so_ much at that time to know that you weren’t straight.”

Her stomach was grumbling steadily now, but she knew she couldn’t eat until she apologised. She was chagrined by her own secretiveness. Alex deserved to know her sister.

“I’m sorry, Alex. You’re right. I should have told you then.”

“So why didn’t you? Have you been secretly dating people that I’m not aware of? I feel like you’ve hidden this giant thing.”

“I…I just never thought it would come up. I never actually thought I’d find someone on Earth…to be with. So it didn’t matter who I liked. It’s not like it’s easy for me to just…tell people I’m an alien. It makes things complicated…”

Alex looked supremely unconvinced. She was waiting for Kara to continue.

“I think that’s why I was trying to make things work with James, or even with Mon-El, to a certain extent. I didn’t have to explain anything to them and they accepted me, knowing I am who I am. I _did_ love Mon-El…but…I think on some level it was more convenient than anything.”

Alex was silent. She still wasn’t seeing the full picture, if the way her lips were pursed was any indication. Kara still felt guilty at having been so cagey about her sexuality. But it was an awkward topic to be discussing with her sister. 

“With Mon-El…I didn’t have to worry about my strength, or about telling him I was Supergirl. It just happened, and then we carried on and…it was nice. It truly didn’t occur to me to just randomly blurt out to you that I am also attracted to women. I never thought I’d actually ever be dating one.”

It seemed Alex was beginning to absorb and accept what she was saying. She knew her sister though, and it would take a while before she fully got over the omission. They normally shared everything. Well, just about everything.

Alex took aim at the topic Kara had been dancing around. “I guess the superstrength thing _would_ be stressful to deal with in bed…Not to mention your other powers…Oh my god. Do you use your powers in bed? Don’t answer that.” She threw the paper ball in the direction of Kara’s head, covering her own eyes as if from the mental image she had just inadvertently conjured. 

Kara’s face was hot with embarrassment as she let the ball hit her. It was literally the _least_ she could do to make it up to Alex. She hurried to spit out the rest of her thoughts on the matter so they could move on to something less uncomfortable.

“I’ve never met someone I trusted enough to tell my secret, so I just…made do. Lena is the first person I’ve actually wanted to tell everything to. Who I knew wouldn’t judge me. And I told her I was Supergirl before I even knew I had feelings for her…I guess I should have realised sooner…”

Alex was contemplative but didn’t respond for a while. Kara regretted not having discussed this with her sister before, but at least she knew now.

“So…Lena…” Alex was leaving the floor open for Kara to take their talk where she wanted—a tactic Kara had often seen her use on criminal aliens.

“Yeah. I…Yeah. I think I’ve always been a little bit in love with her.”

“You think?” Alex was smirking now, and Kara felt they had reached a safe point in their conversation for her to finally do something to conquer her hunger pangs. She pulled out some leftover pizza from the fridge (she had ordered an extra pie explicitly for this purpose) and began eating it cold. Alex declined the slice offered to her. “Kara, it’s 9:30 a.m.”

She didn’t know why Alex was mentioning the early hour. She ignored the comment and opened the dam holding back her gushing thoughts about Lena.

“Alex I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time. She’s just amazing. Well, we already knew that. But she’s even _more_ amazing than I thought. She’s perfect, and cute, and sexy. And she kisses really well. And I just want to fly over to her apartment and wrap her up in a blanket and carry her around with me.”

Alex was rubbing at her eyes like she couldn’t tolerate much more of this saccharine shower of praise. But she didn’t speak, so Kara continued on through a mouthful of pizza like she hadn’t noticed her sister’s exasperation.

“And we’ve been taking things slow, but she really opened up to me last night, Alex. Oops, not like that. I meant _emotionally_. Don’t tell her I said that. Oh, and please don’t tell anyone about us yet. We’re still keeping things quiet. I don’t think she’s used to being very public about her relationships. And I like it being just our thing for now.”

“Fine. I won’t tell anyone if you promise to _please_ shut up. I thought you were bad when the two of you were just friends. I can’t believe I didn’t realise you were queer sooner.” She was shaking her head at her own ignorance. “I _will_ be telling Kelly though, obviously.”

“Yeah, yes, of course.” Kara nodded enthusiastically.

“I don’t get why you’re being so secretive though. Lena was very confident about it. She was joking around. She seemed totally fine to me.”

“She’s good at that.”

“What?”

“Seeming fine.”

She was relieved her sister was onboard with their relationship. She wasn’t sure how she’d react after their fight at the Tower. It had been nagging at her since, and she wanted to know more about how her sister had been dealing with the aftermath. She said as much to Alex.

Alex sighed. “I just couldn’t believe you’d risk so much to save one person. That’s when I realised you must be in love with her. I’d never seen you behave that way. It was kind of scary, Kara.”

“I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t think it was fair. That she would have to die. I wanted it to be me instead. I know that’s… a lot.”

“You can’t save everyone all the time Kara. Don’t get me wrong, I’m _so_ relieved that she’s okay and that you’re okay and that we’re _all_ okay. But…it’s also okay if you don’t always save the day, you know?”

No, she didn’t know. If she didn’t save the day, then what was the point of her being here? She was Supergirl. It was her job. She nodded along anyway.

“Do you think maybe you’ve been…overdoing it lately? You seemed…rattled, when you flew in just now from that fire.”

“I’m fine Alex. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Lex is going to be in jail for the rest of his life. We’re all safe and sound. I get to kiss Lena whenever I want, with her consent. Everything is perfect.”

Alex looked sceptical but she dropped the subject. Kara was thankful for that. Because if she couldn’t be totally happy now that she had everything she could possibly want, then what did that say about her?

She picked up the paper ball from the floor and recycled it dutifully, along with the empty pizza box. She knew her role on this planet and she was lucky to get to play it. She didn’t need to prove anything to Alex. She was Supergirl. She was strong enough to deal with attacks on Earth _and_ tend to her girlfriend’s turbulent emotions. She would manage. 


	8. viii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double date with Alex & Kelly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all are a fan of angst. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tl3zhbWrBY 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=WIavBUv3QoqYxRKxTtN2zg

Kara didn’t fully know why, but she was nervous for dinner with Alex and Kelly. She was obsessively cleaning every inch of her apartment _sans_ superspeed, trying to kill time before the agreed upon 6:00 p.m. sharp. She was meeting Lena at Alex’s, as the CEO had to put out a fire with the construction of the LuthorCorp building. Kara hoped she wasn’t delayed for too long. She checked her watch. 5:37. Far too early to drop in on her sister and her girlfriend. She imagined Kelly was currently trying to salvage whatever Alex had audaciously attempted for dinner, and that the two would soon abandon the endeavour in favour of ordering take-out. She willed them telepathically to order Thai. Lena loved the Hor Mok Ma Prow Awn from Thaifoon’s. They would have just enough time to discard the evidence of the aborted meal if Kara flew in at 5:49. Which meant she could leave at 5:48.

Sure, she and Alex weren’t currently on the best of terms, but they’d stumbled over rocky roads before and emerged together, all the better for it. If they could get past the atrocious actions and words that were borne from the Red Kryptonite debacle, Kara was certain they would survive a small blip on the topic of her apparently surprising sexuality. Alex seriously had the _worst_ gaydar.

She was also nervous on Lena’s behalf. The brunette had confided in her this morning over the phone that she wanted the dinner to go as smoothly as possible and that she feared a cross-table psychoanalysis from Kelly. She didn’t think there was any cause for concern on that front; Kelly was quite respectful of boundaries, and Lena’s were erected with electric fencing, barbed wire, and a flashing neon sign that read WARNING: DO NOT TOUCH. She understood Lena’s perspective though. Alex could be scary. And, even with her girlfriend there to soften her rough edges, the redhead would certainly not be passing up the opportunity to get in a few poking jabs at her sister and her new girlfriend. Kara didn’t usually mind her teasing, but she worried that Lena—lovely, wonderful, _sensitive_ Lena—would take an errant comment to heart. She was quickly learning that the depths behind the Luthor’s eyes contained wells of emotion that extended even further into vast oceans of pain, doubt, and self-preservation. She longed to change that. To make the armour of her immaculate eyeliner and blood red lipstick unnecessary, and purely ornamental.

That task would take more than one evening, however. It would likely take months. Years, even. This was a project that could not be expedited by superspeed. In fact, she planned to take a methodical, painstaking approach. If only she knew where to start.

5:45. _Close enough_. She jetted out of her apartment and landed in the alley behind Alex’s apartment precisely a minute later. She was midway through pleasantries with one of the residents leaving the building when she got a text from Alex asking for Lena’s Thai order. Shooting off a quick response, she ambled leisurely up the stairs to her sister’s unit. For some reason she didn’t feel like facing the pair on her own. She was more adept at parrying Alex’s probing remarks with Lena there, her steady heartbeat working as a metronome to stabilize her own.

She arrived at the 16th floor just as the elevator doors opened up to reveal Lena, looking anxious but impeccable in a dark, patterned blouse and a black skirt. Her mood lifted instantly.

“Lena!” The younger woman paused on her way to Alex’s door, waiting for Kara to join her. Kara could taste her nerves on her uncharacteristically unyielding lips.

“What are the odds that Supergirl will have to leave in the middle of dinner?” Not the greeting she was expecting. Taking in the way Lena was fidgeting with her hands, she knew her tone was less accusatory than a product of anxiety at being left alone again. 

“She’ll try very hard not to, unless it’s a true crisis.” Lena still looked to be on edge, but Kara pulled them to the door anyway.

Sucking in a breath, Lena knocked politely at the door, clutching the bag with the bottles of wine she’d brought to her chest. Kara wished she could wipe away the nervous energy resonating off the brunette but she found herself vibrating at the same frequency. Since when had a dinner date with her sister and Kelly become such an ordeal? It wasn’t just that she was bringing her new girlfriend with her. She knew Lena could handle just about any situation she was thrown into. No, this felt like volunteering herself for a medical examination, or flying into an alien takedown with insufficient back-up. She didn’t want to discuss sore subjects. And those were piling up like casualties between her and her sister.

The door opened and they were greeted by a cheerful Kelly, who gifted them with matching hugs. “Come in, come in! It’s about time, by the way. I’ve been pestering Alex to have you two over for ages. And no, I’m not surprised you’re together.” 

Kara forced her pessimistic thoughts away. These people loved and supported her. And Lena. So why was her fight or flight instinct urging her toward the latter? 

~ ~ ~

They were midway through their meal from Thaifoon’s before Kara felt Lena relax beside her. The delicious food and the cozy atmosphere of Alex’s tiny apartment made the whole thing feel quite intimate without the conversation bordering on being too personal. They’d stuck to “safe” topics so far, and Kara suspected that the mounting number of finished wine glasses amongst the four of them was greatly contributing to Lena’s growing ease. The pale woman had taken on a rosy hue that made Kara’s stomach swirl pleasantly, remembering just how many ways there were to achieve that tinge, and the last time she had seen it appear on Lena’s cheeks (and beyond). 

She must have been too transparent with her intermittent staring, because the next time she looked up from her long-demolished quadruple Pad Thai and Tom Yum Goong, Alex was subtly shaking her head and Kelly was sporting a delighted smile. The pleasant chatter was waning with the wine, though, and she wracked her brain for an anecdote about the latest episode of _Killing Eve_. _Shoot_. She remembered now that had left just 15 minutes in to stop a burglary. 

Lena, who was all but professionally trained in carrying a conversation, picked up the thread as a lull settled across the table for slightly too long. “So, Kelly, how are you enjoying your new position at Obsidian? Eve has told me that you’ve already implemented some important changes with the ethics review process.” She was pouring herself another glass—her fifth? That couldn’t be right. Kara must’ve counted wrong. She knew most human women of Lena’s size would be noticeably tipsy after two, maybe three glasses. Lena was as composed as ever.

“Oh, I’m loving it so far. It feels great to _finally_ be involved with the more nuanced aspects of VR. My title is technically Clinical Ethicist but the new CEO has me weighing in on all stages of the new trials. It’s been a huge relief, after being kept in the dark for so long by Leviathan’s interference.”

“And how is the new CEO working out? Her CV was quite impressive from what I remember.” Lena seemed genuinely interested in hearing about Obsidian, beyond her stake in the company. It _was_ fascinating tech, when it wasn’t being co-opted for world domination.

“Sally Lu is fantastic. It really was lucky that she was looking for a change after she sold her start-up. I know you had recommended Eve for the position, but I think COO is more than enough for her right now, given the awful year she had.” The four were silent for a beat, remembering just how shitty the year had been for them all.

Alex planted a kiss on Kelly’s cheek. “I’m just glad they aren’t overworking you too much.” Turning to Lena and Kara, she added, “Kelly’s even been able to restart her practice part-time.” Kara was warmed by her sister’s pride at her girlfriend’s accomplishments. Even though it’d been a while since Maggie, she still sometimes worried about Alex’s love life. 

“Wow! That’s awesome Kelly! You must have really missed it. You haven’t practiced since you moved to National City, right?” Kara was intrigued, imaging Kelly during a session, delving into her patients’ psyches and emerging with some kind of gift-wrapped remedy for all of their ills. She knew, logically, that this wasn’t how the process worked, but she couldn’t help but see Kelly as a divine healer figure. After all, she had cured her sister of her loneliness and brought with her immense joy.

“Yeah, it’s been tough, trying to rebuild my client base out here. Don’t get me wrong, the work at Obsidian is stimulating and rewarding in its own way, but I _do_ miss having a direct effect on people’s lives. It makes me feel needed, in some way.”

“Well, _I’ll_ always need you.” Alex stood to clear the table. Kara figured she was slightly embarrassed by her own loving comment. She jumped on the opportunity to tease her about her mushiness, but was cut off when Alex continued from the kitchen, her back facing them. “Especially if I can’t find a job, and soon. It’s rough out there right now.” 

Kara frowned. She hadn’t known her sister was having trouble with her job search. Who wouldn’t want to hire an M.D. with vast experience with alien biology and who had research on genetic engineering published in the Stanford Medical Journal?

Alex emptied the last bottle of wine evenly into their four glasses when she returned. At Kara’s concerned look, she clarified. “I’ve had offers with a few local hospitals, but the hours are a killer. I need to find something with more of a 9-to-5 vibe if I want any of these adoption agencies to forward my application.” 

“You’re looking to adopt?” Lena was sipping gracefully at her glass, eyes curious.

“Yeah. I’ve been trying for a while, but working for a governmental alien military organisation wasn’t exactly desirable to bio parents. Also, being an unmarried lesbian doesn’t help things…” Kelly gripped her hand in support. Kara was relieved to see that the two had apparently discussed the topic of children more in depth after Alex’s near-adoption the year before. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of Maggie.

Lena was nodding, serious all of a sudden. “I can see that. I assume you’re keeping your vigilantism off the application then? It’s a shame they wouldn’t even give you an interview… Speaking as someone who was adopted into an… _undesirable_ home, the whole process…leaves a lot of room for improvement.”

Alex hummed solemnly in concurrence. “Well, if you hear of any job openings that don’t require me to risk my neck _or_ work midnights…”

“Actually…I was just thinking you’d be perfectly qualified as the Chief Medical Researcher at LuthorCorp.” Lena was staring into her glass, swirling the liquid with proper technique, as if to distract from her discomfort. “I know it’s a bit…awkward…to consider working for me…”

“Are you kidding?! That sounds incredible! Is this a serious offer?” Alex was near-shouting, but backpedalled slightly, abashed by her enthusiasm at the opportunity. “I mean, you’d probably want to interview me…”

“Alex, I’ve seen your work at the DEO and in the field. Plus, Kara has filled me in on your educational background. I have full confidence that you would excel. Though, we’d have to do a formal interview just to keep things professional. It wouldn’t look great…you know, when the press finds out Kara and I are dating…it could be considered nepotism.”

Kara was beaming, head flipping back and forth between the two most important women in her life like a spotlight trying to capture two actors on stage. She met Kelly’s eyes and she saw relief and a knowing gleam. 

“Okay then. You just tell me when and where and I’ll be in to see you, wearing my business casual best.” Alex looked stunned but ecstatic. “I hope you know what you’re doing with that company, Luthor, because now you’ve got the whole family working for you.” She winked and Kara laughed, delighted by the turn of events.

Lena, Kara noticed, took a considerable swig of her wine. “Don’t worry, Alex. I’ve got a number of excellent advisors, and a business degree. Plus, Obsidian is really a separate entity; Kelly would have job security regardless of LuthorCorp’s solvency. Same with Kara at CatCo.”

Oh. Lena had either missed the joke or it had simply hit too close to home. Kara knew Alex hadn’t meant to accuse the Luthor of being controlling or power-hungry, but she couldn’t blame Lena for perceiving it that way. It was usually a safe bet when it came to a comment about the Luthor family. 

Alex and Kelly were both hesitating, unclear on how to respond to Lena’s misunderstanding. Kara deliberated over how to correct her girlfriend without embarrassing her. As the pair across the table busied themselves with tidying up, she leaned in, kissing Lena’s cheek on the way to whisper into her ear so only she could hear. “Hey, she was just kidding, baby. And, personally, I _love_ working for you.” She let her voice take on a suggestively deep tone, testing the waters, and was met with a rapidly warming cheek as Lena blushed in response.

“Oh.” She reached for the empty bottle of wine and made to pour out non-existent liquid. The confusion on her face when she was met with air made Kara chuckle slightly; the despondent look that took its place gave her pause. 

Just then she heard a yelp a few blocks away, street level. It sounded like someone being mugged. She knew by the looks she was receiving that everyone had noticed her tuning in to the frequency of crime in National City.

“Problem, sis?” Alex said it like she was challenging her.

From the sounds of it, the assailant had made off with his target’s watch and the cash from her wallet. No imminent injuries. She _could_ retrieve the lost valuables for the victim, but it wasn’t life or death. She would stay. She felt Lena’s eyes boring into the side of her face, waiting for her to bounce up and off into the night.

“Nothing the police can’t handle.” She finished off the last sip of her wine. Even though she couldn’t feel the calming effects of human alcohol, going through the motions helped her re-acclimatize with the setting.

“Let’s go sit on the couch, I’m tired of sitting up straight.” Alex led the way over to the living area and turned the TV on mute. Naomi Osaka had made it to the semifinals at Wimbledon, up against Bianca Andreescu. It was a replay of the match from this morning, but none of them had checked the scores. Kara raised her eyebrows at her sister. Sports had never held much interest for either of them (Kara being unable to compete fairly, Alex being more of a grungy nerd than an athlete). She knew this recent fascination with tennis was thanks to Kelly, who had played in college on scholarship. 

As Alex and Kelly curled up together on the sofa facing the TV, Kara dragged Lena over to the loveseat to their right and rejoiced when the brunette snuggled into her side, molding herself to Kara’s body automatically.

Kelly’s attention was captivated by the neck-and-neck match. Kara knew both young women had defeated the great Serena Williams at the U.S. Open, and both were probably itching to prove themselves across the pond. The rivalry was exhilarating to watch, but she found her sister’s eyes were on her. She ignored Alex, watching as the 20-year-old Canadian pumped her fist after an unreturned rocket of a serve. 30-Love.

Lena’s body next to hers seemed to be warring with itself, oscillating between melting into Kara’s warmth and remaining tensely on guard in front of Alex and Kelly. Kara stroked up and down her back, encouraging her to relax.

Alex waited until the first commercial break to speak her mind. Lena had just begun to close her eyes, and Kara felt a sharp barb of irritation at her sister’s timing. Why couldn’t they just have one night where everything was fine?

“I’m surprised you didn’t fly off to take care of whatever was happening earlier…I’m glad you’re taking breaks, Kara. You’ve been doing so much lately.” Lena was fully awake again, eyeing her closely. 

“I’m not ‘taking breaks.’” She didn’t know why, but the phrasing irked her to no end. “This just wasn’t a case that required Supergirl. If there was real danger I would have been there.”

“There’s nothing _wrong_ with taking time to yourself though, Kara. You know that, right?” Great. Now Kelly was chiming in.

“Look, Kara Danvers takes breaks all the time. I’m here right now, aren’t I? Supergirl doesn’t get to relax, though. It’s her job to help the citizens of National City, and planet Earth.”

Alex snorted. “You realise you’re talking about yourself in the third person, right? It’s not healthy, the way you’ve been splitting yourself between your identities since Crisis.” She was shaking her head, like she was dealing with an unreasonable, poorly-behaved child. It was infuriating.

“Oh, and you’re some kind of expert about work-life balance all of a sudden? You get a girlfriend and a new job and now you’re perfect.” It wasn’t fair, what she was saying, but Kara needed them to lay off. Her duties as Supergirl were non-negotiable. 

“Wow, okay. First of all, I _know_ that I’m not perfect. That much is _abundantly_ clear. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. Kara Danvers _and_ Supergirl. I haven’t seen you this disconnected since just after Mon-El left.” That did it. Kara was unaccustomed to surges of anger, so she was helpless to stop this one, and her rage burst forth. 

“Would you STOP bringing that up?! I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with the past. That was _years_ ago. Mon-El is _gone_. And he didn’t just _leave_ , I sent him away. Remember? Nothing has changed with me. Pre-Crisis, post-Crisis. Whatever! People need my help, and I help them. That’s it. Not hard to understand.”

She sank back into the couch. She had shifted to the edge of the seat to shout at Alex. Lena’s hand found its way to her thigh and was gripping tightly.

Alex opened her mouth to retaliate in what would have likely been an inflammatory defence, but Kelly silenced her with a quick squeeze at her arm. The tennis match had resumed. Andreescu had taken the first set and Osaka was serving now.

“I think what Alex means,” she glanced sideways at her fuming girlfriend, “is that we’re concerned, Kara. Overworking can be a symptom of a deeper issue that’s going unresolved. A coping mechanism. We just want to make sure you’re happy, and dealing with all the trauma you’ve endured in a healthy way.”

Lena was silent, but she had moved her hand to grasp Kara’s clenched fist.

Kara huffed broodingly. “Thank you, Kelly, for translating Alex’s nonsense into therapist talk.” Alex rolled her eyes and stared unseeingly at the television. “But I’m fine. Seriously. I don’t know what you two discuss when I’m not around, but I don’t have any ‘unresolved trauma’ to deal with. I’m stronger than ever, and I’d like to keep it that way. Having someone pick at my brain isn’t going to do me any good.”

Kelly responded calmly, though it was clear to Kara that she disagreed with what she’d just said. “I never mentioned therapy, Kara, but would that be something you would consider? Even if just to appease your sister and I? I’m sure Lena would also be supportive if you were to talk to someone about the pressures you face.” Lena’s hand trembled, but she masked it by smoothing her thumb over Kara’s still-closed fist.

Alex was apparently expecting Lena to vocalize her agreement with their plan, because, at her continued silence, she jumped back into the dispute. “You can’t seriously believe that you have no unresolved trauma, Kara. That’s bullshit and you know it. You cried for the middle 40 minutes of _Inside Out_ when we watched it a few months ago, but we’ve never even had a real discussion about, oh, you know, that time you _lost your entire planet_. Or how about when you lost it _again_ , during Crisis? Not to mention everything in between.”

Kara was pretending to ignore her sister’s diatribe, steadfastly watching as Osaka evened the score by besting Andreescu in the second set with a decisive 6-2. It would all come down to the third set. 

Kelly picked up where Alex left off. Their bon cop, bad cop routine was exhausting. She wished Lena would say something. Anything. But maybe the Luthor was afraid of showing herself, lest she get painted as a target for therapy as well. _She could really use it_ _though_ , Kara thought, not unkindly. 

“Kara…I think that, with everything you’ve been through, it couldn’t hurt to have someone to talk to. An objective third-party. It sometimes helps to just _speak_ about our lives with a stranger. It’s cathartic.” She paused, waiting for _some_ reaction, but finding none. “I know I’m biased, considering it’s my field, but if I were treating someone with a history like yours, I’d be worried about certain emotional stressors, like survivor’s guilt, or-”

“A history like mine? Who would I even talk to about this, Kelly? I can’t just go around telling everyone that I’m Supergirl. Or that I’m- that I’m-” _Broken_. The word she had been about to say was “broken.” She halted her sentence abruptly, frightened by the self-confession. 

Lena decided now was the time to be her knight in shining armour. “I think maybe this has all been a bit much. It’s starting to sound like an intervention, and-”

“Don’t even get me started on you, Luthor.” Alex looked menacing, and Lena recoiled slightly. Kara finally opened up her hand and intertwined their fingers. “The only reason we’re not coming down on _you_ about this stuff is so we don’t accidentally scare you off for good. The pair of you are in shambles.”

Kara was livid now. It was one thing for her sister to come after _her_ about her emotional state, but Lena didn’t deserve to be examined and made to face her inner turmoil before she was ready. She stood now, bearing down on Alex, whose shock at the action was written plainly on her face. She spoke with a deadly calmness.

“Don’t talk to her like that. We didn’t come here to be ambushed. Thank you for dinner, but I think we’ll be leaving now.” She turned to Lena, and saw her jump to her feet, swaying ever so slightly. The movement was likely undetectable to the human eye, but Kara knew now that she was drunk. She couldn’t blame her. Lena had sensed a stressful evening even before they had set foot in the door. Like a dog that withdrew into a defensive curl before a thunderstorm. Or a survivor of lifelong abuse who only recently broke out of its cycle.

Everyone was silent as Kara collected Lena’s purse from the back of her vacated dining chair, rejoining her girlfriend who was now waiting awkwardly at the front door. Alex had marched out onto the balcony, probably to cool off before she said something truly regrettable. Kelly wandered over to Lena, resuming their pre-dinner conversation as if the past half hour hadn’t happened.

“What was that book you were talking about again? I’ll have to check it out at the library.”

“Oh, no need.” Lena gratefully accepted her bag from Kara and pulled out a veritable tome from its depths. “Here, I’ve read it countless times. It’s called _A Little Life_ by Hanya Yanagihara. It’s quite sad, but truly heartwarming at times.”

Kelly smiled as she accepted the novel. “Aren’t most things? Anyway, take care you two. I’m sorry if it felt like we were attacking you. You probably won’t believe me, but we didn’t plan this.” She was right, Kara didn’t believe her. “I hope we can do this again. Lena, I’ve never even seen your apartment!”

Once the door was shut behind them, Kara turned to Lena. “Can I fly you home?”

“Can I stay at yours tonight instead?” Lena was leaning heavily into her, and Kara was relieved that she’d been the one to suggest it. She didn’t want to leave her in this state. 

The flight home was an assault on her senses. She’d been finding lately that her hearing went into overdrive whenever she was feeling particularly angry or sad. She had a hard time blocking out the din of the street noise and the many cries for help that permeated the city on a nightly basis. It’d been years since she’d been awoken in the middle of the night by sirens, but now she found she couldn’t reach REM cycle.

It was a relief to set Lena firmly on the floor, touching down safely in her loft. The onslaught had made her jittery during her flight and, for a moment, she had feared that she’d lose her grip.

Lena looked exhausted, but bright-eyed. “Kara, I think we should talk about what just happened.” She wasn’t sure if she meant the unusually shaky flight, the barrage from her sister and Kelly, or both.

“Okay. Yeah. Let’s have some tea and-” A head-splitting screech sounded in her ears from somewhere in the city. A car had crashed into a telephone pole. Elsewhere, she heard police chasing a fugitive on foot, a group of gang members shooting suppressing fire, a woman being unnecessarily rude to a barista at Starbucks, a father hitting a raccoon with his car and his daughter crying out from the backseat. The sound that made her heart stop, however, was a distinctive wail from a young girl who was screaming out tearfully into the night: “Supergirl!”

She heard the supplication as clearly as if someone had paged it directly into her comms. It made shivers race up her spine. She knew she had to go help this little girl. When she re-situated herself in her own apartment, she saw Lena, who was now pleading with her eyes. She looked defeated, without acknowledging why. Kara knew she would never ask her to stay. She took advantage of Lena’s silence. “I’m so sorry. I’ll be back as soon as I can and then we can talk. Will you still be up?”

Lena looked like she wanted to argue, but knew it was futile. Kara counted as long seconds slipped away. Lena sighed, and gave her the permission she needed. “Come back to me.”

Kara spun into her suit, pressed a kiss to Lena’s downturned lips, and flew off.

~ ~ ~

It was a false alarm. The little girl had been crying out for Supergirl, but was not in need of any assistance. She’d been sent to her room for throwing a tantrum earlier that night. Kara’s instinct had never been so off. She’d dealt with a number of domestic abuse situations, and she knew now that this was not one of them. She apologised to the girl’s parents for the interruption, though they were overjoyed at finally getting to meet their daughter’s idol. Emma, the child, vowed to never be bad again if it meant that Supergirl would visit her. Kara didn’t know how to respond. She wasn’t Santa Claus.

The brevity of the encounter meant she could get back to Lena before she had time to fall asleep. Focusing only on getting home as quickly as possible, she didn’t have time to consider what she’d say to Lena once she arrived. She was perturbed at how her senses had failed her. She hadn’t chosen the most pressing matter to attend to. She had flown off in the opposite direction of the person who needed her most.

Lena was sitting on the couch with her legs tucked under her body, sipping at a scalding mug of tea. Kara could never figure out how she could drink it when it was freshly boiled. She thought humans were quite sensitive to heat, but Lena always relished the burn of the beverage as she gulped it back.

“I saw you still had some boxes of Barry’s Tea in your cupboards so I helped myself. Hope you don’t mind.” Lena seemed fully sober now. Kara sat down next to her, not wanting to take the second to change out of her suit and risk upsetting Lena further.

“Lena, I’m so sorry I left. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It wasn’t even…”

“Kara, it’s fine. What kind of person would I be if I asked you to put others’ safety on hold just so you could talk to me?” The tea seemed to have bolstered the brunette’s defences. Kara recognised the fake-fine mask her girlfriend was currently wearing.

“Lena. It’s not like that…I don’t- nobody was in danger… or, what I mean is-”

“What? So…did you just…use it as an excuse not to have a conversation?”

“No! I _thought_ there was a problem, but I was wrong. I messed up. It’s never happened before.” She looked down at her hands, ashamed. She couldn’t explain how distraught she was at the notion that her senses were failing her.

Lena must have felt the distress oozing from her pores, because she set down her tea and grasped Kara’s twisting hands. “Why don’t you get changed out of the suit and then we can chat?” It wasn’t really a suggestion. Lena had a way of cushioning a command. 

When Kara returned in her pyjamas, Lena had turned the tennis back on. Her tea was abandoned on the coffee table, half-full. It must have become too tepid for her to stomach.

She patted her lap, but Kara didn’t understand the instruction. She didn’t want to crush the smaller woman. Her Kryptonian bones were dense and she knew she was quite heavy.

“Lay your head down, darling.”

Once in position, Lena began running her fingers through Kara’s hair, the way she knew she liked. “Do you think, maybe, you were using the prospect of an emergency to get out of talking about therapy? Even if unintentionally?”

Lena’s voice wasn’t biting or critical. She might as well have been pondering the weather forecast. Kara was suddenly overcome with a swell of emotion for the woman cradling her head. Maybe _this_ is what she needed. Not therapy.

“Maybe. It’s possible.” Lena didn’t really push it further. But Kara wanted her to know how much she appreciated her. “Lena, I’m sorry I left. I just…I got so overcome with everything and…Alex and Kelly…they made me so _angry_. But you…you’re so wonderful and now I feel like crying and I don’t know why.” She closed her eyes, a tear escaping down the side of her face.

Lena hummed gently and caught the salty streak with her thumb. “Kara, you’re the strongest person I know. Not just in _that_ way. You’ve suffered so much tragedy, whether you’d care to admit it or not, but you’ve always been consistently sunny and warm. I’ve never understood how you managed it. Especially when I can barely fake a smile on most days. Maybe everything is just catching up with you…It’s okay to feel sad. You don’t have to be strong around me.”

She sniffled. She was silent for a long time, thinking over everything Lena said, everything her sister had shouted. She had been running away from her saddest memories for the entirety of her life on Earth. She had assumed, being the fastest being on the planet (yes, she had beaten Barry at a footrace), that she could outrun them. Apparently, her mind wasn’t as super as the rest of her. She didn’t usually have any difficulty relinquishing parts of a mission to others if they were more qualified than her in a particular area. It felt wrong, somehow, to consider delegating the upkeep of her mental health to someone else. 

Even though she wished she could stay in Lena’s embrace forever and let the Luthor absorb the pain with her fingertips, she knew it wasn’t fair to ask that of her. It wasn’t Lena’s job to fix her. It was _her_ job to help Lena. To show her how incredible and good she was. How could she prop Lena up when she could barely keep herself from falling apart?

Kara seldom felt her own tragedies. She watched them pass by her like they were being projected onto a 50” x 30” movie screen. The weird thing was that she had always been extremely sensitive to others’ traumas. Characters in movies, strangers on the street, hell, she’d once cried while listening to a podcast. The woman’s disembodied voice had carried so much pain that Kara had welled up and bawled. Rarely ever did her own past bubble to the surface in the form of an emotional release. That is, until recently. 

Lena was the opposite. Lena felt her pain all the time. She wore it on her skin like she was in a permanent state of third-degree burn and she adopted an icy demeanour to soothe herself. It had the bonus effect of repelling anyone who might want to touch her. It was lucky that Kara’s body temperature was an above-average 42.7°. Perfect for thawing a glacier. Or a Luthor.

The pair watched the screen, waiting for the tennis to resume. The channel had been on commercial since they had sat down.

“I think…I think I might want to try therapy.”

Lena didn’t stop her ministrations, and responded with a careful, “Oh?”

“Yeah. I’m no good to anyone if I can’t get my powers to work properly.” She felt Lena about to interject so she revised her declaration. “I mean…You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t randomly lash out in anger or…or who can fly you home safely even if it’s noisy.”

Lena was smiling softly down at her. “I think I’d be hard-pressed to find someone else who can fly me around safely. But you know that I think you’re perfect as you are, right? If you do this, it should be because you think it will help _you_.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I think it might help me. And…I really hate leaving all the time…to do Supergirl stuff. Small stuff…But I don’t know how to… _not_.”

“To be honest, it was much worse when I didn’t know you were Supergirl and I thought you were ditching me in the middle of meals because you couldn’t stand my company for one second longer.” She sounded like she was joking, but Kara was horrified at the thought. It must have registered on her face, because Lena trailed her fingers over her lips, tracing her features like she was memorising them. “Relax. Even then I knew you’d never leave food on the table unless it was important.” 

Kara wanted to tell Lena that she was more important than food, but stopped herself. It sounded more romantic in her head, probably.

Lena turned up the TV to a low volume when an announcer appeared on screen. The match had been postponed for a rain delay. Nobody had won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr if you feel like it : vaguenessarda


	9. ix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter transitional chapter this time. Don't worry, Alex and Kara can't stay mad at each other for long.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88cIzNmnZvI  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=PGFRDFHhQuaGTKkDw019LA

The LuthorCorp rebuild was still months away from completion, so Lena was forced to rent out office space to hold the board meeting for the end of Q2. She was pleased with the space, all things considered. It was bright and open and easily seated the entire panel of 12. She felt comfortable expressing her views to the individuals before her. The team was, generally-speaking, well-attuned to the company’s newly crafted mission statement and all geared toward the same goals while still maintaining enough difference to inspire creative output. Lena believed that diversity at the executive level, and in the departments below, was essential for a successful enterprise. Though disagreement and its ensuing discussion slowed progress at the onset of a new project, it proved to be an invaluable asset in the long run. It would set their innovation apart.

That’s why it was ironic, really, that her diversity hire on the board—a middle-aged white man—was currently giving her so much grief about the way she was steering the ship. The man, Glenn Gibson, was admittedly well-respected in his field and brought much expertise on organic chemistry to the table, with zero ties to Lex. Lena’s problem with him was that he never shut the fuck up. How was it that he managed to take up 75% of the talking time during these meetings when she had assembled a panel of 12 genius-level engineers, scientists, and business folk who should be free and able to confidently speak their minds? 

She had kept him around for his proficiency, yes, but also, perhaps, because she was simply so inured to going toe-to-toe with male chauvinists at work that it had become a source of familiarity for her. That, and it kept her on her feet. It was sometimes cathartic, in this area of her life, where she exercised complete control, to create or allow a conflict—a controlled burn of sorts—knowing that she would be the one to extinguish the flame.

Sitting placidly as Gibson screamed in her face from across the broad table dividing them, she wondered if this strategy was healthy. It was becoming much more trouble than it was worth, given the undue stress it was undoubtedly causing her peers. Looking inward, she supposed his narcissism caused _her_ a great deal of stress as well. Lifting a hand to halt the ill-tempered, purple-faced toddler to her left, Lena’s comparatively quiet drawl cut through his impassioned complaints.

“That’s quite enough Gibson. You shared this opinion at our previous meeting and, if you’ll recall, I advised you against expressing yourself in such a vulgar manner going forward.” Her crisp tone had quickly captured his attention and he fumed silently, eyes bulging. “As it stands, I don’t see how you, or your unprofessional demeanour, fit within the company we,” she gestured around the room, “are trying to build. I’ll have to ask you to submit your resignation from the board and vacate the premises.”

She had given him multiple warnings, in writing, over the weeks since she had taken over the company. She supposed she could have terminated him in private, but who was she to deprive her loyal and talented co-workers the indulgence of witnessing his swift removal? She’d spoken to many cancer patients during her years of research on the illness, and they’d all agreed that tumourectomies, while undeniably unpleasant, gave them a certain sense of satisfaction. 

Gibson stood up without a word. Lena rose to shake his hand, mistakenly assuming the best in him, and he spat at her feet. Blinking slowly at the assault, she turned to have Dr. Singh, who was sitting to her right, call for security. The second she had looked away, Gibson shoved her. Hard. She cried out in surprise and lost her balance (no thanks to her four-inch heels), smacking her forehead against the edge of the table. When she had regained her footing, she saw two of her larger male colleagues wrestling Gibson out the door, where the building security was rushing in to take over.

The other board members were quite distracted watching Gibson thrash his way out of the building from between the arms of two bulky officers. Lena touched her forehead gingerly and her hand came back with a small streak of red. She looked dazedly out the large window of the rented space and saw Supergirl floating just outside, a panicked look on her face. She must have heard her shout and zipped away from CatCo. Lena felt fuzzy, knowing that Kara had been listening, even if subconsciously. She waved at Kara to let her know she would be fine, and the blonde reluctantly headed off back toward her day job. She wished the hero could come in and comfort her without causing suspicion. She could hardly believe it herself that a Luthor and a Super were together. What would the rest of the city think if they found out?

One of her most astute business advisors, Mr. Ellis, approached and handed her a damp towel for her forehead. “It doesn’t look too bad, Lena, but you might want to ice it when you get out of here.” 

“Thanks Kendrick. I guess we’ll be cutting this meeting short.” She heaved a great sigh and tried to think of nicer things as she gathered her files. “Let me know how Laci’s recital goes tonight. Take lots of photos.”

He grinned. “Will do. And you, don’t work too hard this weekend. We need you in top shape if we want to be profitable again anytime soon.”

“I’ll be sure to keep away from angry white men in suits, then,” she replied drily. She dismissed the rest of the board and, after convincing Dr. Singh (“Please Lena, call me Anita”) that she was not concussed, headed out for the basement lab. Her mind wandered on its own volition toward a certain bubbly, blonde woman in a skin-tight suit. 

~ ~ ~

She made it to the lab in one piece and quickly peeled off her red-soled heels, exchanging them for the pair of chunky purple Vans she kept in the bottom drawer of her desk.

“You look like you’ve had a rough morning.”

She jumped slightly at the voice behind her, a hand to her heart as she turned. She’d forgotten that Alex would be in this afternoon. It seemed she had been giving Kelly a lunchtime tour of the lab. They approached, both eyeing the cut at Lena’s typically unblemished hairline.

She wanted to mention to Alex that technically Kelly hadn’t been given clearance for the lab, but she resisted, not wanting to cause an unnecessary stir. The lab wasn’t even operational; there were no ongoing or confidential projects for her to pry into. She knew Kara hadn’t really spoken to Alex since their disastrous dinner date and it was still awkward to be working together without the incident having been addressed. 

“The work of an angry board member. Or, I guess I should say _ex-_ board member. Trust me, I’ve had worse.” She pulled out her laptop, intending to send a few emails to HR regarding the dismissal. But the couple seemed to have other ideas in mind.

“This type of thing has happened before?” Alex was frowning. She didn’t wait for Lena’s response, perhaps remembering the number of times Supergirl had saved her from deadlier attacks. “You need to be able to defend yourself against these assholes.”

Kelly corrected her girlfriend, subtly. “You shouldn’t have to defend yourself physically at work.” At the twin disbelieving looks she received from Alex and Lena, Kelly raised her hands in surrender. “Oookay. Apparently, this is an unrealistic expectation to have.”

“It’s really not a big deal. It comes with the territory of being a Luthor. It’s just too bad Lillian didn’t allow me to carry on with my fencing lessons once she shipped me off to boarding school.” She typed away at her laptop, her distraction causing her to reveal a glimpse into her childhood that she’d normally have kept hidden.

“Yikes. Well, maybe being able to defend yourself with your fists would be more useful. Unless you keep épées behind potted plants in the boardroom.” Alex was leaning against the nearest workstation. Kelly had gone to fetch something from the freezer.

Lena swivelled in her chair to face the elder Danvers, her interest piqued. “Hmmm. Maybe I could convince Kara to teach me some techniques.” Now _that_ was an idea she could get behind. It could potentially lead to some hot, sweaty workouts. Kara in a sports bra…pining her to the ground…breathing hard…

Alex snapped her fingers in front of Lena’s face. “Yeah…I think if you want to actually _learn_ anything, I’d have to teach you. Besides, we can’t use the DEO’s training room anymore so she’d be at full strength. Not to mention the fact that she’d _never_ throw a punch your way.”

“So _you_ want to give me self-defence lessons? I guess that’s one way to expel all of your pent-up aggression.”

Kelly was back, handing Lena a cloth-wrapped icepack for her forehead. She seemed surprised that the two had come up with a halfway decent plan. “That…might actually be a good idea. And it’ll give you both some bonding time. Kara would love that.”

Alex was turning to get back to her work, muttering under her breath, “Don’t be so sure about that.” She looked back at Lena and regulated her troubled expression into something more neutral. “I’ll text you when I’m free. We can use the open space at the Tower. I’ll drag in a few mats and some weights.” She was walking away backwards as she added, “And dress appropriately, Luthor. No heels in my dojo!”

Lena gave her the finger. Alex would know that it meant she agreed to the proposal. Kelly shook her head, mystified at the pair.

“I finished the book, by the way. It was absolutely incredible.”

Lena was surprised. The novel was over 800 pages long and it was quite heavy, in terms of its content. She figured Kelly must be as voracious a reader as she was. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I can lend you another if you’d like. I’d offer something a bit lighter, but I don’t really do ‘light’ when it comes to literature.” _Or anything, really_.

“Yeah, that would be great. I found the characters to be so complex and fascinating. Jude’s story just broke my heart. It had me sobbing. But his relationship with Willem really carried me through.”

“I agree completely. Personally, I teared up the most when he was adopted.” And how his parents loved him unconditionally, even when he fucked up. _Especially_ when he fucked up. And how they saw all his ugliness but loved him anyway. Lena hoped beyond all hope that Kelly wouldn’t read too much into her choice of reading material. She didn’t need pity for a twisted connection she had to a fictional character.

Kelly seemed hesitant, but persisted with her train of thought. “You know, I don’t mean to belabour the point, but I thought Jude really could have benefitted from going to therapy. I thought the author maybe took his suffering a bit too far…without offering him much solace.”

“He did though. He went to therapy. It didn’t help. His relationship with Willem helped him.” She didn’t like this. She regretted giving Kelly the book in the first place. She certainly would not have done so if it hadn’t been for the amount of wine she had indulged in that night. A book was a personal thing, even if you weren’t the one who wrote it. And now they were somehow, _again_ , discussing therapy.

“He didn’t really _try_ though, did he? He was going through the motions, but he only went to appease his friends. He never communicated his needs. Not even to Willem. He never wanted to heal.”

Lena was irritated that Kelly was persevering through the thin veil of the novel—a flimsy shroud over their conversation. It was clear to her that she was divulging her insights into Lena’s own personal life. How unsubtle. Lena knew there were comparisons to be drawn. But she also knew that Kara was better than Willem in every way. And that she had inspired Lena to be honest with her wants and desires. Kelly didn’t know anything about them. She didn’t realise that together they were strong.

“It seems you have many thoughts to share. I didn’t realise you were such an analytical reader. Maybe we should start up a book club and do a proper discussion?” Her tone was cynical, and she had meant to convey to the other woman that she was aware that her poorly disguised observations were about _her_.

It seemed her sarcasm had backfired, because Kelly’s eyes lit up and she latched onto the thought as soon as it left Lena’s lips. “That’s a great idea, Lena! We could ask Eve to join too! Maybe even a few others. We could do it once a month so it’s not too much with all of our schedules.”

Now, Lena knew that Kelly was an extremely intelligent woman. There was no way she had mistaken Lena’s caustic suggestion as authentic. Apparently dating Alex Danvers meant Kelly had become adept at navigating acerbity and appropriating it for her own aims. Fucking hell. _This is why I don’t have friends._

“Fine. Fine. I’ll schedule it into my calendar.” She had meant to dismiss the still-smiling woman, but Kelly was hovering over her shoulder, waiting for her to set the reminder. So she did, plotting the first book club meeting on the last Friday in July. That would give her some leeway to come up with a reason to disband the group before it could begin. 

When Kelly finally stepped back, she seemed much softer. Or maybe just less pushy. Lena wondered suddenly if she’d seen her full calendar, including Kara’s appointments with Dr. Rothwell highlighted in lime green.

Lena sighed internally. “I should thank you, again, for finding a therapist for Kara. I know it must’ve been challenging finding someone trustworthy who didn’t mind signing a thousand NDAs and going through the intense background check Brainy and I developed. She’s…She found the first session tolerable, at least.”

“Oh, no need to thank me. Molly and I go way back. She’s the only person I would have trusted with someone as important as Kara.” Kelly looked like she was waiting for Lena to say more, but Alex came rushing back from her workstation at the other end of the lab.

“We’ve got an issue at the waterfront. Angry alien, as per usual. J’onn just texted. Kara’s already there.”

Lena stood up quickly, alarmed. She ought to have a TV installed down here so she could keep an eye on Supergirl’s battles. “Anything I can help with?”

Alex was searching her pockets for her keys. “Who knows. Probably. Let’s go.”

~ ~ ~

Kara couldn’t breathe. The alien currently throttling her apparently thrived in water and was easily overpowering her as he dragged her through the depths of the Pacific Ocean just outside of National City. She needed to find a way out of his vice-like grip and onto land. She opened her eyes and zapped him with her heat vision, directly in the face. That stunned him briefly, and she was able to distance herself from his scaly body, propelling herself to the surface.

The alien kept dipping back into the water in the middle of their fight, a trick that made him elusive and slippery. She was having a hard time knocking him out. It didn’t help that a sizeable crowd of spectators had formed around the perimeter. J’onn and Brainy, as well as a slew of DEO agents, were doing their best to clear the area, but the hoards were stubborn with their phones out, recording the melee. Her spiny blue nemesis emerged, lunging toward her. She needed to get the entranced humans out of his reach, and fast. Dodging the attack, she spun on the spot and blew the nearest audience members back several metres with a low dose of freeze breath. It came out a bit harder than she had planned; she was still struggling to regulate her powers fully. They tumbled over, but were otherwise safe from the deluge currently being unloaded from the alien’s chest cavity. Kara crossed her arms protectively in front of herself, but the force of the blast flung her directly into the statue of the city’s founder, crushing it completely. _Oh well. He was a racist jerk anyway_.

Picking herself back up, she saw the alien dive back into the water.

“Supergirl!” Lena was jogging toward her, holding a tablet and, notably, wearing purple sneakers with her burgundy dress. _That’s a new look_. “This alien seems to be powered by direct contact with water. When he emerges, try to create a vortex around him. If you can get up to 112 km/h you should be able to dehydrate him.”

Kara barely stopped herself from kissing Lena just then. She’d like to be able to say that it was her own self-awareness that stopped her, or the now-approaching alien, but it was the sight of her sister looking at her sourly from the sidelines that did it.

Putting that problem aside for now, she motioned for Lena to take cover, and starting flying in tight circles around her hydrophilic foe. The ensuing whirlwind was more unwieldy than she had been aiming for. It uprooted several smaller trees, but ultimately worked. The alien was gasping and powerless on the ground once she slowed. Kara felt bad for him. He seemed confused more than anything, and didn’t seem to be seeking destruction.

Alex darted forward and handcuffed the alien, handing him off to a troop of DEO agents, who had proven to be useless up to this point. Alex then turned to Kara and skipped greeting her altogether.

“What is wrong with you? If you had just texted me when this guy appeared, I could have helped. You’re lucky he didn’t drown you.” Alex had her hands on her hips. Kara couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. “And what’s going on with your powers?”

“I was handling it, Alex. What could you have done to help anyway? This isn’t your job anymore.” She made to walk around Alex to where Lena was standing, but her sister grabbed the crook of her elbow as if to stop her. Kara ignored it and pulled her arm back.

The rebuttal made Alex tense further. “I have a right to be here. As your siste-”

Lena interrupted, looking around for any eavesdroppers. “Maybe we should take this conversation elsewhere.”

“Yes. Great idea, Miss Luthor. And _thank_ _you_ for your strategy. I couldn’t have stopped the threat without you.” Lena sighed as if to say ‘must you aggravate your sister?’ and Kara eased off a bit. She didn’t mean to be so short with Alex, but the redhead’s attitude was grating on her.

Nia, who had been interviewing civilians, apparently thought it would be a good time to pop her head into the discussion. “Yo, Supergirl! Any words on the latest takedown?” She held out her recording device, but Kara had no patience for the perky reporter right now. Alex stomped off toward the DEO agents without another word. Suddenly she felt helpless. She hated fighting with her sister.

Pushing the device away, she responded wearily “I’ll give you a quote later Nia. This wasn’t really exciting enough for coverage anyway.”

Nia’s face dropped and Kara instantly felt even worse. “Oh, yeah, you’re probably right. I just thought…since you said I should cover more Supergirl stories because of ‘journalistic integrity’ and all that…I just thought I’d start right away.” The photojournalist she had brought with her made his entrance and snapped a shot of Kara looking drenched and unimpressed.

“Unfortunately, Miss Nal, I think this was just another instance of an alien who was not given any support in acclimatizing to Earth. There’s no deeper story here.”

Nia got the recording anyway. “What do you have to say about the citizens here who were upset by your use of freeze breath on them? I heard a few people grumbling about the destruction of property too.”

Kara must’ve looked visibly troubled because Nia put her recorder away. The photographer wandered over to get shots of the collapsed statue. The last thing she needed was increasing public distrust in Supergirl. It had taken so long to regain their confidence after Red K. And after Red Daughter.

“Hey, you’re still National City’s hero!” Nia gave her a smile and an awkward thumbs up. “Oh, hey Lena, do you have anything to add?”

Lena had approached and was standing closer than normal to Supergirl, but still not as close as Kara would like her to be. The cut on her forehead looked painful, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss it. And drop the guy who gave it to her into the middle of the ocean. Right now, it seemed like Lena was the only person not irritating the crap out of her.

The CEO simply shook her head at Nia’s question. Looking up at Kara, she added, “I’m going to go talk to Brainy for a moment—work stuff—let me know before you take off.” 

When Kara refocused on Nia, the younger woman was watching her watch Lena walk away. If she noticed anything out of the ordinary, she didn’t comment. “Anyway, I’d better get back to CatCo. Really though, don’t worry about the naysayers. We’ve got a city full of Shania Twains, if you ask me.”

“See you later, Nia.” Kara figured she might as well assist with some of the clean-up before taking off. Maybe the menial task would help calm her crankiness. Bending to pick up a fallen tree, she found she couldn’t blame the complainants too much—she wasn’t impressed with herself either.

~ ~ ~

“Ah, Lena. Well done in your swift assessment of the alien threat. It is a great boon for Supergirl to have you working by her side once more.” Brainy spoke with his characteristic primness, but Lena detected the undercurrent of pride in his words.

“I’ve missed working with you too, Brainy. I was actually coming over here to thank you for your assistance in rebuilding my company. You’ll find that LuthorCorp’s labs are always open if ever you have a use for them.” 

Brainy looked pleased, folding his hands together. “That is very kind of you. I must say, I am relieved that my past dealings with your brother have not tainted your perception of me.”

“That would be quite hypocritical of me, now wouldn’t it?” She reached out to grasp his shoulder in a friendly gesture. “I know how he can be. I’m just glad to be rid of him.”

A deeper voice interjected itself into the conversation. “And quite the accomplishment it was, Miss Luthor. Though I won’t be fully relaxed until his trial is over and he’s in prison for good.” J’onn was looming over the shorter pair with an unreadable expression.

Brainy took his leave, citing a need to get back to the Tower. He had been splitting his time between J’onn’s P.I. firm, LuthorCorp, and Nia’s apartment since he had nearly died on Leviathan’s ship. Lena found his newfound commitment to a healthier work-life balance to be inspiring, though impractical for herself. 

She needed to get back to work, and didn’t want to be left alone with J’onn. His telepathic abilities made her uncomfortable and she was still unclear where she stood with him. “I should be heading back to the lab as well.”

“Lena, I’m glad you’re back. It’s nice to see you and Kara getting along again.” He said it in such a straightforward manner that it made Lena automatically distrustful. He’d never given any indication about his feelings toward her one way or the other.

“Well, thank you. It’s nice to be accepted among the Superfriends once more.” It sounded disdainful, even to her ears, though she had intended it to be a conversation ender. 

“You’ve always had a place with us, Lena. I know you might not believe that, but you have.”

Lena finally looked up into his dark eyes and smiled wistfully. “I suppose you wouldn’t have let me anywhere near your family if I had bad intentions. Surely you do a mind scan of anyone new in Alex or Kara’s life?”

J’onn looked uncomfortable. Lena knew he was an honorable Martian who kept to his word and only resorted to violence when all other means were exhausted. He may not read the mind of every passerby, but it would have been foolish of him to fail to read hers. Especially since her surname was Luthor. He had sworn to protect Alex and Kara, after all.

“I’ll admit. I did do a quick scan the first time you worked with us at the DEO.” At Lena’s sharp, accusatory glance, he continued quickly. “I wasn’t reading any specific thoughts, or memories. All I can tell you is that what I saw gave me absolute faith in you. I knew that you were trustworthy and that you would never hurt Kara.”

He was staring unblinkingly at her now. Lena broke the link between them before whatever he was trying to communicate made its way to her brain. She swallowed, slightly shaken. She wasn’t used to such unwavering assurance. At least, not from anyone other than Kara.

“Good to know.” Nodding to herself for no apparent reason, she looked up and saw Supergirl looking their way. She signalled that she was about to depart. _Thank god_. “I should go see Kara before she leaves.” 

J’onn just looked on knowingly as Lena speed walked over to where her girlfriend was waiting for her.

She reached the hero’s side promptly, stopping herself from grabbing her hand. Stupid alter-ego. “Alright, Supergirl?” Kara had been disgruntled earlier when talking to Alex, and Lena couldn’t help but think that Supergirl would normally have done away with the alien troublemaker with ease. Kara had been her usual lovely self when they were together, but Lena knew that the rift with her sister was weighing on her. Add that on top of whatever it was she was discussing with Dr. Rothwell in therapy… Needless to say, Lena was worried about her.

“I’m fine, Lena.” Kara was smiling down at her and moving closer. Lena was about to remind her about their current extremely public position when a young girl of around 10 came rushing toward them.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” Lena waited patiently for the inevitable request for her to snap a photo of this girl with Supergirl. She was thrown completely off guard when the girl spoke again. “You’re Lena Luthor! This is so cool! Did you really help Supergirl just now? I am a _huge_ fan of your work. I want to be a bio-engineer and study at MIT, just like you!”

The girl was blushing profusely now, but Lena was too stunned to speak. Supergirl jumped in to rescue her, yet again.

“Miss Luthor helps out with a lot of my missions. She’s saved me more times than I can count.” Kara winked and Lena thought the child was going to melt into a puddle on the sidewalk with how little she was breathing, trying to take in everything she was hearing.

Lena finally got her bearings and smiled. “MIT will be lucky to have you. Maybe someday we can work on a project together.”

This was apparently the right thing to say, because the girl looked at her in disbelief. “Are you serious? That would be awesome!” She was fumbling with her backpack now, pulling out a hefty notebook. “Would you…Could I get your autograph, Miss Luthor?”

 _Why the hell not_? “What’s your name?” She etched her signature onto the lined paper as neatly as possible and handed it back to the girl—Chelsea.

“Thank you!” She looked at Supergirl, shy again, and held out the book. Kara didn’t usually stick around for so long after a mission. Lena highly doubted she had even practiced a signature for Supergirl. She watched as Kara scribbled a loopy ‘SG’ onto the page, her tongue sticking out in concentration.

Chelsea shouted out another ‘Thanks!’ before darting off back to her mother. Lena noticed that the lurking clouds over Kara’s eyes had cleared; she was looking fondly after the girl and now at Lena. “That was adorable. You’re her hero.”

“Says the woman wearing a cape.”

Kara just shrugged, still grinning. She was enjoying this far too much, in Lena’s opinion.

“Supergirl may have saved the day, but _Lena Luthor, you’re my hero_.” She was clutching her cape like a lovesick tween, head tilted to the side.

Lena shook her head, lowering her voice as she became cognizant once again of their location. “If I’m such a hero, Supergirl, I expect you to show your gratitude.” That got Kara’s attention. She knew it would have sounded menacing if not for her flawlessly deployed lip bite. Raising her eyebrows, she tagged on a suggestive “Later?”

Kara’s eyes drifted down to her lip. She nodded joltingly and took off into the sky. She might be dating a woman who could fly and lift metric tonnes, but she would be damned if she let Kara have the upper hand when it came to the art of teasing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr if you feel like it : vaguenessarda


	10. x.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times and then a Danvers Sisters Couch Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This happened. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm1bDP0yNj8  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=IfuBsP-QQVaemWxssqL-lA

That evening, Kara made good on her promise and showed Lena her gratitude. Several times. Over the weeks since they’d first slept together, the Kryptonian had been enjoying finding new ways to wring orgasms out of her, and Lena was certainly not complaining. She was, however, still quite put out by Kara’s unwillingness to allow Lena to touch her in return. She had spent a significant chunk of her time in the lab after hours trying to research ways to make Operation Fuck Kara happen, but had so far been unsuccessful. Lex’s notes on the red sun and its capabilities were lacking when it came to harnessing its power for more _portable_ uses. His goal, after all, had been to render Superman entirely and inescapably powerless. Lena didn’t want to replace Earth yellow’s sun with a red one, she simply wanted to de-power her Kryptonian girlfriend long enough to eat her out. _I wonder what it’s like to have normal problems?_

She refused to use Kryptonite in any form; she felt ill at the mere thought of hurting Kara in any way, and given the experiences the blonde had with the substance, Lena didn’t think she would be amenable to the solution anyway. Kara seemed content to spend hours pleasuring Lena and minutes taking care of herself. It made Lena’s heart ache. After having her offers to reciprocate rebuffed several times, she was forced to change her tactics.

Still breathing heavily from their latest exertions, she let her hands wander over the Kryptonian’s taut torso. Steering clear of Kara’s erogenous zones (for now), she began her carefully prepared speech.

“Kara, I know you don’t want to risk losing control, but… I really hate not being able to touch you.” She was straddling Kara’s thighs now, hands on her stomach. The blonde was looking up at her, unsurprised and ready to play out the now well-trod topic.

Nevertheless, she responded patiently. “Lena-”

“Just listen. I want to feel close to you, and…I’m working on a way around this, but it’s taking too long. I feel like I’m missing out on this part of you, and I hate it. I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.” She allowed her hands to wander up Kara’s body, now just an inch away from her breasts.

Kara looked like she was warring with herself. Lena knew she was still aroused, despite her self-induced release not moments ago. She leaned in closer, using her arms to angle her breasts appealingly toward Kara. Maybe if she could distract her long enough, she’d forget her own rule about touching. 

Kara’s eyes were darting between Lena’s face and her tantalising chest. She seemed to be considering her words through a haze of lust. “I think…I think I want to touch you some more instead.” She made to flip them over, but Lena halted her with a firm hand on her shoulder. The action didn’t really stop her—they both knew Kara was too strong for that—but Lena appreciated that her girlfriend succumbed to her will in this arena.

“I’ll let you touch me some more, _if_ I can touch _you_.” Kara responded with mute apprehension. “Darling, I appreciate the risk. Really, I do. And it’s so sweet that you don’t want to hurt me accidentally, but surely I can touch you just a little bit? You can, ehm, close out the show, but maybe I could help get you started?”

Personally, Lena thought her request was quite reasonable. Kara swallowed and, after another moment of contemplation, she nodded, adding on a hasty caveat. “Go slow, please. And you have to promise you’ll stop when I say.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I would never do anything without your consent.” She leaned down to give Kara a kiss, and tried to slow her excited heartbeat. Kara brushed a loose strand of Lena’s dishevelled hair behind her ear when she pulled back, tracing the bruising welt at her hairline with her thumb. Lena knew that Kara viewed her as a fragile human, at risk of injury from innumerable sources every day. But she wanted to show the Kryptonian that just because she was comparatively fragile didn’t mean that she couldn’t give as good as she got.

She moved steadily, kissing her way across Kara’s strong jaw and down her neck. She shifted her hands up to cup her breasts just as her tongue reached a spot directly over Kara’s heart. The blonde was breathing deeply but was by all accounts still in full control when Lena looked up to check in. Kara wound her hands into Lena’s hair and she took that as a green light to continue her exploration.

Stroking cautiously, she skimmed her thumbs across pebbled nipples, monitoring Kara’s reactions. She lowered her head to suck one into her mouth, coating the peak thoroughly. She nipped gently and was met with a light sigh from the woman under her. She kissed her way across to where her hand was plucking at the other breast and squeezed a bit more firmly, testing the pressure. Kara hummed contentedly, but did not arch up the way Lena would have at the attention. She grazed her teeth on the underside of Kara’s breast and decided to jump in with both feet and bite down on the rosy nipple before her. Kara chuckled lightly at Lena’s subsequent pout, hand still calmly cupping her head.

“Feels good baby, but I’m just not as sensitive as you are there.”

“Hmmm.” Lena breathed out as she rose back up to tangle their tongues together briefly. “What I’m hearing is that you _are_ sensitive elsewhere.”

She began her trek down Kara’s lithe body once more, receiving a playful pinch from the Kryptonian for her efforts. No. She wouldn’t be distracted. She had a clear target in mind, and she knew that it would be vastly more responsive to her touch, if the rapidity with which Kara was able to get herself off after their trysts was any indication. 

She let her tongue drag slowly over the defined lines of Kara’s abdomen as she moved closer to the bundle of nerves peeking out from under its hood. Lena knew Kara would draw the line at penetration of any kind (she winced at the thought of dismemberment, even if it was just a finger), but she hoped she’d be allowed to at least get a taste of Krypton’s finest.

She breathed deeply once she was situated securely between Kara’s legs, and the swollen clit in front of her twitched slightly, aching to be touched. Kara made a strangled noise and rushed to get her words out. “Lena, I… I don’t know how long I’ll last. I won’t be able to control…”

She trailed off as Lena traced soothing patterns on her inner thighs. She wasn’t going to give up before she’d even gotten a taste. “Kara, it’s okay. Just tug on my hair when it gets to be too much and I’ll move.” She waited for confirmation and, at Kara’s worried nod, she allowed her thumb to depart the warm thigh it was gripping and take a barely-there pass over Kara’s clit. The blonde’s hips convulsed slightly upward, but she stopped the full follow-through of the motion.

Using her other hand to spread Kara open, Lena took in for the first time the pretty hue of her inner folds and longed to one day be able to explore them at her leisure. As it was, she carefully drew pearls of arousal from Kara’s weeping entrance onto her fingers, and used the slickness to delicately coat her clit. She rubbed confidently, not pressing hard just yet. Kara’s body clenched under her as she let out gasping moans with each circle. Her fists were gripping large swathes of the bedsheets, and Lena wondered distantly if they would rip. She was more focused on the pleasure of the woman below her than on Kara’s 500 thread count sheets. She’d been itching to replace them with something softer anyhow. 

Feeling emboldened by Kara’s response, she settled herself in and licked firmly across the tender bud, receiving a drawn-out moan and a hand through her hair in return. Lena paused, waiting for Kara to guide her away, but she felt only a pleasant light scratching of nails on her scalp. She pressed a kiss to Kara’s clit in thanks, and resumed, now swirling her tongue and tasting the remnants of the wetness she’d gathered before. Kara was dripping down onto the sheets now, and Lena knew she must be close. Kara was rocking ever so slightly into Lena’s mouth at her clit. The brunette figured she must have more control than she had calculated for. Seeing Kara’s bliss-filled face above her, she really wanted to finish the job. She applied a minute amount of suction.

Kara let out a cry and forcefully yanked her up by the hair, just in time to avoid a collision between her bucking pelvis and Lena’s jaw. Breathing hard, Kara was suddenly on her knees, smoothing Lena’s hair and cradling her face, inspecting her for damage. Her frantic eyes were watery, her throat bobbing. Once she ascertained that her girlfriend was fine, Kara spoke tearfully.

“Lena. Oh Rao. I’m _so_ sorry. I could’ve- you were-” She closed her eyes and kissed her deeply. “I should have stopped you earlier. I didn’t know you were going to do that.”

“It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have pushed it. You just looked so… _gorgeous_.” Lena crawled up into Kara’s lap and smoothed her hands over the crinkle between her brows. Kara nestled her face into the crook of her neck, and Lena felt her take shuddering, calming breaths. She combed softly through her hair, giving Kara a moment to collect herself before speaking again. “Please tell me we can try this again. I’ll be good next time, I promise.”

Kara, who was now more recovering from sheer terror than turned on, kissed her again before moving down to nose over Lena’s still-beating heart. Shakily, she responded, “Maybe.” At Lena’s sigh of relief, she continued, looking her directly in the eye. “You’re always good though, baby. Don’t worry about that.” Lena quivered pleasantly at the affirmation.

Overall, she deemed Operation Fuck Kara: Phase 1 a moderate success and promptly passed out once they were both horizontal. 

~ ~ ~

Kara felt awful. Not only had she allowed Lena to put herself at great risk, purely for her own pleasure, but she’d nearly dislocated her jaw in the process. If Lena had been any more _vigorous_ with her mouth, Kara would have straight up decapitated her. She had said they could try again at a later date, but she seriously doubted that she’d ever be able to trust herself with her lovely, breakable, _human_ girlfriend in such a precarious position again. At least, not at full strength.

They were lounging on the couch, killing time that morning before Lena had to head into the office. Kara had voiced her complaints at the Luthor working on a Saturday, but conceded that a half-day on the weekend here and there was still better than her usual 12 hours a day, seven days a week. They’d thrown on clothes at random to make breakfast a touch more comfortable, but Kara was currently trying to figure out the quickest and smoothest way to get Lena out of the oversized white t-shirt she had stolen. She craved the feeling of Lena’s body around her, alive and well. She needed to erase the scene from last night. Her greatest fear had nearly come to fruition. 

Lena seemed to share in her sentiment, because she was being awfully touchy this morning. They were staring in the direction of the TV, but neither was really watching. Lena was tucked under Kara’s arm, reaching out with her opposite hand to absently stroke at her stomach and chest, her fingers dipping occasionally under the band of her underwear. Kara was wearing boy shorts and a sports bra, and the brunette seemed to take that as an invitation to feel any and all exposed skin. Kara just wished more of Lena was exposed.

Lena’s hand stilled over her stomach, and she broke the comfortable silence with a thought that had apparently been niggling at her inquisitive mind. “Kara…how many people have you been with? It’s just…you’re quite… _skilled_. Have you been shagging throngs of women on the side of your Supergirl duties, or what?”

Kara reddened and looked down to see Lena’s brow quirked in curiosity. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Um no. The only person I’ve ever slept with besides you was Mon-El…And, well, you know, he was a Daxamite so I’ve never really had to consider my strength…um…in bed before.”

“Ah, so you didn’t have to worry about hurting him when _he_ went down on you.”

“Well, actually, no. He never…We never did that.”

The look on Lena’s face would’ve been more appropriate if Kara had told her Mon-El used to strangle kittens, not that he never ate pu-

“Never?! God, Kara. No wonder you lost control last night. I’m sure next time you’ll be more prepared.” Lena was stroking at her thigh now, and Kara worried she wanted to try her hand once more. Her voice had taken on a timbre Kara now knew to associate with sexual desire.

Seeking to distract Lena from her single-minded intention to rectify Mon-El’s negligence, Kara let her own hand inch up and under the hem of Lena’s t-shirt. She felt a wave of heat wash over her once she remembered that the brunette wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“So…about my _skills_ …” She kissed lightly over Lena’s neck, hearing her inhale deeply.

“Someone’s quite smug all of a sudden.” Lena was teasing her, but Kara knew she was enjoying the attention at her throat. Kara lulled her in with a wet kiss, sucking on her lower lip before guiding Lena to lie back on the couch. She went willingly.

“What I lack in experience I make up for in perceptiveness.”

“Hm?” Lena’s mind had drifted away from the realm of discourse now, as Kara was thoroughly exploring her pliant lips, drinking in the outpouring of sweet sighs that she emitted freely. She was pleased at the sound. It’d taken her telling Lena how much she loved her noises for the tightly-wound brunette to let go and express herself vocally. 

Kara allowed her right hand to grasp at Lena’s thigh while the other moved up to massage her breast over her shirt. Bending, she kissed the spot just over her heart, where she could hear the muscle thumping away at an increased rate. She plucked roughly at the nipple beneath her palm and heard Lena’s heartbeat quicken in conjunction with the now-anticipated moan. 

“I can hear your heart. I memorised the pace, and I know what makes it speed up.” Her voice sounded husky to her ears.

Kara swallowed any potential response with her lips, kissing Lena thoroughly, barely letting up for the woman to take in air. Her right hand drifted inward, cupping possessively at Lena’s sex as she continued to torment the diamond-hard nipple with her left. When she pulled back, Lena’s cheeks were several shades darker and her pupils were trying to swallow Kara whole.

“I can tell when you’re flushed, heating up…even when I’m not looking…I love making your body blush for me. I know the exact shade of pink…” She let the fingers of her right hand stroke teasingly through Lena’s lower lips. “…the exact shade…when I touch you inside.” Lena let out a low moan at the description. Her arms were splayed above her head and over the arm of the couch as she eagerly received Kara’s attention. 

Kara continued her torturously slow exploration of the soaked folds below her, dipping in to Lena’s entrance shallowly with every few passes. Lena was angling her hips instinctively, trying to get the friction she craved and was being denied. She whined from Kara’s dual assault at her breast and cunt, breath catching each time the hand between her legs grazed her clit.

Kara sucked at her neck. Lena shivered as the wet paths left by Kara’s mouth met with the cool breeze of the air-conditioned apartment. Her breathing became uneven as Kara finally began to thumb at her clit. She flicked lightly at the bud and Lena’s breath hitched before she released it in a long, stuttered moan.

Rasping into her neck, Kara continued with her blasonic catalogue. “I hear every tiny whimper that comes out of your throat as I’m fucking you.” Lena’s hips lurched at the profanity. It was probably the first time she’d ever heard Kara swear. She kept that reaction in mind for future reference. “I love your sounds…how desperate you get. All needy, and _clingy_.”

“Speaking of clingy…” Kara slowly inserted two of her fingers into Lena’s sopping entrance with minimal resistance. She bent Lena’s knee back toward her chest to see the effects that her actions—and words—were having. Kara watched, captivated by the movement of her fingers in and out, Lena’s cunt doing its best to squeeze and suck them back inside. When she glanced back at her beloved’s face, Lena was rosy with arousal and a touch of something Kara couldn’t initially place.

They watched each other for a long moment. The only sounds to be heard through the apartment were Lena’s high sighs punctuating each of Kara’s thrusts and the wet result of their repeated union. Lena was rocking up to meet Kara’s hand, unable to tear her gaze away from the stormy blue eyes witnessing her pleasure.

Kara didn’t want to disturb the entrancing rhythm they’d established, but she wanted to test a theory. “Do you like it when I look at you, baby?” Lena’s hips faltered slightly, only to pick back up at a quicker pace. “You like being open, and on display for me.” It was no longer a question, as the answer was quite clear to Kara. Lena clenched tightly around her fingers at her words, cunt spasming through unrelenting pumping.

She accelerated her pace, now adding direct pressure to Lena’s clit with her thumb. It wouldn’t be long now before she came undone and Kara was all too happy to take her there.

She leaned in further, stretching Lena’s leg to its limit and moving to massage her front wall as she propelled her hand. “I know you like it. You look so pretty, all spread out and dripping wet… I always know when you’re nice and wet and ready.” She breathed deeply, circling roughly at Lena’s clit. The brunette was slurring out incomprehensible phrases now, but Kara heard them clearly. She was begging for release, the pleas building up a pulse in Kara’s clit. “You always smell so sweet when you’re ready to be fucked.”

Her words, and one last knowing nudge at her clit, pushed Lena off the precipice she was edging on. She came with a loud cry and a white-knuckled grip on the cushion below her head, never once letting her gaze waver from Kara’s. 

Kara slowed her movements. Lena was breathing heavily, staring at her in awe. Kara pushed through the oncoming wave of embarrassment at her own brazenness. She had been taking all her cues from the woman below her. Evidently, her narration had been extremely unexpected by her audience. She crowded into Lena’s space, crawling over her body to speak to her directly. She didn’t want to mess up what happened next.

Kara kissed her softly, appreciating the fucked-out look in Lena’s eyes. She still couldn’t believe that she was allowed to see her like this. Sometimes she still couldn’t believe that they were together, or that Lena had even forgiven her.

“You like it when I talk.” Again, it was more of an observation than a question. She rubbed over Lena’s lower lip with her thumb, eyes drawn to the redness there. Kara had been slowly learning all of the most effective methods of unravelling the Luthor, acquiring the knowledge and adding it to her arsenal. This development felt like something to at least mention before moving on.

Lena’s arms were loose around her neck, tickling the fine hairs at the base of her skull. She took a second before nodding shyly and acknowledging Kara’s remark with a tiny “yes.” Lena seemed uncertain, but not uncomfortable. Kara assumed that meant that her desire was outweighing her pride in this moment. Or, perhaps, that she trusted Kara enough to divulge another minuscule piece of herself.

Lena smiled then, echoing Kara’s movements and tracing the pink lips hovering above her. “I can’t believe you said ‘fuck.’”

“I guess you just bring it out in me.” She pushed forward and they kissed slowly. Kara wanted to taste every flavour of Lena. She was beginning to realise fully just how few she’d sampled so far. 

Kara didn’t want to have to discuss the topic of her own pleasure again just yet, and she made sure to bury any inkling Lena may have at reintroducing it by steadily lifting her t-shirt up and over her head. Rather than looking timid or squirmy at her suddenly bared form, Kara tracked the indicators of Lena’s arousal that she had so lovingly listed to come to the conclusion that Lena was turned on. And very much so.

Kara paused, leaning back on her heels from her position between Lena’s legs, and drank in the woman below her. Once her stare reached the juncture between her reddened thighs, Lena shifted and unconsciously opened herself up more.

“You’re beautiful, Lena.” She let their eyes link up once more, wishing she could beam her love into blue-green orbs like she could laser heat vision into an enemy. The brunette didn’t seem put off by the juxtaposition of her nakedness with Kara’s comparatively clothed body. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it.

Lena was blinking slowly, but remained otherwise still. Kara recognized that she was waiting for her to decide on their next course of action, so to speak. She wanted to give Lena exactly what she wanted. And just then, she knew that they wanted the same thing.

Kara fitted her hands carefully underneath the supple body in front of her, lifting Lena with one hand on her ass and one supporting her upper back. She situated herself easily against the back of the couch with Lena now straddling her lap, her fingers playing with the ends of loose, blonde curls. Lena liked being seen, and Kara loved looking at her. This position would scratch at all of their itches, or, at least, that’s what Kara hoped. 

Still, Lena waited for Kara’s guidance, patiently rubbing at strong shoulders. She kissed along Kara’s jaw, pressing herself into the warm body before her. Kara felt hard nipples brush against hers through the fabric of her bra, and she applied pressure on Lena’s arching back to make it happen again. She sighed as Lena latched onto her lip, sucking hard before biting down. She loved that Lena didn’t hold back, knowing that nothing she could do would ever hurt her physically.

Lena was making her way around the column of her neck now, leaving what would have been deep purple love bites in her wake. Kara found the pout of her lips whenever she remembered that her skin was impervious to be absolutely adorable. She happened to glance at the kitchen clock and noticed that they didn’t have much time before Lena’s meeting at noon. Reluctant to stop just yet, she opted for speed.

Lena was grinding wetly on the skin of a solid thigh when Kara repositioned her so she was hovering over her probing fingers. Lena gasped at the silent suggestion and unhurriedly sank down onto Kara’s hand with a satisfied sigh. After a few experimental up and down movements, Lena began rolling her hips in various patterns as she used Kara’s shoulders to anchor herself. Kara allowed her to set the pace, crooking her fingers to try to reach the optimal spot, and watched, enraptured as Lena moved over her.

Kara licked at the prominent collarbones staring her in the face and drew Lena infinitesimally closer with the hand at her back. She ducked down to capture a nipple in her mouth and sucked hard, drawing a broken moan from the woman above her. Lena was breathing hard, and leaned back to place a hand at Kara’s knee, knowing the Kryptonian would compensate for any unsteadiness. Her other hand gripped the solid bicep helping to prop her up. From the new angle, Lena began to fuck herself in earnest, letting her head fall back. Kara held her firmly, muttering words of encouragement. She was thumbing at Lena’s over-stimulated clit now, receiving sharp whimpers in exchange for each gesture.

“That’s it, baby. Take what you need.” Kara wasn’t sure if Lena was even listening. She was thrusting herself so forcefully down onto her body, using the leverage of her own arm and of Kara’s unyielding palm. Kara was barely conscious of her words anyway. She watched Lena move, breasts rising and falling with each powerful drive. Kara sped up her circling thumb and kept increasing the velocity until the digit was practically vibrating against Lena’s aching clit.

She felt Lena’s mooring arm falter before she sensed the shuddering walls closing in on her fingers. The accompanying, sobbing wail came a second later, as Kara caught Lena and pulled her to lean forward, thrusting through her convulsions. Lena was still rocking herself lazily as she pressed her sweaty forehead down into Kara’s. Their lips brushed occasionally against one another’s as Lena sucked in much needed oxygen. Kara continued to pulse up into her, trying to prolong the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Lena let out a particularly high-pitched moan as the fingers inside her pressed into a sensitive spot, her unfocused eyes staring at Kara’s mouth.

Kara didn’t know what made her say it, but she did, because it was what she was thinking. Speaking soothingly into Lena’s ear, she hummed and breathed out, “Good girl.” The reaction was unanticipated by both parties.

Lena tensed, coming again weakly, and pitching out a surprised squeal. Kara’s fingers were gripped tightly in pulsating waves once more, before Lena slumped down, face hidden in Kara’s neck. Kara was stunned. Once Lena’s trembling had totally subsided, Kara brought the smaller woman closer, stroking up and down her back with an open palm as her body went slack. She feared the three fingers still inside her might be causing Lena some discomfort at this point, but as she began to pull out, the brunette clasped her wrist and murmured a hoarse “stay.”

She felt heat coming off of Lena’s cheeks and knew intuitively that this was from embarrassment rather than exertion. She opened her mouth to say…something, anything, but Lena chose that moment to lift just enough to remove Kara’s hand from between her legs.

Kara held her tightly as she resettled into the nook formed by her neck and shoulder. She didn’t want to just wipe away the slickness still covering her hand, so she stuck one finger in her mouth and groaned at the taste. The noise drew Lena out from her temporary sanctuary. Eyeing Kara’s lips as she withdrew the digit, Lena grabbed her wrist and promptly took the other two fingers into the hot cavern of her mouth, sucking greedily and staring into Kara’s eyes as if searching for a reaction.

Though it was Lena who was hooked on her hand, Kara felt a low pull behind her navel like she was the one being dragged out to sea. She was suddenly all too aware of her own drenched underwear. She pulled Lena in for a breathless kiss once her hand was released.

Lena turned once they pulled apart, checking the clock behind her, and dislodged herself from Kara’s lap.

“Fuck. Kara, I’m sorry, but I should really get in the shower and get going. My meeting is in half an hour.” She was wringing her hands and seemed suddenly conscious of her nudity, blushing as she ran a hand through her tangled hair.

“Go ahead, baby.” Kara nodded, and Lena rushed into the bathroom.

Kara fetched Lena’s dress from yesterday and smoothed it out on the bed, thinking that Lena ought to start keeping some clothes here if she was going to stay over so frequently. She smiled as she heard Lena muttering to herself in the shower. It was slightly surprising, how easily she fit in here.

~ ~ ~

The construction meeting had gone as well as she could have hoped, considering that Lena’s mind had been stubbornly stuck elsewhere (namely, back on Kara’s couch). Fortunately, the LuthorCorp building would be nearly completed in the coming weeks—much earlier than she had anticipated—and she was grateful for that. The headache of having to rent out boardrooms and conduct teleconferences from her apartment would soon be vanquished, replaced by her anxiety at the looming deadline for her proposed rename and the general stress of having her entire staff move in.

She made her way back to her refuge to finish out the half-day. The basement lab was cool and clean, and its subterranean location meant she didn’t have to work so hard at deterring unwanted guests. That being said, the hesitant arrival of one Nia Nal in her space was not completely unwelcome. She needed a distraction from her frustrating lack of progress in her projects, and from the slight arousal and humiliation that rose in her cheeks whenever she remembered how Kara had unravelled her so easily that morning. 

Lena had been hitting another wall with her experiments with red sun technologies. She had tried surreptitiously probing Kara for any useful specifics from her home planet, not wanting to alert her girlfriend to just how much time she was dedicating to trying to have her way with her. That avenue had proven to be fruitless. All of Kara’s memories of the sun itself were from childhood, and her parents, who had been fumbling over their impending ecological disaster, shielded her from the harsh realities Rao’s light held. It was a tender subject for Kara on the best of days. It inspired Lena to work harder to give her this gift.

Lena dropped her tools and lifted her light sensitive safety glasses from her face, wiping her brow of non-existent perspiration as Nia shuffled into her area.

“Nia! What a nice surprise. I was just about to take a break.” The younger woman was rocking on her heels awkwardly, but smiled at the warm greeting.

“Sorry to bother you, Lena. I heard from Brainy that you’ve been hanging out here.”

Lena was relieved to hear that. She’d feared that her bunker had been infiltrated by unknown forces. “It’s no bother, really. Come, let’s sit down.” She led Nia over to her desk, pulling up an additional chair and glancing at her inbox. “I’d offer you something to drink, but, as you can see, we’ve got more of a bare-bones décor going on.” 

Nia waved her hand in dismissal of the thought and took her seat. Lena waited for her to explain the reason for her visit, but the other woman simply fidgeted nervously in her chair. She’d never had a one-on-one conversation with Nia before and she was curious as to why they were having one now.

“Were you here for a quote, Nia?”

“Umm. Actually, I was hoping you could give me some advice.”

This surprised Lena. She didn’t consider herself to be particularly knowledgeable in any subject matter that would be of relevance to the young reporter.

“It’s about Brainy. We…We’re back together now, but things are still kinda…weird.”

Lena’s eyebrows were in her hair. This was the last thing she’d ever expected to be consulted on. Relationships were not exactly her forte. At her continued silence, Nia pushed on into a very Kara Danvers-esque ramble.

“I know you and Brainy have been working together and you’ve given him advice in the past about…things. Also, you two are like, really, _really_ alike, in some ways. I just thought you might have some insight into how I can…how I can talk to him about certain _things_.” Nia took a breath and then rushed to complete her thought. “Without scaring him off, that is.”

“Ah. I see. You narrowed down your pool of acquaintances and zeroed in on the one who is closest in personality to a half-robot, twelfth-level intellect. Makes perfect sense to me.” Lena offered a small smile, trying to take the bite out of her words. She couldn’t quite tell if she ought to be offended or not by the comparison. Sure, Brainy could be a sweet and caring person, when he tried, but he could also be inadvertently obtuse and tactless.

“I mean…Yeah. Weren’t you the one who told him to stuff his feelings down into tiny boxes?” Lena cringed. Yep. That had been poor advice. “I mean, you’re also a genius and you have trouble expressing your feelings…I think.” Nia shrugged, like this qualified Lena for her newly appointed role as romantic advisor.

“What are you having difficulty discussing with him? In my experience, he’s always been open to new ideas, if not a bit arrogant when having to inevitably shoot them down.”

Nia blushed. Lena was _very_ intrigued now.

“It’s just…We’ve been together a while…If you count _before_. And he’s never… We’ve never… _done it_.” She whispered the last part, channelling the secret toward Lena with a cupped hand. At the Luthor’s carefully maintained neutral expression, Nia continued, raising her voice in her discomfort. “And I want to. I’ve tried…suggesting it. But I don’t think he’s getting it. And…and it’s like he hasn’t even considered it.”

Nia’s face dropped at her final admission, and Lena felt for the woman. It seemed she also shared a commonality with the bright-eyed reporter: She was trying to get her partner off and was being spurned. 

She needed to be delicate with her response, so Lena took a moment to consider the situation. “I think…with Brainy, a direct approach might be more fruitful for you. I doubt he is purposefully ignoring your needs, Nia. The short answer is that you won’t know how he feels about sex unless you ask him.”

Nia nodded, looking unsurprised by Lena’s answer but needing to hear it anyway. “Yeah. You’re probably right. Sorry…for being, you know, awkward and asking you sex questions and…yeah.”

“Nia, it’s fine.” She reached out to grasp the woman’s wrist in reassurance. “Besides, this is more of a communication issue than a sex issue, right?”

“I guess so. It’s a good thing I have so many older friends to help me with this stuff…I…I don’t know if Kara told you anything about me and my sister, but we still haven’t really made up…”

Lena wasn’t expecting to hear so many details about Nia’s life today. She felt herself swelling with a newfound pride at the young woman’s bravery in coming to National City on her own, in coming out as trans _and_ as Dreamer. It was a lot to take on, especially without much familial support. It reminded her slightly of her own journey.

“Kara hasn’t divulged to me anything too personal, Nia, but from what I can tell you’re doing quite well for yourself. She’s proud of you.”

Nia laughed lightly. “Yeah, Kara has been so great. Mentoring me at work, and as Dreamer, and…everything. I considered asking her for help with this, but I didn’t think that, as a Hufflepuff, she could really relate much to a pure Ravenclaw, like Brainy.”

Lena balked slightly at the unfamiliar jargon. “Raven…claw?”

“Oh. My. God. _How_ has Kara not forced you to watch _Harry Potter_ yet??? It’s like, one of her favourite series. You never read the books when you were a kid?” Nia was gaping at her.

She _had_ heard of Harry Potter, but she’d never been allowed to indulge in the fantasy genre. Lillian had shoved SAT prep books under her nose at the age of six, and, for a diversion, a copy of _A Brief History of Time_. Her love of reading had come later, once she was free of the totalitarian grip of her adoptive mother. Perhaps as an overcompensation for the narrow slice of literature she was allowed, she now mainly read historical fiction, mixed in with some biographies and romance. She’d never thought to dive into the YA section.

Nia continued, certainly feeling more at ease now that they were discussing pop fiction rather than her love life. “I said that expecting to have to argue for why Kara is a Hufflepuff and not a Gryffindor, but you don’t even know what that means. Let me just say that _I_ think _you’re_ a classic Slyther-Claw.”

Lena, never one to wallow in ignorance if she could help it, pulled up the definitions of these gibberish terms on her laptop, reading them over carefully. “Hmm. I agree that Kara is more of a Hufflepuff, if they’re defined by their commitment to justice, hard work and loyalty. She’s certainly brave as well though…and intelligent…and ambitious…She’s a bit of everything, actually. But I’d vote Hufflepuff.”

Nia grinned at her assessment. But Lena had a slight correction for her. “I’d say I’m firmly in the camp of Slytherin though. I do value intelligence and I love learning, but not just for the sake of it. My real passion is helping others with my knowledge. And…I’d say my behaviour this past year ought to be enough to convince you that…I’m not very wise.”

“Okay, okay. The sorting hat counts your opinion too, after all. But I think you and Brainy both have lots of ‘claw traits. And me and Kara share a lot of Hufflepuff traits. That’s how I knew you’d be able to help me out.”

Lena’s heartrate picked up. Did Nia know about her and Kara? She opened her mouth with no plan as to her reply. Luckily, Nia cut her off.

“Yeah. You know, since you two are _best friends_ and all. You know everything about each other. You’re like…Romy and Michele, or…or Anne and Diana…or the besties in _Frances Ha_!”

Lena didn’t know why Nia expected her to understand any of these references, given that she wasn’t even familiar with Harry Potter. She mentally noted them all, planning to investigate them later for any undercurrents of romance. She assumed at least one of them would feature some queer-baiting.

“Well, I should let you get back to work. I’m going to go talk to Brainy right now, before I lose my nerve.”

They both stood, Lena intending to politely walk Nia out. The younger woman sprang forward and captured her in a quick hug.

Chuckling slightly at Nia’s exuberance, Lena consoled her once more. “It’ll be fine, Nia. Brainy loves you. Whatever the problem, you’ll figure it out once things are all out in the open.” _At least, that’s how it worked out for me and Kara_.

“Yeah. You’re right. I know.” Nia grabbed her bag and then headed toward the entrance. Just before she pushed to open the door, she turned to take in Lena’s attire. Nia had always been keen to know which designers she was wearing and often jokingly (or maybe not so jokingly) suggested a cover shoot for the Luthor. “Hey, weren’t you wearing that dress yesterday?”

~ ~ ~

Once Kara dropped Lena off, she quickly zipped back home and “took care of herself,” sprawled on the couch where they had spent the morning. Her need returned with full force once she stepped foot in the apartment and caught a whiff of the lingering aroma that was pure Lena. After a quick shower, a large lunch, and a thorough cleanse of the couch cushions, she heard a knock at her door. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, so she easily x-rayed to peep her visitor: A nervous Alex.

Her sister never knocked. Kara wondered if her decision to do so now stemmed from the current state of their relationship or from an unspoken fear of walking in on Kara and her new girlfriend in a compromising position. It could be both, she supposed.

She ushered Alex inside silently. She’d barely shut the door before Alex was speaking.

“I’m sorry, Kara. I don’t want us to be…weird anymore. I shouldn’t have come down so hard on you about stuff.” Alex lifted the bag of takeout she had brought and held it out like a peace offering. “Kelly…she pointed out that it probably wasn’t the best way to bring up my concerns…”

Kara took the item, immediately moving to grab utensils for her and sister to devour the potstickers inside, her late afternoon lunch already forgotten. “Yeah, it was a hard to hear. And I know Lena was really uncomfortable.”

“I’ll apologise to her too.” Her voice sounded remorseful. “It was shitty to just spring all of that on you both.”

Kara turned back toward Alex and motioned for her to join her for a Danvers Sisters Couch Talk. Walking over, Kara stuttered slightly in her step. She quashed the images that flashed in her mind regarding her cozy couch and sat down in her usual spot, thankful she had the foresight to clean up the place.

Ever perceptive, Alex commented. “What was that about?” Her eyes were narrowed inquisitively. Kara stuffed a potsticker in her face, stalling, and opted for a shrug. It seemed Alex really did want to make up because she dropped the subject.

Swallowing hard, Kara spoke. “I’m sorry too, you know. And…you were right. I _have_ been working a lot. Probably more than I should. I…I’ve actually been having trouble controlling my powers.”

Flashbacks of last night’s near-disaster in bed with Lena flitted quickly across her thoughts. The recent memory made her hand tremble as she grabbed another potsticker. She tried to put into practice the techniques Dr. Rothwell had suggested for processing her anxiety. She focused on her current surroundings: Her sister’s red hair, the scratchy texture of the couch under her thighs, the distant roar of cars at street level, the mouth-watering smell of potstickers just under her nose, the lasting taste of Lena in her mouth. She evened out her breathing and found that she had to open her eyes to re-enter the conversation. She hadn’t closed them intentionally. 

Alex was taking in Kara’s disposition and chose not to comment. She did well to hide the worry Kara knew she was feeling. “I heard from Kelly that you’ve been seeing a therapist. Is it…How’s that going?”

She didn’t feel like discussing her sessions with Alex. She still didn’t fully know what to make of them herself, though the grounding technique certainly helped her this time. “It’s going fine.”

Alex chewed thoughtfully, but didn’t push. “And how’s Lena?”

Kara knew to interpret this more as ‘How’s it going with Lena?’ She felt herself smile at the answer that came to mind. “She’s great. It’s going really well, Alex. What about you? I haven’t really talked to you in two weeks… How’s the new job?”

The conversation was slightly stilted; Kara knew it would take a bit to get fully back into their easy back and forth. Covering their usual topics was like working out a neglected muscle: It felt a bit stiff, but generally good. 

“It’s awesome so far. Lena’s assembled a great team and she’s basically giving me free reign to take the research in the direction I want…”

Alex scratched self-consciously at her nose, before jumping in again. “Can we just…skip the awkward part and get back to normal? I…I miss my sister.”

Kara polished off the last potsticker and pulled Alex in for a patented Danvers hug. “Consider it done.” They separated after a long moment and Kara pretended not to see the moisture that had accumulated in Alex’s eyes. “So, how do you feel about a movie night? I think I _might_ even be up for _T2_.”

Alex’s eyes lit up and she rushed to set up the movie before Kara could change her mind. Kara was relieved. Her sister was extraordinarily stubborn, but she knew it came from a place of love. She was thankful they could mend things quickly. All it took were some potstickers and an action flick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting, and subscribing! My plan is to continue doing weekly updates (I have a few more chapters in the bag ready to go), but I am starting back at uni this week so it could be a bit longer between updates going forward. Please bear with me!


	11. xi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to Lex, a therapy session, and Big Belly Burger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's one of my favourites. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVbso4c8y-o  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74j0Hs9OkOo  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=NIO-jPRYS224rovVcKyIxg

Lena wasn’t sure how she found herself marching alongside none other than Lillian Luthor down the narrow and dingey corridor at Van Kull Maximum Security Prison on her way to see Lex, but here she was. J’onn had suggested that Supergirl pay the baldest Luthor a visit with the intention of sussing out any lingering plots for world domination or steadfast allies on the outside. Lena had barely managed to convince Kara to allow her to take the reins on this task. Supergirl was quite busy as it was, and Lena was trying to help Kara to relinquish some of her duties.

She was more than capable of interrogating her idiot brother. She found that she was actually eager to speak with him, knowing that he’d be much less adept at finagling his way out of a direct question. He wouldn’t be able to belittle, or gaslight her. At least, she really hoped that to be the case. She couldn’t stomach the thought of being second-best to Lex 2.0. While she _did_ consider the updates to his brain to be an upgrade overall, she feared his rotten essence would seep out and somehow infect her once more. Kara had only conceded to Lena once she recognised this moment as an opportunity for the brunette to “confront her inner demons, and Lex.” Lena was glad Kara seemed to be getting something out of therapy, but personally she found the notion to be a bit trite. Her inner demons wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. But it might be nice to see her primary outer demon languishing in a cell. 

On top of her nerves at having to come face to face with dear old Lex after everything he had put her through over the past year (and the 21 before that), the addition of her mordant adoptive mother to the outing was both confounding and aggravating. The details were still foggy for her on how Lillian had talked her way into joining in on the trip. One second they were talking business over the phone, and the next the older woman had shoehorned herself into the interrogation room. Lex _was_ her son, but Lena failed to see what interest he could possibly hold for Lillian now that he likely didn’t even know the definition of the word “genius.”

Pausing briefly before entering the cramped visitation room with its hideous, yellowed walls, Lena turned to Lillian.

“We’re here to gather intel. That’s it. So don’t tip him off, and do _try_ to avoid coddling him.” At Lillian’s immediate eyeroll, Lena pushed her once more. “I’m serious, mother. I don’t know why you’re here, but, if you must be, please do not sabotage my reason for making the trip to this godforsaken penitentiary.” 

“Really, Lena? Your main reason for visiting your brother is to finally show him who the superior Luthor really is. You can hide behind the excuse of gathering ‘intel’ for your friends, but I know you better than you think I do. I won’t stand in your way, regardless. I just came to ensure that he is how you say he is.”

Lillian signalled for the guard to let them into the chamber and she strode in with her head high, looking down her nose at Lex, who was seated, unbothered, with cuffs linking his wrists to an unmovable table. Lena approached, matching her level of coolness with Lillian’s and then cranking it down another few notches, for the sake of appearances. They were both seated across from Lex before it seemed to occur to him to greet them.

“Mother! Lena! What a nice surprise.” Lena squinted, trying hard to identify any irony in his tone and failing.

Lillian shot a look toward Lena before responding. “Hello Lex. Have you been keeping well in your new…abode?”

“As well as I can be, I guess.” He shrugged and then frowned suddenly, as if just now remembering his setting and that one of the women in front of him was directly responsible for putting him there.

Lena almost felt bad for him. Almost. He just seemed so helpless. She _had_ eliminated a core aspect of his personality. Some might argue the _main_ aspect. But it had been necessary to thwart his plans for global devastation. Still, she wished she hadn’t been the one obligated to do it. 

She wanted to assess his memory before she bothered trying to wriggle any information out of him. There was no use wasting time in devising clandestinely probing questions if Lex didn’t have the answers to them.

“Lex, what do you remember from our last encounter?” It was vague enough to force him to recall, but specific enough to give him a sense of where they stood.

“I remember everything on the ship, Lena. You betrayed me. You tricked me, and then you betrayed me.” His face was impassive, but Lex somehow had the audacity to infuse actual hurt into his tone. The hypocrisy of the emotion rankled her.

“And how does it feel to be on the receiving end for once?” Lena snarled back. “Shocking, isn’t it? How painful it can be? It must be galling to know I outsmarted you.” 

Lex bristled slightly at the assertion, but was clearly unable to come up with a comeback. Both because there was none and also because he was no longer intelligent enough to grasp at it, had it existed.

Lillian eyed the interaction with interest, but did not speak.

Lena wanted to twist the knife a bit more before she got to the heart of her inquiry. “I suppose you’ll want to thank Supergirl, Lex.” He looked up with naked incredulity. “If she hadn’t defeated Leviathan, they might have gifted you with your sought-after immortality. I’d venture a guess and say that it would have been more of a curse than a gift at this point. Am I right?” 

Lillian inserted herself just then. “Now, now Lena. It’s in poor taste to gloat. No need to kick your brother while he’s down. Lex, I wish I could say I was more upset by this turn of events, but I think the… _alterations_ were a necessary precaution. Power can be wielded as a tool, of course, but those who are successful in their rise cannot begin their journey corrupted.”

Lex merely blinked at Lillian’s speech and she took pity on him, explaining in simpler terms. “What I mean is you could have been great. Truly great. But your motivations were clouded by juvenile obsession. To be a good leader, you can’t simply take aim at the tallest person in your way. Your tunnel vision failed you.”

Seeing that he was still uncomprehending, Lillian directed her next, exasperated remark to Lena. “It’s as if he’s never even read _The Prince_.”

Lena smiled wryly. “Machiavelli is turning in his grave, I’m sure.”

Lex seemed unsure of just what about their back-and-forth had been levelled at his expense, but he reacted with an outburst that suggested he knew there had been an insult hidden somewhere inside.

“I _do_ remember reading _The Prince_!” He slammed a fist on the table like a child throwing a tantrum. The gesture was the most recognisable thing about Lex so far. “I remember everything, like I said. It’s just like… it’s all covered in a veil…The memories are all there, I just can’t…see them…clearly…”

Lex seemed flustered at his own revelation, like he hadn’t intended to divulge his newfound struggle. Lena had never seen his features take the shape of self-consciousness. _Good, let him see how it feels_. 

Lena tried to envision what her pathetic brother must be experiencing. She imagined seeing her thoughts and her most cherished memories as if from a distance, through a long tunnel. Or worse, up close and blurry, like she was watching a Lillian Gish film shot with Vaseline over the lens. She noted that Lex would likely be unable to draw complex inferences. He’d be incapable of innovation, or maybe even of learning anything new at all. She swallowed hard. She felt guilty. Her own intellect was what had allowed her to get by. It was her strongest survival skill and her greatest asset. The thought of being separated from that part of herself made her fists clench in reflex, like she was trying to hold onto an intangible, core element of her being.

She was deciding on how to ask about Lex’s potential aiders and abetters when Lillian continued her prodding.

“Have you seen what your sister has been doing with the company you nearly ruined? LuthorCorp is developing exciting medical technology and attracting new financial backing from investors on an international scale.” Lena could have misheard, but she thought there was a droplet of pride in Lillian’s voice. She figured it must be a put-on for Lex. Lillian never could pass up an opportunity to belittle or shame her children when they failed. Even if it meant having to temporarily prop one up over the other. “I’m surprised it survived the PR nightmare that you left behind. And without having to change the stock symbol, or anything.”

Lex seemed bored now. “I don’t care about LuthorCorp, mother. I’m going to be in prison for the rest of my life. It doesn’t matter to me what Lena does. My name is still on it anyway, so the legacy lives on.”

“Actually…” As they were speaking, Lena had plotted her next few conversational moves. She now saw the quickest path to get Lex to where she needed him without coming straight out and asking. She had beaten him at chess when she was a toddler and it was proving to be an even simpler task now that he was the equivalent of one. “I’ve been planning another rename since I took over and I’ve finally decided on what it will be.”

Lillian looked surprised. Lena hadn’t kept her mother current on the minutiae of her day-to-day.

“So if you want to have your cronies try to assassinate me from prison, Lex, you’ll have to direct them to El-Corp, not LuthorCorp.”

Lillian quirked an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the same name you tried before, Lena? Not very creative of you.”

“I’ll be spelling it E-L-Corp this time, mother.” She crossed her arms, subconsciously defending her choice without speaking. She knew the implications of the one-letter addition. She was explicitly linking herself to Kara- no, to Supergirl. The world would know that Lena Luthor was, and would always be, on the side of the Girl of Steel and that her company would stand for the same ideals promulgated by the blonde Kryptonian. At Lillian’s prying stare, Lena was tempted to throw all caution to the wind and reveal to her last remaining kin that she was, by the way, also shagging Supergirl and that, yes, it was incredible and life-altering and made her feel like she wasn’t the worst human being on the planet. She refrained.

Lex finally spoke. “That name is dumb. It’s too simple.”

They had never discussed her name choice pre-Crisis so Lena had no way of knowing whether this opinion was novel or pre-existing. She bit her tongue at the low-hanging fruit that was a retort about Lex’s own “simpleness.”

“I thought you would appreciate the simplicity, Lex. Weren’t The Smiths your favourite band as a teenager? They chose the most ordinary name possible so that their music could shine through and speak for itself.” Lena had a second to wonder at whether Lex would appreciate art in the same way now. Whether he could grasp the complexity and nuance of a great song and imbue it with additional meanings, plumbed from the depths of his own soul. Morrissey was almost as big of an asshole as Lex, but even Lena had a weakness for “Asleep” and “Everyday Is Like Sunday.”

“Whatever.” Lex seemed to be channelling his Smiths-loving teenage self, now brooding petulantly. “And by the way, my guys will know where to target regardless of what you name the company. You’re not hard to find, Lena.”

Aha. “I figured as much. And they are all still located in National City, correct? So it won’t be too long a walk over with their poison, machine guns, shuriken, or what have you.” She waved her hand to usher in each new item of her increasingly ridiculous list of murder weapons.

“Right. Same distance as always.”

Lena took that to mean that they were using the same hideout. She just needed to know where exactly that was and whether they had access to any Kryptonite. She assumed it was a lead-lined building and took a stab. “You know, many of the city’s warehouses have been afflicted with _egregious_ mould problems. Maybe you should have your team relocated lest they breathe in noxious fumes.”

She hoped her diction was high-level enough to confuse Lex. He had been obediently picking up each breadcrumb she laid down thus far.

Lex scoffed annoyed at Lena’s line of thought. “Get real, Lena. Of course a warehouse right on the docks is going to have mould. The saltwater is constantly washing up against it. You think I care if those five dumbasses get asthma?”

Trying not to seem too pleased with the amount of information Lex had just revealed with relatively little effort on her part, she drummed her fingers on the table and pretended to be thinking. She paused another moment for effect, and then continued.

“Well, if it’s not the mould that gets them it’ll be the Kryptonite radiation. Being cooped up with too much of it can’t be good for the fragile human physiology.”

“Woooow.” Lex was outwardly mocking his sister’s slowness now. She had lured him into a familiar dynamic: Him lording his superiority over her. “You were literally _on_ the ship that blew up with all the Kryptonite aboard, Lena. Did you forget? I swear, sometimes I wonder if you’re even part Luthor at all. You’re so naïve. There’s no more Kryptonite. Unless you made some that I’m not aware of.”

“Ah. That’s right. How silly of me.” She sat back in her chair, confident that she had enough material to locate Lex’s followers. They’d be able to further illuminate any plans her brother had in the works. She felt safe in the knowledge that he was completely out of commission and totally unable to carry them off anyhow.

Lillian chortled quietly, drawing Lex’s attention easily. He turned his haughtiness on her now.

“I’m surprised you’re even here, mother. Apparently your loyalty means as little as Lena’s does.” Lena thought it was strange for Lex to be employing a guilt trip on their mother, who had never in her life expressed that emotion in front of either of them.

Lillian straightened in her seat and spoke as if lecturing a misbehaved child. “When you came to me and told me about my life before this so-called Crisis changed everything, I found that I didn’t recognise the woman you spoke of. While I don’t _love_ aliens, and wouldn’t want to be around one, necessarily, they _could_ prove to be useful. They don’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, Lex. I’ve always wanted to be at the helm of helping humanity to become the best it can be. I don’t see how brainwashing the world’s population would achieve that goal.” She leaned forward slightly, talking to Lex the way she hadn’t had to since he was five years old. “I’m nothing if not pragmatic, dear, and, in my opinion, your ends did not justify your means.”

Lex tried to cross his arms, but was foiled by the chains restricting his movements. He pouted at the physical limitation. “Why are you here together, anyway? Lena, I didn’t know you trusted Lillian enough to go on mother-daughter day trips.”

Lena scoffed. “I don’t trust anyone.” She had no intention of revealing to either of the bull sharks she had the misfortune of swimming with that she had actually found herself trusting Kara more and more with every passing day, despite her recent heartbreak at her powerful hand. She had also been growing closer to Alex and Kelly, and even Brainy. She kept mum to protect herself and her friends.

Somehow, through the haze created by his literal loss of brain cells, Lex still retained the knowledge that Lena did, in fact, have a weak spot. “You trust your super pet, Lena. Remember her? Blonde, peppy Kara Danvers. Earth’s representative for the House of El.”

He stopped speaking abruptly. Lena watched as recognition dawned slowly over his face, lighting up his eyes with a manic gleam that had been missing from his comparatively docile comportment. He couldn’t spit his discovery out quick enough, and stuttered through his words red-faced, spittle escaping. “You- you- the company-” Lena resisted the urge to check her watch as she waited for him to finally reach the end of his sentence. “You’re naming the company after HER?!”

Lena nodded slowly in response, not wanting to push the already teetering man before her into another word retrieval frenzy.

Lex was breathing heavily now, but managed to get out the accusation he’d been trying to get at earlier. “So you’ve officially chosen your side then.” The statement felt portentous, though Lena wasn’t sure why. She had already known it to be true. She’d chosen her side long ago, in fact. She could never hurt Kara, and she never would. Even if it meant going against every ideology her family had instilled in her. Lena wanted to do good. And Kara was the best person she could think of. Aligning herself with the hero meant aligning herself with a being of pure light. She wanted to become a similar kind of beacon, and shepherd in advancements that would help Earth’s population to a safer, more equitable, more tolerant and more _tolerable_ existence. 

Despite Lex’s substandard mental faculties, he was still able to accurately assess his sister, it seemed. She wondered, suddenly, if that was why she had always been so easily taken by him; he and Kara were the only two people who had ever truly seen her. While Lex had tried to quash down the qualities that kept threatening to rise out of her like offshoots of wild florae, Kara cooed at them and encouraged their wayward journey to the surface. She shed light on them and nurtured them, where Lex stomped his foot and ripped them out of the ground before they could fend for themselves.

Her musings were cut off as Lex spoke once more, more solemn than he’d been during the whole visit to that point. “I wasn’t lying when I said you’d always fall into the light, Lena. Yes, I was trying to use you when I said that, but it only worked because it was true. It’s still surprising to me that you struggle to see it. Maybe if you had met your real mother, you’d believe me. She was so kind.”

Shockingly, Lena felt herself getting emotional at Lex’s simple words. She successfully steeled herself against any tears, but couldn’t help but ruminate over her brother’s statement. He was almost sweetly honest, unable to carry off deception even in the most basic form. Lena was thankful that she had been able to survive his repeated attempts to snuff out the goodness in her. He’d nearly been successful after Kara’s lie had come to the fore, but her flame had been rekindled and it was now burning stronger and brighter than ever. She felt at peace with her actions now. Lex was harmless. And though she was still remorseful at having essentially lobotomized her brother, she recognised that the feeling of remorse is what separated her from the demon he once was.

She wanted to ask him every question she could think of now, while he was being so open and honest and vulnerable. She wanted to hear his childlike version of things. But she didn’t want to do so in front of Lillian. And, oddly enough, she didn’t want to take advantage of him. Not for this.

Lillian was itching to leave, apparently, because she stood abruptly. “Well, this has been…enlightening, to say the least. Stay well, Lex. I’m assuming we’ll be seeing you next at your trial. I believe it’s been scheduled for early next year, but you know how dates get pushed back. The courts are overflowing anymore.”

Lena followed suit, rising starchily. “Best of luck in your eventual transfer to Albatross Bay. Perhaps the conditions will have improved by the time you arrive next year.”

Lex unsuccessfully tried to raise his hand again in a wave. “So you won’t be visiting again?”

Lena and Lillian looked at each other, a seconds-long conversation happening between their eyes. Lillian caved. “We’ll see, dear.”

Lena said nothing as they left the cell and stayed silent as they made their way out to the hired car that would bring them back into the heart of the city.

Once seated comfortably (or, as comfortably as the pairing of Lillian and Lena Luthor could be), Lillian spoke. “You handled yourself well today, Lena.”

Lena’s eyes widened slightly at the compliment, but she had no response. She waited for the backhanded aspect to make itself known, but, as Lillian turned more fully to gaze out of the car window, Lena realised it wasn’t coming. Settling back in her seat, she shut her eyes and imagined—not for the first time—what her family would be like if her biological mother hadn’t died.

~ ~ ~

Kara was shifting in her chair, trying to get comfortable. It always took a while for her to settle in during her sessions with Dr. Rothwell (or Molly, as she’d been reminded to call her). It’d already been 24 minutes (not that she was checking her watch _that_ regularly) and she was having difficulty relaying her main stressors since her last visit. She wasn’t accustomed to discussing her life in this amount of detail with anyone other than Alex, and now Lena. Telling a stranger that her Supergirl responsibilities still kept her up at night and that her superpowers were giving her grief felt like a taboo. Right now, she was trying to describe how challenging it had been for her to pass over the task of interrogating Lex to Lena. 

“I’m just worried about her. Her brother has always been good at getting under her skin, and it’s not really her job to keep tabs on him.”

Molly was sat across from her, listening patiently with a notepad in her lap. “Of course you’re worried about her. From what you’ve told me about their relationship, it’s not been the easiest. When you say it’s not her job…you’re implying that it’s yours.”

“Well, yeah. I’m Supergirl. _I_ should be the one checking in on Lex, and making sure there aren’t any more threats.”

“Even though there are governmental authorities whose literal employment descriptions involve preventing these kinds of terrorist attacks?”

Kara felt herself being led to a familiar line of argumentation. She sighed. “I know. I’m not responsible for every criminal or disaster that strikes Earth. But it just feels wrong not doing something when I have all these tools to help. I have…advantages that others don’t have.”

“Kara, you don’t owe anyone access to your gifts…How have the tools _I’ve_ given you been helping you cope with your anxieties?”

Kara reached forward and grabbed a candy from the bowl on the table between them. She knew that the sweets were there as a distraction, a way to focus her hands, if only momentarily, on something else. She didn’t like the idea of Molly seeing her hesitation. She had made sure to tell her in their first session just how much she loved candy, as if that was the only reason for her frequent use of the bowl. Popping a green Jolly Rancher in her mouth, she leaned back in her seat.

“I was dealing with an alien the other day…I accidentally set a building on fire with my heat vision. My aim was off and I used too much power. No one got hurt, thank goodness, but it was scary. I’ve tried meditating and focusing on my body and everything, like you said. I just can’t seem to stop myself from getting caught up in the middle of a fight…”

Molly jotted something on her pad without looking down. Kara ignored the movement. She hated the thought of being analysed, but Molly always made an effort to keep the conversation as natural as possible.

“Have you thought any more about taking some time off from being Supergirl? You’ve mentioned that these threats aren’t anything the DEO can’t handle on its own…”

“I can’t do that.” Kara replied immediately, but when she tried to think of the arguments to back up her statement, she floundered. “I…I’ve been trying to go out less, only when I’m _really_ needed. But I just feel guilty…hearing someone in trouble and ignoring it. I wish…I wish I was just…” She was getting emotional. She knew it was selfish to sometimes wish her powers away. And besides, it wasn’t what she truly wanted. Her powers were a major part of her life on Earth. And she loved her life on Earth. She loved being able to help. She just wished she could feel at peace with her role.

“Kara, why do you think you’re feeling these emotions of guilt? What goes through your head when you’re feeling guilty?”

Kara began relaying her story as if on autopilot. “I was sent here to protect my cousin. When I got here, he didn’t need my protection anymore. When I decided to come out as Supergirl, it was so that I could _help_ …someone. Anyone who needed it. Otherwise…what was the point of my parents saving me? They could have sent anyone in that pod. I have to make it worthwhile.”

Molly was quiet. They’d discussed her arrival on Earth at length, in her first few sessions, but Kara had never revealed her initial mission before.

“Kara…I think that, more than anything, your parents would want you to be happy and healthy. You were thirteen when you were sent away, and being tasked with taking care of an infant, let alone an entire planet worth of individuals, seems like a lot to ask. It’s not realistic for one person to take all that on. And Kara, you don’t have to.”

Kara felt her mouth contorting as she tried to contain the tears making themselves known in her eyes. “I know. I know it’s not realistic.” She sucked in a deep breath, steadying herself to continue. “But I’ve beaten the odds before. Many times, actually. I just feel nervous when I sit still for too long. I never used to be like this…Now it’s like I can’t _not_ listen. I’m constantly scanning the city for crime. Even when I don’t mean to. It’s hurting my friends…I think it…it has been for a while.”

“When you feel guilty, or nervous, it seems to make your job more difficult for you. You’re afraid of failing. Of letting someone get hurt.”

“Yes. My hands shake and my powers go all wonky…”

“Kara, when you first came here, the first thing you wanted to talk about was how you tried to protect Lena from getting hurt. You hid your identity from her for years, under the guise of protection.”

Kara was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. She shoved another bon-bon in her mouth quickly, the sugar making the medicine of the session go down a tad easier. “Yes. I tried so hard to protect her, but that just made the eventual hurt that much worse. It nearly broke her. _Us_.”

“You can’t save everyone from everything Kara. It’s admirable, to an extent. But after a certain point, thinking that you _can_ save everyone is a problem in and of itself. I know the consequences for you are sometimes literally life or death. But we’ve already discussed how, sometimes, the world won’t end if Supergirl makes a mistake.”

Kara nodded, swallowing shallowly. “Yeah and there are other people who can help. Who _have_ helped. Even if I mess up, there’s the police, or the DEO, or Lena, or Brainy…”

“That’s right. You, Kara, are responsible first and foremost to yourself. Then to your friends and family. And then to those you feel you can help. If you aren’t okay, how can you expect to help others?”

Molly took a sip of water as Kara fiddled with the candy wrappers in her lap. They stared at each other expectantly. Kara broke the silence.

“All of that makes sense, but it doesn’t feel like that in the moment.”

“You have your mantra, and your grounding techniques. Keep trying, Kara. It will only get better with practice. Write down your thoughts and feelings the next time this happens. It may not feel like it, but you’re already making progress. Just the fact that we can even discuss these things together is a huge step.”

Kara nodded and looked steadfastly at the table, blushing. She was used to automatically succeeding at most things she attempted. It had initially been hard to get over the fact of having her weaknesses out in the open for Molly to see. She was grateful for the encouragement. It hadn’t felt like she was making much progress. In fact, having these emotions purposefully brought to the surface once a week, on top of her episodes outside of Molly’s office, had been making her feel moody and out of control. This was the first time she hadn’t lashed out at the woman for her comments and advice. 

They only had two minutes left and Kara was relieved. She was too exhausted to delve into another topic. She tried to make small talk, hating the sound of silence, despite Molly’s outward comfort with their situation.

“Any plans for this afternoon?”

“Oh, just one more client after this and then I’m thinking takeout for dinner. You?”

Kara smiled. The thought of takeout was calming to her. She should have known Molly wouldn’t reveal much of her personal life—she was very professional.

“I’m gonna swing by Lena’s…see how today went. Maybe we’ll get food too.” She stood, collecting her bag and tossing out the sweet wrappers and tissues.

Molly returned her grin and stood up, guiding Kara out. “I’ll see you next week, Kara.”

~ ~ ~

Entering into the cool darkness of her apartment, Lena let out a prolonged sigh. She kicked off her heels and made a beeline toward the bottle of Ardbeg that she kept in her liquor cabinet. It had been something she kept on hand for emergencies or special occasions, but she found the bottle (and its successors) had been steadily depleted over the past year.

Despite having come out of the day’s interactions decidedly on top, she felt like she’d just sparred two rounds against the extremely agile Alex Danvers. It didn’t help that her muscles were still sore from their last bout.

She leaned on the unyielding granite of the countertop and sipped at her scotch, too tired to move to a more comfortable location. She didn’t know where that would be anyway. Kara’s was beginning to feel more at home than her spacious penthouse apartment. The white furnishings were chosen for their air of cleanliness, something she valued highly, but she acknowledged that the place felt more sterile than anything. She tapped a finger against her glass as she contemplated a redesign. Nothing major, just a few colours to accent her spotless couches, and maybe some weird, kitschy art. Kara would love to help pick it out with her. Maybe she’d paint something herself. Lena knew that she would if asked. It would be a great excuse to channel some of Kara’s nervous energy away from Supergirl, or Catco, and back into something relaxing.

Slouching further, she rubbed a hand at her temples. She had to send the intel she’d gathered off to J’onn and Brainy. They were taking the lead on coordinating with law enforcement. Lena was grateful to be able to contribute without having to actually talk to any DEO agents. Since the Superfriends had all left the DEO’s walls, she found herself reverting back to her standard level of distrust for any and all governmental organisations. Alex had reassured her that the new director was someone whom she trusted and had trained, personally, during her time there. She’d have to learn to start putting her faith in something other than herself, and this was a good as place as any to start.

A light tapping at the glass pane of her balcony window startled her from her spot in the kitchen. Supergirl was standing just outside with a heaping bag of Big Belly Burger. Lena was suddenly aware of her stomach attempting to devour itself. She’d forgotten to eat today.

Stepping over to let her girlfriend inside, she realised she had also been lacking Kara’s warmth. Kara speed-changed into her regular clothes, but walked at human pace with Lena to take a seat at the couch. No one ate burgers and fries at a dining table as fancy as Lena’s. Once they were properly reacquainted and settled on the couch, Lena took the lead, wading into the subjects that needed discussing.

“How was your session with Molly today?” Lena always made a point to ask about Kara’s progress with her therapy. She was intrigued about the process and wanted to hear what made it such an effective method for such a wide range of individuals. Trying to show her support in this way had yielded mixed results so far. Either Kara overshared and reiterated the session word-for-word, or she became incredibly terse and tense and shut down entirely. Lena was aiming for the sweet and elusive middle ground.

Kara was chewing carefully, trying to digest the entirety of her mouthful before speaking. Lena recognised the delaying tactic plainly, but allowed her the grace period. “It went well. She said I’m doing well.” She frowned slightly, taking a sip of her soda. “It doesn’t really feel like much has changed, but I guess today _was_ different.”

“How so?” Lena was attempting not to sound too overjoyed with the news that Kara was doing well. She knew these things didn’t work linearly, and that the backslide would be more difficult if she was hyperbolic in her praise.

“This was the first time I got through the whole thing without shutting it down, or, well…without getting angry, I guess. It’s hard to talk to Molly about…about Supergirl things.”

Lena knew that “Supergirl things” could entail just about anything, from Kara’s life on Krypton, to the lapse in control of her powers, to the burden of concealing her identity. She felt the now-familiar twinge at the knowledge that Kara was pouring her soul out to a stranger about topics that she had willingly kept from Lena for years. If anything, _she_ should be the one to help Kara with these issues. She tossed away her irritation. She knew a crucial element of talk therapy was that the therapist be an objective listener. Besides, there were probably issues relating to their relationship that Kara had to work through as well.

She must have been quiet for too long, because Kara cleared her throat awkwardly. She had, of course, already finished her meal.

Lena rushed to fill the silence. “I’m really glad you’re talking about these things, Kara. You know…you can talk to me as well. If something comes up that…I don’t know…”

“I know, Lena.” Kara smiled and shuffled over to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “How did today go for you?”

Lena pushed the leftover fifth of her burger and remaining six fries toward Kara and readjusted to face her more directly on the couch.

“It was hard. But I got the information. And Lillian wasn’t too awful. I just…” She trailed off. She was trying to find the words to describe Lex’s new _persona_ and the way the seismic shift in their entire family dynamic made her feel off-kilter. She didn’t quite know what to do without the looming presence of her brother impeding her progress. The prospect of such uninhibited freedom was startlingly open.

Kara grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers, waiting patiently for Lena to continue. She must have been quite worried about Lena’s response to the visit, because the leftover food was going untouched. She hadn’t even glanced at it since Lena began talking.

“I felt guilty…seeing him in there. He was so different, Kara. Still a total dick, but almost like a child. Totally helpless.” She surprised herself, feeling her eyes well up.

Kara pressed a kiss to her forehead and squeezed her fingers. “It’s okay if you still love him, you know. He _is_ your brother.”

Lena settled for a tight-lipped smile, peering at Kara through watery eyes. “Whatever it was between me and Lex, it wasn’t love.” Her eyes darted against her will toward the dwindling bottle of scotch on the island.

Kara looked like she was about to provide an argument for why Lena’s sadness in this moment was valid, but she didn’t want to hear it. “Kara, it’s not really love if the other person doesn’t love you back.”

The blonde’s mouth quirked downward at that and Lena watched as she redirected her gaze to their joined hands. Lena’s heart caught in her throat as she was reminded of the growing bulk of Kara’s “I love yous” piling up against her continued, choking inability to reciprocate them.

She hated that she was inadvertently hurting Kara. She just wasn’t ready. Kara wasn’t pushing her and had never seemed upset before now, but it was clear that it was beginning to weigh on her mind. Now that she was spending so much time sorting through her feelings in therapy, Lena’s comparative lack of inner maintenance was an unfavourable juxtaposition. It felt unfair to Lena, like the whole thing was an implicit repudiation of her own coping mechanisms, of her own means of communicating emotion.

She rose abruptly to grab the bottle of Ardbeg and poured the last of its contents into her glass, hoping the sensation of the liquor sliding smoothly down her throat would help her to swallow the irrational irritation rising in her chest. Sitting back down, she silently dared Kara to comment on her choice of beverage. She didn’t.

“You don’t have to console me, Kara. Sometimes things are just shitty—in fact, most things are—and when you come here and you make everything seem okay, it just makes me feel guilty because I can’t offer you the same. I don’t know how to make everything seem fine.” She took one last gulp of her drink, whispering the thought she had been concealing with the performance of her hurt. “I have nothing to offer you.”

Kara took in the scene before her, but Lena could detect no judgment behind her eyes, just patience and softness. She didn’t even take a moment to think before responding. “Lena you make me feel safe…and that’s not nothing. It’s…it’s the opposite of nothing.”

Lena felt the anxiety drain from her body as quickly as it had come on. Alex had mentioned to her that she had noticed Kara’s mood shifting unpredictably, in anger or sadness, but Lena felt sometimes that _she_ was the one who had difficulty controlling herself. She’d taken to imagining her and Kara as a vicious lion and its tamer, but she felt now that maybe they were both just flailing, stupid, fucked up people who took it in turns to subdue the other. Kara didn’t seem to be the least bit surprised by the darkness that had suddenly filled the room. It took just one sentence of reassurance, one flick of a switch, to shine a light on the issue and to successfully quell Lena’s insecurities. 

And Kara wasn’t done just yet. “And I think it _is_ love, even if it’s one-sided. As long as the other person feels it, and accepts it.”

Lena didn’t respond, just leaned over and kissed her softly, before settling with her head on Kara’s shoulder. “There you go, making everything seem okay again.”

Kara laughed lightly, undoubtedly glad at the change in mood. “Maybe it’s because things actually _are_ okay.” Lena pondered over the veracity of this statement. It was true: She had a horrible habit of seeing things as stormy and grey. The hand tucking hair behind her ear calmed her enough to try to explain herself.

“Kara, I _do_ feel your love…and…it’s not one-sided.”

Lena stared into the blue eyes before her and saw contentment lighting their depths. Just then, she recalled something that might make it a more permanent fixture.

“I decided on a name for LuthorCorp.” She hesitated slightly, but saw only love in Kara’s face. “It’ll be El-Corp, again. But…this time it’ll be El…like the House of El.”

Kara grinned widely and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Lena figured her revelation wasn’t quite an “I love you,” but it _was_ headed in that direction. 

Kara said nothing, but she did curl around her body extra tightly later, when they were tucked into Lena’s roomy king-sized bed. Its expanse probably made them look like two penguins huddling for warmth in a blanket of snow.

Lena had one final miniature spike of anxiety as she fell off to sleep, realising that she’d forgotten to cancel the damn book club. Now she’d have to actually discuss her literary thoughts with Kelly, Eve, and, somehow, Andrea. She relaxed quickly though, emulating Kara’s sunny outlook. It might be fun. She liked Kelly, she respected Eve’s mind, and Andrea really could use some friends. _She_ could really use some friends.

Kara’s presence, in combination with her ultimate guilty pleasure food, proved to be a more effective mood stabilizer than her beloved scotch whiskey in the end. For once, she drifted off into a totally dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on tumblr : vaguenessarda


	12. xii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Game Night folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly light-hearted, but please be aware that there are mentions of abuse going forward. As usual, thanks for reading!
> 
> https://youtu.be/LcyVi1Kspzc?t=37  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=yevjnq3PQAmOyfqP3sN3xA

Lena had been standing outside the door to Kara’s loft for a good eight minutes. She was trying to summon up the courage to enter. Inside, she knew she’d find the Superfriends all congregated for a traditional game night—the first such event since the defeat of Leviathan. It was the first Friday night that everyone had off from work or crime-fighting or previous engagements. It would also be the first time Lena and Kara revealed to their friends the change in their relationship status. She switched the bottle of wine she’d brought from one hand to the other. She’d been about to knock, _really, she had_ , when Kara opened the door and joined her outside.

“Lena, you’ve been out here for a while and your heart is racing.” Lena exhaled, clutching the bottle tightly before Kara captured her mouth in a pacifying pull of her lips. She took the bottle from Lena’s hands and extended her palm in an offer of physical support. “If it’s too soon, we don’t have to tell them tonight.”

“No. I want them to know.” And she did. She was happier than she’d been since, well, ever. And a side-effect of that happiness was apparently wanting to showcase it and share it with others. Besides, Alex and Kelly already knew. It was only a matter of time before the secret slipped out to Nia. The young woman _was_ a reporter, and, while Kara had successfully hidden a secret identity for six years now, she wasn’t exactly sneaky. Her lunchtime visits to El-Corp were increasing in their frequency and in their duration. On top of all that, Lena strongly suspected that J’onn somehow already knew. He was certainly aware of _her_ feelings, at least. The only person Lena was sure they could fool was Brainy. While he was extraordinarily perceptive in most things, he didn’t exactly exude his usual curiosity when it came to his friends’ love lives. 

“Are you sure? Because we can wait longer. You seem very nervous.” Kara pulled her closer, peering into her face, trying to find the fault line in Lena’s façade.

“I’m sure. I _am_ nervous, but it’s a good nervous.” She tugged on the collar of Kara’s shirt, pulling her down for a reassuring kiss. She was actually excited to be able to do this kind of thing openly. She’d been waiting years for this kind of freedom.

Kara smiled and led her inside.

Everyone was already seated comfortably, spread out in Kara’s living area with their drinks dwindling. Kara guided Lena over to their usual spot together on the couch with a hand at her back, before returning to pour her a glass in the kitchen. Lena was greeted with bright smiles and loud invitations to join the game of Jenga they were currently playing. The volume suggested that she’d have some catching up to do. She took a healthy sip of her wine once Kara had returned, her arm spanning naturally across Lena’s tense shoulders.

She felt a touch warm despite her relatively casual attire of jeans and a loose, short-sleeved blouse. She turned to Kara. “It’s hot in here.”

“Oh, yeah. The AC broke this afternoon. They’re coming to fix it tomorrow, but it could get pretty warm...”

The Kryptonian seemed unconcerned with the temperature in her apartment. She wasn’t susceptible to the heat. Lena could see the sweat forming on Brainy’s brow as he cautiously prodded a Jenga block out of the tower. It was going to be an interesting evening, to say the least. The dead of summer heat, the alcohol, and the general rowdiness of the Superfriends meant she’d probably be borrowing a pair of Kara’s shorts before the night was over.

Alex, who had been watching the riveting Jenga action, tuned in to their discussion as she made her move. “We should’ve had game night at J’onn’s. I had no idea we were going to be cooked alive.” She pumped her fist as she completed her move, leaving a teetering but still standing tower. 

“I like it!” Nia was ever the optimist. “It adds to the ambiance.”

“What ambiance? My shirt is stuck to my back,” Alex grumbled, but Kelly whispered something in her ear that had her blushing.

Lena turned to Kara, arching an eyebrow as if to suggest that now was a good a time as any to make their announcement. The less of a deal they made of it, the better. Kara nodded and moved her arm from her shoulders to the hand that wasn’t gripping a wine glass like a lifeline.

Unfortunately, Nia’s attempt at a manoeuvre destined for failure resulted in the collapse of the tower just as Kara opened her mouth to speak. The table was quickly cleared and primed for their next game. Brainy cleared his throat unsubtly as Alex unfurled an easel pad for Pictionary. He clearly wanted the attention of the raucous room.

“I have an announcement to make.” He stood awkwardly with his hands behind his back. He looked down briefly at Nia, who smiled in encouragement, before nodding to himself. “I’d like to take this opportunity, while we are all gathered here as friends, to divulge that I am asexual, or ace, as it is called in the community.” He fiddled awkwardly with his Legion ring, which he was now wearing on the middle finger of his right hand. “That is all.”

He sat down promptly and Nia grabbed his hand. Lena wasn’t surprised by the revelation. By now she was used to Brainy’s special brand of inelegance. The group was slightly stunned by the timing, but quickly shifted to offering words of support. J’onn clapped him on the back before going to fetch another drink.

“Thank you for sharing with us, Brainy.” Kelly was always adept at summarising what needed to be said.

Lena looked surreptitiously at Kara and they agreed silently that they wouldn’t be following up that prepared speech with one of their own. She took a swig of wine. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too obvious to the others that they were closer than before.

~ ~ ~

She needn’t have worried about concealing their new closeness. Kara was touching her as much as ever and there was nary a comment. Alex rolled her eyes in their direction whenever she happened to glimpse Kara’s hand on Lena’s bare thigh (she’d changed out of her sweltering jeans and into a pair of Kara’s gym shorts almost immediately). But no one batted an eye when Lena, upon returning with another refill, bent and brushed her lips against the blonde’s ear as she whispered real estate advice during her turn in Monopoly. It made her wonder whether their friends were just _that_ oblivious or, maybe, (and more plausibly) whether she and Kara had always been a little bit too touchy to be _just_ friends. 

Nia had walked in on them in the kitchen not half an hour ago. Kara had Lena pinned against the counter, preparing to bend down for a kiss no doubt, when Nia had strolled in, popped open the fridge, and asked Kara if she had any more of the spicy salsa. Kara had stuttered out a response as Lena snorted into her glass and made her way back to the couch.

The game was heating up. Alex had already had to take two cool-down laps in front of the overworked fan to stop herself from throwing her brightly coloured Monopoly money on the floor. She was losing badly. J’onn and Brainy had removed themselves from competition, and were now lounging by the open balcony window, chatting about business and waiting for the next round.

Lena was nonchalantly crushing her friends. She had polished off the bottle she’d brought after finding herself in an unspoken war with the elder Danvers, matching her drink for drink. She hadn’t even been employing her usual tactics to win at Monopoly. She was merely enjoying the company of her friends and trying not to melt into a puddle. She _had_ discovered a new ploy, however.

She’d landed on one of Kara’s properties and drunkenly complained about the cost of rent. She’d been joking, of course, but Kara, who had consumed just two alien beers but was a notorious lightweight, tugged at the ends of one of her French braid pigtails and indulged her whining.

“Aww, it’s okay. You can stay for free, baby.”

She felt the temperature in her cheeks rise even more and hid behind her glass as Alex groaned audibly. “That’s not fair! How are any of us supposed to have a fair shake at this stupid game if you cheat?!” She tossed her money at Kelly, who was openly snickering at her girlfriend’s competition-induced rage, and stomped off to fetch another beer.

They were all laughing more than was warranted, thanks to their level of tipsiness. Lena was giggling and gave Kara an exaggeratedly loud peck on the cheek in thanks. She angled her face toward the kitchen so Alex could hear her next taunting words. “It’s called nepotism, Alex. You should really try it. Oh, wait. You already have. You work for me! Ha!”

Nia was doubled over on the ground in laughter; the multiple Dark ‘n’ Stormies Lena had concocted for her had clearly made their way to her head.

Alex plopped back down in her seat and wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead. Lena knew she had had too much to drink when she found herself offering up her own apartment for the next gathering.

“Next time we can do this at mine. There’s more space _and_ reliable air conditioning.”

Kelly beamed. “That’s a great idea!” At Alex’s scowl, she added. “Oh, come on Alex, just because she’s winning at Monopoly doesn’t mean we can’t visit her apartment.”

“It’d be like stepping behind enemy lines!” Kelly poked her in the stomach, and Alex quickly revised her position. “Fine, fine, yes Lena, I’ll go to your rich person penthouse and kick your ass at Pictionary on home turf.”

“Hey, I’m not _that_ bad of an artist. Kara, tell her.” She looked toward her girlfriend who was by all accounts just happy to sit back and watch Alex rib her.

Kara tried to fiddle with glasses she wasn’t wearing and Lena pouted. The action meant she was trying to word something Lena wouldn’t like. Kara cleared her throat and decided on a diplomatic answer. “It was a very creative imagining of a grapefruit.”

“It looked like a vagina,” Alex deadpanned.

“That was _your_ interpretation. Kelly, maybe you could enlighten your girlfriend as to why she’s seeing vaginas in drawings of harmless, household fruits. You studied psychoanalysis, right?” Lena slurred slightly toward the end, but was proud of her comeback.

Alex huffed. “Freud can go fuck himself.”

Kelly was shaking her head in amusement. “Sure, babe. You’re not obsessed with vaginas at all.” 

“Hey! Hey Lena.” Kara was bouncing excitedly in her seat. “I just remembered! Tell them about El-Corp’s latest breakthrough.” J’onn and Brainy had returned to the group, no doubt having sensed that Monopoly was nearing its premature end.

Lena found herself blushing slightly once again for a reason other than the oppressive heat. “Ehm, well Alex knows all this already, but we’ve finally succeeded in our trials for our portable blood patch. Essentially, it determines any deficiencies in a patient’s blood using just a drop, and then dispenses medication appropriately.” 

Alex clinked her bottle with Lena’s glass in triumph, adding a loud “Elizabeth Holmes can suck it!” to the end of the brief explanation. 

J’onn looked impressed and tilted his bottle toward Lena. “You’ll be helping countless people with that device. Well done.” 

“Thanks, J’onn. We’re set to launch the prototype in 500 pharmacies across three states next week.” Lena grinned shyly as Kara squeezed her hand in support. She was incredibly proud of her team. It was a remarkably quick turnaround, especially given the setbacks the company had suffered under Lex’s reign. 

Nia looked flabbergasted. She had her hands on her face and her mouth hanging open like a comical impression of _The Scream_. Brainy smiled proudly.

Lena made the mistake of allowing herself the brief thought that this evening was going just swimmingly when there was a knock at the door. _Who the hell is looking for Kara at 10 p.m.? Everyone is here_.

Kara squinted, x-raying through the door, and her face scrunched up at whoever she saw. “What the heck is William doing here?” She rushed into her room to grab her glasses, smashing them onto her face before reluctantly going to greet him at the door.

Lena’s mood took a nosedive once she heard the man’s name. The rest of the group looked mostly confused, save for Nia who was wringing her hands. “Ah, sorry. I invited him after he overheard me at work. I didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal…”

At that, Lena had the sudden realisation that she had not had quite enough to drink. She’d need a bit more of a liquid layer of courage to deal with a fully-grown man pining pathetically over her girlfriend. She caught Kelly’s eye and found the other woman sending a sympathetic smile her way.

Kara made her way back to Lena’s side after doling out a refill to everyone except Nia, who was looking worse for wear. William took a seat on the floor next to Nia, beer in hand. He felt too at home for Lena’s liking. She had an unpleasant feeling that he had been here before.

“Sorry I’m late to the party. I was finishing up on a story and lost track of time. You know how it is, right Kara?” He sent a crooked smile toward the blonde, but her eyes were on Lena, who had been unrestrainedly rolling her eyes at William’s alibi.

An awkward pause followed as Kara realised belatedly that he had been speaking to her. “Oh, yeah. Right.”

J’onn begged off shortly after William’s arrival, citing the need for beauty sleep. Nia was nodding off on Brainy’s shoulder. Lena took the opportunity to jump up and fetch her some caffeine, if only for something to do. Kelly was on her heels as she entered the kitchen area. She felt Kara’s eyes on the back of her head as she prepped a mug for Nia and refilled her own glass.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kelly looked concerned and far more sober than anyone else in the room, save for William.

“I’m fine, Kelly. I know Kara’s not interested in him. It’s just annoying that he’s here at all. I mean…She shouldn’t have to wear her glasses when she’s relaxing at home.”

“Yeah. It’s unfortunate. Especially since no one knows you’re together yet.”

“Right.” She took a sip of her wine, waiting impatiently for the coffeemaker to do its thing.

Kelly watched her drink warily, but said nothing more. She grabbed an unopened bag of Smartfood and brought it back to pour into the depleted bowl on the coffee table.

Lena placed the steaming mug of black coffee in front of Nia, who perked up at the aroma and gulped it back at an alarming rate. Brainy thanked her silently with a tilt of his head.

“Just in time Luthor, we’re getting ready for a few rounds of Truth or Dare.” Alex was beyond tipsy at this point, but clearly having a ball now that Lena was back for her to tease. She didn’t mind it, being the target of lighthearted jabs as opposed to emotional daggers.

She arched a brow. “Truth or Dare? Are we in middle school?”

It was Kara who replied, exuberantly. “C’mon Lena! It’ll be fun!” She threw her arms around Lena, nearly causing her to slosh her drink on the already questionably laundered couch. The puppy eyes gazing up at her were proving to be undeniable.

Sighing with mock exasperation, she flicked at Kara’s protruding lower lip and nodded her agreement to the choice in game. It took all her will power to not just push forward and capture her pouting lip between her teeth. Say what you will about her current state, but Lena Luthor could hold her booze well enough to resist the temptation that was Kara Danvers. That had to count for something.

Nia had sobered up enough to participate, apparently, because she was already offering amendments to the game’s rules. “How about instead of Truth or Dare we do Truth or Drink? I don’t feel like moving.” Lena could see why, she was nestled cozily into Brainy’s side, gripping her mug with both hands like she was finishing off a cup of a particularly delicious soup. 

“Sounds good to me.” Alex agreed from her position on the floor leaning back into Kelly’s legs. 

“Um, maybe just water shots for you though, Nia.” Kelly extended a glass toward the younger woman who accepted it readily enough.

Alex was pouring Espolòn into a row of shot glasses on the table as she explained the rules. “So you can either answer the question or you have to take a shot. I’ll go first.”

Lena grimaced at the tequila lined up in front of her. Normally she’d be glad for the alternative to blabbing out a secret, no matter how juvenile or impersonal, but she wasn’t sure how much of the devil’s drink she could stomach. To make matters worse, she knew that the more shots she did, the looser her lips would become. Damn this game. 

Alex was taking a menacing pull from her bottle as she decided on her first victim. Lena felt like she was in a low-stakes Russian roulette. “Kara! What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”

Kara put a hand to her chin playfully, as if in deep thought. Lena couldn’t help but admire the flex of her bicep at the gesture. She was wearing her favourite short sleeved white button-down with the dinosaur print and was the only person in the boiling apartment who hadn’t broken into a sweat. Lena was finding it increasingly difficult to restrict her wandering eyes.

After a prolonged moment of thought, Kara reached out and slammed back one of the tequila shots, cringing wildly at the taste. Alex looked like she was about to protest the action, seeing as the alcohol didn’t even affect the alien, but she was forced to stop once she remembered William’s presence.

William spoke up with what was clearly meant to be a breezy comment, but came off as contrived. “I hope that shot wasn’t taken for my sake.”

Kara said nothing in response, just moved on to her own target. “Kelly…” Kara had her hands steepled together like a movie villain, her eyes narrowed in contemplation of her sister’s girlfriend. “What’s something you’re glad your mom doesn’t know about you?”

“Oooh! That’s a good one Kara!” Nia clapped excitedly, turning her gaze toward Kelly for the answer.

Kelly swirled her wine as she thought of the answer. “Hmmm…I’m glad she doesn’t know that I despise her cooking.” She smiled and shrugged a shoulder.

“Oh my god. Why didn’t you warn me of this before I agreed to visit her with you? I’m a terrible actress, Kel, you know this.” Alex looked like she was desperately plotting a way out of the homecooked meal.

Kelly ran a hand through Alex’s hair placatingly. “Don’t worry, babe. We’ll just take her out to a restaurant when we go.” She sipped her wine slowly and turned to Nia. “Nia, what’s the biggest misconception about you?”

Alex frowned and threw her hands up, miming exasperation. “This game is supposed to be about spicy secrets, not deep questions.”

Nia pondered her answer regardless. “I don’t know about misconception, but the biggest assumption people make about me is probably that I’m like, a spokesperson for every trans person.” She shrugged. “It’s pretty exhausting. Now…Alex…What’s the most trouble you’ve been in? Excluding work stuff!”

Kara had mentioned Alex’s “party days” to Lena briefly, and she wondered if she would finally hear the details of her escapades. Alex took no time in making her decision to down a shot instead of fielding the question though. It made her wonder if the particulars were juicier than she’d previously thought.

It was Alex’s turn again and Lena was baffled when the redhead didn’t use the opportunity to needle her some more. Maybe she’d learned her lesson about taking it too far after the disastrous double date last month.

“Brainy, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to anyone?” Alex watched him closely as he eyed the tequila like it was a deadly poison. Eventually, he reached out, pinched his nose, and swallowed the clear liquid.

~ ~ ~

Several rounds had gone by and Lena had been forced to suck back two shots in order to evade prying questions from Nia and William, of all people. She wasn’t about to divulge to the group that her first celebrity crush had been Ada Lovelace or that her biggest fear was being misunderstood. She did toss the gossip-starved hounds she called friends a bone when she revealed that she had a weakness for muscles. It was easy enough to admit—it seemed fairly obvious anyhow.

In return, she’d discovered that Kara’s most embarrassing moment was when she had broken a boy’s nose while making out in high school. The most disgusting thing Alex had ever done was drink a vegetable smoothie Kelly had made for her one morning. Nia had a hidden talent for juggling. William had taken a shot when asked who he would most like to kiss in the room and Lena glared at his relaxed form, guessing his answer. 

The game was veering into dangerous territory now. The questions were all becoming sexual in nature, as these things were wont to do. The problem was that Lena was quite drunk at this point (as were Alex, Nia, and William). She didn’t want another shot, but she couldn’t fathom answering such personal questions in front of all these people (not to mention Kara’s sister). She would have preferred being spared the onus of knowing the number of people Alex had slept with, or Nia’s favourite position.

“Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?” Nia apparently thought this was a good bonding question, because she directed it at William, who had no qualms about responding.

“Probably Cardiff.” He looked thoughtfully out the window as he replied and then promptly chugged back the rest of his beer, casting his eyes over to where Lena and Kara were sitting cozily on the couch. It was too warm to cuddle, but Lena had her legs in Kara’s lap. The blonde was absent-mindedly massaging her feet. Lena was, for once, thankful for her poor circulation—it meant that despite it being hotter than the inside of a furnace, her feet weren’t sweaty, just warm.

“Lena, we haven’t heard much from you this evening.” She frowned at the claim. She wished she was hearing less from William, in general. She braced herself for a prying inquisition into her bedroom forays. “What’s the worst thing anyone’s ever done to you?” He sat back on his hands, admiring the devastating question he’d crafted.

It was a lose-lose, really, answering or taking a shot. But Lena’s offhanded response was borne more out of a desire to contradict William’s smugness than of any kind of preservation of her sobriety.

“Oh, probably when Lionel, my dad, would get completely pissed and rip me away from the piano if I played while he was on the phone for business.” She’d left out some awful specifics, but she was successful in shutting up the smarmy reporter with what she’d disclosed regardless.

Her Irish accent had come out in full force with the amount she’d imbibed. She half expected Kara to comment on it—she’d mentioned that she thought it was cute. But when Lena looked up, the blonde had gone rigid and stopped massaging her feet. Her eyes were glistening with concern. 

The room had gone disturbingly quiet, undoubtedly filling in the blanks she’d left, and she immediately felt guilty for making everyone uncomfortable. They’d been having such a good time and she had ruined it with her family drama. She was so inured to Luthorian bullshit that she sometimes forgot that pitch-black humour didn’t go over well with most audiences.

William apparently decided that now was a great time to make one final error in etiquette for the evening, and tried to double-down on her Truth with an off-colour joke of his own. “Er, I guess I’ll never ask for a concert then.”

Things were awkward after that, but they carried on for another couple of rounds. Lena tried to tackle the sudden tension in the room by following up with a softball lobbed at Kelly, but the mood had shifted irrevocably.

After responding to her third inquiry of the night, Kara rose stiffly, avoiding any and all eye contact. “I’m tired.” She faked a yawn and a stretch. “I’ll clean this all up tomorrow, thanks for coming everyone.”

None of the Superfriends commented on the abrupt dismissal. They all dispersed, bringing stray glasses and bottles over to the sink. Lena could hear them all coordinating rides and Lyfts by the door as she began loading Kara’s dishwasher.

William seemed extremely out of place, clearly having no clue as to why the night had taken the turn it had. He thanked Kara for her hospitality and trotted out the door behind Nia and Brainy. Kara’s uncharacteristic coolness seemed to disturb him more than the heated looks the rest of the crew had been sending him. If there was any room for her internal temperature to rise, Lena knew she’d feel warmth at her friends’ implicit support.

As it was, she waved goodbye to Alex and Kelly and turned back to Kara, who was hunched over her dining table, muttering to herself.

“Darling? Are you alright?” She reached out to place a hand on Kara’s back, but the Kryptonian stood up straight and began pacing away from Lena. She was clenching and unclenching her fists and her eyes were screwed shut. Lena realised she was experiencing one of her episodes. That knowledge did nothing to quell the anxiety and helplessness she felt, however. She didn’t know how to help her girlfriend. She approached slowly and took her arm into her firm grasp.

“Kara? Talk to me.”

~ ~ ~

Kara was upset. She ought to be consoling Lena and asking her if she wanted to discuss what was obviously a horrific childhood memory. Instead, she was barely containing herself. For the first time that night, she felt the heat of the apartment pressing in on her from all sides, boxing her into her own body. She felt claustrophobic and tense. She was angry at William for showing up unannounced, and she was _livid_ with him for putting Lena in such an uncomfortable position. She was also slightly annoyed at Nia for inviting him in the first place.

She tried to slow her breathing and stopped pacing so she could face Lena, whose voice was rising in concern. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m just…having difficulty controlling my powers right now. I’m sorry.” She rubbed harshly at her face, tossing her glasses aside when they impeded her progress.

Lena tightened her grip on her arm. “Don’t be sorry, Kara, just tell me how I can help.”

She tried to focus on the soothing sound of Lena’s voice. Her accent made Kara smile, but she knew she would have difficulty grounding herself with the threatening unknowns that were the gaps in Lena’s story. “Lena, you don’t…you don’t have to tell me…but…your dad, did he…?”

Kara watched the journey Lena’s face took as it went from automatic shutdown at the question to a concerted effort for impassivity to decided, open vulnerability. She was awed by the control her girlfriend maintained over her emotions. She felt comparatively feral.

“Yes.” Lena’s hand was stroking her arm now, and her eyes followed its motion. “When he was drunk he’d get physical. Lex and I used to hide out in our treehouse when we knew he’d be…indisposed. But eventually it became so frequent that we couldn’t predict it. The worst was before I was sent to boarding school, when Lex had already gone off to college. I had to deal with him on my own until he died.” 

Kara was trembling. The details did nothing to calm her, but didn’t worsen things either. She swallowed hard, willing herself to say something. Her mouth had gone dry. “I’m so sorry.” She wanted to say more, but faltered. She felt useless. She was supposed to be strong for Lena. And here she was, shaking like a leaf at someone else’s trauma. In that moment she felt an intense self-loathing of the kind she had not experienced since she had come-to after the Red Kryptonite debacle.

She pulled away from Lena as a bolt of rage sparked through her. She could hear the blasted sirens in the city like they were being pumped directly into her ears. She took in Lena’s glassy green eyes and turned her head just as she let out a sizzling stream of heat from her eyes. She scorched a path up the wall before finally gaining enough control to stop herself. She shut her eyes almost violently and stumbled backwards, knocking into her disused easel, which crumbled on impact.

She finally steadied herself against the back of the couch and opened her eyes slowly once she knew no lasers would be expelled of their own volition.

Deeply ashamed, she looked to where Lena was standing stock still. Kara felt like she was going to throw up at the look on her face, which she interpreted as pure, unadulterated fear.

She began hyperventilating, tears clouding her vision of Lena, who followed her as she slid to the floor. “I’m s-sorry Lena! I didn’t mean to- Are you o-okay? I’m sorry.” She hiccupped the words out as clearly as she could. She couldn’t bear to look at the brunette’s face and she buried her own into her quivering palms.

Kara felt the pleasant weight of Lena’s body take its usual seat in her lap. She slowly peeled Kara’s hands away from her face and replaced them with her own. “Shh. It’s okay darling. I’m fine. You’re fine.” Lena’s worried eyes searched hers for a moment. “Let’s try your mantra.”

Lena’s thumbs were doing their best to clear away the tears falling steadily now, but Kara was too distraught to appreciate their work. “The m-mantra doesn’t work Lena! I’ve- I’ve tried.”

Lena look her dead in the eye and spoke with such certainty that you’d be forgiven for thinking she was completely sober. “Kara, look at me. Let’s try.”

Kara felt Lena’s hands migrate down to stroke at her neck and through her hair. She focused on the softness of the gesture and the familiar aroma of Lena’s perfume, so close to her nose.

Lena spoke so softly that Kara had to concentrate on her voice to hear her careful words. “Kara, I want you to think back to when you were on Krypton, before you had these powers. Where you felt totally safe, like nothing could hurt you. No one was in danger. You were home.”

 _Home_. She latched onto the notion, and it echoed through her mind even as her thoughts raced around it. She pictured her parents’ faces, the red glow of Rao’s light, utter warmth. She felt unity, belonging, oneness. _Home. Home. Home. Home. Home. Zehdh. Zehdh. Zehdh. Zehdh. Zehdh._

She didn’t realise she was repeating it aloud, in Kryptonese, until she felt Lena’s fingertips trace her lips as they took the shape of the word. Her girlfriend’s body in her lap was keeping her tethered to the present, even as she drew comfort from the past. She opened her eyes to stare into Lena’s awed ones, still repeating the word like a chant. She felt the mantra working for the first time. _Zehdh. Zehdh. Zehdh._

After several intense minutes, she felt a deep-seated calm take its place in her bones. She then noticed that they were floating.

Kara lowered them slowly back to the floor, holding Lena a touch more tightly than she would normally allow herself. She felt quiet. She was ready to talk.

“Lena…How can you even look at me right now? I- I scared you, I know. I could’ve…”

Lena cut her off with her lips. It was a deep, tender kiss that lasted for such a long, intoxicating time that it made Kara question whether the whole thing was just a dream. 

Lena pulled back and quashed the guilt rising in Kara’s gut. “Kara, I’m not scared of you. I know you would _never_ hurt me. I’m just worried, okay? I’m scared _for_ you. I want you to feel safe, and in control.”

Kara nodded. She felt overly emotional. This was the first time that technique had worked. She felt such intense relief, like the fading ray of hope inside her had been reinvigorated. She placed a kiss to Lena’s throat, tasting the salty evidence of the taxing night, and whispered “I love you” into her ear like a mantra for all occasions. 


	13. xiii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Earth birthday! (Just in time for Kara Zor-El's actual birthday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! This chapter is one of two parts about Kara's Earth birthday. The next half should be up before next week. Please enjoy! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXu6q-6JKjA  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX30jRKcmbw  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=6-T8IMJXTPae1S6Ng-loUA

Lena and Kara were sequestered in Lena’s favourite nook of the El-Corp labs. Lena always took her lunch “breaks” down in the lab, where she either tinkered with red sun technology or met up with Kara to talk science and CatCo and their friends. She found that a morning’s worth of mergers, meetings with patent lawyers, and near-migraines more than earned her a trip down into the cool tranquility of cold, hard science. She’d check in with Alex’s team and share a few pleasantries with the crew before making her way to her chosen area. Rather than a trip down into hell, her descent into the basement always resulted in relaxation. It was a rejuvenation that allowed her to handle the rest of her day—like taking a dip in a sauna. Lena often found herself getting caught up in her hands-on projects and occasionally losing track of time altogether. It wasn’t unheard of for Jess to come scurrying through the space in search of the CEO, pressed to drag her back up to her office where an important investor or partner was waiting in the wings to talk her ear off. How she wished she could design an AI to take her place in the boardroom. Perhaps she should.

Currently, Kara was examining a prototype Lena had created based on a conversation they’d had about Kryptonian technology. When Kara had told her about the ability to transfer thoughts directly from an individual into a visual form for others to see, Lena had set out to design a tool capable of doing just that. The potential for assisting people with chronic pain and disability was massive. Not to mention the creative applications that could be wrought from such a gadget. She couldn’t justify not trying.

Lena had been successful in linking up the device to the user (herself) and synching it to her thought patterns, but so far it would only reproduce colours and vague shapes on the screen. The goal was to achieve a projection with the precision necessary for the written word, but the scope and scale of the vastest imaginations. She had jotted down all of Kara’s recollections from Krypton about the process, but was still lacking some essential element to be able to make her vision a reality. Literally.

“Hmm…” Kara was circling the device, tweaking and shifting its components as she concentrated on projecting her own thoughts onto the fuzzy screen before them. “What if…” She closed her eyes, focusing hard. Lena saw a splash of red appear on screen. The mass began twisting and forming itself into a blazing hot sphere. It lacked detail, but Lena thought it must be Kara’s memory of Rao itself. Kara’s eyes re-opened after a long moment of strenuous imagining. The display cleared itself once she removed the electrodes connecting her to the prototype.

“That was the sharpest image we’ve managed to produce so far. What did you do differently?” Lena approached excitedly, tucking a loose strand of Kara’s hair behind her ear.

“I cleared my mind fully. Molly’s breathing techniques seemed to help. Maybe the problem is that there’s too much going on in your brain and it doesn’t know what to project?”

Lena played with the fingers of her own right hand as she considered this. “That…seems quite likely, actually.” She leant up to kiss Kara on the cheek in thanks for her assistance. “This device won’t be practical for most people if the user has to be a master of meditation for it to work.” She sighed, taking a seat on the edge of their work table. “I’ll have to devise a way to isolate thoughts into discreet images…I _am_ quite impressed that you were able to visualise Rao so clearly, though. You’re really incredible, you know that?”

Kara blushed a pretty shade of pink. Lena knew she was quite shy about her progress in therapy, but this was tangible evidence that she was gradually gaining more control, not only of her powers, but also of her mental faculties. Frankly, it was hot.

Kara tilted her head down and they shared a brief kiss. “We’ll come up with something. It’s amazing you’ve been able to get it to this stage.”

Lena circled Kara’s hips with her arms and hummed thoughtfully. “I just wish I had more time in the day. All of these projects on top of keeping the damn company afloat…Not to mention this book club Kelly’s roped me into. I hardly have any time to myself.” _Hardly enough time with you._

“I thought you had fun at the first meeting?” Kara pulled back and began clearing the workstation of tools and the containers leftover from her lunch. Lena had been too preoccupied to even nibble on the sandwich she’d brought. She’d have to find time to pick at it in between meetings.

“It was interesting, for sure. But this month’s book is so bloody long. What’s truly surprising, though, is just how entertaining reading about scheming monks can be.”

Kara gave her a look. “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

“I’m actually not.”

Kara grabbed her bag, ready to take off. Lena sighed. She’d been trying to gather the courage to discuss one of El-Corp’s other ventures with Kara. She always appreciated her opinion, especially when it came to matters of morality and ethics. She’d heard from the bioethicist she had on staff, but she knew she wouldn’t feel right going forward without talking to Kara first. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes she had in the past.

Of course, Kara sensed the shift in her mood (and pulse) and reached out for her hand, waiting for Lena to say whatever it was she needed to say. The last time Lena had mentioned an ethically dubious experiment to a partner, her relationship had ended abruptly and painfully. But she had confidence that Kara was more open-minded than James, if only because of how much she adored Lena.

“What do you think about gene editing?” Lena bit her lip. It was more direct than she’d meant to start out. She backtracked. “Our medical researchers have been working on developing significant improvements to CRISPR. We might eventually be able to expand and adapt the study to be able to reverse-engineer illnesses and foresee their onset…like a ‘disease map.’ We could predict the evolution of tumours and work to prevent cancer, for example.”

“That sounds really incredible, Lena.” She knew Kara was aware of the ethical implications of being able to alter genes. The clever Kryptonian was waiting for Lena to lay them out and talk through the grey area, rather than jump in and give her feedback. 

“Well. Do you think it’s ethical? Changing someone’s genetic makeup before they’re even born?”

Kara squeezed her hand. She was considering the question. “What do _you_ think?”

Lena laughed. “That’s why I’m asking _you_. I don’t know what I think. It could help people, and save them from a lot of unnecessary suffering. But then, look at how the world reacted to that Chinese scientist who went rogue and used CRISPR to give babies resistance to HIV…It’s a bit like playing god.”

“Sometimes scientists are so preoccupied with whether they _can_ do something, they don’t stop to think if they _should_.”

Lena narrowed her eyes. “I know I’m behind on my film education, but I _have_ seen _Jurassic Park_ , Kara. I’m not a _total_ philistine.”

Kara grinned, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “I know, baby. I guess, just the fact that you’re worrying about this at all means that you’ve already taken more precautions than many scientists would. I know you only want to do good, but just like with anything there will be good and bad. It’s all in who uses the technology and how.”

Lena nodded. She had known, deep down, that Kara wouldn’t try to convince her one way or the other. She wasn’t single-minded like Jack, or impractically righteous like James. She was supportive and fair, no matter what Lex liked to spout about her.

“I’ll have another meeting with our bioethicist and see what she thinks. I think I’m leaning toward continuing though. At least I know _we_ can do it right. If not us, another company will get there eventually. We might as well do it properly, so it can be used for good.”

Kara pressed their foreheads together, her lips twitching into a sly smile. “ _You’re_ so good, baby. I know you’ll do the right thing.” 

Lena leaned into the embrace, uselessly trying to hide her blush. Her mind and body warred between the humiliation at her predilections having been found out and the sheer miracle at being seen. She squeezed Kara closer to her body, enjoying her closeness for what it was. 

She had always craved physical touch, having been starved of it growing up. Sometimes, when she was in the liminal space between wakefulness and slumber, she could still feel the ghost of a hug her biological mother had once given her. Having someone in her life who was as demonstrative as Kara meant that she was constantly being reminded of her body. She wasn’t just a brain walking around on two legs. She was a warm-blooded human who could reach out and affect others. And she was certainly susceptible and receptive to any incoming affection from the blonde.

Spanning the small gap between them, Lena met Kara’s mouth with her own. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of the sweet taste of Kara’s lips as they moved to accommodate hers. They kissed slowly, reacquainting themselves with each other’s movements. She took a breath before changing the angle and diving back in, playing with the end of Kara’s ponytail. She was fully seated on the workstation now, legs locked around Kara’s waist as the taller woman pressed intimately into her.

It wasn’t the first time they had made out in the secluded corner of the lab, but it was the first time Jess caught them in the act.

“Oh! Miss Luthor! I’m so sorry.” Her assistant was floundering, unsure of how to process the scene and clearly flummoxed at having crossed a social boundary with her boss.

Kara stepped back and adjusted her glasses. She turned away, pretending to look at a basic utensil that merited no examination.

Lena was flustered but powered through. _A situation is only as awkward as you allow it to be_. “Jess, it’s fine. You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m assuming you’re here because I’m already late for a meeting.”

Jess nodded rapidly, clutching her planner tightly to her chest. “Mr. Sutherland & Sons is pacing outside your office as we speak.”

Lena checked her watch. He was 20 minutes early. _Fuck him_. “He’s early. Please tell him I’ll be there in time for our scheduled appointment.”

Jess looked anxious, like telling the presumably already irate man that he’d have to wait his turn for Lena’s attention was the last thing she wanted to do. “I will, Miss Luthor. He- Okay, no problem.”

Lena exchanged a look with Kara, who offered to accompany them, no doubt sensing Jess’ apprehension. “Why don’t I walk you up? No one’s waiting on me at CatCo—I submitted my article for review this morning.” 

“Thank you, darling.” She placed a brief kiss to her jaw and the trio made their way to the top floor of the 50-floor skyscraper. Though Kara wouldn’t be dressed as Supergirl, she could still provide an imposing presence without her powers, when she needed to. Lena had seen it firsthand with how she had handled Morgan Edge and several other pompous business associates at L-Corp.

Jess said nothing during the long elevator ride. Lena admired her professionalism. Surely, she must have questions after seeing her boss locking lips with CatCo’s star reporter. Jess was perceptive though, and may have figured out at some point that Lena’s penchant for lunchtime dates with her “best friend” three times a week was more than just friendly. She wondered how many times she could dole out a raise in a year without drawing suspicion. Jess more than deserved it for her loyalty and discretion.

Stepping out on the 50th floor, Mr. Sutherland & Sons was nowhere to be seen. Jess called down to security, who informed her that he had departed shortly after she had gone to find Lena. The audacity of businessmen would never cease to amaze her.

Kara shrugged. “At least you won’t have to deal with him. He sounded mean.”

“Yes, this will give me some time to prepare for my two o’clock—if that’s still on, Jess?”

Jess nodded and busied herself. Possibly calling to chew out the man who had deigned to bail on an in-person sit-down with Lena Luthor. 

Kara’s phone rang just as Lena invited her into her office for some privacy. She gestured for Kara to take a seat on the couch after she mouthed “Alex” and took the call. Lena poured herself a glass of water and checked her schedule for the rest of the day, trying not to listen in on the conversation.

She had two meetings to go before she could make her escape from the office and finish her workday from behind her laptop at home. It was a compromise she and Kara had devised. Rather than staying at El-Corp until 10 p.m. (or later), she would finish her day at 7 p.m. and respond to emergencies and important emails from the comfort of either Kara’s couch or her own. It didn’t always work out that way (sometimes Supergirl had to come and carry her out of the building at midnight), but she was trying. She sighed heavily, noticing that one of her meetings this afternoon was with a rather annoying man who had been persistently pitching his company in an effort to partner up with the tech giant that was El-Corp. The other was with Lillian. The reason for this was unclear, but Lena could only assume her mother wanted some face time to point out all the flaws in her managerial style. Sometimes the phone wasn’t a sufficient medium for conveying her displeasure.

Kara hung up with Alex after a few minutes. Lena’s heart throbbed when she looked up and saw the crestfallen look on the blonde’s face. She immediately got up and joined her on the couch.

“Darling, what happened? Is Alex alright?” She’d just seen the redhead an hour ago in the lab. She had seemed totally fine and filled Lena in on what she had planned for the sisters’ celebration of Kara’s Earth birthday tonight. Kara had explained the small tradition to her last week and Lena thought it was utterly charming, despite feeling a tad left out, as she still often did when it came to “Supergirl things.” She knew, however, that it would be gauche to try to include herself in the familial custom. Ultimately, she was incredibly thankful that Kara had such a caring sister growing up, and now.

“She’s fine. She just had to cancel on tonight.” Kara was trying hard not to look hurt, but Lena spied the crinkle in her forehead that suggested she was quite disappointed. “There’s a couple that wants to interview her and Kelly about adopting their baby when it arrives…She’s been waiting years for this to happen. I told her it was okay. She’s missed Earth birthday before…”

The excuse was reasonable, and Alex was probably torn at having to abandon her alien sister on such an important day. Lena wracked her brain for a backup plan. There was no way she was going to leave Kara alone tonight. In fact, she could do one better. She made a split-second decision. With most of her technology there existed a grey area, a choice on whether to move forward or to halt and recoup her losses. There was no going back in her relationship with Kara. There was no ambiguity here. She was more important than meetings with whatshisname and Lillian.

“I know the two of you have this long-standing tradition, and I don’t want to intrude, but…what if we spent the rest of the day together instead? To commemorate your arrival?” _And the loss of your planet…_ She grabbed Kara’s hand, hoping that she wasn’t unwittingly encroaching on a “sisters” thing.

Kara looked surprised at the suggestion at first and then unquestionably pleased. “Really? You’d leave work at two? Just for me?” She was smiling now and Lena knew she had made the right call.

Lena kissed her cheek gently. “I’d do much more than that.”

Kara let her eyes roam to Lena’s mouth before replying. “What- What did you have in mind?” She adjusted her glasses. Lena was pleased with the effect. She hadn’t even been trying to flirt.

“Well...What if we visited Midvale? It’s where you grew up, once you got to Earth. And I’m sure there are some charming small-town activities you’ve been dying to force me to partake in…”

She needn’t have continued speaking. Once she had said “Midvale” Kara had gasped excitedly, eyes wide. “There are _so_ many things we could do. And we can stop by and see Eliza too!”

Oh. Lena felt an uprising of nerves at the prospect of meeting Kara’s adoptive mother as her girlfriend. She swallowed them. She’d faced worse.

“That sounds lovely. Let me just have Jess cancel the rest of my day and we can head out.” She rose to grab her bag. Turning to the door, she noticed Kara eyeing her skirt and heels. “Problem?”

“We should probably change before we go. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb in that designer outfit. And we need to be comfy!”

Lena rolled her eyes in jest, but conceded that Kara was probably right. “Okay, so we’ll do a quick stopover and _then_ head out.”

Kara flashed her a smile and pulled her in for a quick hug, whispering into her temple where her lips found purchase. “Thank you, Lena.”

She felt emotional, all of sudden, at the knowledge that such a small action on her part could have such an effect on Kara. She knew Kara was aware of how hard she worked and how much she put into her company. It made her blowing off even a few hours at El-Corp a significant gesture, even if Lena knew that she’d do it again and again in a heartbeat to save Kara even a second of heartache.

They walked out hand in hand, Lena explaining to Jess that she’d be leaving for the rest of the day. Her assistant took it in stride, quickly queuing up the numbers she’d have to reach. Digging around in her bag, Lena realised she’d forgotten her phone and dashed back in to grab it, asking Kara to wait by the elevators.

Passing Jess’ desk once more, Lena paused to speak to her untiring employee. “You know, if I’m not here there’s no reason for you to be. Why don’t you take the day as well, Jess? Paid, of course.”

Jess nodded in acknowledgement, speaking hesitatingly just as Lena was about to step away. “Miss Luthor? I hope I’m not overstepping, but…I’m glad you two finally got together.”

Lena felt herself flush, knowing now that even her assistant had been aware of her feelings for the blonde reporter. “Thanks, Jess.” Curiosity got the better of her and she questioned further. “So…was I that obvious?”

Jess smirked, shuffling some files in what Lena suspected was a distracted move for her benefit. “You _did_ buy a company for her.”

Lena feigned haughtiness in response. “ _That_ was a good investment opportunity.”

“ _Clearly_.” Jess’ eyes widened as the reply slipped out before she could catch it.

Lena waited, watching Jess squirm under her gaze, before letting out a lighthearted laugh. “Have a good weekend, Jess.” She visibly deflated in relief.

“You too, Lena.”

Lena was glad. She’d been nagging her assistant to call her by her first name for a while now (as in, several years). Apparently, all it took to humanise the Luthor was an awkward admission about the secret crush she’d been harbouring for just as long.

She met up with Kara by the elevators and the blonde was wearing an intolerably smug grin. Lena knew she had been listening to the entire conversation. Once inside, Kara wrapped her arms around the CEO from behind and breathed deeply into the crease of her neck.

“You had a crush on me!” Kara’s voice came out singsonglike and teasing.

Lena was embarrassed and slightly annoyed. “Yes. It took you long enough to notice.” Hell, even Jess had known before Kara.

Kara must’ve felt bad about it because she placed a wet kiss just under her ear. “I notice everything about you now.” At Lena’s answering shiver, Kara continued to lick at her neck and at the piercings adorning the shell of her ear. Yes, it seemed she did notice things now.

~ ~ ~

They touched down in Midvale in the alley behind Kara’s favourite diner. She set Lena on the ground and quickly changed back into her shorts, tank top and open denim button down. The brunette was wearing black jeans and a loose maroon flannel, and had abandoned any notion of a heel at Kara’s insistence. If she had her way, they’d be doing a fair bit of walking and she didn’t want Lena’s feet to get sore. The summer heat was still in full force, but they’d dressed more for the potential chill of the evening.

Dragging Lena through the diner door, Kara heard the familiar tinkle of the bell, announcing her presence to the staff of The Rusty Spoon.

“C’mon, the best seats are over here.” She directed Lena to a cozy looking booth in the back.

“Shouldn’t we wait to be seated?” Lena pointed to a sign by the entryway, even as she allowed herself to be pulled along.

“They won’t mind. I know everyone who works here.”

They’d barely sat down before Kara saw Kristy, a long-time server, approaching their table.

“Well look who it is. It’s been a while since we’ve seen _you_ around, blondie.” She was leaning with an arm on the booth by Kara, a crooked smile plastered on her face.

“Hi Kristy! It’s my Ear- my birthday and Lena, my girlfriend, thought it would be fun to check out some of my favourite spots growing up. Including the best restaurant in the state, of course!” 

Kristy poured them each a glass of water as Kara spoke, eyes flitting up to take in the brunette as she was named. Lena watched the interaction with soft eyes and flushed at the mention of her role in the proceedings.

“The state? You mean the country, don’t cha?” Kristy tapped her pen against her notepad brusquely before stashing it in the black pouch wrapped around her waist. “The usual for you then, blondie? It’s a bit late for lunch, but that doesn’t stop _you_ now, does it?”

Kara grinned and shook her head no. “You know me—bottomless pit.”

“And what about you, gorgeous? Need a minute with the menu?”

Lena nodded politely, picking up the laminated sheet in front of her. Kara hoped, belatedly, that it wasn’t sticky on her fingers. “Thank you, yes. I’ll just need a moment.”

“I’ll put your order in blondie and then I’ll be back for yours, gorgeous. It’ll give ‘em a headstart to rustle up your food anyway. Oh, and happy birthday Kara.” Kristy left them with a wink, disappearing behind the double doors leading to the kitchen.

“She seems nice.” Lena sipped gracefully at her glass, eyes skimming the menu. “What do you recommend, then? I’ve yet to be steered wrong by a Kara Danvers-approved restaurant and I don’t want to start now.”

Kara rubbed her hands together. “You _have_ to get one of their burgers. They’re sooo juicy. Even better than Big Belly Burger.” At Lena’s playfully astounded look she laughed. “I know, I know. Just trust me.”

“I do.” Lena smiled and Kristy was back to take her menu.

“So, what’ll it be? Can you eat as much as this one?” She jabbed the butt end of her pen in Kara’s direction, and then poised it over her pad for Lena’s order.

“Hmm not quite. I’ll try the Holy Duck, please. And, since I’m assuming Kara’s usual order includes one, a vanilla milkshake.” Kara won the internal wager she’d placed, knowing Lena would order the “classiest” burger on the menu: A beef patty topped with foie gras, double smoked bacon, white truffle oil and fresh Italian white truffles. 

“This one’s got good taste, blondie. I hope she’s seen you eat before, though. Things could get ugly if not.” Kristy sped off to put in the ticket for Lena’s order, stopping off to refill the coffee of one of the bar patrons. 

Kara grinned at the teasing. Luckily Lena never seemed put off by her excessive eating. If anything, she always left their lunch dates looking impressed at her Kryptonian metabolism.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get the piña colada milkshake, Lena! It’s really tasty, and I don’t even like human alcohol.”

Lena toyed with her fingers the way she did when she was nervous. “I, ehm, I’m trying to cut back a bit. On the booze. Just…just to- I’ve been hitting the bottle a bit hard lately, I think. Or, well. Not lately. Basically always. Since always.” She looked up, slightly pink from her explanation. 

Kara reached across and grabbed her hand so she’d stop trying to yank off her own fingers. “Okay.” She smiled. It didn’t have to be as complicated as Lena clearly thought it was. “Let me know if you want me to do anything to help.”

Lena stared at her for a moment before redirecting her gaze to their joined hands. She laced their fingers together and took a fortifying sip of water. One of the things Kara admired most about her girlfriend was her intellect, her ability to analyse a problem or a situation and come out with a miraculous solution. But sometimes her own self-scrutiny sure made things harder than they needed to be. She’d obviously been nervous to confide in Kara about this self-perceived weakness, but Kara knew if they’d been having this meal a year ago, there would have been no confiding at all. Maybe Lena wouldn’t even be trying to make a change for herself. She felt bolstered at the idea that Lena was drawing strength from her, just as she felt immeasurably better around the brunette. 

Kristy re-emerged soon after with Lena’s solitary plate and milkshake. A moment later she had a troupe of servers deliver Kara’s meal. Four burgers of varying sizes and grease levels, an entire plate piled high with curly fries, and two milkshakes: One chocolate and one vanilla.

“Enjoy, lovebirds. Here’s some extra napkins. You let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks Kristy!” Kara was beaming. Lena’s eyes were as wide as the plate housing her burger and fries.

Taking a sip of the decadent milkshake before her, Lena smiled demurely. “Save some room for dessert later, darling.” Kara paused with a fry halfway to her mouth. It was suddenly dry, reacting to her girlfriend’s tone of voice. Lena wiped her lips delicately and tossed a fry into her own mouth. “You promised me cotton candy at the fair.”

Kara gulped. Sometimes Lena really did play into her Luthor nature: She was actively trying to kill her. “Of course, baby. I always have room.” She began munching through her first burger. “Oh, and feel free to have some of my curly fries.”

Lena looked positively stunned. “Wow.” She reached out slowly and grabbed a curly fry, watching Kara like a rabbit defensively monitoring a hungry fox. She chewed at the fry. “You must _really_ love me.”

Kara gave her a quizzical look. Duh. That’s what she’d been telling her for months now.

“Kara, you don’t normally share your food. Alex told me you nearly cried once when she ate the last potsticker.”

Kara dipped a fry into the small pot of ketchup by her plate and swirled it thoughtfully. She looked up and flashed a smile at Lena, who was smirking at her own observation. “I guess I just love you a lot.”

Lena gave a small, pleased smile and took the first bite of her burger. She let out a low moan at the taste, closing her eyes. Kara tingled slightly as the sound stirred something in her loins. She’d only ever heard that frequency from between Lena’s legs. 

Kara must have been wearing her reaction on her face because Lena’s grin only grew wider when she looked up. “Eat your food, darling. Before it gets cold.”

She hastily pulled one of her milkshakes toward her and took long a gulp, draining half of the tall glass. Since when had eating become such a sexual activity?

~ ~ ~

They called ahead to Eliza after settling up at the diner. Lena had whipped out a black card before Kara had even sensed Kristy approaching with the bill. Eliza told them she was feeling under the weather, but gladly accepted the offer of a brief visit for Earth birthday.

They ordered a serving of matzah ball soup to bring Kara’s ailing adoptive mom and packed it up with the chocolate pecan pie Kristy had brought out as a treat for Kara’s birthday.

Kara was excited to see Eliza, and even more so to re-introduce Lena as her girlfriend. She was upset that Eliza was ill, and that she hadn’t even known. But she supposed she didn’t call quite often enough to be up to date on every aspect of her life. They spoke on a weekly basis, but Kara always made sure to keep Eliza abreast of any important life decisions or changes. It would be a relief to finally tell her about her new relationship.

The walk to the Danvers’ house took them about 20 minutes. The town wasn’t large enough to support Uber or Lyft, and Kara still felt weird about flying around her hometown, where she had been conditioned to hide her powers at all costs.

Kara strode up onto the front porch and knocked firmly on the door, Lena at her side looking slightly nervous. She peeked inside the takeout bag and blew a cooling waft of air over the pie to keep it from melting before taking the lid off the soup and zapping it quickly with her heat vision. She looked up to give Lena a reassuring smile and saw that the brunette was watching her use her powers with unbridled fascination. Kara liked that she could awe someone as learned and worldly as Lena Luthor. This woman had literally developed a suit to protect her from Kryptonite and was hell-bent on saving humanity from itself, yet she still thought Kara’s freeze breath was cool. (Especially when it was being used in non-traditional ways, Kara remembered.)

Eliza opened the door, looking tired and slightly dishevelled, but otherwise fine.

“Kara! Happy Earth birthday sweetie.” She ushered them inside after giving Kara a quick squeeze. “Lena, it’s lovely to see you again.” Kara was slightly surprised when Eliza pulled the brunette into a hug as well. Usually she was quite cautious about spreading germs when she was ill. She must have been at the tail end of her cold; Kara couldn’t detect any congestion in her voice.

“I’ve been keeping track of El-Corp since you took over and I must say I am extremely impressed. You should be proud.”

Lena smiled and looked down humbly. “Thank you, Dr. Danvers. That means a lot coming from you.”

“Oh, call me Eliza sweetie. Please.”

They sat down at the kitchen table and Eliza unpacked her soup, breathing in its delicious aroma before carefully blowing at a spoonful to cool the steaming broth. Kara grabbed some plates and forks from the cupboard and cut a slice of pie for Lena before starting in on the remainder.

Kara watched for a moment as Eliza enjoyed her soup, but she couldn’t contain their news any longer. Squeezing Lena’s free hand under the table, she captured her adoptive mother’s attention.

“I, uh, _we_ wanted to tell you, Eliza, that we’re actually together now.” She lifted their intertwined hands to the tabletop and waited for Eliza’s reaction.

Eliza swallowed her mouthful and immediately cast her warmest smile at the pair. “Well, that’s _just_ the news I needed to hear.” At Kara’s questioning look, she explained. “Oh, it’s just that, whenever we talk on the phone, Kara, most of our conversations end up being about Lena.”

She blushed at that revelation. She hadn’t even realised. With each new person who learned about their relationship, it became more and more apparent that Kara had been pretty oblivious for a while. _Why didn’t anyone say anything if it was so obvious?_

Lena, for her part, seemed quite gratified by Eliza’s statement. She looked at Kara with raised eyebrows, as if to say “See? I told you so.” She stayed silent, though, enjoying the Earth birthday pie.

“Thanks, you two, for stopping by to see me. And for bringing me my favourite matzah ball soup. I think I’m going to lie down for a nap.” She began clearing her bowl, but Lena jumped up.

“Let me get that for you Dr. Danv- Eliza.” She gave Kara a pointed look before grabbing the Styrofoam container and going on a hunt for the recycling bin.

Kara walked Eliza to her bedroom door and gave her a warm hug. “I’m really glad we got to see you on Earth birthday. I’m sorry you’re sick. It seems like it was a pretty bad cold.”

Eliza just smiled her usual smile, fine lines adding to the twinkle behind her eyes, and brushed a strand of hair from Kara’s face. “It’s nothing I can’t handle. You’re not the only strong one in the family, you know.”

They heard a noise in the kitchen followed by muttered cursing. It sounded like Lena was trying to quickly do the washing up to save Eliza the hassle. Eliza seemed amused by the racket.

“She makes you happy.”

Kara nodded. It was one of the few things on this planet that had been a constant for her. There was Eliza’s warmth, Alex’s support, and now Lena, and the way her just _being_ brought Kara a sense of effortless calm and happiness. She was a bit choked up at how easily Eliza had read the situation. She was just _better_ with Lena.

“I love her.”

Eliza’s smile had yet to waver, but it grew from soft and slight to wide and white in an instant. “I know you do, sweetie. Now go save her from the mountain of dishes in the kitchen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The news about the show coming to an end is bittersweet but I'll be excited to see where our favourite ladies end up next.  
> El mayarah!  
> Come find me on tumblr @ vaguenessarda


	14. xiv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earth birthday part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_jRDVStzOY  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMK_npDG12Q  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=PFIEkVdVSjqAZWdYNS-FWQ

The fair was packed with people of all ages enjoying the creaky rides, unwinnable games, and artery-clogging food. Kara dragged Lena by the hand through the entrance, moving at a quick (but human) pace. She’d contemplated taking Lena bowling, or to the roller rink, but those activities just weren’t as fun with only two people. The fair was the perfect excuse to cuddle up with her girlfriend and maybe even win a few crappy prizes for her while they simply enjoyed being around each other outside of work, or saving the world.

They stopped in the middle of the grounds, Kara spinning around, trying to decide on where to start. Lena looked a bit overwhelmed.

“Which ride do you want to go on first?”

Lena bit her lip, eyeing the Zipper with apprehension. “Seeing as I’ve never been to a travelling carnival before…”

“What!? We’ve got to do everything then!” Kara was about to tug Lena toward the Tilt-A-Whirl, but paused when she glimpsed the queasy look on her face at the prospect of the nausea-inducing ride.

“What if we started off with something easy? Bumper cars?” She pointed over to the closed-off area where kids and adults alike were purposefully ramming into each other with fixed hunks of metal.

“Deal.”

It wasn’t long before Kara was whirring around in her car, smashing into random carnival-goers with glee. She spied Lena getting frustrated with the limited controls of the vehicle and taking it out on any and every person in her vicinity. She barrelled into her neighbours unrestrainedly with a hard glint in her eye and tossed her head back in laughter when she t-boned Kara’s car. Kara would have found it worrisome if not for the tender look Lena adopted when the blonde pouted at being trapped in the corner of the pen.

When the ride was over, Kara hurried over to help Lena up from the awkwardly low vehicle. She was rewarded with a lovely kiss. Kara knew the CEO put up a hard front, but one of her absolute favourite things _ever_ was getting to peek behind it at the gooey mush underneath.

Next, Kara convinced Lena to try the wooden roller coaster under the promise that it wasn’t as full-on as a regular roller coaster, just a tad more uncomfortable. It was the only permanent fixture on the grounds. Lena seemed drawn more by the engineering of the thing than anything, but she acquiesced, and soon they were cramped together in a wooden death trap, rocketing at a speed that should have been impossible given the hefty material of the coaster.

They disembarked with Lena subtly rubbing at her stiff neck. Kara promised her a full-body massage later, and that earned her challenging look and a hard pinch that had zero effect. She laughed loudly and scooped Lena up, tossing her over one shoulder. “Just for that we’re doing the fun house.”

The journey over wasn’t far, but Lena’s face was red by the time they arrived. Kara couldn’t be sure if it was from embarrassment, from the blood rushing down toward her head with gravity, or from something else entirely. She placed her back on her feet gently and smoothed her thumbs over warm cheeks. Lena’s lips parted at the action, eyes blinking rapidly. Kara eyed the muscle of her throat as she swallowed. Oh. It seemed her display of strength had an unanticipated, but desirable effect on her unflappable girlfriend. 

Lena led the way this time, possibly in an attempt to stave off any smartass remarks. They made their way through the rooms of the fun house quickly. Kara was amused by the warped walls and undulating floors, but Lena seemed wary, examining each feature with a critical eye and recommending improvements to make the house more inventive. The hall of mirrors proved just as hilarious as Kara remembered. She darted in front of the different panels, watching her body contort and blow-up in unflattering ways. Once she had safely reached the other end, Lena walked calmly across the floor toward her without glancing at her reflection once.

Back outside, Lena pointed to the Spinning Strawberries. Kara wasn’t sure.

“That one makes a lot of people sick.”

“Kara, it’s filled with mostly children. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

It was not fine. The ride started out smoothly enough, but as the spinning picked up, Kara watched as Lena’s already pale complexion whitened another few shades. She gripped the wheel in the middle of the ride tightly, mumbling a string of curse words. It wasn’t quite a mantra in the way Kara’s was, but it worked long enough for them to escape the berry with no rejection of their lunch.

Lena was slightly shaky, so Kara guided her over to a picnic table, one arm slung tightly around her waist. She left her for just as long as it took to procure some water and a snow cone.

Lena took a large swig from the bottle and allowed Kara to spoon her some crystals from the cone. She recovered the ability to speak after several long minutes of steady back rubbing and light kisses to her hair.

“That fucking sucked. You were right.”

Kara grimaced. She’d never felt nausea as Lena was experiencing on Earth, but she knew it was not pleasant. “Maybe we should take a break from the rides. We can try some of the games?” She felt bad. She wanted Lena to have fun, but instead she’d made her sick.

Lena finished the last of her water and scooped out more of the snow cone. Her lips were slightly discoloured from the dye.

“What flavour is this? It’s delicious.”

“Oh, I dunno, it’s blue.” Kara shrugged, more concerned about Lena’s well-being than the snow cone she was currently eating.

“Blue isn’t a flavour, Kara.” Her lips quirked and she leaned forward to press them against Kara’s. Kara was straddling the bench so Lena easily made the necessary adjustments to settle herself in her lap with a sigh, arms wrapped loosely around her neck. “Sorry I’m such a baby. I really only like flying through the air when it’s you carrying me. And even then, it’s a bit nerve-wracking.” 

Kara pulled her closer and kissed the blue off her lips. The cold of the snow had reddened them further, and Kara was finding it difficult to resist having a taste of her own.

She hadn’t noticed her hands sliding downward until Lena let out a squeak, pulling back to glare at her in good-humoured admonishment. “Normally I wouldn’t mind you grabbing my ass, darling, but there are children running about.” She smirked, dislodging herself from what had become a favourite position. “Let’s see how rigged these games truly are.”

Lena chose selectively, only stopping in front of a handful of booths. Kara watched in awe as Lena easily landed her projectiles in the ring toss, winning a stuffed dog in the process. Kara had known the game to be rigged, the blocks slightly too large to accommodate the rings without force. Lena had managed to toss them at just the right angle so they would catch on the targets.

Kara clutched the fluffy dog tightly as Lena explained her strategy. “It’s just physics, Kara. I threw the ring at a low velocity, keeping the angle between 36° and 45°. The wind resistance is negligible right now too, so that helped.” It seemed simple enough to Kara, but that didn’t stop her from being thoroughly impressed by everything Lena said and did. Or from teasing her about it.

“You really are the biggest nerd I’ve ever met. And I know _Brainy_.”

“Whatever, Science Guild.” Lena raised an eyebrow and hip checked her as they walked.

Laughing, Kara pretended to react to the shove, for appearance’s sake. “Han Solo groupie.”

“Musical theatre geek.”

“Grandmaster.”

“Gryffindork.”

At that, Kara gasped. “Who taught you the Hogwarts houses?”

Lena grinned. “Nia. And don’t worry, I know you’re actually a Hufflepuff.” She leaned over and kissed her cheek before dragging Kara to the next booth.

They made their way over to a shooting game and Lena sauntered up to the nearest rifle.

“Pick out which prize you’d like, darling.” She crouched into position, ready for the metal targets to dance across her field of vision. Kara observed as Lena quickly dispatched with the marks. Even the game operator’s mouth was agape. Mutely, he handed Kara a large stuffed tiger and they meandered on to the next booth.

It wasn’t long before Kara had an armful of goodies. Lena seemed to find a way to outsmart and/or out-skill each trial. Kara was appreciative of the many birthday gifts she’d accumulated, but at this point she’d be glad to chuck them aside somewhere to be able to pull her genius girlfriend into a secluded corner for a kiss.

Lena glanced sideways and chuckled as Kara barely managed to contain the assorted animals in her arms. They were drawing attention too. Disappointed children were leaving the games empty-handed and pouting as their fathers failed to win them a dumb prize. It’d been nice, not having the eyes of the public on them here in Midvale. Kara knew Lena walked around National City like she had a target on her back (because she did), and Supergirl was the biggest attention-grab in the country, easily. It was a relief, seeing Lena be so carefree.

“Um, Lena, would you be really offended if I gave some of these away?” She dropped a Pikachu by accident as she spoke. The brunette reached down to grab it, and caught the attention of a teary little boy nearby.

“Hey, don’t cry honey. Would you like a toy?” The boy’s mother mouthed a relieved “thank you” and the child’s tears dissipated immediately.

It didn’t take them long to divest of their other stuffed treasures. Kara held onto the medium-sized fuzzy white dog, though. The memory of Lena’s confident grin as she had handed her the prize was a good one. “I’m gonna call him Krypto!”

Lena just smiled sweetly, patting the dog on the head as if it was real. “He’s adorable.” Lena’s eyes never strayed from her face as she spoke fondly.

Now that she wasn’t laden with goods, Kara wanted to fulfill her promise and fetch Lena some cotton candy. (She _may_ have also wanted some). She trotted off to the nearest vendor, leaving her girlfriend near the Ring the Bell game. Kara wondered if Lena would want to attempt the feat of strength. She wouldn’t put it past her to devise a way to manufacture enough force to ring the bell.

There was a bit of a lineup, but she succeeded in getting a heaping cone of the fluffy, sugary treat. Walking back toward Lena, she saw a scruffy guy standing close to her, unsubtly flexing his arms as he spoke. Lena had her own arms crossed and looked supremely uninterested in whatever was being said. Kara watched as the guy paid the attendant and swung the heavy mallet down onto the pivot board. The indicator rose up and hit the bell, causing it to ring. It showed a score of 99—a near-perfect strike.

The man returned to Lena, who pretended to be examining her nails, eyebrows rising in faux surprise as he spoke to her once more. Kara reached the two just in time to hear the tail end of his speech.

“-so if you want to get out of here, my place is really close by.”

“As I said before, I’m truly not interested.” Lena turned as she approached. “Kara!” She ripped off a piece of fluff and devoured it, licking her fingers to rid them of any sticky residue. “Sweet.” One of Lena’s hands made its way to her belt loop, tugging her forward. “Darling, why don’t I hold the cotton candy while you ring the bell?”

Kara furrowed her brow. She had been interested in seeing Lena try the game. It would be no trouble for _her_ to ring the bell; her main challenge would be keeping her score within a human range. Lena’s hand moved to settle against her stomach as she continued to ignore the man who was inexplicably still lingering around.

Kara passed Krypto and the cone to Lena who smirked in anticipation. “Thanks baby. Pick out which prize you want.” She winked at Lena, using her earlier words to torment the man, who scoffed at Kara’s cockiness. Lena’s smile widened and she stifled a laugh.

Kara grasped the mallet and felt its weight, deciding on how much force to use. The man had scored a 99. Kara figured it should be feasible for a human woman of her size and musculature to beat that. Lifting the mallet, she dropped the head down onto the board, regulating her strength so that she wouldn’t destroy the machine. The indicator lit up and the bell rang out as a score of 100 appeared. Just what she’d been aiming for.

She couldn’t contain her grin as Lena laughed delightedly. Even the attendant was chuckling at the disgruntled look on the random guy’s face. A few onlookers had whistled at Kara’s show of strength. The attendant handed Lena a ridiculously massive stuffed bear. Apparently, it was the corresponding prize for a perfect score. Hardly anyone ever achieved it.

Kara took the cone and the stuffed dog from Lena so she could accept the bear, and planted an exaggeratedly wet kiss on her sugar-coated lips. Lena was beaming. Kara could hear her heart racing.

Lena whispered to her as they moved on, immediately forgetting about the man who had tried to pick her up. “Kara, that was amazing. That you were able to control your strength to such a degree…I mean, you beat him by exactly one point.” She was slightly breathless, and Kara slowed, thinking at first that they were walking too quickly, before she realised it was because Lena was excited. She was impressed by her control.

Kara led them over to the carousel, where they could hopefully eat the cotton candy in peace. They chose two horses next to each other and climbed on. The stuffed bear was placed on his own horse nearby. Lena sat side-saddle so she could reach out and take chunks of the candy that Kara held out to her. The confection slowly dwindled as they chatted.

“I’ve been practicing. Controlling my strength, I mean.” Lena was licking the sugar off her fingertips, leaning against the pole tethering her horse to the ride. “I accidentally punched an alien through a building last week, but I haven’t had any major mishaps since then.” She was talking quietly. There didn’t seem to be any prying ears close by, but she wasn’t about to risk her identity on it.

Lena jumped down softly from her horse and came to stand close to Kara’s, wrapping her arms around her hips. “I know you’ve been practicing. I’m really proud of you, Kara.” They shared a soft kiss from an awkward angle, but it was perfect all the same.

It was getting late now, but Kara knew a day at the fair wouldn’t be complete without one tour on the Ferris wheel. They boarded the 12-metre-high ride with no fanfare. It was a cozy fit in their car, with Lena squeezed in between Kara and Krypto and the giant teddy, but no one was complaining about that.

The wheel made its slow rotation and Kara pointed out Eliza’s house, which was visible from the peak. Lena gripped Kara’s hand tightly. She seemed reluctant to look where Kara was pointing.

“Baby, are you afraid of heights?” Kara pulled her closer with the arm that was wrapped around her shoulders, trying to catch her eye.

Lena tucked herself further into Kara’s body. “Mmm just a bit. It’s fine.”

“Why didn’t you say something? We didn’t have to come up here. Same with the roller coaster.” They were nearing the ground now, but there was still another round to go before they would be let off. Kara considered asking the operator to stop the ride for an exception.

“Kara, I’m fine. I just wanted you to enjoy all the rides like you normally would. I’m trying not to ruin everything more than I already have.”

Kara frowned. “Ruin-? What? But I want _you_ to have fun too!”

Lena peeked up and looked into her eyes. “Darling I _am_ having fun. It’s fun because I love…I love watching you have fun.” Kara heart skipped a beat. She thought Lena was going to say something else.

The car lurched slightly as it made its way to its crest once more. Lena stuck her face back into the safety of Kara’s shoulder.

“Just say the word and I’ll fly us out of here.”

Lena let out a wobbly laugh. “And what? Risk your identity?” That gave Kara an idea on how to distract her distressed girlfriend.

“We were married in an alternate universe, you know.” At that, Lena pulled back and looked at Kara uncomprehendingly.

“What?”

“Remember how I told you about Mxyzptlk? And how he showed me all the outcomes of sharing my identity with you at different times?”

“Mhm.” Lena was worrying her bottom lip, hands shaking.

“Well, in one of them I told you I was Supergirl almost right away. And we did incredible work together.” Lena nodded along but she had shut her eyes, trying to avoid looking at the approaching ground. “But then you were kidnapped. And I had to either share my identity with the world or find you before you died.”

Lena had stopped trembling, but kept her eyes closed.

“So I revealed my identity and rescued you just in time.”

Lena’s lips quirked up at that. “Of course you did.”

Kara decided to omit the part of that universe where her friends and family were subsequently hunted down one by one and murdered. That would be counterproductive right now.

“But before that happened, you were called in to testify about my identity. And you pled the fifth.”

Lena opened her eyes just as they were meant to get off the ride. They gathered their stuffed animals and disembarked quickly.

Hugging the stuffed bear to her chest, Lena looked up at Kara. She seemed more aware now that they were on solid ground. “The spousal privilege evidentiary rule in California stipulates that you have the right not to testify against your husband or wife in a criminal jury trial when he or she is charged with a crime.”

Kara nodded. She hadn’t known the law at the time, but she’d looked into it shortly after Mxy had left. She wrapped Lena and the bear up into a hug, making sure not to squeeze too tightly. By the time she pulled back, Lena seemed fully grounded again.

“Shall we head home then?” Lena seemed tired as she spoke. It had been a full day.

“Yeah, let’s just walk somewhere quiet and I can fly us to my apartment.”

“Oh, ehm.” Lena was biting her lip. “I thought we could spend the night at mine, actually.”

Huh. Lena generally felt more comfortable at Kara’s. Kara knew there must be some ulterior motive for the sudden change of heart. “Oh. Any particular reason?” She tried to stay casual as she steered them toward the exit.

Lena was blushing now.

“I thought we could try…you know. The, ehm, the toy we picked out. It’s- it’s at my apartment.”

It was Kara’s turn to blush. She hadn’t been expecting _that_. She turned to Lena and tried not to laugh at the picture of her clutching an oversized stuffed animal, but requesting that Kara take her home and fuck her with a strap-on.

She regulated her facial expression before responding. “I’d love to.” She laughed at how that sounded. “I mean, I want to try everything with you.” She hoped her sincerity would save the moment from being too embarrassing.

The brunette just smiled. Kara brought them to a deserted spot and changed into her suit before Lena spoke again.

“Why did you tell me that story, on the Ferris wheel?” She clutched the stuffed toys tightly.

“Mostly to distract you…” Kara tucked some of Lena’s hair behind her ear. “But also, so you’d know that I would do anything to protect you. Even sacrifice my identity.”

Lena seemed satisfied with that answer. She allowed herself to be picked up by Kara, holding the animals as securely as she was being held. But Kara had an addendum before taking off. “Oh, and it proves that I love you in every timeline.”

~ ~ ~

The flight home was relaxing, and Kara took pride in noting that Lena was comparatively calm in her arms than on the Ferris wheel, though she still spent most of the journey with her face nuzzled into her new bear’s fur.

They entered through Lena’s balcony doors. Lena handed the stuffed animals to Kara as she unlocked the door’s dual authentication lock using a thumb print and code. Once inside, she gestured toward the study when Kara asked where she should place their new treasures. Kara had never been in this room and paced slowly over as Lena busied herself with something in the kitchen.

Kara entered the new space through French doors. The study was lined with wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling custom-built bookcases that were stuffed with titles spanning across disparate topics—from Virginia Woolf’s _To the Lighthouse_ and Jacques Derrida’s _Of Grammatology_ to _The Age of Entanglement_ by Louisa Gilder and _Slow Violence and the Environmentalism of the Poor_ by Rob Nixon.

Kara was so overwhelmed by the physical embodiment of the apparent breadth of Lena’s knowledge that she almost missed the Steinway baby grand piano in the corner of the room by the window. Just next to the piano bench, there was a stool housing the potted pink plumerias she had given Lena as a housewarming gift two years ago, when she had finally moved out of the hotel and made National City her permanent home.

She placed the giant stuffed bear on the piano bench, noting that there was a fine layer of dust over the keys and took a seat on the cozy-looking loveseat facing the doors. Lena appeared a moment later, carrying two glasses.

She set them on the coffee table and cuddled up to Kara on the loveseat. She handed Kara her glass of bright gold liquid and took the other for herself—it appeared to be red wine. “I bought a bottle of Winathian wine for you, just in case.” She looked down at her own drink before speaking again. “I figured one glass can’t hurt.”

Kara wasn’t planning on saying anything about it. If Lena wanted to have a drink it was her decision. It _was_ a special occasion. She clinked their glasses together and took a sip—it was surprisingly tasty. Lena took two swigs before setting her glass down. She was slightly fidgety but Kara couldn’t be sure as to why. The easiest way to subdue Lena’s nerves had always been physical contact. So she set down her glass and pulled Lena in for a sweet kiss.

Lena’s heartbeat was still elevated when they pulled back, but Kara hoped it was for a different reason. She took another sip of her wine.

“The plumerias are doing really well. I kinda can’t believe you still have them. I thought maybe you’d’ve gotten rid of them when…when we weren’t speaking.”

Lena’s fingers twitched and she took Kara’s hand in both of her own. “I couldn’t bring myself to throw them out. I just…stopped coming in here. I’d water them, grab a book, and leave.”

Kara eyed the beautiful piano. “Not even to play?”

“I haven’t really played since I was a teenager.” She had a pained look on her face. “I guess I thought having a piano here would, I dunno, encourage me to try taking it up again…”

Lena picked up her glass once more and held it in her lap. Kara had already finished her own. The drink was sweet and it went down smoothly.

“I don’t like the way I get, when I drink…I lose control and I say things I don’t mean to say.” She looked down into her glass, frowning at its dark depths. She looked like she was about to close off her speech with her patented self-deprecating humour, but Kara cut her off, taking the glass from her hands and setting it down slowly so it wouldn’t spill.

Kara cupped Lena’s jaw and drew her in for a deliberate, slow kiss. It lasted a long while. Breathy and biting. Kara didn’t pull back until she heard tell-tale whimpers coming from Lena’s throat. Lena kept her eyes closed as they separated, her lips still parted, waiting for Kara’s to alight there once more.

She spoke against kiss-swollen lips before the trance was broken. “You’re Lena Luthor. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. It takes so much strength to make the decision to change. You _are_ in control.”

When Lena’s eyes finally opened, they shimmered in the low light of the end table lamp. She opened her mouth, but Kara could tell they’d reached a point where words weren’t coming.

Pulling Lena up, she led them out of the study and into her spacious bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed, Lena coming to stand in between her legs.

“And…and when you feel like you’re out of control, I’ll be here.” Kara gazed up into Lena’s eyes and felt the mood shift. She could practically see the gears turning in the brunette’s brain as she pushed forward on Kara’s chest, crawling over her as she lay back on the bed.

Lena stared down at her for a moment, and then wordlessly got up to rummage through her bedside drawer. Kara made herself comfortable on the pillows as she waited. She started as Lena withdrew the small red sun lamp prototype she’d been working on. Lena had been trying to convince her to test it out. She admitted that it was not up to totally sapping Kara’s powers (without fully enclosing her in a yellow sun-less space and bathing her in the red glow), but it _would_ be able to reduce her power by at least half.

“Lena, I don’t think-” She stopped herself when Lena turned back. She had the expression on her face that told Kara she was trying to request something specific. 

“Kara…I know you think you’ll hurt me if we…if you let me touch you. But I watched you today, and I’ve _been_ watching you. You’re more aware of your powers, of your strength. I would trust you even without the lamp, but I hope that, if we use it, you’ll feel like you can relax a bit.”

Kara swallowed. She had to admit it sounded appealing. The lamp meant that, even if she were to lose herself and let go of her powers, the results wouldn’t be catastrophic. And it was true. She felt like she was finally starting to master her body—something she hadn’t felt since pre-Crisis…maybe even ever, on Earth.

She was about to concede to Lena, when she continued, joining her to sit on the bed.

“Maybe I don’t _want_ to be in control all the time,” Lena whispered, continuing Kara’s thought from earlier, trying to impress with her eyes what she meant. Kara felt her heart rise in her throat and a pulse drop to throb in her clit.

Kara nodded, unable to speak for the moment. Lena let out a breath and turned on the lamp. It would take a few minutes for its rays to seep into Kara’s skin.

Lena crawled back over to where Kara was leaning against the headboard and kissed her enthusiastically. They wasted little time in disrobing. The lamp would work more quickly the more Kryptonian skin was exposed.

Kara easily flipped them over so Lena was pinned beneath her. She tugged on Kara’s hair and for once she felt the sharpness of the action. It made her groan. She reached up and tested her grip against the headboard, flexing her fingers slowly over the wooden frame. She needed to be sure that, no matter what, she wouldn’t cause any real damage. The wood shuddered under the pressure but didn’t crack. Good.

Leaning over, she grabbed the other items Lena had pulled from the drawer. She took her time, fiddling with the harness Lena had designed for her. It was easy enough to fit the attachment. The strap was slightly larger than anything Kara had personally seen in real life (though her experience was limited), but Lena had assured her it was to her liking when they had chosen it. Once everything was in place, Kara gave the shaft an experimental squeeze. Immediately, she felt a slight, pleasant vibration against her clit and exclaimed in surprise.

Lena was chuckling, watching the scene unfold.

“I may have made some modifications.” She had an eyebrow raised in amusement. Kara gulped, suddenly nervous about any more potential surprises. She spread a generous amount of lube over the length protruding from between her legs, testing different holds. The vibration took on different patterns depending on which area was being gripped, and reacted to increased pressure with increased frequency in kind without verging on too much. Kara wondered if Lena would start a line of sex toys for El-Corp after this. Part of the company mission statement was, after all, to do good for Earth’s population.

Kara resumed her position above her smug girlfriend and kissed the grin off her face. Lena trailed her fingers over every part of her body she could reach. Kara shivered as short nails scraped paths across newly permeable skin. She grabbed Lena’s wandering hands and held them above her head in a loose grip, nipping at her already swollen lips as she did so.

She reached down and skimmed Lena’s silken folds, already slick from their activity and from the day-long teasing. She inserted two fingers slowly, scissoring them gently inside, stretching Lena’s strong inner walls as she massaged her tongue with her own. She moaned as Lena sucked hard.

Lena ripped herself away, breathing heavily from the stimulation. She seemed to remember her initial reason for wanting to use the red sun lamp. “Kara, I want…I want to taste you.”

Kara ignored the request for the moment, adding a third finger and casually brushing against Lena’s clit, causing the brunette’s hips to buck up. Kara stilled her with her free hand and breathed into her mouth. “Want you wet and open for me.” Kara paused as Lena whined at her words. “Be good for me baby and then you can taste all you want.” Kara watched as Lena registered her words. She hummed and allowed her body to settle into bonelessness. 

Kara gazed over the woman below her, who was now biting her lip in the way she must know by now drove Kara wild. She grabbed one of the many small pillows littering Lena’s king-sized bed and tucked it snuggly under her lower back, then began slowly easing the strap into wet heat.

~ ~ ~

Lena cried out as Kara guided her down from her second orgasm of the evening. Her legs were stretched out over the blonde’s straining shoulders. Kara was breathing hard. She was no longer impervious to the exertion she put forth.

Kara thrust a few more times before withdrawing. Lena felt the vibrations travelling down the strap and into her core and wondered how Kara was still upright. She must’ve been quite close to a second release of her own. As Kara leaned down to capture her mouth in a tender kiss, Lena noticed slight indentations on the headboard from where the Kryptonian had been gripping it intermittently.

Lena caressed Kara’s face before she allowed a hand to travel downward with the intent of reaching under the harness, but Kara stopped her once more. She let out a noise in aggravation at being thwarted, but found herself quickly distracted as Kara took a nipple into her mouth, biting with regulated pressure.

She sighed, gathering blonde hair in her fist, as Kara began sucking at the inner side of her right breast, directly over a love bite that had just begun to fade. Her chest and torso were a pastiche of bruises of various shades and sizes. She’d complain if it didn’t feel so fucking good to be marked. Her skin was like a palimpsest of Kara’s attention; traces of each of their past dalliances remained and were written over again and again. Occasionally Kara dared to leave a mark at her neck or clavicle, knowing she’d have to cake on the cover-up to conceal it for work. Those always took the longest to heal.

Kara’s hands weren’t idle. She was plucking at her nipples with nimble fingers, drawing out each excruciating, exquisite suck with a warm pinch. Lena was torn between letting her go on indefinitely and tugging her off so she could _get_ her off. Either way, she knew she’d have to be the one to end it.

Kara moved to recapture an abused nipple with her lips and Lena moaned in relief at the sensation. She tried once more. “Kara-” Her breath hitched as teeth scraped gently. “Please, Kara.”

Kara spoke in the amount of time it took for her to switch sides. “Mmmm I love you.”

Lena huffed, but couldn’t stop the small smile that still graced her face every time she heard the affirmation. “ _I’m_ up here.” To Lena’s surprise, Kara actually heard her, and dusted her chest with quick kisses on the way up to her mouth.

“You’re everything,” Kara whispered, swallowing Lena’s next retort.

Lena rewarded Kara’s cheekiness by scratching her way across her shoulders, down her back, and around to squeeze her breasts. Lena could actually see the lines left by her nails, thanks to the red sun lamp, and the sight made her want to trace them with her tongue. She made to flip their positions to do just that, but, for once, Kara allowed herself to overpower her.

Lena bit at her neck to express her thoughts on the matter, and Kara groaned, still unused to having pain mixed in with her pleasure.

“Can you take one more for me, baby girl?”

Lena had yet to learn how to deny Kara anything when she was naked underneath her strong body and being asked so sweetly.

She felt a new pool of wetness form between her aching thighs and she nodded. “Yes, da- d-darling.” Kara was already turning her over, and Lena took the opportunity to shove her bright red face into the relative coolness of the pillow. If Kara noticed her hasty revision, she ignored it in favour of pulling her hips back and up.

The position did nothing to alleviate her embarrassment. Lena felt Kara’s stare like a hot brand on her ass, and it only worsened as the blonde took her sweet time, trailing fingers leisurely over her cheeks and through her drenched lips. She turned, breathing heavily, to watch as Kara licked a stripe from her clit to tease at her entrance, causing her to shudder in pleasure. Instinctively, she rocked back into the solid form behind her. She didn’t have to wait long for Kara for re-enter her quaking body. 

Lena clenched hard once the strap was fully engulfed in her tightness, and she heard Kara moan at the ensuing jolts being sent straight to her clit. She felt exquisitely full from this angle. She knew the blonde wouldn’t last long now, and neither would she, given the state of her swollen and sodden lower half.

She propped herself up on her elbows as Kara began thrusting powerfully. She had clearly gained confidence in her ability to control her strength since they’d begun, even. Fortunately for Lena, that meant the tenor of their lovemaking shifted from cautiously forceful to rigorously paced and deep.

“Nghh.” Lena was struggling to hold herself up amidst the pounding onslaught. Despite Kara’s weakened state she was still stronger than anyone she’d been with before, and she felt it as the strap slid deliciously home with each lunging thrust. The battered headboard slammed against the wall in time with their movements, but Lena could hardly hear it over the sound of her own breathless, whining chant. “Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara. Kara.” If she’d been silent, she would have heard Kara’s echoing moan, responding to each of her pleas.

She could practically taste her release, grinding herself back into Kara to try to chase the rapidly approaching apex, when Kara leaned over her and sucked at a spot in between her shoulder blades, still moving at the breakneck pace she’d set.

Kara’s voice was rough and low, but Lena still managed to hear it over the slapping sounds of their bodies meeting over and over. “Don’t come yet, baby. Can you wait for me?” She tugged lightly at Lena’s hair as she spoke. 

Lena sobbed into the pillow below her before exhaling a breathless “yes.” She focused all her energy on staving off her orgasm, waiting intently for Kara’s. Her arms had given out on her, and her breasts were rubbing harshly against the sheets. She moaned loudly at the feeling, and allowed herself to be manoeuvred by the strong hands holding her up by the hip and belly.

The hand on her hip made its way over to grab her ass, a thumb repeatedly smoothing over the soft, sensitive skin there. Lena braced herself for a smack. They’d never actually discussed spanking, but it was what usually came next, in her experience.

“Relax, baby. Good girls don’t need to be spanked.”

Lena choked off a cry as she felt her inner walls spasming at Kara’s words. She didn’t think she could hold off any longer. Mercifully, Kara was right there with her.

“You did so good. Such a good girl. Come with me, Lena.” Her breath caught on the last word, but Lena didn’t hear it as she finally let go with a long, broken moan. She felt Kara tense behind her and exhale a keening cry as she collapsed. She managed to catch herself with one arm, stopping herself from crushing Lena completely.

They lay, breathing harshly for long minutes before Kara pulled out carefully. Lena turned to greet her with a kiss, just now feeling the soaked sheets below them. Her heart was still racing and her arms were achy as she lifted herself up to remove the harness from Kara’s hips. The Kryptonian was apparently too exhausted to protest and allowed it, eyeing Lena closely as she shifted to place soft kisses to wet thighs.

“Lena, I-” She swallowed, but seemed to regain her composure. She looked down at Lena with pure adoration and trust, and nodded. It made the Luthor all the more eager to please her. She knew that Kara hated feeling physically vulnerable. She could handle emotional openness, but her strength was what she used to defend herself against the world, and the world against itself. Lena had learned this lesson all too well with Supergirl’s reaction to her synthetic Kryptonite. For Kara to willingly open herself up this way was a big deal, and she didn’t plan on squandering her opportunity to get close to the blonde goddess. 

She licked and kissed lovingly through Kara’s folds, appreciating the wetness she found there, before moving to her swollen clit. She sucked tentatively at first and then thoroughly, upon seeing Kara’s blissful expression and an absence of anxiety.

She brought her to two gasping orgasms with her mouth before her jaw began to lock up, and switched her lips for fingertips. The third time Kara came, Lena watched in fascination (and arousal) as her eyes turned red with heat, her head thrown up to face the ceiling. No beams escaped, however, and Lena found herself ducking back down to reattach her mouth before she was pulled away gently.

“Good, good. That was so good, baby,” Kara muttered, totally spent. She directed Lena to settle with her head on her chest and reached out to turn off the red sun lamp.

The scratches and bite marks Lena had so lovingly left all over Kara’s torso faded with the red glow of the lamp, and she watched as all her hard work was erased only to be replaced with unblemished, tan skin.

Scratching down Kara’s perfect arm, she pouted. “It’s no fair.”

Kara chuckled, and Lena felt the rumble of it just under her ear. Kara shifted so Lena’s head was pillowed on her arm and looked into her eyes with a soft smile. “I know. I’m so lucky.”

~ ~ ~

Kara was on Krypton. She was in the lab with her dad, working on one of his experiments. Her mom came in, kissing him on the cheek after a long day of work. Kara smiled at the display. She basked in the red glow of Rao, and allowed it to warm her up. Soon, she’d be able to help her father in an official capacity. She’d be the youngest member to join the Science Guild.

The trio made their way to the kitchen, where dinner was somehow already waiting. Potstickers and pizza? She’d never had that particular meal on Krypton before.

The ground beneath them was suddenly shaking. Violently. Kara rushed to the window to look out into the city. She expected to see lava, and flames climbing the sleek buildings below. Instead she saw only water. A vast expanse of water where an entire civilisation used to be. She felt it rising rapidly at her feet, pressing into her from all sides until it was waist high. She watched her mom being carried away by the current, reaching out toward her.

The meal at the kitchen table was long-drowned, and her father was nowhere to be seen. She was soon completely submerged in the murky depths, but still able to open her eyes and see the destruction before her. Every item in her home was floating eerily, and being swept away before her eyes. Suddenly, her dad’s figure was thrust through a window and out into the ocean that used to be Argo City.

Her lungs felt like they were on fire. She’d forgotten about breathing and there was nothing she could do about it now. She looked up in desperation and saw a twinkling green light. Maybe she could break the surface of the flood in time.

She pushed off hard from the crumbling floor beneath her and swam with every remaining ounce of strength left in her body. Her arms were sore but she kept going. She’d lost track of which way was up. It didn’t matter. She followed the green glow. She had a sudden, crippling thought that it could be Kryptonite, pulsing invitingly as the planet imploded. She couldn’t turn back now. Her fate was sealed.

She was starting to see black dots across her vision. Her chest was aching. She kicked hard, thrusting her face up to breach the surface and-

She woke up.

She was breathing like she’d just flown around the world, and there was a cold sheen of sweat coating her skin. It’d been a while since she’d had that particular recurring nightmare.

Her vision adjusted itself to the darkness and she found herself staring straight into Lena’s worried face.

They said nothing. Kara’s breathing evened out gradually, and she continued to stare into blue-green orbs. She thought of Kryptonite, how the bright shade of it made her ill on sight. But the sea green of Lena’s eyes was the most calming colour she had ever seen. In it, she saw trust and love. Lena put total faith in her to keep her safe. She knew that Kara was capable and strong, even when all signs indicated otherwise. Kara felt the assurance on a subconscious level, and she saw it plain as day in the unwavering warmth of Lena’s tired gaze now. She was unbelievably grateful that she had managed to pull herself out from her haunting memories.

Earth birthday always served as a confluence of conflicting emotions. She was fortunate to have arrived on Earth in one piece. To have been accepted into a loving family. But the event also marked the full realisation that her world had been irrevocably altered. Everyone and everything she had known was gone. The forced reboot of her entire life had not been easy. But thinking back onto just how far she’d come since the fateful day of her arrival, she couldn’t help but be comforted by the softness she saw before her.

Lena stroked along her face, wiping away sweat and the tears she hadn’t known were there. Kara shut her eyes and allowed the soothing gesture to lull her back to sleep. The last thing she heard before succumbing was a whispered “Happy Earth birthday, darling. I’m so glad that you’re here.”


	15. xv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self-defence, lunch with Lillian, CatCo, sister's night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long'un. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/tSQUZspylAo?t=32  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wycjnCCgUes  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=hmhlx2UUQXabCLZZV25aHQ

Lena found herself flat on her back for the 10th time that morning. She was starting to think even church would be a better use of her Sundays than having her ass handed to her by an exacting Alex Danvers. But some masochistic part of her enjoyed their brawling sessions. And she truly did feel like the exercise was doing her good—both physically and mentally.

“Get up Luthor! You should’ve blocked me there.” Alex was circling her impatiently as she stood slowly.

One thing she’d learned since sparring with Kara’s sister was that she had a lot of pent of aggression that was bubbling at the surface, waiting to be let out every week with a satisfying punch or kick to the boxing dummies at the Tower. She rarely succeeded in landing a blow to Alex herself, once they began their actual fighting. Though she was improving on that front.

When they’d started Alex had mostly had her doing monotonous and torturous bouts of burpees, bodyweight squats, there-and-backs, and all kinds of circuits that had her feeling like she was at some kind of boot camp. After the initial soreness had worn off, week by week, she found she actually looked forward to the exercise. It helped take her mind off of work, and Alex was an entertaining sparring partner—even when she was yelling at her to get her ass into gear.

She blocked Alex’s next two jabs with her forearms, and pivoted on her back heel to dodge the third, swiping her other leg in time with the motion. Alex was bowled over by the slew foot. In Lena’s surprise at her own achievement, she delayed a second too long to pin Alex to the floor and the elder Danvers sprang back up and landed a heavy blow to her ribs, knocking the wind out of her.

Lena knew better than to expect mercy at this stage of their training, and she rolled out of the way of Alex’s next retaliating manoeuvre. Getting her footing once more, she aimed a kick at Alex’s left ear, hoping to catch her off guard. The redhead caught her shoe and twisted her ankle slightly, easily putting Lena off balance. She stumbled but stayed upright.

Alex was breathing heavily, but she always had enough wind to shout out tips for improvement (or goading quips). “Nice try. Next time, make it a smoother roundhouse and maybe you’ll get me. I saw that coming from a mile away.” 

Lena was too out of breath to respond verbally. She waited for Alex’s next attack, praying that she’d be able to spot a weakness in her stance.

Alex started forward, but zigged to the left at the last second, foiling Lena’s defensive posture. She managed to deflect the hardest shot, but Alex nailed her in the upper arm, causing instant cramping.

“Ugh, fuck off Danvers.”

She tried shaking out the arm, but that only worsened the pain.

“Let’s stop there for the day.” Alex wasn’t taking her usual delight in Lena’s pains. Normally she’d already be getting an earful about Alex’s supremacy, and they’d go back and forth about their respective prowess until they parted ways. But Alex was already headed for the locker room, hardly sparing Lena a second glance.

Lena followed her in. “What, no devastating comments about my poor form? My weak constitution?”

Alex merely grunted in response, grabbing her shower caddy and a towel from her locker. Lena stopped her with a hand to the shoulder before she sprinted away to rinse off. “Alex, what’s wrong?”

Alex sighed. “It’s nothing. I’m just frustrated.” She rubbed sweat from her brow, blowing uncooperative hair from her face. “The adoption agency called this morning to say that couple passed on us.”

Lena didn’t quite know what to say. She settled for a sympathetic look.

Alex gave her a tight smile. “Don’t worry about it. Maybe I should try being less of a hard-ass. That’d at least spare you some bruising.”

“Ha. While I can’t deny that you _can_ be pretty rigid, we all know you’re secretly a big softie. The adoption people would be blind not to see that.” Lena was becoming quite habituated with comforting Kara, but it was a lot less natural to be consoling her sister. “Besides, Kelly more than makes up for your snark with her sweetness.”

Alex responded by poking her, _hard_ , in the purpling bruise already radiating across her right deltoid. “Speak for yourself. You want us all to think you’re this tough business bitch, but you can’t be _that_ hard if you’re dating my sister.” She left for the shower, shouting back an explanation for her hurriedness. “Kelly and I are getting lunch! Wanna join?”

Lena heard the water turn on as she began taking her clean clothes out of her own locker. She preferred to shower at home. She bent to unlace her trainers and pull down her compression pants, shouting so Alex would hear her. “I’d love to, but I’ve somehow been conned into having lunch with my mother.”

She thought she heard Alex drop a bottle, but she responded soon after. “What? Lillian? How’d that happen? Sorry dude.”

She pulled on her trackpants and slotted her feet into slides, shedding her t-shirt and sports bra in the process. “Yeah, it’s, quote, ‘to make up for rudely cancelling our Friday appointment with little to no notice.’”

She’d just managed to fasten her bra and was digging around for a baggy shirt in Kara’s locker when Alex reappeared in a towel. “Thanks for celebrating Earth birthday with Kara by the wa- whaa- oh. No. Nope. _No_.”

Lena looked down and realised her love bitten torso was on full display and that Alex had certainly seen the evidence of what her supposedly sweet sister got up to behind closed doors. Alex yanked her own clothes over her head as Lena’s whole body tried to match the pinkest mark decorating her chest. She was at a total loss for how to sidestep _this_ unexpected snag.

Alex was dressed in record time, finally glancing back over once Lena had pulled on a soft grey t-shirt. “I could have happily gone my entire life without knowing… _that_.” She waved vaguely up and down Lena’s body with a weary hand, hitching her gym bag onto her shoulder.

Lena debated reciprocating by unhelpfully providing even more unsolicited detail into their sex life to make Alex uncomfortable, but settled on a more effective compromise. “Why don’t we just forget this happened and _I’ll_ forget that I once heard Kelly call you ‘Agent Danvers’ when she thought she’d hung up the phone.”

Alex looked at her with narrowed eyes, scanning to see if she was bluffing, before the tips of her ears turned bright red and she coughed once into her hand. “Right. Fine.”

The walk out to J’onn’s front office was a long one, but Kelly was there waiting when they arrived.

Alex greeted her with a tender kiss that made Lena laugh internally. This woman had just spent the past hour and a half beating the shit out of her, but she turned into a ball of mush whenever Kelly was in the vicinity.

“Good session?” Kelly asked Alex, but turned to include Lena with a smile.

Alex and Lena merely looked at each other and shrugged, causing Kelly to roll her eyes. “We’re trying that new Mexican place downtown. Did you want to come with?”

Alex smirked and answered on her behalf. “I already invited her. She’s having lunch with her dear old mother.”

Kelly looked surprised by this. “Oh! I didn’t know that was a thing you two did.”

“It’s not.” Lena grimaced. “This is more of a ‘payback’ meal than anything.”

Kelly looked toward Alex as if to ask ‘do I want to know?’ The redhead shook her head.

“Well,” Kelly clasped her hands together, trying to salvage the interaction. “Don’t forget to email me your picks for next month’s book. I don’t know about you, but I’m barely going to finish _Pillars of the Earth_ in time. Maybe we should keep it under a thousand pages going forward? I know Eve was struggling as well. Oh, and send me that recipe you were talking about, I’ll make it for our next meeting.”

“I’ll email you tonight. If I survive this lunch.”

“Okay.” Kelly moved forward and gave her a quick hug, squeezing the spot directly over her newly-formed bruise. Lena hissed at the pressure, drawing Kelly’s eyes to the source of her discomfort when she pulled back.

“Ouch. You should probably ice that.”

“Maybe if she’d learn to block, she wouldn’t have to,” Alex chirped unhelpfully.

“We can’t all be MMA-calibre fighters, _Agent Danvers_.” She said it with a knowing look that shut Alex up.

The couple headed out to eat and Lena rushed home to take a quick shower and make herself presentable for her inscrutable adoptive mother. She would forgo the ice for now. She feared she’d need a full-body ice bath once this meal was over.

~ ~ ~

Lena was exactly two minutes late for her lunch with Lillian, and found herself seated across from an icy stare that let her know her tardiness was not unnoticed. To Lena’s surprise, Lillian chose not to comment.

The ritzy décor of the establishment matched the frivolity of the meal that was already laid out before her. Egg and cress sandwiches with no crusts, several scones, and toasted crumpets were scattered across a tiered dish. She poured out a cup of steaming tea and savoured the warm taste of the blend.

“Thank you for meeting me, Lena. I thought we ought to do tea. I know you tend to favour British customs…probably the influence of your biological mother.” She was sipping her own tea, peering over the cup with a shrewd gaze.

“My mother was Irish, actually. As in _Ireland_ , not Northern Ireland.” Lena grabbed a sandwich, remembering that Lillian was typically much more agreeable if she went along with her exploits. “But this was a lovely idea. They do tea in Ireland as well, of course.” _Shut up, Lena. She doesn’t care_. “So what was it that you wanted to discuss? I’m sorry for having to cancel last week, but something came up that couldn’t be ignored.”

Lillian dabbed her napkin at her lower lip, eyeing the tray in front of her. “I figured we ought to chat about something other than business for once. I _would_ like an update about the company’s progress, of course, but…well, with Lex…how he is and Lionel long gone, it’s just us. You’re the only family I’ve got left. And I’ve heard that one ought to cherish familial ties.”

Lena chewed thoughtfully at her sandwich, grabbing another just for something to do other than look at Lillian’s face. This must be an act. There was simply no way her mother just wanted a quick chat. She’d spent most of Lena’s life either erecting a wall made of resentment and frost between them, or actively pushing her away to boarding school, to the safety of the lab, unintentionally into Supergirl’s arms. Lena knew better than anyone that Luthors were capable of playing a long game—a _very_ long game. She tried to cast her mind into the future, a dozen moves ahead, to see what Lillian could possibly hope to gain from talking to her about something as inconsequential as her life.

“What a heart-warming sentiment.” She sipped delicately, trying to keep a neutral tone. She winced slightly as she set her cup down. Her arm was quite sore already. She hated to think how bad it would be in two days’ time.

“You’re even stiffer than usual, Lena. I’d’ve thought you’d be all smiles and sunshine now that you’ve made up with your friend.” Lillian’s response matched hers in its evenness. Lena tried, but there was nothing to be gleaned from her words.

Lena sighed in frustration and she wasn’t even sure as to why. Something about Lillian just irritated her. Like she was sitting on marbles.

“I’ve been taking self-defence lessons and I’m a bit sore. Today’s session was quite rough.”

Lillian arched a brow at that. “Self-defence? I suppose that _would_ be a valuable asset for a woman in your position.”

“Yes. As I’m sure you’re aware, walking around with the Luthor label isn’t exactly easy.” She poured herself another cup of tea. She’d accidentally chugged the first back while listening to Lillian. She wished there was something stronger within reach.

“I meant more in that you’re CEO of one of the world’s leading tech companies. _And_ you’re close with Supergirl. Surely that involves some physical risk.” Lillian abandoned her sandwich in favour of a crumpet and began lathering it with peanut butter. “But point taken. You needn’t constantly remind me of how terrible being a Luthor has been for you. I’m well aware.” Lillian looked almost abashed, but it could have just been the lighting giving her cheeks a human hue.

Lena moved on to the selection of scones calling her name and dolloped clotted cream and jam onto the nearest pastry. She was starving after the morning’s workout. She contemplated ignoring Lillian’s remark, but it had been the first time the woman had spoken of the horrorshow that was the Luthor household and Lena was intrigued enough to pry at the uncomfortable acknowledgement.

“I suppose it was bad enough for you to recognise, but not quite so bad that you thought to change your parenting style, then.” She bit into her scone and a glob of jam fell onto the napkin in her lap. She moved to hold herself more carefully over her plate and the motion put her worsening bruise directly into Lillian’s line of sight.

Her mother visibly flinched at the mark on her arm, which was barely concealed by her silk top. Lena thought at first it was a reaction to her poor table manners, but Lillian’s expression turned too dour to be about etiquette.

“You probably won’t believe this, Lena, but I tried my best. To protect you, I mean.” She calmly swallowed some of her tea, but when she set the cup back in its saucer it clinked jarringly. “I didn’t even realise, at first, that it was happening. Lionel was always such an affable man. Except when he wasn’t.” She spun the cup as she spoke, rotating it as she sifted through her own memory. “But when I saw the bruises…Well, let’s just say it was my idea to send you to boarding school in Ireland.”

Lena was stock still. Her tea was going cold but she didn’t really care. Her first reaction was to call bullshit on Lillian’s explanation. But as she thought back, it was plausible that she had been ignorant to Lionel’s abuse. They were not a touchy family, and Lillian had always been too busy with her work to notice Lena, let alone anything unseemly marring her body. She’d had to ask for assistance from their housekeeper when she’d gotten her first period at 13. Lillian hadn’t even noticed that Lena was an adult until she’d shown her evidence of her first PhD.

As for it being her idea to send Lena away, that much had always been clear.

Through it all, Lena felt herself fighting the urge to defend Lionel. Yes, he’d been awful. But he had also been incredibly kind…when he wasn’t drunk. He had made her feel wanted and loved. He had been the one to rescue her from the orphanage and claim her as his daughter. Lillian had simply ignored her. And why shouldn’t she have? Lena was evidence of Lionel’s infidelity—a living embodiment of everything Lillian had been betrayed for.

Clearing her throat, she tentatively prodded at the topic that had arisen, unbidden. “Yes, well. He wasn’t _always_ terrible. He…he could be kind. He’s the one who enrolled me in piano lessons. And he encouraged me to make friends.” _Unsuccessfully…_

Lillian frowned. “He always favoured you over Lex. I think you must’ve reminded him of your mother. He used to say you looked just like her.” She briskly downed the rest of her tea. “Though I suspect that’s also why he was so nasty to you when he drank. You reminded him of what he’d lost.”

Lena let out a shaky breath. She looked at her plate and saw that she’d shredded a scone into uneven fragments. For the first time ever, she saw a look of remorse cross Lillian’s features. Whether at the memory of Lena’s childhood or at the callous way she described her mother’s death, Lena couldn’t be sure.

“I regret not doing more, Lena. But I had no interest in you when you arrived. By the time I grew to love you, you were already too smart to trust me. So I maintained the distance. I thought it’d do well to help you to be strong—a counterpoint to Lionel’s coddling.”

Lena abandoned the smashed scone and sat back in her seat. “That’s convenient.”

Lillian rolled her eyes. “What do you want me to say? That I wished you ill? That I detested you? Well I _did_ detest you. And maybe if Lionel hadn’t shown himself to be so weak, Lex wouldn’t have had to poison him.” She calmly poured herself another cup of tea as Lena gaped.

“What? Lex…I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.” She frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose in exhaustion. This was actually the least surprising revelation of the afternoon. Patricide was completely in character for her brother.

“Yes, well. I suggest we try to move on. I’m sick of discussing these sordid details. You’re doing as well as can be expected—better, even, than I had projected for you. If only the same could be said for my dear Lex.” Lillian exhaled, but looked at Lena sincerely.

She swallowed the feeling that rose in her throat at the reminder that Lex had always been _Lillian’s_ favourite. Oh well. There was nothing to be done about it all now.

Lena sipped her tea, but it was intolerably tepid at this point. Setting the cup back on its saucer, she tried to change the subject to safe territory. It was a challenging task, with Lillian.

“Have I told you about the project I’ve been developing in my spare time?”

Lillian shook her head, urging her to continue. She mimed the comportment of an avid mom with aplomb. There was something to be said about going through the motions. Maybe the practice on its own would be enough to transform her into a real mother. The bare minimum of effort on Lillian’s part made her seem as kind and loving as Marmee March to Lena.

~ ~ ~

Kara was having a rough Monday. She’d been out all morning trying to track down leads for her latest assignment, but had come up with two dead ends, one witness who wouldn’t go on the record, and several people who were still somehow managing to evade her calls and drop-ins. If only she could question them as Supergirl…

She was holed up in her office, trying to corral the intel she _did_ have into a coherent document. Often, she’d take her work out into the bullpen, the din of the other reporters helping to drown out more acute noises coming from elsewhere. But today she was not in the mood for giving William open access to her from across the floor. The man acted casually enough, but Kara could still detect a hint of longing in his voice whenever they spoke. She knew it was only a matter of time before he brought up the topic of their lone date and suggested another. She’d made herself clear on the subject, but it felt as though he was purposely ignoring the parts of their conversations that he didn’t want to hear.

She heard a knock at her door and it was opening before she could respond. A voice in her head that sounded a lot like Lena reminded her that this was extremely rude and entirely negated the purpose of knocking. William strode in confidently, despite his faux pas.

“Hey Kara. How’s the story coming? Need any help? I finished all my assignments early so I’m available as a gofer.” He laughed, and Kara silently repeated his statement in her head, thinking she’d missed a joke. “I’m also available, in general.”

His puffed-out chest suggested that he thought this was hilarious. Kara was less than amused.

“I’m good, thanks. On all fronts.” She nodded curtly and ducked back down to her notepad. Was it bad to will a Supergirl emergency to occur? Just something small…anything that would allow her to duck out until lunch, when Lena would come to get her. They were going to try out a new tapas place on 5th.

William sat himself down in the chair facing her desk, taking on a concerned look. “Hey, you seem stressed. I’m sorry about the jokes, okay? I didn’t mean to make you angry.” He was looking at her with beseeching eyes.

Kara replied confusedly. “Oh, um. Well I _am_ stressed, but it’s not because of anything _you_ did, really. Just having a hard time making any headway with this. The usual stuff.” Interesting that he assumed her mood was an effect of his behaviour.

He perked up immediately, his concern lifting with his posture. “Well, maybe I can take your mind off things. You know, we never did go on that second date. I was thinking we could-”

Kara held up a hand to stop him. “William, I’m sorry but-” She cringed. She’d been trying to apologise less for things that were not her fault. “I’ve said this already, I’m just not interested in dating you. You seem like a nice guy, but I’d rather we just stay friends.” _Co-workers. Acquaintances. Whatever._

He faltered slightly, but recovered quite quickly, in Kara’s opinion. “Oh no worries. I mean…You did turn me down once right? But then you changed your mind. And we had a great time! I even let you beat me at pool! Maybe, when you’re feeling better, you’ll be up for another date.” He got up and made his way to the door he had barged through. “I’m nothing if not patient.” He winked, and Kara had to stop herself from snapping her laptop in half. She had to stop this. Molly had been encouraging her to voice her opinion more often, to be more assertive, and now was as good a time as any.

She stood and approached him. His face was gleeful until she started speaking. “Actually, I regret the date. Not that it was terrible or anything, just…I wasn’t really being honest with you or myself when I agreed to go. And, I really shouldn’t have to say this, given how many times I’ve told you that I just want to be friends, but I _am_ currently seeing someone and it’s very serious.”

William was gaping slightly by the end. “Okay then.” He scratched his jaw. “Well, I feel like another batch of my nan’s soup might put me ahead of your mystery man. Do I know the lucky devil?”

Was she speaking to a brick wall? Kara felt all the energy drain out of her as she tried to think of something to say to make this conversation end.

“Dey.” Snapper appeared in the doorway, thrusting a document in William’s chest. “This article needs work. Your bias is showing. And Mackenzie spoke to your second source. They’re retracting their statement. Get back to work, and stop bothering Danvers.”

The unperturbable man looked humbled by Snapper’s rebuke and slouched back off to his desk with one last look at Kara. She sighed in relief once he was gone.

“Don’t let him give you trouble, ponytail. You’re twice the reporter he is.” She was about to inform Snapper that the issue wasn’t work-related, but then she caught wind of the compliment and blushed at the rare praise. She didn’t have the heart to point out that she rarely ever wore a ponytail to the office anymore.

“I…Thanks, Snapper.” She toyed with her glasses and looked despairingly at her file-filled desk. 

“Why don’t you get Nal in here to help you with some of that?” He pointed at the stack with the arm of his glasses. “You better learn to command some respect from these new hires, ponytail. Your authority’ll be challenged even more often when you’re Senior Editor.” 

She looked at him questioningly. This was the first she’d heard of a potential promotion.

“Don’t get too excited.” He made a slowing motion with his hands. “But play your cards right, and don’t annoy me, and you might get it by end of year. Flores is moving over to ad sales. Another one going to the dark side.” He shook his head. “You won’t leave me for the dark side though, will you Danvers?”

Kara grinned, waving Nia over as she walked Snapper out the door. “I would never.”

He walked off, replacing his glasses on his face. “That’s my girl.” He might be a total grouch, but Kara had missed Snapper when he’d been on sabbatical. He _did_ teach her everything she knew about journalism.

Nia skipped into her office and Kara closed the door behind her, hoping for some quiet so they could actually get some work done.

“Did Snapper just _smile_?” Nia looked quizzically at Kara, taking her usual seat.

“Yeah. It’s like the Olympics: It happens once every four years.” Kara placed a stack of papers in front of Nia. “Got time to read?”

“Absolutely. It’s either this or finish my listicle about the 30 hottest tech innovators under 30.” She clicked her pen and cleared some space at Kara’s desk. She looked up when Kara didn’t reply. “Really? Not gonna ask who made #1?”

Kara continued typing, not missing a beat. “It’s obviously Lena. Stop distracting me.”

Nia grinned sneakily then swiftly changed the subject.

“So what did William want? Was he trying to secure another invite to game night? I’m _so_ sorry about that, by the way.”

Kara gave up on trying to concentrate. Nia was too chatty sometimes. She opened her top drawer, taking out some candy to share with the younger woman. “You don’t have to keep apologising Nia, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

They both chewed at their Twizzlers for a moment. Kara surrendered. This was going to turn into a gossip sesh and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“He was trying to ask me out again.” She rubbed at her eyes beneath her glasses. “I shut him down every time, but it’s like he doesn’t hear it.” She heard the exasperation seeping into her tone. Nia clucked her tongue disapprovingly.

“He’s like mould. Or a boomerang. Or something else that keeps coming back. Guys like that are the worst.”

“Guys like what?” Sure, William was annoying, but he was generally kind and good at his job. Kara just wasn’t communicating clearly enough, apparently.

“You know. The ‘nice guy’ who gaslights you and makes you feel like you owe him the kindness of a date just because he isn’t _actively_ being a dick. But really the whole thing is just a guilt trip and the only reason you’re even considering it is because the bar for men is basically buried six feet under the ground at this point.” Nia waved a Twizzler as she spoke, chewing on another.

Kara blinked. “Um. Yeah. I guess…that _does_ kinda sound like him.”

“Don’t tell me you still feel bad about rejecting him? You’re too patient for your own good, Kara.” Nia rolled her eyes lovingly. “Alex told me all about Mon-El.”

 _What?_ “Mon-El? That was different, he…he didn’t harass me to go out with him. He was…he was sweet.”

Nia was nonplussed. “From what I’ve heard, your entire relationship was you arguing with him and trying to make him into a good person while he lied to you and treated you like you weren’t _literally_ Supergirl.”

Kara shoved four Twizzlers into her mouth and bit off a large chunk. Yeah. That was right. But it hurt to hear it said like that. Like it had been _all_ terrible. Because there were good parts. He had made her feel like she wasn’t totally alone. Like there _was_ someone out there who could love her.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t even know him. I didn’t mean to crap all over your relationship… I heard it was hard for you, when he left.” She placed a hand on Kara’s arm.

“It’s okay. You’re right, I think. And that’s probably why it sucks so much, that I loved him. Because he wasn’t perfect. But at least he loved me back. You know?” She gave Nia a small smile. She’d spoken to Molly about the phase she went through after Mon-El left the first time. It was difficult admitting to herself just how poorly she’d handled things. How poorly she’d handled _him_.

Nia patted her arm and sat back in her chair. “You’ll find someone who deserves you. If that’s what you want.”

Another knock at the door caused both women to look up.

“Come in,” Kara said clearly.

Lena entered, shutting the door behind her. Kara suddenly wished Nia wasn’t here because she could really do with a kiss right now. They still hadn’t had a moment to tell their friends and it felt extremely unnatural to hide their affection.

“Looks like you two are hard at work.” Lena smirked at the Twizzlers clutched in Nia’s hand and sticking out of Kara’s mouth. “Are you ready for lunch, darling?”

“Mhm. I’ll finish this later. We were just talking.” She closed her folder so her files wouldn’t accidentally get blown away and Nia stood to help.

“Oh? I hope I’m not interrupting?”

Nia chimed in. “We were just talking about how William is a pain in the ass and how Kara _might_ have a pattern with men.” She glanced at Kara as she spoke, smiling so she knew it was a lighthearted remark.

Lena smoothed a non-existent flyaway hair. “Ah. Yes.” She looked at Kara, concerned. “Was he bothering you _again_?”

Kara shrugged, grabbing her purse. “It’s fine. I’m used to it by now.”

“Right. It must be so annoying having all these hot guys under 40 coming at you all the time.” Nia was nodding, but stopped at the look Lena levelled at her. “Relax, Lena. I’m kidding. There aren’t swarms of guys hitting on Kara.” When Lena looked back to Kara, Nia met the blonde’s eyes, shaking her head and mouthing “I’m not kidding.”

Kara laughed. At least Winn had taken his rejection like a true friend. Why did she have to lose such a good one to the future?

“Anyway. I’d better get back to my listicle. Look out, though, Lena. You’ll probably have swarms after you too, once it’s published.” Nia winked and sped out.

Lena looked confused. “What was that about?”

Kara reached behind her and shut the door, before placing her hands on either side of Lena’s head, trapping her against it. She whispered a quiet “hi” against her lips, kissing her sweetly. She was grateful that she’d had the foresight to shut the blinds in her office in an attempt at productivity.

By the time she pulled back, Lena was gazing up at her, adorably, so she placed another kiss on the tip of her nose. 

“Ehm, what were we talking about?” Lena squeezed Kara’s shoulders then righted the strap of her purse as Kara stepped away slightly.

“Food.” Kara grinned and reached out to guide Lena out with a hand on her arm. The brunette winced slightly at her touch and Kara felt her heart plummet. Had she been too rough? It’d been a while since she’d misjudged her strength. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” She lowered her glasses and x-rayed Lena’s arm, seeing an ugly bruise. She felt sick.

Lena’s hands were cradling her face in an instant. “No, no. It wasn’t you, sweetheart. Alex got me quite hard yesterday during our training, that’s all. It’s still tender.”

Kara frowned as her heart returned to its regular pace. Her sister was supposed to be teaching Lena to protect herself from harm, not inflicting real damage. She’d have to speak with her. A separate, gnawing feeling made itself known to her as Lena leaned in to kiss her jaw. _She_ should be the only person leaving marks on Lena. This new, hideous bruise was an anomaly, a misfit among the pretty pattern she’d left under Lena’s shirt.

Lena stroked her arm, waiting for Kara to process whatever she was feeling. Their eyes met, and it was like she could read Kara’s mind. She spoke softly. “I know, darling. The only marks I want on my body are yours.” 

Kara felt a low noise escape the back of her throat and she ducked back down to kiss lightly at Lena’s exposed neck. She couldn’t leave any traces right now, but this would have to do. Lena sighed lightly in contentment, weaving her fingers through Kara’s hair.

They were both breathless and pink in the cheeks when Kara had had her fill. The Kryptonian’s stomach grumbled loudly, signalling that their lunch was far overdue. Lena smoothed a hand across the source of the noise fondly before leading her out.

They were just about to make their escape when Kara spotted a familiar head of blonde hair and heard the clicking heels of a signature, entitled walk. Cat Grant was here. At CatCo. And she was making a beeline toward the couple.

She reached them by the elevators, giving the pair an appraising look, arms akimbo.

“How long have the two of you been sleeping together?” Cat greeted in her usual drawl, unconcerned with the impropriety of the question.

Lena’s face remained impassively stony, but Kara sputtered, as if Cat’s mere presence had transported her back five years in time.

“Miss Grant! Hi! What are you doing here? I mean, not that you shouldn’t be here! It’s still CatCo. It’s _your_ company. Ha ha. _You’re_ Cat. Well, Lena owns it now. But we’re- it’s great to see you! How have you been? How’s Carter?”

Cat waited impatiently while Kara finished her uncoordinated spiel before replying. “I see you’re as eloquent as ever, Keira. Some things never change. However…” She looked her up and down, raking her eyes slowly over Kara’s suddenly shrinking form. “I didn’t think it was possible, but has your fashion sense somehow gotten… _worse_?”

Kara felt herself flush with embarrassment at the assessment, though she knew most of Cat’s cattiness was for show. Lena had been watching the interaction with restrained interest, but chose that moment to interject.

Lena ran a hand softly down Kara’s arm as she spoke. “I think _Kara_ looks lovely. In fact, I’ve never seen her in an outfit she couldn’t pull off.” She raised an eyebrow at Cat in challenge, and Kara felt nervous on her girlfriend’s behalf.

“Hmm.” Cat’s attention was firmly set on Lena now; the two were eye-level, both in four-inch heels. “Miss Luthor. I suppose we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” Her tone shifted to begrudging approval. “I’ve just dropped Carter off for El-Corp’s science camp. He’s been looking forward to it all summer. I suppose I should commend you for taking an interest in the minds of tomorrow.”

Lena crossed her arms, but tilted her head modestly at the compliment.

Cat’s gaze flicked back and forth between the two. “I’ll be back in town Friday to pick him up. The three of us should get lunch. I’ll email you my schedule.”

Lena looked like she was about to protest—her own schedule was rather full—but Kara silenced her with a quick squeeze of her hand. It was easiest to deal with Cat’s requests by complying with them. “Sounds great, Miss Grant.” There was an awkward lull in the conversation; historically, Cat would already be marching away to her own work, but she had pressed the button to call the lift and was waiting for the private elevator that had long been opened up by Lena. Kara reached for something to fill the silence and grabbed onto the topic at the top of her mind. “Well, it sounds like Carter is doing well. How is Adam?” She blushed. _Great job, Kara. Remind her that you dumped her son._

Cat’s reply was swift and flippant. “Oh, he’s in prison now.” Kara balked, but Cat seemed to have no patience for the topic. She donned a humongous pair of designer sunglasses. “Don’t worry. He deserves to be there.”

She stepped into the elevator, holding the door open as she closed off the discussion. “I’d like to hear about your plans for my company, Miss Luthor. And, Keira, you’ll have to fill me in on everything.” She gestured at the two. “I’ve obviously missed a lot.” The doors closed, Cat was gone, and Kara exhaled a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

“She’s a piece of work, isn’t she?” Lena pulled her toward a newly vacant elevator and they stepped inside. “I think it’s a bit ridiculous that she’s still pretending she doesn’t know your name. I’ll see to that at our lunch with her, which, by the way, I do _not_ have time for.”

Kara swallowed hard. They were in the same elevator where she’d had her Psi-induced panic attack. She usually took the stairs at CatCo. She hated enclosed, moving boxes of suffocation on the best of days, but the stress of the morning, coupled with this particular lift was making it hard for her to breathe. She heard Lena speaking but the words bounced off of her and were absorbed into the padded walls of the cell.

“Kara? Kara?” She felt Lena’s hands brushing hair away from her face. She screwed her eyes shut and tried to perform her usual grounding technique. When she opened her eyes, she saw herself inside her pod. Her back was to Krypton and she felt the air ripple toward the vehicle as the planet burst. Rubble buffeted the pod’s exterior, and she spun uncontrollably out into the black abyss of space, completely off course.

The red glow surrounding her turned to an ominous green. She felt her skin prickling with trace amounts of Kryptonite. She was stuck, immobile, in the Fortress of Solitude. Lena had trapped her there. This place that was supposed to be a sanctuary for her and Kal-El. It was now another source of anxiety and claustrophobia. She wanted to go home. _Zehdh_. She started into her mantra. Slowly but surely finding her way out of the mental entrapment she’d found herself in.

When she came to, she was sat just outside the elevators on the ground floor of the CatCo offices. Lena was crouched in front of her, hands on her knees.

“Are you alright, darling?” Lena’s voice was so soft, Kara wasn’t sure whether it was real or imagined.

She nodded, awkwardly rising from her position to stand with the brunette. Lena’s eyes were wide with worry, but Kara didn’t want to tell her what she’d seen. Didn’t want to have to explain that part of her flashback had involved Lena. That Lena could be the source of anything even remotely close to pain.

She cleared her throat, settling against the wall for a moment. “I’m claustrophobic…sometimes…” She moved her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I was in my pod, with Krypton behind me.” Her lips were trembling, but she forced herself to continue. She knew she had to expel whatever this was _now_ , before it got buried deep down where it had been hiding. “Then…then it felt like I was back at the Fortress…when…” She didn’t know how to continue, but Lena understood.

Lena looked like she’d been slapped, and then her face broke entirely. Kara hated everything about this. She wanted to console Lena, but she knew it wasn’t right—Lena had been the one who hurt _her_ , in this case.

The brunette was avoiding her eyes, perhaps trying to keep Kara from seeing the shame glistening behind green irises. “Kara, I-” She shuddered and looked up, taking Kara’s hands into her own. “I am _so_ sorry that I hurt you. The fact that it’s _still_ hurting you, it’s…I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself.”

Kara pulled her forward and they hugged. Lena made a small noise as she became fully enclosed in the embrace, like she was surprised at being welcome back into the security of Kara’s arms.

“It’s okay,” Kara croaked, her voice wobbly. “It’s just a bad memory. I know…I know you wouldn’t do it again.” 

Lena pulled back and wiped away a stray tear. She put on a brave face. They were in public and this was a bit heavy. People were starting to file out around them as they left the building for the lunch hour. “Let’s go. We’ll both feel better after we eat.”

Kara hoped that she was right.

~ ~ ~

It had been a long and exhausting day, and Kara was looking forward to crashing when she got home. Even lunch hadn’t improved her mood. She and Lena had picked at their tapas, carrying on with an awkward conversation, before parting ways. Things had never been awkward with Lena before. Their interactions had either been idyllic and second-nature, or tense and thick with unspoken thoughts and desires. This new in-between feeling was disconcerting.

Tossing her keys on the kitchen island, Kara looked up to see her sister sprawled out on her couch, staring at the ceiling.

Alex perked up at Kara’s presence, smoothing her tousled hair and clutching a blanket tightly around herself. “Hey Kara. I, uh, is it a bad time for a sisters’ night?”

Kara removed her glasses, feeling her shoulders soften at the idea. Alex would know how to fix things. “There is never a bad time for a sisters’ night.” It wasn’t often that her depressive moods synced up with Alex’s. This situation called for all their classic comfort foods and films. “Let me get my cozy pants on and we can order some ‘za.”

Alex nodded as Kara disappeared behind the curtain blocking off her room. She heard her calling the takeout place, hanging up just as she re-emerged. 

Kara took her usual spot next to Alex, making space for herself under the roomy blanket. Alex was fiddling with the frayed hem, looking like she needed a hug. So Kara drew her in for a cuddle. She felt the redhead relax against her, her arms coming up to reciprocate with a strong squeeze in kind.

Alex sighed when they separated. She leaned her head back against the couch and spoke to the ceiling. “I don’t think the universe wants me to be a mom.”

Kara reached out and took her hand. She’d heard from Lena about Alex and Kelly’s latest setback. She felt awful for her sister. It hurt even more because Kara knew that Alex would be the _best_ mom.

“I don’t think the universe gets a say. Since when do you let it decide what you can and can’t do?” Kara gave her a small smile, but Alex had tears in her eyes. “You’re Alex Danvers. You can do anything!”

Alex chuckled self-deprecatingly. “I think you’re confusing me with Supergirl. _She_ can do anything. _I_ can only do what the dozens of adoption agencies I’ve harassed allow me to do.” She closed her eyes. Kara knew she was trying not to cry.

“Well…What if you didn’t adopt?” Kara thought back to her home planet, how the process was so much simpler than Earth’s arbitrary assignments based on wealth, genetic fate, and sex chromosomes. “On Krypton, we used a birthing matrix to combine DNA. It was kind of impersonal by Earth’s standards, but something like that could work here, in theory.”

Alex frowned. “Seems a bit extreme…Hmm…” She seemed to be genuinely considering the option. They _did_ have access to state-of-the-art technology and a world class mind in the form of Lena Luthor. “I should probably propose engagement before I propose alien birthing technology, don’t you think?”

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Are you thinking of proposing?!”

“Yeah…Yeah, I think I am.” Alex reddened slightly, but she seemed assured in her decision. “It feels right. Things have been going really, really well, aside from…this. And it’s not like I’m rushing into it, like with Maggie.” She looked thoughtful, possibly thinking of various ways to pop the question. Kara was relieved to see there was no residual ache in Alex’s voice at the mention of her former fiancée. 

Kara yanked her in for another hug. She was teary. “I’m so happy for you, Alex. Kelly is amazing.”

Alex smiled a real smile. “Yes, she is. I wonder what she’ll think of alternative birthing options though.” Her smile faltered a bit, but she seemed confident, overall, that they would land on the same page.

“I mean, it’s not like Kelly can knock you up, so…something like the birthing matrix would be the closest thing to a typical childbirth.”

That set off something in Alex’s brain; her eyes tightened in concentration. “No…Kelly can’t. But…” She paused, then looked back at Kara, blowing out a breath. “James can.”

If Kara had been drinking, she would have done a spit take. “What?!” 

“He could be our sperm donor, Kara. Calm down. Unlike your girlfriend, once upon a time, I’m _not_ trying to sleep with your ex.”

“Oh, um. Right. Yeah. That’s…that’s a good idea, actually. Do you think he’d go for it?” Her heart slowed. She hadn’t been expecting Alex to suggest James’ involvement. It seemed he was destined to be linked to them all, in some convoluted way. Kara could picture the baby, too. Dark, beautiful eyes like Kelly’s. Alex’s wide smile. She wanted to meet this kid.

Alex rose, fetching them some beer (one alien, one human) from the fridge. “I’ll have to talk to Kelly about it first, so don’t get too ahead of yourself.” She sat back down, expertly uncapping the bottles. “But would it be weird? For you? I know you two didn’t date for long…”

Kara heard the unspoken question clearly. No, they hadn’t dated for long. But he and Lena _had_. She knew the breakup hadn’t been the most amicable, but they had largely resolved their differences after Lena saved James’ life.

She sipped her beer. “I’d be fine with it. As for Lena, well, I can’t say for _sure_. But I feel like she’d be supportive. You know she loves you and Kelly, right?”

Alex nodded. “I’m surprised though. You two are basically attached at the hip. You’re telling me you can’t read each other’s minds yet?” She smirked, taking a long swig.

Kara tried to grin in response but it came out crooked. And, of course, Alex noticed right away.

“What? Trouble in paradise?” Alex clearly didn’t think the issue was serious, if there was one.

“Not- not really. I just… I had a flashback today, in the elevator.”

Alex looked at her, waiting for an explanation, as she put a hand on Kara’s shoulder.

“It brought me back to when I was stuck in the Fortress…how she used Kryptonite to keep me there.” She inhaled unevenly. It sounded so much worse when she said it aloud.

Alex put her beer down on the table and turned to face Kara fully. “So…you’re worried about the possibility of something like that happening again?”

“No. No. I’m really not.” And she wasn’t. She knew Lena was truly remorseful. Besides, she’d never done anything even vaguely like that before. Or since. Not without Lex influencing and manipulating her. “I trust her. Completely. But it’s an awful memory to be carrying around.” _I didn’t even know I_ was _carrying it._

Alex looked sympathetic, her brows knitting together in understanding. “You both really fucked each other up. You’re not going to just _get over_ something like that.”

She nodded. This she knew. It was just draining to be navigating such conflicting emotions. She loved Lena. _So much_. But sometimes, when she closed her eyes, she saw green. And not the pacifying shade of her eyes.

Alex gave her shoulder a squeeze. “It’ll be okay. You just need time.”

A knock at the door indicated that their pizza and potstickers had arrived. Kara leapt up to greet the delivery person. Alex excused herself to the bathroom to wash her hands before eating.

Kara laid out their meal on the coffee table, and took the liberty of digging in to her first slice. Alex came back a moment later, looking a bit queasy, just as Kara remembered that she wanted to ask her to go a bit easier on Lena in their training. A rigorous workout was a good thing, but a needlessly pain-filled one was not.

She dove in for her second slice after popping a few potstickers in her mouth. Alex still hadn’t grabbed a plate. “What’s wrong?” She asked around a mouthful of crust.

Alex shook her head slightly and grabbed a slice. “Nothing I want to talk about,” she mumbled. “You two are just…ugh.”

Kara was extremely confused. Before she remembered that she had left the strap out on the bathroom counter, not expecting any visitors. She choked on her beer at the realisation and flushed.

“Do NOT say _anything_. I don’t want to hear it.” Alex held up a hand, blocking Kara from her sightline. “I saw enough yesterday in the changeroom. This is just…this is too much info.”

Kara nodded vigorously in agreement. “Yeah. Yep. I hear you. Um. Let’s talk about something else. Uhh. Um. Have you talked to Eliza lately?” She figured she wouldn’t try bringing up the training _now_. That could wait for a time when Alex wasn’t actively contemplating another mindwipe from J’onn. She’d have to ask Lena what happened in the changeroom.

Alex swallowed her first bite of pizza slowly, like she was afraid it might come right back up. “Yeah. I had a hard time reaching her last week. But she said she’s been really busy with her research.”

“She was just getting over a cold when Lena and I popped in.”

“Oh? She didn’t say anything to me. That must be why she sounded off.” Alex went to grab herself another beer after she finished her first slice.

She seemed fully back to normal when she sat back down. “So you two had fun in Midvale? I’m really sorry I had to bail. It sucks even more, now that the adoption didn’t even pan out.”

Kara smiled, nodding at the memory of their day at the fair. She felt her cheeks warming as she recalled how the evening had ended.

“Ew. Get that look off your face, Kara. Seriously? We can’t even discuss your birthday now without this?” She carried on murmuring, though Kara could hear every word. “First I have to see Lena’s chest, then a strap-on in the bathroom… why? Why is this happening to me?”

Kara felt indignant. They weren’t _that_ gross. Alex just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Hey! Back off.” She shoved Alex lightly in jest, and the elder Danvers shook her head jokingly. “By the way, can you _not_ bruise the crap out of my girlfriend? Her arm looked really sore today.”

Alex looked like she was debating between one of several responses to her request. She shrugged, chugging her beer. “She’ll be a great fighter when I’m done with her. I’ll try not to bruise her up anymore, though.” Then, under her breath, “you do enough of that already.”

A potsticker went down the wrong way at that, and Kara winced her way through a harsh swallow. Blinking to clear her now watering eyes, she tried, again, to change the subject. “What movie are we watching tonight?”

Alex rolled her eyes at her lack of subtlety, but took pity on her sister. “I picked last time, so why don’t we watch something you like? _Paddington 2_?”

Kara grinned. “Perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: vaguenessarda


	16. xvi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch with Cat and another Game Night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6rrTROoZIw  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=908u74OrpQs  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3rduse6gwQOglzbSHkKW7R?si=uWNaONpkSL23-CfKDGuNCw

Kara and Lena were seated across from Cat Grant at a “too fancy to be truly delicious” French restaurant called Merveille that had recently opened. The wait list was typically months-long but Cat had secured them a reservation on less than a week’s notice.

The lunch was going fine so far. Just fine. If not a bit perplexing. Kara was experiencing a form of what humans called “whiplash.” She’d never sat down for a meal with her former boss. Unless you counted the time she’d brought her one too many donuts with her coffee and Cat had insisted Kara get rid of the tempting treats _immediately_. So the thought that she was seated across from the media maven discussing a highlight reel of her published work and catching up on Cat’s stints in a yurt and as POTUS’ press secretary was a lot to handle.

Lena had been offering details about Kara’s reporting whenever the blonde unintentionally omitted something important. The CEO had so far managed to evade Cat’s steely gaze, but it seemed her luck had run out.

Cat speared a bite of her quiche Lorraine with her fork and directed her eyes toward the brunette seated diagonally across from her.

“Miss Luthor…It seems you’ve settled in nicely here. You’ve transformed your family’s company into a profitable endeavour despite some awful PR… Though I’d expect nothing less from Lillian’s daughter. _And,_ barring any evidence to the contrary, you’ve shacked up with our resident hero.”

Kara choked on a bite of her second croque madame, the egg yolk spilling clumsily over her hands. She was about to protest once more over her identity, but Cat was playing with her.

“Oh hush, Keira. You _are_ the city’s _star reporter_. No need to be modest.” Cat’s arched brow silenced her. Their strange dance of identity limbo would continue.

Lena looked between the pair, trying to decide which part of that observation to tackle first. “Seeing as you’ve been keeping up with her articles, Cat, you’ll have noted in the byline that her name is _Kara_.” She sipped daintily at her water; her coq au vin was mostly just broth now.

Kara cringed. Her former boss’ name might be Cat, but when prodded she reacted more like a bear.

“Of course. I apologise, _Kara_. It’s just so difficult keeping up with your many names. Anyway, _Lena_.” She took an ominous draw at her wine, sizing up her opponent. All formalities officially dropped. “I’d _love_ to hear the rationale behind buying my company, then selling it, then buying it again. And don’t try to blame it on your brother. I know you’ve been in charge of the day-to-day since you moved here.”

Kara was confused for a second until she remembered that Crisis had messed slightly with the unfurling of events. Fortunately, most things were the same, save for the timing and method of Lex’s downfall.

Lena appeared composed as ever, and Kara was impressed to hear the steady rhythm of her heart. This was one of her girlfriend’s areas of expertise: Navigating prickly business people.

“Andrea Rojas, the former CEO of Obsidian North, was a close associate of mine at boarding school and I thought her vision would marry well with CatCo’s branding. What I wasn’t aware of was the family matter she had to attend to at home. Now that I’m steering the ship at El-Corp, I think CatCo fits perfectly under our marketing umbrella.”

It was a diplomatic way of covering up the fact that she had initially bought CatCo on a whim to help Kara and had sold it for a grudge against her. But Cat didn’t need to know that. Kara smiled. Everything Lena had said was technically true. And CatCo was thriving now that it was operating under a steadier hand. Even _Snapper_ had good things to say about the purchase.

Cat pursed her lips. “Well, I am not one to withhold a compliment when it’s due.” Kara’s eye twitched slightly at that. “CatCo _is_ faring better than it was under Rojas. But it better stay that way. I’ve got a large chunk of preferred shares and it’s _my_ name on the brand.” 

“Of course, Cat.” Lena relaxed subtly in her seat and dipped a corner of her bread into Kara’s egg yolk. Cat watched the movement with undisguised interest.

“ _Kara_. You never did tell me how the two of you got together? I know you’ve interviewed our _fearless_ CEO a number of times, but, aside from a hint of flirtation between the lines here and there, I didn’t sense much in the way of an actual relationship.”

Lena initially tried to deflect, jumping in. “That’s because Kara is an excellent journalist and would never let her feelings cloud her reporting.”

Cat appeared unconvinced and turned her gaze toward Kara for a response.

Stopping herself from reaching for her glasses, Kara gripped her water glass. How to condense their history into a meet-cute scenario? She mentally excised all of the Supergirl aspects of their relationship (Cat might know, but she didn’t _know_ know) and was still left with a considerable story to work with.

“Um. We started having lunch together, outside of work. And then lunches became dinners, and dinners became game nights, and sleepovers, and then… It all happened naturally. I…The first time I saw her, I thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”

She could feel Lena blushing beside her. Their story as told just now wasn’t exactly accurate, but Kara thought it captured the essentials. One day she walked into Lena Luthor’s office and after that her life was forever changed.

She should have known better than to reveal her romantic nature in front of Cat Grant.

“That sounds like a load of crap.” Cat swirled her wine vigorously, eyes squinting at the pair, trying to pick up on what was being left unsaid. “There’s too much heat between the two of you for that _vanilla_ of a fairy tale.”

Cat was nothing if not perceptive.

Lena took another stab. “Well, Kara left out the part where she hurt me deeply. And I did the same to her. And then we both swallowed our pride and decided to try to be happy, for once.” She exhaled, toying with her fingers. “It’s difficult.”

Cat smirked. She’d gotten what she wanted, like she always did. “Congratulations. And welcome to an adult relationship.” She tipped her glass toward the couple and downed her drink, calling for the server.

~ ~ ~

Cat had lightened up considerably as the trio dined on their blueberry clafoutis. She had even offered Lena a rare genuine smile as she reported that Carter was having the time of his life at camp and that he was reluctant for Cat to bring him home to Metropolis that evening. A true landmark for the shy boy.

They parted cordially, and Cat even bestowed a hug upon Kara, who stood flabbergasted at the gesture.

Lena left her girlfriend at CatCo’s kerb with a kiss. She was going to close out her work day at a regular hour and then head home so she’d have time to prep her apartment for tonight’s game night. She’d stopped flagellating her former self for offering up her place as a venue and decided to throw herself into making sure the space was decked out with the gang’s favourite snacks and drinks.

Her bar was fully stocked, she had the numbers of several of their go-to takeout places programmed into her phone, and she had texted Alex a reminder to bring cups and ice as well as the actual games. Kara would be over early with her own stack of games and to help calm any lingering anxiety Lena would surely be feeling before settling into her hosting duties.

She’d just finished laying out a stack of coasters when she heard a knock at the door. It was a bit early yet, but perhaps Kara had finished her scheduled interview in record time.

Lena opened the door, ready to greet her girlfriend, but was met instead with her ex-boyfriend. James Olsen stood awkwardly for a moment before shifting heavily on his feet. “Hey Lena. Mind if I come in?”

She let the tall man inside and watched as he took in her apartment. It’d been over a year since he had last set foot inside, and Lena had redecorated slightly. Or, Kara had. The couches now housed cozy, functional pillows, and on the corner table sat an intricate sculpture that they’d picked up at a wacky art show in the park. Kara had even gifted her a small painting depicting National City as seen from a Supergirl-high view. Normally Lena avoided knickknacks like the plague, but she wasn’t opposed to keeping mementos of her time spent with Kara. The ginormous stuffed bear in her study was a testament to that. (She’d dubbed him Mr. Cuddles as a placeholder, but the name stuck, and Kara never passed up an opportunity to tease her about it. He was just really damn soft).

She took James’ jacket and offered him a drink as he sat at the kitchen island.

“Sorry I’m so early. I was hoping we could talk before everyone got here.”

It’d been Kelly’s idea to invite her brother for game night. It was the perfect excuse for catching up with the out-of-towner and, Lena suspected, for warming him up for Alex and Kelly’s upcoming request. What didn’t make sense was that he’d need to speak with her. Unless they’d already made their proposal and James wanted her opinion?

Lena slid a bottle of beer toward him and leaned her elbows on the counter, playing the part of bartender.

“So, what’s on your mind?”

He chuckled at her antics. Lena smiled at the sound. She’d always appreciated the deepness of his voice.

He took a swig of his drink, setting it back down before looking up with sudden sincerity. “I was actually hoping we could talk about…us.”

Oh. “Us?”

He nodded, smiling. “Yeah. You and me. Us.”

Lena feared _she_ would need a drink after this, but she resisted the temptation of her overflowing wet bar. “Okay. So…talk.” She wasn’t trying to be combative, but it felt like she was being attacked, somehow. They hadn’t left things in the best of places, and suddenly James had ambled in and cornered her on home turf.

“Right.” He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands on his pant legs in what Lena recognised as a self-soothing gesture. “I was wondering what you thought about us…getting back together.”

Her hands were gripping the hard granite keeping her up. She felt her mouth open and close several times, but no sound came out. James looked at his hands.

“I, uh, I can see you weren’t expecting that.” He rose, looking like he was about to join her on the other side of the island, but she subconsciously shuffled in the other direction—like two south ends of a magnet repelling each other. He sat back down.

“I miss you, Lena. We were good together. And I’ve had a lot of time to think, being away from everything. I messed up by letting you go.”

He looked so heartfelt. She felt like an utter bitch, but she knew she had to shatter the retroactively idealised picture he’d formed of her since his move out of National City.

“James…We didn’t break up over some silly argument. We…we ended things because you didn’t trust me.” She swallowed the hurt that was bubbling up from buried depths. “You questioned my morals. You…you’ve never been able to see past my surname. I _tried_ to love you, but you rejected me when I needed you.” _You pitted me and Supergirl against each other_.

James didn’t try to deny anything she’d said. He reached out to grasp her hand, but she pulled hers away, running a hand through her loose-for-a-change hair. He sighed. “You’re right. But I think I can see more clearly now. It wasn’t fair, the way I treated you.” He looked a bit stumped. “I miss you, Lena.” She felt his eyes peer across her face to her lips before dipping downward slightly. Blink and you’d miss it.

She translated his confession and actions and spoke them aloud. “You mean you miss fucking me.” His brow furrowed at that. She’d forgotten how much he hated her swearing. How _noble_ he was, in all aspects. She pushed her glasses up her nose. Kara loved them. James had never commented on them one way or another. “I’m sorry, James. I didn’t mean to be so crass. I just think you’re projecting some emotion onto me that isn’t there.”

Maybe her callousness had been enough to remind him of just how un-ideal she could be, because he looked deep in thought, considering her words. “I…I could be.” He smiled gently, and she relaxed a bit. James never pushed her. He only ever tried to keep her within his own pre-set bounds. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, so I thought this would be a good time to mention it.” He laughed. “I was even considering moving back, if you were on the same page.”

Lena thought now would be the time to close this chapter of her life for good. And there was a quick and satisfying way to do it. 

“Kara and I are together now.” She said it simply and calmly, like sliding a note across the counter for him to read at his leisure. At first, there was no reaction.

Then James’ face went on a parabolic trajectory, from tacit acceptance, to questioning uncertainty, and back. “That actually makes sense.” He stroked his beardless chin, nodding. “Yeah. I can see it. I mean, the two of you have already survived the worst hit your relationship could possibly take. That’s gotta count for something.”

Silently, she agreed. She watched as James finished off his beer and cast his eyes around the apartment once more, the new additions slotting themselves into his evolving understanding of her. There wasn’t much opportunity for the conversation to devolve further into uneasiness because there was a knock at the door, and then Kara, closely followed by her sister and Kelly, was strolling in, arms full of snacks.

Kara looked pleased to see James, but thrilled to see Lena’s spectacles. “Lena! You’re wearing your glasses!”

~ ~ ~

They’d finished off a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity (which Kara had never understood, let alone succeeded at) before she caught Lena’s eye from her station in the kitchen refilling drinks. They planned to tell the gang their news once everyone had arrived and J’onn just walked in the door, arms laden with homemade treats. A new hobby, he said.

Once Lena settled back into her spot at Kara’s side, the blonde raked a hand through her own hair and caught everyone’s attention with a loud and eloquent “Um.”

Alex gave them an ironic thumbs up and Kelly nodded in support. Kara glanced at Lena, who looked at peace in her yoga pants tucked into fuzzy socks, twirling her lone glass of wine with a smile.

“Uhh. We- Lena and I- we’re girlfriends. I mean, we’re dating. Together.” She raised her hands and interlocked them, but Lena put a patient hand on her arm, silently suggesting she lower them. Yeah. Her explanation didn’t really require a visual aid.

Alex and Kelly were smiling, the former muttering “about time” before tossing a chip into her mouth. J’onn gave them a fatherly, proud grin. Nia was distracted with her phone out, but her head popped up at the news.

“Oh. Finally.” She shrugged and finished her text. At Kara’s confused look, she clarified. “I mean, I’ve known you two were into each other for like…since I’ve met you. All that _pining_ and _gazing_ at each other from across the office. So, like, I’ve been _trying_ to nudge you together… but I gotta say, I was about to give up hope.” She shook her head exasperatedly. “Though, I _did_ dream something that suggested y’all were hooking up. But I don’t want to get into it. Too awkward…” She switched out her empty glass for the one Lena had just brought her and sipped merrily at the fresh Caesar. 

Kara nodded, slightly stunned and subtly looking at Lena who was chuckling at Nia’s revelation. She turned to James, who she thought would have a slightly more satisfying reaction, but he was calmly stacking the cards into their holder so they could move on to the next game.

He caught Kara’s eye. “Oh, Lena told me just before everyone arrived. I’m happy for you two.” He stood and gave Kara a one-armed hug and Lena a peck on the cheek, before putting the game box aside and fetching another drink. 

The only person who was taken aback by their announcement was Brainy. He was staring unseeingly at the coffee table, mouthing calculations. His hands were moving like he was drawing on an invisible chalkboard. Mid-murmur, he paused and a look of understanding crossed his face. He nodded to himself, before remembering that he was socially expected to react to a friend’s major life change.

“This coincides with events that transpire in the future. I am satisfied that you will both fulfill your functions adequately.” The Superfriends stared at him as a collective for a beat, before he remembered himself. “Ah yes, and congratulations.” He raised his glass of ginger ale (he declined anything stronger after falling victim to the tequila of weeks prior). “You are both extremely attractive, intelligent individuals who appear to be genetically and emotionally compatible as mates.” He sipped his glass in cheers, and the rest of the group scrambled to mimic him.

Alex downed her beer, spouting a wry “hear, hear.” She then turned her gaze on Nia, who had stashed her phone by now. “Wait a minute. Nia, did you dream that they got together before you met them or after? How did you know they were into each other?”

Nia looked questioningly at Alex. “No, I didn’t dream anything until after Crisis. It was just _super_ obvious.” She looked at Kelly, who was biting her lip. “Right?”

Alex looked at Kelly, who was nodding now. “Yeah…Sorry babe, I thought you knew…I met you all when James was in the hospital and the first thing I noticed about his ex-girlfriend was how tightly she hugged Kara.”

Alex was turning to look each person in the face, checking that they’d all had at least an _inkling_ about the chemistry. Kara watched the scene unfold, fascinated. Lena was smirking.

“You mean I’m the only person here who was totally dumbfounded by this? I thought Kara was straight!”

Nia laughed loudly at that last point, but tried to cover it with an obvious cough. Brainy shook his head in amusement, adding “Krypton did not adhere to such strict delineations in sexuality. Given that Kara spent her formative years there, it only stands to reason that she would be relatively free from the social customs of Earth that often impose a heteronormative standard.” 

The icing on the cake was J’onn, who was enjoying one of his own homemade brownies. He chuckled good naturedly at Alex around a mouthful of cake, and delivered a devastating burn. “It’s alright Alex. Your—what is it called?— _gaydar_ has always been a bit faulty.”

Lena nearly spat out a mouthful of wine at that remark, unable to contain her laughter. Kara gave J’onn a wide smile and accepted a stack of brownies when he passed the tin around.

Alex sulked for a moment before bouncing back with a shrug. “Better late than never, I guess.”

Lena had recovered from J’onn’s quip, and moved to console the elder Danvers. “It’s alright Alex. It can be hard to see clearly, especially when looking at those closest to you.”

The room hummed in agreement at Lena’s observation. Kara thought about how it rang true for her own relationship with Lena, at times. And for Lena’s relationship with her brother. She’d been unable to spot the maniacal obsession that was waiting to burst forth from him before it was too late. Heck, Kara hadn’t even noticed that _Alex_ was gay. Maybe faulty gaydar ran in the family. 

The silence was broken as Nia spoke up once more. “Fuck. That was, like, really deep Lena.” She’d somehow already drained her second Caesar and was waving her empty glass. “Can I have another pleeeease?”

~ ~ ~

Lena was thankful that she didn’t have to worry about noise complaints. Usually, being the owner of the penthouse would be enough to stave off reports of nuisance, but the group had gotten so rowdy during three rounds of Blurt that Lena might have to bury her disgruntled neighbours’ gripes under her status as building owner.

They’d since moved on to a relatively civil game of Trivial Pursuit. The teams formed themselves naturally, with the couples pairing off and J’onn and James vowing to take them all down.

Lena was quietly thrilled that she and Kara were in the lead with five wedges of their pie complete. It turned out that their shared pool of knowledge spanned all of the game’s categories. Kara took the reins on Entertainment, as well as Sports & Leisure, while Lena had a firmer grasp on Geography and History (she’d grown up on Earth, of course she had an advantage). They both crushed at Arts & Literature and Science & Nature. 

Lena rolled the die and Kara moved their pie into position. They were going for their final wedge, in Sports & Leisure, which was, admittedly, their worst category.

Brainy drew a card. He groaned at what he saw. “Who was the first person to be declared World Chess Champion, after defeating Johannes Zukertot in 1886 at the first official World Chess Championship?”

“Wilhelm Steinitz.” Lena responded quickly, with perfect pronunciation, and didn’t even wait for Brainy’s confirmation before diving into the bag housing the pie wedges. She popped the orange wedge into their pie and received a kiss from Kara when she looked up.

“Whose idea was it to play this game with, like, multiple geniuses in attendance?” Nia complained loudly.

Alex rolled her eyes. “I knew that one too, actually. But you’ve got a point.” She was in a good mood, despite her and Kelly only having three wedges so far.

Brainy seemed distraught as he glanced at the pie belonging to him and Nia. Only two wedges—Entertainment and Science & Nature. “I am still in the process of learning historical and cultural factoids from this time period. I can assure you that, were there a category on mathematics, Nia and I would be wiping the floor with you all.”

Kara laughed, shaking her head. “Sure, sure Brainy. We all know you’re smart. It’s okay. Lena just knows _a lot_. Besides, math is part of science.” She planted another kiss on Lena’s forehead. Lena thought Kara was being quite generous. They’d just about split the answers evenly between them. She was about to point out as much when Brainy replied.

“It ought to be on its own. I have _never_ erred in a calculation. Where is the game that allows me to demonstrate my ability?”

Alex rejoined the conversation after fetching Kelly a refill. “I mean, you _erred_ when you calculated Kara’s odds at saving Lena. Unless she really is just _that_ lucky…” She sipped her beer, wrapping an arm around Kelly’s shoulders.

Brainy frowned, before clarifying. “Actually, the reason for that discrepancy was due to a lack of information. Had I _known_ that Kara's feelings for Lena had evolved into love, I _would_ have rated her odds of success at 86.73%—a marked improvement.”

Kelly leaned into Alex as she spoke. “I’d trust you with any equation, Brainy. And Nia, your pop culture knowledge is kind of frightening…” Nia beamed at the acknowledgement and dived into a discussion about the many fandoms she belonged to and her favourite ships therein.

Lena was half-listening to the conversation now, wondering just how poor the odds had been. She knew they weren’t good, from what Kara had said and from Alex’s reaction to the entire ordeal. But this all sounded like they had been _extremely_ bleak. It had been on her mind since that momentous day back in May, but she hadn’t known how to bring it up, or what her response would or _should_ be. She’d have to ask Kara about it later, when they didn’t have an audience.

The discussion had apparently turned back to Brainy. He spoke with no small amount of relief in his voice. “Needless to say, this revelation has provided me with a much-needed confidence boost. I feared that my mental faculties had abandoned me. So, thank you.” He nodded once more at the new couple, smiling at Nia who squeezed his hand.

Kara twitched next to her, clearly wanting to change the topic. “Okay! Let’s finish them off, Lena. I want to do Game of Life next.”

They rolled again, trying to get into the centre square. Lena watched as Alex and Kelly took the opportunity, with all eyes on Kara and Lena’s final challenge, to ask James for a private word. She pointed them toward the study as they stood. Lena looked back to Kara, who was smiling as the three wandered off. She tucked a golden lock behind her ear and gave her a kiss on the cheek, thankful that they were both alive and well enough to destroy their friends at trivia.

~~~

Once the gang left, Kara pulled Lena into the study. They’d taken to relaxing in the cozy space, away from the TV, the temptation of snacks, and the distraction of Lena’s floor-to-ceiling windows. It felt like their own little world.

They settled in and Lena scanned the bookshelves, thinking about which one she’d choose for next month’s book club meeting. Kara had her face tucked into her neck, while Lena absently combed through her hair.

“Darling?” She spoke quietly, trying not to disturb the peaceful Kryptonian at her side.

Kara snuggled closer. “Hmm?”

“When Brainy was talking about his calculations…well, I was wondering…what exactly _were_ the chances of success? What did he tell you?”

Kara left the nook of her neck. She grabbed one of Lena’s hands and looked toward the window. Lena sensed that she didn’t want to reveal the number. She’d evaded it, months ago in her office at CatCo, and she was pausing with reluctance here.

Lena _really_ wanted to know now. “You said before that they were ‘not great.’ _How_ ‘not great’?”

“Um.” Kara blew out a breath of air. There was no dodging the question; they’d sworn to total honesty and Lena knew Kara would adhere to the promise. “I think it was something like a 3% chance of success…I don’t remember to the decimal. I…I wasn’t really listening closely.”

Lena’s heart stuttered at the minuscule number. She clasped Kara’s hand tightly. She was torn between wanting to berate her for being so reckless and wanting to kiss her senseless, knowing that she’d risked so much just for _her_. It didn’t matter that the odds had actually been much stronger; for all Kara knew at the time, it had been a suicide mission.

She was silent in her shock as she processed the new information. Kara tried to fill the air.

“I _knew_ I would get you, Lena. I couldn’t just- I wouldn’t’ve been able to live with myself if I’d just let you _fly away to die_.” She looked aghast, even just saying those words.

Lena swallowed. This was a lot.

“You risked your life, and the lives of everyone in National City…maybe even a wider radius… Midvale- what about Eliza? And Alex? And…Kara…” She choked out Kara’s name, not knowing what else to say and feeling her throat close around the word.

Kara looked anguished. The crinkle in her forehead was back in full force. “I know. Alex said it was selfish. And she was right.” She looked down at their joined hands. “But…I told you I would always protect you.”

Lena felt a tear escape. Yes, Kara had said that. Years ago. When Lena hadn’t even known she was Supergirl. She hadn’t really believed it at the time. Besides, how much protection could a journalist offer? Other than preventing her publication from dragging Lena and her company through the mud. Lena bit her lip. No, Kara had meant it more broadly. She would protect Lena from harm—harm from others and, even more frequently, harm from herself.

“Kara…that was…You shouldn’t’ve…” She gave up trying to articulate the overwhelming swell of emotion rising in her chest. “Please promise me you won’t make that choice again, if it comes to it.”

Kara wrapped her arms around her, and Lena felt herself melt into her warmth automatically—a conditioned response at this point.

“I don’t know if I can promise that, baby. But I don’t think…Well, I _hope_ I won’t have to do anything _that_ dangerous again.” 

Lena swallowed hard. It felt like she was in an impossible position. She had to convince Kara that she wasn’t worth all that. It was an incredible onus. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how Kara must feel every day of her life. The responsibility inherent in her powers was tremendous. Short of sabotaging their relationship and moving across the world, she couldn’t think of an appropriate course of action to make Kara reconsider her policy. Even then, she would probably come save her, somehow.

“Lena…” Kara paused, and Lena was afraid she would say something else that would crush her.

Each assertion of love was devastating to Lena. It was a good kind of devastated though—like once she recovered from the initial shattering, she’d be stronger for it and a bit more whole than before. Like she was being rebuilt from the ground up with better blueprints and sturdier materials.

“Lena, I didn’t mean to upset you…with…with all this stuff. You shouldn’t have to worry about it.”

Lena withdrew a bit to frame Kara’s sad face with a hand. “ _You_ shouldn’t have to worry about it either, darling. Please…please don’t apologise for loving me. I’ll just- I’ll have to invent some new technology that can save the world _for_ you…if that’s what it takes.” She smiled weakly and Kara gave a watery laugh. “Should be easy enough.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you.” Kara kissed her softly. “There is something you can do for me now, though…”

Lena quirked an eyebrow at her and Kara chuckled.

“No, nothing like that. I was wondering if you’d play me something on the piano…Seems like a waste for it to just be sitting here, untouched. It’s probably sad.” Kara pouted exaggeratedly and Lena felt her initial defensive reaction to the request fade away to nothingness.

She disentangled herself from Kara and moved to sit at the piano.

“I’m warning you, I haven’t played in ages and my technique is probably shit.” She moved the bench back a bit so her feet were placed comfortably over the pedals. She felt Mr. Cuddles' unseeing stare from across the room intermingled with Kara's supportive gaze. She didn’t have much in the way of sheet music anymore, but she could probably still play some of the pieces she’d done for exams. Her fingers would remember.

It’d been over a decade since she’d practiced any technique. The last time she had sat down to play a piece, around the time she’d first moved in, she’d found herself sobbing over the keyboard while sight-reading “I Dreamed a Dream” from _Les Misérables_. The hyperbolic response had made her wary of the instrument. Even more wary than she already was. It reminded her that Lillian had wanted her to play a more “rigid” instrument. Something less emotionally tinged. The truth was that she’d never once gotten carried away while playing, not since her first recital at age six. She’d flawlessly played through her repertoire to thunderous applause from the room. But when she had turned her head, scouting for her father, he was nowhere to be seen. 

She looked at Kara one last time before turning to the expanse of black and white before her. Her fingers set themselves up on a familiar pattern of keys, and she began. She played “Milonga del ángel,” a rhythmically challenging piece that had taken her ages to memorise. Its arching, aching phrases gave the impression of yearning, an unfinished or questioning quality. She played more _rubato_ than the piece called for, but her quickening and slowing of the tempo felt natural in the moment. Her fingers caved in slightly during some of the runs and a couple of her chords were unintentionally arpeggiated. She accidentally added a sharp after the key change and it rang out harshly in her ears, but she continued, despite all the mistakes. She’d been trained well. If you acted like nothing was wrong, the odds were that your audience wouldn’t notice a minor flaw.

The piece was melancholic but beautiful, and when she finished, she took a moment to register the fact that her mind had been blank of all but the music while she played—something other musicians spoke of, but that she’d never been able to achieve.

Lena looked over to where Kara was seated and saw that she was wiping away tears. Lena rejoined her on the loveseat as Kara clapped at the performance, smiling despite her wet eyes.

“That- that was beautiful, Lena. You’re so talented.” She was still wiping her face with her sleeve. “I think that was the first time in…I don’t know, in _years_ that I’ve just been able to focus on one sound, and not hear everything going on out there.” She gestured at the window, sniffling slightly.

Lena watched her carefully, trying to assess Kara’s reaction. They’d been a bit awkward when discussing Supergirl or therapy-related topics since the incident at CatCo. This seemed like a step in the right direction. She leaned in and captured her lips briefly in thanks, before moving to kiss her tear-stained cheeks.

She’d been too harsh with herself, as usual. Kara hadn’t heard any of her slip-ups. Or if she had, they hadn’t ruined her enjoyment of the piece. And she’d been listening closely—so closely that she was able to block out the rest of the city. Kara saw the piece for what it was. The flaws were inconsequential when compared to the beauty of the whole.

Lena wanted to acknowledge Kara’s kindness. She wanted to thank her for her ability to continually see what others might overlook. It was one of her greatest qualities, in Lena’s opinion. But words failed her. Kara was speaking again, anyway.

“Molly said that Crisis had a toll on me. It never used to be this hard to stay ‘present.’” Kara quoted the word with sarcasm. “She thinks that because I never dealt with losing Krypton the first time…she thinks that’s why seeing the world get destroyed again is dredging everything up. Except it’s worse this time. _Because_ I ‘repressed’ it. Does that make sense?”

Lena nodded. Kara’s eyes were such a clear blue right now. Her stomach ached at the mere mention of all that Kara had lost.

Kara hugged her closely.

Lena breathed in deeply. “Do you talk to her about what you saw, that time in the elevator? About…how I might be dredging bad things up for you, too?” She closed her eyes, fearing the response.

Kara tickled the tips of her eyelashes, coaxing her eyes to open. Her face was serious. “Lena, I don’t think you understand how much you’re _helping_ me. I’m working through a bunch of stuff, but it would be a _lot_ harder without you.” She smoothed a thumb across her cheek, frowning. “Alex and Kelly and Nia and J’onn, they all help too. But _you’re_ the one who’s here with me now. You’re always here, when I need you.”

“Except when I used Kryptonite on you. And abandoned you. I wasn’t there, then.” She pulled herself away, emotion rising in her chest.

“I forgave you for that.” Kara was staunch on this fact, every time it came up.

“But did you, though? It comes up in your flashbacks… It was _terrible_ , Kara.”

“Lena…yeah, it hurt. But when I think of you, that’s not what comes to mind. It came up in the elevator because I was claustrophobic. Not because I’m afraid of _you_.”

She tried to spot any hint of uncertainty in Kara’s eyes. When she couldn’t find it, she exhaled, relieved. She felt foolish, to be constantly asking for reassurance. She might as well take Kara through the piece she just played and ask her if she heard the spot where she played a G instead of an A. Culling through details of the past was useful only up to a certain extent. Obviously, Kara was actively choosing to forgive her her trespasses. She ought to follow her lead and be more lenient with herself.

Lena allowed herself to move back into Kara’s embrace, and whispered into her chest. “Okay. I’m sorry. I just wish...I _really_ wish things had been different last year.”

Kara stroked her hair. “Me too.”

~ ~ ~

Kara had blushingly requested that Lena put her talented fingers to work shortly after that. They were nestled in bed now. Lena had just drifted off to sleep and Kara was about to join her when she heard a commotion in the distance. Lena’s apartment was near the financial sector of town. Kara listened as a group of four, maybe five, robbers broke into the city’s largest bank. They had tripped an alarm, so police officers would likely be there shortly, even as she heard them clambering into a getaway vehicle.

She warred with herself, debating whether to don her suit and fly out to stop them. She considered her options. This wasn’t a life or death scenario. This was a financial crime that would likely be resolved as soon the police caught up to the thieves (which would be sometime soon, judging by the sounds of the sirens being dispatched across the area). There was no real victim here, even if they weren’t caught. The bank would survive. Through insurance policies, or other means. And its users would be protected.

Kara thought of Lena. She had all the money she could possibly ever need and then some. But what she needed wasn’t the billions of dollars in her bank account, it was the knowledge that Kara wouldn’t abandon her after another emotionally charged evening.

Kara hated the image of Lena waking up to an empty bed in the middle of the night. Even if she would quickly figure out that she was away on Supergirl duties, Kara knew Lena’s own self-consciousness would force her to contemplate whether or not she’d left for another reason. They were still reeling in the aftermath of everything that had transpired last year. The last thing Kara wanted to do was to add unnecessary doubt to the mix.

She settled herself more tightly around Lena’s sleeping form and breathed deeply. She stayed awake listening to the altercation once the police apprehended the culprits. She longed for a time when she would be able to rest without this assurance. She knew that this was not something that required Supergirl. This wasn’t even something Alex, in her vigilantism, would bother with. She tried to push the nagging guilt away.

Lena stirred briefly, turning in her arms. She was groggy as she spoke, looking up into her wide-awake face with bleary eyes. “Kara? S’wrong?”

Kara kissed her soundly, pulling back before Lena could even respond through her fatigue. “Nothing’s wrong, baby. Go back to sleep.” 

Lena relaxed easily and fell off into slumber once more. Kara let her own eyelids get heavy as she breathed in the scent of Lena’s hair. She was where she needed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, thanks for reading. This was the last of the chapters I had completed before school started back. I'm partially done chapter 17 but the forthcoming chapters will likely take longer than usual to post (law school is kicking my ass, currently). My goal was to have this fic done before the end of 2020 but I'm not sure how realistic that is at this point. The rest of the story is already plotted out in quite some detail in voice note form--I just need time to write it down! Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed what I have so far and stick with me for the rest (which tbh is A LOT and may exceed 30 chapters).
> 
> ***  
> Editing this endnote just to say: I STAND WITH MELISSA


	17. xvii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a charity gala just because

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yawl! Thank you for those who have been patiently awaiting an update and welcome to anyone new who stumbles upon this experiment. I hope to keep things rolling while I have time over winter break to write. We've got a long way to go yet. Please enjoy and leave a comment if the mood strikes. Happy holidays everyone xx 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkeOoWquAqk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHp-j4XP6sc

Lena was dressed to the nines in a three-piece black suit. It was easier to navigate sycophantic business execs or, in this case, potential donors to the Luthor Children’s Hospital, when she had a power suit to protect her against untoward gazes. This evening she was also gifted with the presence of her girlfriend, who was decked out in a long-sleeved, lacy red dress. It cut off mid-thigh, and Lena was having difficulty keeping her own eyes from drinking in the seemingly endless expanse of toned leg. She loathed hosting galas, but this was a necessary one for obtaining funding for the cancer wing of the hospital. The event was made more palatable with Kara by her side. Alex and Kelly had even tagged along—for the free food and drink, mainly.

The quartet was currently chatting around a high table. Lena had just been rescued by Kara after an investor wouldn’t stop chatting her ear off. They’d devised a system of signals for the event. A tug at her earlobe meant she needed the buffer of the cheerful reporter. A hand at her neck meant SOS.

Kara was enjoying a mini slider or six, while Alex and Kelly sipped their wine. They were discussing the potential for yellow sun devices. The grenades that Winn had helped develop worked in a pinch, but Lena knew she could come up with something more practical for Kara and Kal-El.

Lena snatched a glass off a server’s tray, offering it to Kara as the blonde finished her sliders. She turned back to Alex. “There might be a way to actually _infuse_ yellow sun power into the supersuit. Maybe through some kind of absorption, stored in the fabric itself?”

Alex looked thoughtful. “And what about a way to trigger the yellow sun grenade without someone actually having to throw it? If she could just flick a switch or something she wouldn’t have to depend on backup.”

Kelly nudged Alex slightly, nodding her head at Lena. “Babe, didn’t you want to talk to Lena about upgrades to your own suit?”

Alex looked slightly embarrassed by the call out, but thankful that she now had an excuse to segue into her own gear. “I wanted to pick your brain on enhancing the armour…I’d feel more comfortable going out with at least a bit more padding.”

“Absolutely, we can brainstorm on Monday. I think I have a block free in the morning—I’ll have to check with Jess.” Lena briefly looked around, trying to see if her assistant was anywhere in the vicinity. The venue was quite spacious, and the turnout was fantastic. So, of course, the diminutive woman was nowhere to be seen. She sipped at her glass, looking to Kara. “What do you think about helping us with the yellow sun tech, darling? Your input would be invaluable. Do you think Kal-El would be amenable to helping as well?”

Kara dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. “Of course I’ll help. I think Kal is still on Argo, though,” she said, frowning.

“Sure seems like a long vacation.” Alex sounded slightly bitter and Lena couldn’t help but agree with her tone.

Kara changed the topic. “So…are you two ever going to tell us what James said?”

Alex and Kelly glanced at each other before breaking out into matching grins.

“He said yes. He was really touched that we asked, actually.” Kelly was beaming and Lena reached out to squeeze her hand in a show of support.

Alex tenderly kissed the side of her girlfriend’s head. “We’re going to get things going pretty fast. It could take a few tries for it to work.”

“Congratulations!” Kara was smiling so wide that Lena couldn’t help but imitate the expression. “If you need any ideas for names, might I suggest Kara Jr.?”

Alex snorted. “We’ll add it to the list. Seriously, though. Thanks Kara. We might not have come up with this so quickly without you.” 

Lena quirked an eyebrow at Kara. “Discussing methods of creating offspring in your spare time?”

Kara blushed and shrugged. She met Alex’s eyes and the two set down their glasses. “Let’s do another sweep.”

Lena rolled her eyes. She had hired more than enough security staff for the evening, but the Danvers sisters evidently thought that her force of 75 was insufficient. They’d been doing occasional spot checks and patrols all night. Though, to be fair, Lena’s track record for this kind of thing was spotty at best.

Kelly looked lovingly after her girlfriend as she strolled off into the crowd, trying to look imposing in her black dress. “Can’t really blame them, can you Lena? I heard there were attacks at several of your previous galas.”

“I suppose not. Though I was aware of the danger beforehand at those. I’m not expecting anything tonight.” She grabbed a couple of sliders from a passing server. Kara had made sure she had a full dinner beforehand, but it was getting late and she needed something to offset the wine she’d imbibed. Having to refill her glass was her go-to conversation escape manoeuvre.

“So, you must be so excited about the prospect of a baby. I never had any doubt that James would agree. He’s a good man.”

Kelly smiled. “Yes, it’s daunting, but we’re ecstatic. James is excited too. I, um, I’m glad to hear you say that about him. I know it was rocky between you two, for a while.”

Lena munched on her slider before responding. She didn’t exactly want to discuss James with his sister, but this would be a good chance to clear any hard feelings. “We didn’t break up because I thought poorly of him, Kelly…We disagreed on certain values, and there was a lot of distrust between the two of us.” She shrugged, looking at her fingers on the table. “I think it worked itself out for the best.”

“You know, I’ve tried to picture the two of you together and I just can’t see it.” Kelly shook her head slightly, gazing off toward where Alex was pacing. “The things he said about you don’t really match up to how I see you, now that I know you.” She looked back at Lena. “I guess that’s a good indication of how the relationship was.”

“Hmmm. Not too far off.” She swirled her nearly empty glass. “You know, I just realised the book I chose for this month is about motherhood, but it’s… quite bleak…”

Kelly chuckled. “I know. I’m halfway through already. I’m always glad for the breaks from Paula’s illness when Allende delves into Chilean politics, but on the whole it’s really moving. Paula’s husband is _so_ devoted to her. It’s really something.”

Lena knocked back the last dregs of her wine. “Imagine having someone love you _that_ much, but not be aware enough to truly appreciate it.”

Kelly gave her a knowing smile, looking pointedly in the direction of the Danvers sisters who were splitting up now to monitor a wider area.

Lena felt warm. It was one thing for her to be constantly flooded with Kara’s love and affection, struggling to capture it all and find a place for it in her shrivelled heart. It was another altogether to have someone else witness it and call it out for what it was. It made the whole thing feel more real.

Lena was being dragged away by a harried Jess before she could devise an appropriate response. Looking back at the dark-haired woman and the way she gracefully waved her off, Lena realised that Kelly probably didn’t need the same external validation. She knew Alex loved her, and that was enough.

~ ~ ~

Kara and Alex split up so they could scan the perimeter of the venue and then work their way back toward the centre, where they’d meet up and share their recon. It felt like something out of a spy movie—a bit silly but cool—and if it meant that Lena would be safer, Kara was glad to go along with Alex’s hypervigilance.

It was fairly difficult to pick out a threat amongst a crowd of rich people, Kara discovered. Everyone acted like they had something to hide. She used her x-ray vision on a few shifty men, looking for weapons, but came up with nothing. The worst thing her hearing picked up was a small group of people insulting Lena for having a “bleeding heart” and for lacking in business acumen. She frowned in their direction before rejoining Alex at their agreed upon meeting point.

Alex had nothing to report either, and they both breathed a small sigh of relief. The redhead started to make her way back to Kelly, who was now chatting with Andrea Rojas. Lena must have been dragged off again to talk shop. Kara put out a hand to slow her sister.

“I’m really glad about James, Alex. You must be so happy.”

Alex smiled, slowing so they could chat privately in the crowded space. “I mean, there are still of lot of what-ifs, but I feel like…it could actually work out…for once.”

Kara could sense her hesitancy. There were, of course, no guarantees that the IUI would work. But she felt in her bones that Alex was going to be a mother. It was only a matter of how and when.

They both paused to grab several skewers of potstickers from a passing server who looked slightly alarmed at his now-empty tray.

“We’re getting a head start though. It works out with my cycle to get the IUI done next week. So even if it doesn’t work right away, we’ll know pretty soon.” Alex was munching steadily as she spoke. Kara was shocked.

“That’s…that’s really soon. Wow!” She was taken aback, but this was something Alex had been wanting for years now. Kara would simply have to readjust, once again. It had been hard enough when her sister had starting dating seriously, and now she’d have another life in her care. Since Kara had arrived on Earth, 90% of Alex’s attention had been on _her_. She was nostalgic for their time as kids, yes, but mostly she was overwhelmingly proud and excited for what was to come in her sister’s life.

Alex spotted Kara’s misty eyes and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey. No crying. If you start crying, _I’ll_ start crying, and then no one in this place will believe that we’re tough and they’ll try to mess with your girlfriend.” She sniffled as she spoke and Kara laughed, pulling her in for a hug.

“You’re not tough at all and your kid is gonna know it.”

Alex gave a wobbly smile, eyes automatically going to where Kelly was standing with her former boss. “Let’s get back.”

~ ~ ~

Lena had her most charming smile plastered on her face as she listened to the group of businesspeople surrounding her drone on about politics. She might disagree with the general leanings of the group, but the sacrifice of having to subject herself to distasteful social views would be worth it if she could get a crack at their pocketbooks. She sipped at her drink, only just controlling an eyeroll at a weak joke from Johnson. She was about to tug at her earlobe, signalling for Kara to come in and charm their way out of the situation when she was rescued by an unusual saviour.

Lillian approached the group, towering over Johnson and his business partner. With the added height of her heels, she made quite an imposing figure. Lena raised her eyebrows at the sudden entrance, but managed to keep the conversation going, despite the slightly awed expressions of her audience.

“Hello mother. I was just telling our friends here about the importance of the new wing for El-Corp’s research.” She arched an eyebrow, inviting Lillian to jump in.

“Of course you were, Lena. It’s just like my daughter to forget the bottom line.” Lillian’s tone was impatient as she turned to the group. “Yes, this research is important, but why should _you_ bear the burden of backing it? You’re successful businessmen and women, and you haven’t gotten to where you are by throwing money at every liberal cause in existence. Think of it as an investment…”

Lena zoned out slightly as Lillian went into pitch mode. Naturally, she also knew the ins and outs like the back of her hand. Lillian would play the cutthroat role tonight, rather than try to push back against the tide of public opinion about her soft-hearted daughter. Presenting two stark sides of the coin in this way would allow the less charitably minded investors to appear altruistic by batting down Lillian’s purely fiscal rationale, and provide those actually interested in the project with sound financial reasoning to present to their respective boards.

She caught the eyes of Kate Kane, who had joined the group mid-chat, and gave her an acknowledging smile. At least she could count on Batwoman’s support, it seemed.

The group dispersed shortly after, with Lena receiving seven firm handshakes and one amused smirk from Kate. The heiress asked after Kara and then made her way over to the bar. Just like that, Lena was left alone with Lillian, who she hadn’t even been certain would make an appearance at the event. It seemed they would have a brief respite before the next wave.

“I see you decided to show up after all.” Lena looked up to see her mother watching her carefully.

“Well, I couldn’t just leave _you_ to rub elbows with these people. Business has never been your strong suit despite your MBA. You just don’t have the personality for it—too sensitive, I think.” Lillian sipped her drink thoughtfully, looking around the venue with a critical eye. Lena elected to take her assessment as a compliment rather than as the dig she knew it was intended to be.

“You might be right. But I’ve managed well enough thus far.” She crossed her arms and met Kara’s eyes from across the space where the blonde was chatting with her sister, Kelly, and, for some reason, Andrea. Kara quirked her head in question but Lena shook her head subtly. She could dispatch with Lillian on her own if she needed to. She had years of practice under her belt.

Lillian observed the interaction and got straight to the point, as usual. “You’re here with Miss Danvers. Are you two together then?” Lena nodded, and awaited some form of criticism or warnings against a CEO with her degree of visibility publicly carrying on with another woman.

“Hm.” Lillian looked contemplatively over her, and Lena raised her chin, trying to exploit her tailored suit for all its worth in making her appear composed. “I didn’t realise you had an affinity for women. _Or aliens, for that matter…_ ” The last bit was whispered under her breath but Lena felt the words hit her with the force of Lillian’s persistent bigotry.

“Don’t be ridiculous mother. I was literally expelled from boarding school for being caught in another girl’s room at night.”

“Oh, I remember that humiliating incident. The money it took to keep it quiet was _exorbitant_. Really, how foolish to be engaging in such activity at an _Irish Catholic_ school.” Lillian shook her head, but she seemed to be treating the memory with found annoyance rather than as a long-lasting source of shame. “I had just assumed you were doing it to spite me for sending you away, not because you were an actual lesbian. I haven’t exactly been privy to your relationships, you know.” She reappraised Lena with an almost approving glance.

“Well, it’s not as though there have been many.” She looked back over at Kara’s table, where the group was still awkwardly chatting with Andrea. Kara gave her a tight-lipped smile. Lena wondered if she was listening to her conversation from across the room. She didn’t normally invade certain spheres of privacy but dealing with Lillian could be considered an exceptional circumstance.

Lillian noticed her eyeline. “Is that why you and Andrea had that falling out? Unreciprocated feelings, perhaps?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I’m attracted to every woman I’ve come into contact with, mother.” Lillian didn’t have to know that she _had_ harboured a slight crush on Andrea when she’d first transferred from St. Columba’s.

“It just seems that you have a pattern of being hurt and then permanently casting those who hurt you away. It must make it quite hard to build relationships.”

“And what the hell would you know about it?” Lena snapped back at her suddenly all-too-interested adoptive mother. “The only person you’ve ever given a fuck about is yourself.” She drained her dwindling glass and grabbed another from a perfectly timed server. “Oh, and _Lex_.”

Lillian pursed her lips. “I’m just trying to express an interest in my daughter’s life. Is that a crime now?”

“Since when has something being a crime stopped you from partaking in it?” Lena shook her head, ready to bail on the conversation. That’s when she sensed someone behind her. She acted on pure instinct and on the adrenaline that coursed through her, comingling with her fury at Lillian. She sidled to the left, dodging what was apparently a _fucking knife_ , grabbed her would-be attacker’s arm, and twisted until he was forced gracelessly to the ground.

Kara was there in a second. Lena had just enough bandwidth to worry about her use of super speed before she was gathered in her girlfriend’s arms. Alex was handcuffing the perpetrator a moment later and security hauled him off as he yelled out, cursing Lena for her “betrayal” of Lex. It seemed not all of his followers has disbanded then. She wondered at the fact that the redhead apparently still carried handcuffs with her, but was quickly distracted by Kara who was pulling her into one of the smaller rooms that abutted the main hall. She heard Lillian reaming out the nearest security guard and was grateful for the distraction. Their escape from the scene was largely unnoticed.

~ ~ ~

Kara pulled Lena into an unused room. Her heart was still racing from witnessing the attempted assault. And for…other reasons…

Once safely inside, she pressed the shorter woman up against the door and kissed her fervently, hands clutching tightly at her waist. Lena’s lips were slightly parted in a gasp of surprise, and Kara took advantage, deftly probing through the hot cavern of her mouth. She didn’t pull back for several moments of thorough exploration. When she did, she leaned her forehead against Lena’s as they breathed each other in.

“What was that for?” Lena’s own hands were trailing none-too-lightly down Kara’s sides, one hand coming to a halt so that her fingers teased at the hem of her dress.

“You…That… He—That was so hot.” The image of Lena easily dodging and disarming the assailant played again in her mind. She looked like a sexy Bond-type in her suit—not a hair out of place as she moved swiftly out of harm’s way. After Kara’s initial sheer terror, the visual had given way to arousal at her girlfriend’s confident actions.

“Oh yeah?” Lena’s mouth shifted into a slow smile that made something in Kara _throb_ , and she rejoined their lips as she walked the blonde backwards, hands firm at her hips. Kara felt her back hit an uneven surface and she groaned in frustration as she realised there was not nearly enough of Lena’s skin available to her hands and mouth. She fumbled clumsily with the button of Lena’s slacks and let her mouth drift along the familiar arc of her long neck. The damn suit was sexy, but not exactly ideal for what she had planned.

Lena hummed lowly before stilling Kara’s hands. Her green eyes looked into Kara’s before trailing deliberately over her lips and down over the rest of her body. Kara felt a burning path in the wake of the perusal, and it was made all the more intense as she suddenly found those same eyes peering up at her from a more acute angle. Lena had shifted slowly down her form to kneel in front of her, chest heaving despite the brevity of the journey.

The change in position switched something in Kara. Seeing her ultra-powerful CEO girlfriend on her knees in a pristine, bespoke suit made her heart stop and start again at a new, steadier pace. Lena’s expansive pupils were pure liquid as she gazed up, and Kara couldn’t help but to cup her perfect face in her hand. The brunette pressed forward, fingers making their destination known as they crept warmly up Kara’s thighs. It was clear what she had in mind.

Kara rubbed her thumb over Lena’s red lips, wondering in awe at the display. She then remembered their semi-public setting. She had half a mind to simply solder the door shut with her heat vision, but that would draw unnecessary questions.

She pulled away slightly, causing Lena’s brow to furrow, and Kara had to bite her lip to cancel the smile that always arose as a result of that adorable expression.

“Wait here.” Her voice came out with an authoritative ring, though she didn’t bother to question it as she heard Lena’s breathing quicken in response. She pushed off from the bookshelf behind her and moved at a human pace over to the door to lock it. It took super strength to walk slowly back over. Lena hadn’t moved an inch, but Kara could hear her heart thrumming in anticipation.

Once reunited, Kara ran her hands gently through Lena’s hair, delighting at the silky strands of her ponytail. She let her fingers find their way down to caress her face and neck, massaging slightly at her temples. A thumb found its way back to her parted mouth and Kara took the opportunity to further smudge the red shade that had already begun to bleed away from Lena’s lips. Lena took the digit into her mouth, sucking lightly, and stared up at Kara with a gleam in her eyes, inciting her to do more. Kara was jolted suddenly with an image of Lena performing the same act on a strap-on. It shouldn’t have worked for her, but it did, and Kara swiftly removed her thumb, ready to accept the challenge Lena had tendered.

“What do you think all those people out there would say if they saw Lena Luthor on her knees in front of lowly reporter Kara Danvers?” Kara continued to trace over swollen lips as Lena sucked in a shaky breath. There was no verbal response, however, so Kara carried on voicing her thoughts. “No one would believe how good you’re being, waiting so patiently for me to use your mouth.” 

Lena let out a strangled noise and her fingers moved with purpose up and under Kara’s dress, stopping just as they brushed up against the wet fabric of Kara’s underwear. She breathed in heavily through her nose in anticipation and gazed back up.

“Take them off.” Kara willed her voice to stay steady. She didn’t want to ruin the mood she had tenuously created. She knew Lena liked her to take charge, but it was still a fairly new dynamic for her.

Lena hurried to help her out of the soaked lace, and placed the delicate item in the inner pocket of her jacket for safe keeping. She licked her lips as she set her eyes on her bared prize. The unconscious movement had Kara clenching in anticipation. She didn’t want to draw this out any longer. She couldn’t. Lena seemed to sense her sudden, overwhelming need because she didn’t seek permission again, just dived in.

Kara let out a surprised gasp at the first pass of Lena’s agile tongue and hastened to lift her skirt so she could see. She leaned heavily back against the shelf and widened her stance, and was rewarded with a moan emanating from her girlfriend, who was now looking straight up into her eyes as she moved.

Kara struggled to maintain focus as Lena’s lips and tongue worked her core. She had to maintain control over her strength, but it was proving especially difficult tonight. She felt the wood of the shelf creak under her grip and she recalibrated, letting out a low moan as Lena’s hands squeezed hard against her ass. Lena seemed wholly undaunted as she made a show of fastening her lips around Kara’s swollen clit, even going so far as to arch a perfectly sculpted brow as Kara’s head fell back. 

They had a strict no penetration policy when no red sun tech was present (for obvious reasons), but Kara felt Lena test that limit as her tongue teased over her entrance. She dipped in shallowly, eyes never straying from Kara’s, and the blonde quivered, willing her body to cooperate. Kara could feel Lena probing further and she hastened to regain control by pulling her back with a firm hand in her hair. This was apparently the right thing to do, as Lena’s eyes closed briefly with a low hum. She pulled back entirely and spoke for the first time in a long while.

“What do you need, Kara?” Lena’s voice was raspy and her lips were shiny and _red_ and Kara could hardly breathe at the sight of her.

Kara flexed her fingers in Lena’s dishevelled hair and tried to voice her desires.

“Just…Just open… and—” Lena quickly complied, and Kara tentatively ground herself down onto the flat surface of her tongue. “O-okay?”

Lena pulled back just enough to kiss her inner thigh before getting back into position, eyes set. “Yes, darling. Fuck my face.” 

Kara groaned at that, but had no time to feel ashamed at her reaction as she was already moving steadily against Lena’s mouth, one hand still tight in her hair. At least this way she had control and could regulate the amount of strength she used. It wasn’t until Kara dared to pick up the pace, sensing her own impending climax, that she noticed Lena’s hand had disappeared down her own pants and was moving rapidly in time with her movements.

The idea that Lena was just as turned on by this as she was made the action all the more effective, and it wasn’t long before Kara was crying out in completion. Lena followed shortly after with a comparatively controlled whimper, but did not move away. She lapped tenderly over Kara’s folds, licking away the resulting juices with quiet satisfaction.

They each took a moment to catch their breath before Kara pulled her girlfriend up and proceeded to kiss her senseless. Lena laughed lightly at her antics and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe at the lower half of her face. Her lipstick was _everywhere_ , including on Kara’s inner thighs, they discovered, and it took a concerted effort to remove, reapply, and readjust so that they both appeared presentable once again.

Kara held Lena from behind as she righted her sleek ponytail, placing careless kisses all over her neck. “Next time I want you in a dress.”

Lena spun in the cradle of her arms and smirked. “That’s the point of a power suit, darling. Makes it harder for people to fuck with me.”

Kara pouted. “Yeah, ‘people.’ Not _me_! I need access at all times, please.”

“Like some flimsy fabric could stop _you_ , Supergirl,” Lena chuckled, stepping backward toward the door. “Besides, I owe you dozens, probably.”

Kara pulled her back by the arm. “You owe me nothing.” She kissed her soundly, making sure not to smudge the newly applied lipstick.

Lena sighed. “Kara, I have to go. They’ll be expecting me to address the hall.” She pulled back, clutching Kara’s hands.

“I know, baby. They’ll understand. I was just _consoling_ you after that frightening attack.”

“Ah, ‘consoling.’ Is that what that was?”

“Mhm.” Kara nodded sagely. “I’ll _console_ you more later. You seem pretty shaken up, and I know just the thing to help.”

Lena shook her head, amused. She unlocked the door and turned back before opening it to press a kiss to Kara’s cheek. “You know, if we’re making outfit demands, I’d like to request Kara Danvers in a suit at my next gala.”

Kara stared. Hm. It’d never occurred to her to try out a suit, but Lena was looking at her with _that_ look. The brunette smirked. “I can have my tailor fit you. Not that I’m complaining about this lovely dress.” She reached down to pinch her still-bare ass and Kara squeaked.

“Um, Lena? Can I have my underwear back?”

But Lena was already pulling her out the door. They made it halfway down the corridor leading back to the main room, Kara giggling at the impropriety of it all and taking the opportunity to kiss Lena firmly before they were back in view of the crowd.

They pulled apart just as they heard an unwelcome and, unfortunately, familiar voice.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Lena grumbled under her breath.

“Oh hey! There you are Miss Luthor!” William Dey had emerged from god knows where with a photographer following grumpily behind. “I was hoping to catch you this evening. You know, maybe get a quote and a quick photo? How about one with the two of you? Gal pals at the gala?”

Kara was confused. “You’re here for CatCo? I thought Snapper would send Nia…” Kara herself was officially off of any El-Corp business due to her “overwhelming bias for Miss Luthor.”

William nodded, unphased by the daggers Lena was throwing at him with her eyes. “Nia’s in Parthas visiting her dad this weekend. So here I am.” He grinned and spread his arms as if he couldn’t believe his luck. “So, about that photo? I’m thinking one against the wall? The lighting is excellent here—you look stunning Kara.”

To Kara’s surprise, Lena pushed forward to comply. “I agree. You look positively _radiant_ , darling. It would be a shame not to capture the moment.” She tugged Kara along and wrapped an arm dangerously low around her waist. The photographer raised his camera, but Lena interrupted. “Oh, actually, Mr. Dey, could you also take one with my phone?”

Lena reached into her jacket and unsubtly brandished Kara’s pink underwear in plain view of William and the photographer. “Oops, wrong pocket. Here we are…” She handed a stunned William her unlocked phone and stepped back with what could only be described as a Luthorian grin.

Kara felt the blood rush to her cheeks as it became clear William had _finally_ taken the hint. She tried not to look too bashful as the flash of the camera went off. She heard the photographer chuckling to himself, “That’s some gay shit.” 

William returned Lena’s phone and turned to Kara with a bemused look. “ _That’s_ why you weren’t interested in me. You’re _gay_. It makes sense now.”

“Good lord,” Lena muttered, looking away from the oncoming train wreck.

Kara blinked in disbelief. “So, to you that’s the only fathomable explanation for why I wouldn’t want to date you?”

William simply shrugged. “Well, yeah.” He was already turning away back to the main hall.

Kara could sense that any kind of nuanced conversation about sexuality and dating was beyond reach for William and angrily bandwagoned onto the available escape route. “Well, fine then! I’m gay for Lena Luthor!”

William looked slightly alarmed as he trotted off, jolting at her outburst.

Lena sighed. “Let’s get you back to Alex so I can address the crowd before they get drunk enough to throw hors d’oeuvres at me.”

They walked off to find their table and Kara thought she ought to at least express some kind of indignation at having her underthings flaunted in public.

“Did you _really_ have to wave my underwear around like a flag?” They were nearing Alex and Kelly now so Kara whisper-yelled her dismay.

“Kara, that man could walk in on us scissoring and he’d think it was a secret handshake between besties.”

Kara’s wide eyes were on Lena. “Is scissoring actually a thing?” She hadn’t noticed them reach their destination.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Alex wore a pinched expression at their topic of conversation. Clearly their prolonged absence had not gone unnoticed. “You know, I think I actually am going to ask J’onn for another mindwipe. Why the hell not?”

“ _Another_ mindwipe?” Lena’s curiosity had taken precedence over Jess’ frantic waving from the makeshift platform at the centre of the hall.

Alex quirked a brow. “Yeah, when Colonel Haley was running the DEO, she was going around with the Truth Seeker trying to find out Supergirl’s identity. So there were a few months that year where I didn’t know it.”

Kara watched Lena try to process that information as she was finally dragged off by a fed-up Jess.

“So…Have they restocked on the potstickers yet? I’m starving.” Kara’s stomach grumbled as she spoke.

Alex rolled her eyes, shoving a plate of skewers in front of her bottomless sister. 

~ ~ ~

Lena delivered her speech without a hitch, thanking the guests for their attendance and tossing in some light flattery to encourage people to give more. She was waiting to the side of the stage now as her head of cancer research spoke passionately. But her mind was stuck on the information Alex had just given her.

It was significant, she realised, that her first reaction wasn’t the pang of betrayal she usually felt whenever the topic of Supergirl’s identity was broached. Her primary concern was Kara, and how utterly devastating it must have been to have to erase that part of herself from her sister’s mind. She must have felt completely isolated. Lena couldn’t blame her for being so withdrawn during that time. She thought about that year, and about how adversarial she and Supergirl had become.

As she pondered over their history for the nth time, Lena wondered at just when Kara _ought_ to have told her about being Supergirl. Kara had filled her in on the devastating results of a few choice moments, as shown by Mxyzptlk. Kara certainly hadn’t acted perfectly over the course of their friendship, but Lena found herself sympathising with the plight of when to pull the proverbial trigger on the situation.

She felt something unlock in her chest as she considered their past actions. She could no longer find within herself any of the long-held resentment toward Supergirl. Kryptonians made mistakes, just like humans. And Lena found she was finally ready to fully forgive Kara hers, and to truly live it out into their evolving relationship.

She was roused from her thoughts as the crowd broke out into a crescendo of applause for Dr. Carden, who must have just finished with her remarks. Lena made her way off the stage with Jess, who was breathing deep sighs of relief, and spotted Andrea again. The tall woman tendered an unsure smile her way and Lena sent a matching one in return. Maybe she could try out this “forgiveness” thing on someone other than Kara. The experiment might prove fruitful in the long run, if not only so she could stop collecting ex-friends like trophies of sad things past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena: https://images.app.goo.gl/pimLxpWXpiFvXGpX9 
> 
> Kara: https://images.app.goo.gl/i75PDBhvACpBJ3S67 
> 
> tumblr: vaguenessarda


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